The Lone Wolf
by Sadie Lovegood
Summary: Ever since Tonks was six years old, she’s had recurring flashbacks and nightmares about the events of a terrible winter’s night, and what almost happened to her. Now, 16 years later, she finds herself attracted to a man, even though he’s one of 'them.'
1. December 17th, 1979

"**The Lone Wolf"**

_**A/N: **__My next chapter fic, hopefully my best one to date. Unlike my last Remus/Tonks story, this one will be canon-compliant. What can I say, other than read and __**review**__! Reviews really do mean a lot to me, you guys. I assure you, you shall be rewarded handsomely for pushing that button at the bottom of each page. Enjoy!_

_**SUMMARY: **__Ever since Tonks was six years old, she'd had recurring flashbacks and nightmares about the events of a terrible winter's night, and what almost happened to her. Now, sixteen years later, she finds herself strangely enchanted by a man, even though he's one of __**THEM **__and she knows pursuing him could cost her her life._

_**RATING: T-17 for swearing, sexuality, and angst galore. **_

* * *

"'Dromeda, if you insist on worrying so much, why don't we just spend the night with my sister?"

The brown-haired, clearly anxious woman pacing the living room floor in front of her husband stopped dead in her tracks. The December air was thick, cold, and tense with fear. The small, yet cozy room was illuminated by a single lamp. It was a little under two weeks until Christmas, yet not a single decoration could be found anywhere around the Tonks cottage, located on the border of a large forest about twenty or so miles from Surrey. There had been so much more on the minds of Ted and Andromeda Tonks that preparing for an early Christmas was simply out of the picture.

"We really shouldn't put Katherine in that danger. Even if she is a Muggle, that could only make it worse, and she doesn't deserve that."

Ted shrugged. "You really don't have much to worry about. Bellatrix is no match for the Aurors, under constant survelliance, along with most of them," he said, his voice a little shaken, but soft and calming all the same. But this didn't seem to help.

"You know my sisters, that won't stop them," Andromeda Tonks muttered before returning to her pacing. "She wants her vengeance. She, and Narcissa and that ruddy fiancé of hers, Lucius—"

"—why on earth would that woman send you a letter NOW of all times, claiming that the Black Family Tree 'needs pruning'?" Ted said, rolling his eyes and taking a sip out of his bottle of butterbeer. "It's been ten years since you were burned off the tapestry!"

"There must be some method to my sisters' madness," Andromeda moaned. She looked out the window at the dark sky, illuminated by the full moon. "Maybe the Weasleys will take us in for a few nights until the threat has passed over?"

"'Dromeda, I hardly think they would want added chaos, what with four boys at home, two of them infants!" Ted said.

"Well then, what would YOU suggest we do, then, Ted?" Andromeda snapped, whipping her head around angrily. A tuft of coarse brown hair fell in her face. Andromeda blew it away from her nose.

Andromeda shivered as she thought about the piece of parchment Narcissa's owl, Dante, had delivered three days ago. It was scrawled in Bellatrix' own handwriting. Andromeda knew what every word said, even though she would've rather kept the hateful paragraph out of her mind altogether.

_Andromeda, You Blood Traitor,_

_The time has come. You will be extremely sorry you ever dared to abandon your family and marry a filthy mudblood, mark my words. And don't think this is just a threat. You are not my sister and I am not afraid of doing what I must do in the name of Black._

_Signed,_

_Bellatrix L._

_PS: I'd watch out for your freak mutant daughter as well, if I were you…_

"But 'Dromeda, we've put every possible protective charm over the house, and twice as many shields over Nymphadora's bedroom!" Ted said. "I really think this isn't much to worry about. Bellatrix has always been a bit crackers. Why should this letter be any different than the last few?"

Andromeda looked upstairs in the direction of a small pink door plastered with drawings of Quidditch brooms and crude renderings of a brown-haired mother holding a pink-haired daughter. The door was hazy to her vision, as it was blocked by a protective shield that only the caster could penetrate.

Andromeda sighed. "Maybe we should get some rest, then," Andromeda said. Ted stood up and wrapped his thick arms around his wife. She buried her face in his shoulder.

"If anything does happen, we could grab Nymphadora and Apparate to the Burrow in a matter of seconds," Ted insisted. Andromeda nodded, only slightly relieved.

"It's close to midnight," Ted said. "And I have to be at work early tomorrow—"

Suddenly, a loud boom in the distance cut Ted off. It shook the house slightly, as if a small earthquake had hit from out of nowhere. It sounded suspiciously like the breaking of a protective shield as several wizards and witches Apparated as one within its bounds. The sound exploded in Andromeda's ears, and she pulled apart from Ted abruptly. She scrambled to the window to see what had happened to cause the boom. To her absolute horror, she saw a dozen or so hooded figures pointing their wands at the cottage.

"GET DOWN!" Ted hollered, yanking his wife out of the window and down to the floor as a fireball the size of a melon hit the roof directly above them, causing it to catch fire. Andromeda screamed.

Another scream, a somewhat fainter scream, came from upstairs. Andromeda gasped.

"Nymphadora!" Andromeda yelled. "I'm coming!"

"'Dromeda! Hurry!" Ted yelled in a panic. More of the fire blasts were hitting the house.

"Ted, Apparate to the Weasleys, and tell them to contact the Aurors and send them here as fast as you can! We don't have TIME! GO!" Andromeda instructed. Ted shook his head.

"Not with outyou and Dora—"

"—not time! Just DO IT!" Andromeda hollered in a panic. Ted had no other choice but to nod and Disapparate on the spot. Andromeda nodded and bounded up the stair. She flicked her wand at the shield in front of the pink doorway and made her way into the room.

It was hot. The flames were spreading quickly. A girl sat up in bed, keeping a tight grip on an orange tabby cat. Her hair, long and curly, was a sickly green, the color it always got when Nymphadora was frightened. She didn't cry, but she was clearly shaken up.

"Mummy!" she called as she saw her saving grace enter the room.

"Take my hand, Nymphadora, we need to go to the Burrow, where you'll be safe. Let go of the cat—"

"—not Jinx!" Nymphadora said, horrified. Her grip tightened on the mewling animal. Andromeda growled with fear and impatience.

"The cat cannot come! We'll buy you a new one! It's either you or Jinx!" Andromeda said, her hand still outstretched. Nymphadora looked sadly at the cat and kissed its' head goodbye.

But before Nymphadora could hop off the bed to reach her mother, a fireball hurled right at the room and struck the window in front of which Andromeda stood. Andromeda was knocked out cold as the window frame struck her in the head. Nymphadora screamed.

"Mummy! Daddy! Mummy, HELP!" But the fire had trapped her in her bed. The only chance she had now was to jump out the window. The leap wasn't far, but what the little girl was worried about was if the bad guys who were attacking her house and family were waiting for her in the yard.

"MUMMY!" Nymphadora yelled. She could see her mother's body stir from behind the wall of flames, and after a crack, the body was gone.

Nymphadora took a deep breath and tumbled out the window, landing in a big pile of wet snow. Shivering in her nightdress, Nymphadora quickly got to her feet. Her face felt like huge sunburn had spread over it, and both of her arms had burns as well. Her night gown was singed at the hem.

Suddenly, four big, scary, hooded people with wands held high, flames at the tips, emerged from the smoky screen that obscured much of the girl's vision. They eyed her and looked ready to kill.

Screaming, Nymphadora got to her feet (cold and barefoot) and yelled. She was only six and could not yet control her magic, but fortunately for her, her last scream and shiver produced a surge of some kind of force that knocked the four hooded men on their backs as it crashed over them like a wave, long enough for Nymphadora to make her getaway.

Having nowhere to go but deep into the woods, Nymphadora sprinted as far away as she could, changing her direction every few minutes, in case the hooded men planned to follow her footprints in the snow.

The full moon illuminated her path as she desperately looked in vain for any kind of safe cottage to take shelter in. Her Mum and Dad had gone to safety elsewhere, and she hoped they knew where she was when they came back for her. Her feet grew increasingly numb with the snow under her feet. Soon she wouldn't even be able to run. Then what? How much longer could she last?

Stopping to catch her breath and let out a few tears, Nymphadora looked around her, and back at the now bright orange dot that was her burning cottage. She could distantly hear the voice of a cruel-sounding woman.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" said the voice. Nymphadora wanted to run, but her feet were now frozen in place, at least for the moment.

Suddenly, Nymphadora heard a low grumble. No, not a grumble, a growl. Turning to face her left side, Nymphadora saw a large, maddened wolf eyeing her greedily. No, this was no wolf. It was a werewolf. Nymphadora knew who this was. Her mother had shown her pictures in case she ever needed to save herself from this beast. Nymphadora remembered her mother mentioning the name Fenrir Greyback to her. This had to be him. No other werewolves she knew of ran through these woods.

"Mr. Greyback? I don't want to hurt you," Nymphadora asked cautiously. The wolf only barked. Drool hung from its fat lips.

Nymphadora screamed and turned her back. Thankfully, she could run now. She could hear the werewolf begin to run after her, picking up speed as it did.

This wasn't good at all. Andromeda had told Nymphadora if she was ever bitten by a werewolf, she would become one too, and it would probably be the end of her life as she knew it. It would be a family tragedy. It meant she wouldn't be allowed to attend Hogwarts or to hold a job. This information ran through Nymphadora' head, and it made her dainty, frozen feet pick up speed.

Nevertheless, the werewolf was gaining speed. She turned her head to look at it. The wolf suddenly leapt at her. Screaming, Nymphadora froze in her tracks and ducked. The wolf had miscalculated its jump, and it flew right over her and landed a good three meters on the other side.

Now there was nowhere to run but back to the house, where all those hooded men waited to hurt her. It was either them or be bitten by Fenrir Greyback and become a monster like him.

"Please…please…" she cried, curling herself into a ball as the werewolf stalked closer, having won its meal.

A bright white flash and a loud cracking sound startled the werewolf. Nymphadora didn't look up.

"Get off her, you mangy mutt! Back!" said a loud, gruff voice Nymphadora had never heard before.

A few noises that sounded like sparks firing out of a wand, a canine's whine, and the sound of paws scampering the other way followed, and Nymphadora judged it was safe to look up.

But what she saw…or rather, WHO she saw, towering above her did not please her any more. It was a tall, gruff man with a large walking cane, and an eye that was electric blue and spun madly around of its own accord, scowled down at her. He looked like he could've been a giant. And he didn't look very nice, either.

"Nymphadora," he muttered under his breath. She screamed and bounded to her feet, ready to run again. But this time, the man grabbed her before she could speed off.

"Easy! I'm not a Death Eater! Your Dad sent me here to fetch you!" the crazy-eyes man said, struggling to hold on to her. He had her by the waist, and no matter how hard she kicked, Nymphadora could not escape. "I'm saving you..WILL YOU STOP KICKING!"

Nymphadora did as she was told. "Who ARE you?" she asked cautiously.

"Alastor Moody," was the reply. "Now hold on tight. We're off to the Burrow where your Mum and Dad are waiting for you."

Just before Nymphadora saw the woods spin away from her, she caught one last glimpse of those two vicious, hungry, rabid eyes, staring her down, seemingly promising that the battle was over, but the war was far from won.


	2. The Three Patronuses

Waking up with a sudden jerk, Tonks' head shot up from her desk at the Auror department. She looked down at the space between her arms. A small puddle of drool lied on top of a file that Mad-Eye had once called 'extremely important.'

"Oh shit," she muttered. She'd fallen asleep while reviewing paperwork…AGAIN. Some job. She'd endured three long, hard years of intense training under the strict, watchful eye of Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody, and for what? To sit looking through Azkaban files to see if any of the low-security prisoners were eligible for parole. Tonks wasn't very fond of desk jobs. She needed action. She needed the thrill of a chase. What she DIDN'T need were more parole files to look over.

Her retinas still burned with the last image of her dream before she'd startled herself awake. Those eyes. Those canine eyes that bore a hole right through Tonks' mind ever since December 17th, 1979. Tonks could close her eyes and see them still, like the flash of a camera that was a little too bright.

Snapping back to reality and looking at the desk calendar to her right to make doubly sure that it was still June 24th, 1995, Tonks quickly sighed to herself. Not only was it still 1995, but it was also almost time to go home. Good, another long day almost over. Now she could go back to her parent's cottage (where, tragically, she still lived despite being twenty-two), and begin a long night endure her mother's endless tirades about how she should be married soon, or else she was going to die an old maid. Long boring days led to long boring nights. The days used to not be so bad, but that was before Mad-Eye had left to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts. Not that Kingsley wasn't a good supervisor, but he wasn't as…what was the word…animated, maybe?

Groaning at her own stupidity and humiliation for drooling in her sleep, Tonks grabbed a tissue and wiped away frantically at the spot she'd made, hoping nothing was noticeable. She kept rubbing even after the spot was gone. "Constant vigilance," as Mad-Eye would have said.

Once that little episode was over, Tonks decided that Kingsley Shacklebolt wouldn't mind if she skipped out early and perhaps grabbed a burger from a Muggle fast food place before heading home. Her purse hung by her chair, and she scooped it up as she got to her feet quietly, so that none of the other Aurors would notice. She checked to make sure she had Muggle money as well as the six galleons she had in her wallet. Her Muggleborn father always told her that carrying Muggle money on the streets could be handy. And it certainly proved to be true...particularly when Tonks was hungry for something other than dragon-fried kidneys.

But no sooner had Tonks pushed her chair under her desk than a giant silver Phoenix flew gracefully through the air, circling the Auror offices several times, looking for someone specific. Tonks quickly hurled herself back into her seat to make it look like she was still working. She could hear a few of the others whisper things like "It's Dumbledore's Patronus, isn't it?" and "Wonder what's going on at Hogwarts?"

Tonks bit her lips in pensive curiosity. A phoenix, clearly it was Albus Dumbledore's Patronus, here with a message. Tonks assumed it was for Kingsley, and sure enough, in a flash, the phoenix floated out of the office and towards Kingsley's private office (lucky duck, thought Tonks). She wanted to hear what Dumbledore had to say, but the buzz around the offices was so loud she couldn't hear anything else.

Tonks waited cautiously a few moments, knowing if she had any chance of escaping, it wouldn't be until the chaotic chatter subsided somewhat. Once everyone else was back at work, then she could get away. In the meantime, Tonks' thoughts volleyed between Dumbledore's message for Kingsley, and a chocolate milkshake to go with her burger.

Shrugging and supposing Dumbledore was announcing to Kingsley the winner of the Triwizard Tournament (Tonks had ten galleons on Viktor Krum, so she kept the fingers of her left hand crossed), Tonks got to her feet again ten minutes later and silently crept towards the door that led to the elevator out of the Auror Department. Freedom was only a few steps away…

Tonks had her hand on the doorknob, when she felt a small something, like a bird's beak, poke her left shoulder. She turned around to see what looked like a flying paper airplane with Kingsley's signature on it.

"Damn," Tonks muttered. She'd been caught. Kingsley probably wondered what she was doing leaving an hour before the department closed.

Dragging her feet (which both Mad-Eye and her mother would've slapped her for doing) down to Kingsley's office, Tonks breathed deeply, three or four different fictitious excuses in her mind prepared for skipping out early, and went in. Kingsley was not sitting behind his desk, but looking at a large map behind his desk that showed all of Southern England and pin-pointed all the full-magic or half-magic towns, villages, and cities with blue dots. He seemed to be studying it closely, his back was turned to her as she came in.

But he obviously heard her, for as soon as she stepped inside, he spoke. "Nymphadora," he greeted. Tonks cringed.

"Sir, with all due respect, it's Tonks," Tonks said carefully.

Kingsley turned around to face her. He looked stressed, but he managed to wear a smile for her. "Of course…Tonks."

"You wanted to see me?" Tonks asked warily. Kingsley nodded.

"Yes," he said simply. He waved his wand, and the door shut behind them. Kingsley did not take a seat, nor did he offer Tonks a seat.

"Is there something…something wrong?" Tonks asked.

_Now there's a stupid question, _she thought to herself.

"Very much so, I'm afraid. That was Dumbledore just now," Kingsley said. "There is some terrible news that just came from Hogwarts. A boy has been killed…and…Voldemort has returned."

Tonks thought at first that she'd perhaps heard wrong. Voldemort? He Who Must Not Be Named, back from the dead?

"That's impossible…" Tonks muttered under her breath.

"I am afraid it's all too possible. Dumbledore assured me that Harry Potter saw him return. The lad is apparently extremely shaken up over both this and the young man's death," Kingsley informed.

Tonks bit her lip. "Why are you telling ME this?" Her knees began to shake. With Voldemort came his Death Eaters. With Death Eaters came the one thing she feared more in the world than anything else: werewolves. Particularly Fenrir Greyback.

"Well, before we discuss that, I need to ask a favor of you," Kingsley said hesitantly. "You don't really like all of this desk work, do you?"

Tonks cautiously nodded her head.

Kingsley smiled again despite the obvious fear lying behind the smile. "Dumbledore wants to reunite some of the people he had fight the Dark Lord last time…those who are still alive, that is. But he's told me that it won't be nearly enough to be affective. We only have a few Aurors in this organization."

Tonks could see where this was going. "Sir, couldn't you just get the whole department to help Dumbledore? Why just me?"

Kingsley shook his head. "You will understand in good time. I don't even understand myself, to be quite honest…this is very frightening news, you understand."

Tonks nodded. Yes, she DID understand. She felt her feet freeze, and she heard a low growl. This time, Mad-Eye might not be around to drag her to safety.

"We need some young people on our side, in this organization. Many of us who were around last time are beginning to get on in years."

"If I join this group, I'll…fight?" Tonks asked, half out of fear, half out of excitement. Real action? At long last?

Kingsley nodded. "It will be life-risking at every turn, you understand—"

Suddenly, another Patronus, this one in the form of a sea lion, came tumbling into the room. Kingsley perked up. "Ah, Emmeline," he noted under his breath.

The sea lion spoke. "Please inform me where we will be meeting as soon as possible. I am ready," was all it said before it died away.

After a moment's pause, Tonks nodded eagerly for him to continue.

"It is called the Order of the Phoenix," Kingsley said. "Dumbledore heads it. It's so important, it's been an hour since the Dark One's return, and already he's recruiting and reuniting members."

"I want to join, Kingsley," Tonks insisted. Kingsley looked her over.

"I'm sure you'll be a very useful member, with you unique talents."

Tonks rolled her eyes, and her hair turned a violent shade of electric blue. Kingsley almost looked ready to laugh, if the reason for this meeting weren't casting a shadow of fear over the room.

"We want to meet as soon as possible, but we don't have a place to call Headquarters," Kingsley said. "Once we do, you will be formally inducted by the other members voting—oh don't worry, I'm sure you'll be unanimously voted in—and then you'll begin working as soon as possible."

"Who else is in this Order?" Tonks asked.

"You will be able to meet them as soon as our first meeting occurs. Dumbledore wants us to have it within the next few days…tomorrow, even, if possible."

Tonks nodded. "You'll let me know when and where?"

Before Kingsley could open his mouth to answer, a third Patronus sailed into the office. This one was a dog. A big, brave dog. Tonks held her breath as the dog leapt onto Kingsley's desk. Kingsley breathed in.

The dog spoke its message. "Headquarters and first meeting is at 12 Grimmauld Place, the day after tomorrow." Then the dog fizzled out.

"There's your answer already," he said.

Tonks looked at Kingsley with baffled curiosity. "Who was that?"

Kingsley looked at Tonks with a stern look. "Sirius Black."

Tonks gasped. "Sirius? BLACK?! You…his…arrest him! Why….? UGH!" Tonks said, unable to produce a full sentence. She and her fellow Auror trainees had been through fifty hours a week being taught about Sirius Black in training, being the only man ever to successfully escape Azkaban as far as Tonks knew to date.

"I'll explain later, but let me assure you, he is not a criminal, and he is not a danger to any of us, but please don't go saying that to anyone else. This whole Order is an incredible secret, Tonks. You need to swear you will not say a word, even to your family until it is necessary."

Tonks held up both her hands to prove she wasn't crossing any fingers. "I swear on my life."

Kingsley nodded in approval. "Good. You can go home. I will send a Patronus and an Order member along to bring you to…Headquarters," he assured.

Tonks looked apprehensive.

"It won't be Sirius Black, and I will explain all of that at the meeting."

Tonks breathed a sigh of relief and left Kingsley's office.

Never had such a rush of so many emotions hit her all at once like it. It was like a gale force wind smashing in her face while she was on a broom. An hour ago, she was drooling all over the Marsden file, and now, since then, The Dark Lord had risen again, Dumbledore was already planning a counter attack against him, and Tonks had been asked to join the revolt!

He'd returned. Suddenly, the full force of it hit Tonks, and it felt like a rock had settled in her stomach. Voldemort was back to full power, ready to kill, and his followers who weren't in Azkaban were undoubtedly at his side, planning their first raid or their first strike at Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived. The evil being who'd torn her mother's family apart, who'd killed so many innocents, who targeted Muggleborns such as her father and blood traitors such as herself and her mother, was back and ready to strike.

Suddenly, it didn't matter so much that she'd lost ten galleons betting on Viktor Krum.

* * *

That night, Tonks remained oddly quiet around the dinner table. Andromeda and Ted couldn't figure out why. But the main topic of conversation around the dinner table that night (which Tonks ended up sitting at, as she seemed to have lost her appetite for that burger earlier) focused mainly on her. 

"Nymphadora, this news is terrifying! How come you're not saying anything? I would have thought You-Know-Who's alleged return and that Diggory boy's death would've had you speaking volumes tonight!" Andromeda amentioned.

Ted wiped a smudge of mashed potate away from the corner of his lip. "Maybe she's in shock, 'Dromeda," Ted suggested.

"I would've thought so too. She's an Auror now, Ted. She'll be out every night fighting for her life and, and...oh! I can't stand thinking about it!"

"She'll be FINE, dear. They would'nt have given her a certificate if she hadn't done exceptionally well in training. Nymphadora knows her stuff."

Tonks growled lowly every time 'Nymphadora' was mentioned instead of 'Tonks.' She had a hard time keeping her meatloaf down. They were talking as if she wasn't even in the room.

"I sincerely hope this is all just a rumor, like Fudge is claiming."

Ted looked up fro his plate. "Fudge said it's a hoax? But that Cedric boy is dead, and Harry Potter said he fought him. Honestly, how can ANYONE deny that?" Tonks finally took a genuine interest in the conversation.

Andromeda shook her head. "It was in _The Evening Prophet_. There is evidence Cedric Diggory died as a result of an accident with a bush of Devil's Snare during the Third Task for the tournatment he was in, and Potter could just be in shock."

"Kingsley Shacklebolt seems to believe him, and so do I."

Androemda and Ted looked down the table at Tonks. "Nymphadora, you really buy it?"

"BUY IT?" Tonks almost yelled. "There's nothing TO buy! He's back. Dumbledore's form...Dumbledore's very worried. I'm sure of he is alarmed, theer is good reason to be alarmed, and before you say ANYTHING, Mum, I am going to be fighting them off, and I don't give a damn if your my mother and I'm only twenty-two and unmarried! Good NIGHT!" Tonks said, getting up without finishing her supper and storming upstairts to her room.

Andromeda and Ted were left speechless.

After a moment, Andromeda muttered, "Listen to her! You would've thought she was a member of Dumbledore's old Order of the Phoenix!"

* * *

_**A/N:** Everyone who reviews this chapter gets a night on the town from their favorite Order of the Phoenix member! Sirius Black likes to hit the nightclubs. Remus Lupin fancies a nice dinner in a posh resteraunt before a moonlit stroll in the park. Kingsley is in the mood for a night at the movies. Tonks likes to venture into Diagon Alley for their late-night sales. _


	3. Tonks in the Mirror

Before she knew it, Tonks was standing at Kingsley's side inside the place now called 'Headquarters' for the Order of the Phoenix. 12 Grimmauld Place. It was a small place, and something about it sent shivers down Tonks' spine. Something about this place made her rethink her decision to join this organization. But then again, maybe it was just the fact that she had to go through somewhat of a mini-trial before being formally inducted. Tonks was never very good at convincing people she was a serious Auror with good training and only the best of intentions at heart. Lots of people she knew just saw her as a ruffian.

It was sometime before two in the afternoon. Tonks carried a small suitcase, as she planned to live here, at least temporarily. "The meeting isn't until six, when Molly will be serving dinner," Kingsley explained. "You will be staying upstairs, third door on the right. It's not a large room, I'm very sorry."

"Don't be, I don't take up much space," Tonks answered. Kingsley nodded.

"Now, when you're asked to introduce yourself, I suggest you mention your Auror training and your unique ability to morph," he advised. "You're not going to the table looking like this, are you?"

Tonks fingered her spiky-short lemon-yellow hair, and shook her head. "Maybe I could…practice my speech in my room?" she suggested. Kingsley nodded.

"A good idea," he agreed. "Someone else who is staying here is moving in a little later, and the Weasleys will be here later too. It will just be Molly and Arthur. School doesn't end until tomorrow."

Tonks nodded and headed towards the staircase that led up. It looked ancient, as did pretty much everything else in the house. And it still gave her chills, and they seemed to get worse with every step she took.

Suddenly, Tonks tripped. It was as if that umbrella stand came out of nowhere. Tonks managed to catch herself before she hurdled to the floor. Suddenly, a shrill voice that only added to the odd feeling Tonks had rang loud throughout the quiet house.

"GET THAT BLOOD TRAITOR OUT OF MY HOUSE! HOW DARE THAT FREAK DISTURB THIS NOBLE HOUSE OF MY ANCESTORS, TAINTING OUR HISTORY WITH YOUR—"

"—oh, shut UP, you old bat!" said a hoarse, new voice, sounding very annoyed.

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK YOU ME THAT WAY!" cried the first voice…clearly an older woman's voice. Tonks saw the source…it was a painting of a woman who looked vaguely familiar to Tonks, especially in the eyes.

"Go to hell!" The second voice grunted. Tonks turned to Kingsley, but he apparently hadn't followed her, and was gone now.

Tonks turned around again, and the source of the second voice had materialized, and was yanking a set of curtains around the painting. After awhile the mad old woman from the painting yelled no more. The man then turned to Tonks and grinned.

"Charming woman, really," he said. "I'll be damned," he muttered. "Nymphadora—"

"—TONKS," Tonks asserted, pulling out her wand and aiming it defensively. "And you'd best stay away from her, Sirius Black. I'm armed and trained well as an Auror!"

Sirius chuckled to himself and raised both hands in the air. "Just like your mother. Full of the old Black spark…I daresay, you don't have nearly as much of it as your aunts, however."

Tonks snorted. "Dumbledore knows you're here?" she asked cautiously.

Sirius nodded. "This is my house. I've offered it to him for the use of the Order. The Black Family House, and THAT," Sirius pointed at the covered painting, "was my mother, unfortunately."

"Are you armed?" Tonks asked, still very skeptical of having a convicted criminal in the same house with her…alone.

Sirius shook his head. "You are, I'm not. I can see this might take awhile, but it will be all explained once you're inducted."

Tonks bit her lip. Sirius didn't look at all like Tonks had expected, nor did he resemble the mug shot that had been put on the flyers posted all around the Wizarding world. His eyes were too sad, and too kind. He looked more hurt by Tonks' mistrust than angry. And if Dumbledore trusted him, there really was no reason Tonks had not to trust him. After all, her mother had told her that in her youth, Sirius was her favorite cousin.

"You're staying here, right?" Sirius asked. Tonks lowered her wand a bit, but not too much.

"Until I get used to this new regime. I will eventually find an apartment, I suppose. Or I might be put on an assignment a distance from here and put myself up in a boardinghouse," Tonks answered.

"Let me show you to your room then," Sirius offered. Tonks sighed and put her wand at her side. Mad-Eye would've had her ass for hat for thinking it without making sure, but Sirius Black didn't seem so bad.

She let Sirius lead her up the creaking old staircase and down a hall until they got to the third door on the right. "Hope you don't get too much of the willies in here. This was your grandfather's old room when he and my dear-old Dad grew up in this house together."

"I really don't like this place at all, to be quite honest," Tonks said.

"Neither do I. I'd rather have a root canal every day for the rest of my life than live here, to be frank. But it is quite an improvement to Azkaban, I must say, so I really shouldn't complain, I suppose."

Tonks smiled. Sirius smiled back. "How is your Mum?" he asked, his hand on the door knob to the room, but making no move to turn it.

"She's worried about me," Tonks replied. "She's been so protective of me since—"

"—ah," Sirius nodded, seemingly cutting Tonks off on purpose. Sirius had not yet gone to Azkaban when Tonks and her parents were attacked in their old cottage. But he'd never come around to make sure they were safe and sound, and Andromeda grew somewhat irate because of his seeming lack of concern. Maybe that was part of the reason why he seemed a little awkward around her.

Sirius just stared at Tonks a moment, and then finally opened the door to her room. Indeed, it was small, and the Slytherin banners on the walls made it a little awkward for the ex-Gryffindor and ex-Hufflepuff. But the bed looked rather cozy. There was a small vanity table and mirror, and a small window that overlooked the street.

"This will do nicely," Tonks said. "Except for the…obvious display of the Slytherin colors…"

Sirius groaned. "Don't bother. Permanent Sticking Charm," he replied. Tonks rolled her eyes.

"So what if there is one? Doesn't mean I can't ALTER things in here a bit!" Tonks took her wand out of her pocket and waved it. Just as she suspected, her spell went off without a hitch, and everything that displayed green and silver snakes turned into black and yellow badgers. Sirius chuckled.

"I can be such a moron," he said. "I never thought of that! So…I take it you're a...Ravenclaw?" he asked. Tonks rolled her eyes at her cousin's mock-stupidity.

"Don't look at me like that!" Sirius said. "You managed to avoid the Black-Slytherin curse too! Congratulations! Even your mum couldn't avoid it!"

Tonks nodded. "Well, I guess it helped that my dad was in Hufflepuff," she replied. Sirius nodded, considering this.

"I'm having someone else move in later, so if you want to practice your defense for the court tonight, I suggest you close the door."

"Defense?" asked Tonks, a hint of fear in her voice.

Sirius couldn't help but laugh. "You'll be fine. I have no doubt."

Tonks sighed in relief and nodded. "Thank you, Sirius."

"No problem," Sirius said. "If you need me, I'll be down in the kitchen eating the innocent little babies I killed last week."

Tonks smirked. She couldn't imagine how Sirius could find the room to joke about something like that under the circumstances. Sirius disappeared from the doorway.

Tonks went to the mirror and observed herself. She hadn't had much sleep over the past two nights, so bags were beginning to form under her eyes. But she could easily get rid of those herself. She squinted, and with little effort, they disappeared. She then decided to make herself appear so that the other Order members would take her seriously. Deciding to grow her hair out until it was shoulder-length, Tonks thought about giving it a little wave, but then decided against it. And the neon yellow would not do, either. She didn't like her natural mousy brown, as it was too boring, even for a defense organization such as this one. She decided a strawberry blonde would suffice. Natural enough, bit a little more vivacious. After all, I really wasn't effective if she was going to lie to get into the Order.

She made her face a little rounder, and she shaped her nose a little bit to make it smoother. By the time she was done, she looked decent enough to be acquitted in front of the Wizengamot, at least in her opinion.

Outside her window, rain was beginning to pour. She went to the window and decided not to close the curtains. It was dark enough with the window open.

So, this was her grandfather's room. Aside from the fact that all the Slytherin pennants were now Hufflepuff pennants, the room still gave an air of creepiness. Tonks had never thought of herself as half-Black before. But the feeling she got was nevertheless freaky. Maybe, even though she was disowned, the blood was still there somewhere.

Tonks toyed with the idea of taking a nap, and maybe the perfect idea for a speech would come to her in her sleep. But then she decided the best argument would be a conscious argument. Thus, the rehearsing began.

* * *

As the rain outside poured harder over the next few hours, Tonks stood in front of the mirror, talking about her strengths. In addition to her obvious talent in disguise, Tonks had quite a gift for flying. She was a Chaser for two years on the Hufflepuff team when their first choice was recovering from some injury. She also knew a bit about how to see through other disguises, as personally taught to her through Mad-Eye. She knew a few of the slight ways one could tell the difference between an ally and someone Polyjuiced as one's ally. First, Mad-Eye taught her, while the physical appearance changes under the influence of Polyjuice, voices don't. Second, Polyjuice is incapable of changing eye color, so if one's friend had blue eyes, yet the person standing before him had hazel eyes, there was a hint that this person was not himself. Thirdly, people under Polyjuice Potion tend to feel secure in only looking like the ally, they often reveal themselves through their habits. Mad-Eye told her of how many wizard he put in Azkaban because they used the wrong hand to write with, or they knew a tidbit of information the normal person would not have known.

Tonks recited this over and over in her head until she looked more confident in saying this. She began smiling as she said her 'defense' to herself over and over in her head. It was like reciting lines for a play.

"For instance, a man under the influence of Polyjuice Potion will retain his natural voice—"

"—really? Is that so?"

Tonks jumped about a meter into the air and turned around to see a man she'd never seen before, standing in the doorway, smiling, mildly amused at the sight of someone talking to themselves in a mirror. He had scars all over his face and neck, as if he'd fallen face first into a drawer of steak knives. But his smile was kind. He stood about average-height and had chestnut brown hair.

But Tonks felt a chill down her spine. She looked him in the eye. Something about him wasn't quite right. Something didn't sit well with her. But he still didn't seem to be harmful. More importantly, Tonks had just been caught talking to herself in a mirror. Now would be a good time for one of her world-famous comebacks that had saved her ass from humiliation so many times during her school days.

But Tonks opened her mouth, and nothing came out. She'd never closed her door! She just stood there with her mouth open. The man laughed heartily.

"I'm not a dentist, Miss, so you may close your mouth at any time."

Tonks did so, but to compensate, she knitted her eyebrows. "I'm the new recruit," Tonks introduced herself as, oh so wittingly.

The man nodded. "I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have disturbed you," he said sincerely. "I can only assume you were practicing for your induction tonight."

"Well, I have to prove myself useful first," Tonks said back. The man smiled kindly.

"Well, I really doubt you have anything to worry about. You're an Auror, right?" he asked. Tonks nodded. "That will work to your advantage. All that will happen is the rest of us will ask a few question, then we'll vote and have dinner. I heard Molly plans to make a delicious chicken stew, so bring your open mouth to the meeting, alright?"

Tonks cocked her head slightly to the right. He seemed decent enough. He seemed VERY decent, in fact. But why did Tonks feel like she had to stand her ground in front of him?

"Um, I will," Tonks said.

The man smiled again. Tonks bit her lip before speaking again. "Why do you have so many scars on your face? Were you in an accident?"

The man's happy expression suddenly changed drastically. Tonks suddenly felt she'd struck some kind of nerve.

"Oh, I'm sorry if I pried too far, there. My Mum says it's one of my worst faults, aside from the clumsiness and the tendency to break things instead of fixing them."

The man nodded again. "No, it's fine." Tonks noted that he didn't bother to answer her question, If it was 'fine' then why wasn't he saying anything?

"My name's Tonks, by the way," Tonks said, attempting to break the awkward silence.

The man's smile came back, although it wasn't as intense as it was before. "I'm Remus. Remus Lupin."

Tonks nodded.

"Tonks, that's quite an interesting name," Remus Lupin said. "What is your surname?"

"Tonks," Tonks said, nodding as if it were obvious. Remus Lupin snickered.

"Your name is Tonks Tonks?" he asked, chuckling. Tonks growled to herself.

"I'm not particularly fond of my first name, so I don't go telling it to people I've just met," Tonks replied artfully. Remus nodded.

"Fair enough. Well, I guess I'd better go settle in. I'm staying in the room next to Sirius' room, and I want to take a brief nap before the meeting," he said. "Good luck tonight, Tonks."

Tonks nodded in thanks as Remus Lupin walked on. "I'll need it," she muttered to herself.

* * *

_**A/N:** To all those who review this chapter, one night spent anywhere in the world with your favorite Order member! Kingsley likes to experience ethnic adventures in the South Pacific. Remus will take you for a fancy night in Paris. Sirius wants to stroll 5th Avenue with you in New York City. Tonks prefers to end her day lying on the beach in Mexico!_


	4. Bullfrogs and Ferrets

As Tonks began to hear more and more voices downstairs greeting each other, she changed quickly (with the door CLOSED this time) into robes that were less outgoing and more business-meeting suitable. She felt awkward in the long sleeves and close-fitting skirt, but she wanted to be absolutely certain she impressed the rest of the Order. The commotion grew louder and louder downstairs, and the clock on the wall read five minutes to six. It was still raining outside, and it had gotten a bit darker.

There was a knock on the door. "Come in," Tonks said. Molly Weasley poked her head in the door and smiled.

"Mrs. Weasley!" Tonks exclaimed, smiling broadly. Molly walked into the room to take Tonks in a tight embrace. "It's been a few years!"

"You're a brave one, you are, offering yourself to the Order under circumstances such as these. Oh! My, my," she said, standing back and studying her ensemble. "You certainly look lovely."

"Thank you," Tonks said.

"I brought Bill here to be inducted tonight too," Molly said. "I invited Charlie, but he's staying in Romania."

Tonks blushed. "Bill will be here?" she asked. She recalled the insane girl-crush she'd had on Bill Weasley during their days at school. It embarrassed the hell out of his brother Charlie, who was in the same year as Tonks and had a crush on her in turn.

"Yes, and your question time will go first, then after we vote on you, Bill will have his turn."

Great, another thing to worry about. Not only was she being judged tonight, but she was going to look like a complete ass in front of Bill. Tonks took a deep breath. Maybe she DID look a bit too formal.

"You can come downstairs now if you wish. After the meeting, dinner will be served, and I made a cherry tart for dessert," Molly said excitedly.

"That sounds delicious," Tonks said. Molly motioned for her to come along with her. Tonks couldn't protest. Molly was literally dragging her down the hall by the arm. Tonks took a deep breath as Molly escorted Tonks down the creaky staircase, past the curtain-covered portrait of Sirius' mother, and beyond that into the kitchen, where a very long, narrow table sat. One end of the room had a hearth and fireplace, the other end had the stove and cooking devices. Everyone else was either sitting and chattering, or finding a place to sit.

Tonks noticed many familiar faces, some she felt relieved to see, some she did not. Arthur Weasley's warm smile made a smidgen of the weight on Tonks' shoulder disappear, if only for a moment. She recognized Hestia Jones, who was a friend of her Mum's and came to tea at the cottage once in awhile. She also regretfully saw Severus Snape among the group of people. He was not talking to anyone, but staring at Tonks as if she were a disease. Tonks felt her heart skip three beats. Snape had been her Potions professor, and he frequently oversaw her detentions. Also, Minerva McGonagall was here. McGonagall, while more pleasant than Snape, also had a tough time with Tonks during her school days due to her disciplinary problems.

Sirius sat across the table from Remus Lupin, the nosy man with the scars on his face. Tonks felt her face blush redder when he caught her eye and winked.

"You'll be sitting across from Bill at the head of the table," Molly instructed. "I really think Dumbledore should be here to oversee the hearings and inductions, but he has to see the students onto the train home tomorrow. Also, Alastor can't be here until he recovers a bit more, but he will be here at the next meeting. I know he'd rather be here watching your induction, I'm sure," Molly said. Tonks nodded, remembering getting the news two days ago that the man everyone thought was Mad-Eye teaching turned out to be Bartimus Crouch Jr Polyjuiced, and the real Mad-Eye had been locked in a trunk for nine months. Tonks took her seat next to Arthur Weasley, and across from Bill Weasley. He'd grown his hair out even more since they'd last met. He gave Tonks a confident smile. While Tonks did return his grin with one of her own, she regretted that she didn't have half the confidence to show off.

Molly went to the head of the table, and the room went silent. Tonks held her breath. "This meeting will come to order."

Tonks felt Bill kick her shin under the table for luck. Tonks returned it, perhaps a little too hard, because Bill yelped a little, making Molly scowl in his direction for a moment. Tonks mouthed an apology, and Bill nodded.

"I'm sure we all know why the Order is being reinstated on Dumbledore's orders," Molly said. "But we will talk about that later, because as you all know, we have two other matters to take care of first. William Weasley and Nymphadora Tonks are candidates for induction as new members of the Order of the Phoenix, and now will be the time we can ask questions of how they will be an asset or a liability to the group. Up first is Nymphadora Tonks," Molly said, signaling for Tonks to stand at the head of the table. Tonks looked at Remus, who smiled at hearing her first name at last. Tonks knew she must have been beet red.

"I'm Tonks, just Tonks," she introduced. "I really hate my first name. But anyways, that isn't relevant. I qualified as an Auror about a year ago, and I graduated from Hogwarts—House of Hufflepuff—in Spring of 1991. I'm very good with disguise…" Tonks said, demonstrating by turning her hair violet for a brief moment before turning it back to strawberry blonde. Bill chuckled. Sirius grinned amusedly. Snape rolled his eyes. Remus looked pleasantly surprised.

"Does anyone have questions for Nympha—" Tonks shot a deadly glance Molly's way. "Tonks?"

Hestia raised her hand. "Do you have any other skills aside from morphing?"

Tonks nodded and took a breath. "I'm good on a broomstick. I was a Chaser for two years on my house's team."

Bill nodded. "Oh yeah, you were on the team the year Hufflepuff won the Quidditch Cup for the first time in eighty-two years!"

Arthur cleared his throat, warning Bill to hold his tongue. Tonks nodded. "I was also trained under Mad-Eye, so you can be assured that my advanced spells are flawless."

Minerva McGonagall raised her hand. "Could you please demonstrate a message-bearing Patronus for us? One of an Order member's main means of long-distance communication is Patronus. Could you please send a message to someone in the room?"

Tonks swallowed hard as McGonagall looked at her with intent. Tonks got out her wand, looked slyly at Sirius, and waved her wand with the message clear in her mind. Her Patronus animal, a ferret, flew flawlessly out of her wand, landed on the table, and strolled rather casually down the table, stopping in front of Sirius Black.

Tonks' voice rang throughout the room. "_It wouldn't have killed you to give me a bigger room, Sirius Black_." The ferret, having delivered its' message, dissolved. Sirius, Bill, Remus, and a few others laughed. McGonagall nodded approvingly. Snape was stone-faced and appeared even a little irritated.

"Miss Nymphadora," Snape said after the laughter died down. Tonks gritted her teeth, knowing full well that Snape was saying her first name partially out of spite. "As I recall, during your school days, you were a trouble maker and were practically a regular in detentions with me," he said. "How do we know you have matured since then, or are you the same little brat that I made write lines night, after night…"

"Shut up, Snivellus," Sirius warned, lowering his gaze and baring his teeth like a dog ready to attack.

"Actually," Tonks said. "I don't believe I have matured. I still find myself a rebellious free spirit. But I believe this will be an asset to the Order. Because unless Voldemort wants to talk things out over tea, I don't think manners and good behavior will do us much good. Should I refrain from knocking out a Death Eater because it is against the law to harm another, Professor Snape?"

Everyone in the room aside from Snape looked like they seemed satisfied with that answer. Snape, however did not seem ready to give in just yet.

"I believe she is a bit too young to join the Order. Auror she may be, she's only been qualified for a year. She wouldn't last a minute against the least significant of Death Eaters. What if she came face-to-face with a Lestrange or a Malfoy, or even the Dark Lord himself? She would not last an instant!"

"Well, I hardly think your opinion matters," Tonks shot back, a little too quickly. She realized this was not the time for quick witted comebacks. Nevertheless, her motor mouth rolled on. "Would your love potions and elixirs do any better, Professor?"

She could hear Sirius snicker. Snape shot her a deadly look, and Tonks retaliated with a look of her own. Molly intervined.

"I really think that's enough for now, thank you, Tonks. Before we vote, we'll hear from Bill."

* * *

As much as she wanted to hear how Bill proved himself worthy of induction, Tonks' mind wandered off on it's own. Snape had clearly been on the offensive, and while Tonks had not backed down, maybe the others listened to Snape. He did have much more experience with Dark wizards.

Or did he? Tonks thought a moment. Maybe he didn't have that much more experience than she anyways. After all, what his home and family attacked? Did he ever almost get bitten by a werewolf as notorious as Fenrir Greyback?

Tonks looked down the table and caught Remus Lupin's eye again. She nodded at him politely. He looked at her with a twinkle in his eye. Something about that twinkle made Tonks jump in her seat. It made her feet go cold for a moment before Tonks looked away. Odd, she didn't think of him as very handsome.

Man, Bill sure looked confident as he spoke. Tonks twiddled her thumbs under the table like a child waiting impatiently for dessert. The sooner the vote, the sooner Tonks would know whether she was accepted, or whether she has to go upstairs and pack her things and head back to her mother's house, and back to that little desk filing Azkaban papers for Kingsley.

She saw Bill do McGonagall's request of producing a messenger Patronus (his bullfrog Patronus told Kingsley that his hat was crooked), and a few minutes later, Bill sat. Molly bade him to stand up again after a moment, and then she bade Tonks to stand beside him. Tonks bit her lip. This was it!

Sirius crossed his fingers under the table.

"We will be voting for Tonks first. Arthur?"

"Aye."

Tonks grinned and nodded in thanks.

"Hestia?"

"Aye."

"Remus?"

"Aye."

"Severus?"

"Nay."

Tonks scowled.

After receiving 'ayes' from Sirius, McGonagall, and Kingsley, Tonks was officially inducted into the Order of the Phoenix. Bill got the same results, the only rejection again from Snape.

"Well, now that we have two more members, why don't we have the rest of the meeting over supper?" Molly suggested, going to the pot of chicken stew that had been tempting and torturing Tonks' nose all throughout Bill's questioning.

Sirius got to his feet. "And while we pour the firewhiskey in toast to our new members, I propose Tonks and Bill send their Patronuses personally to Dumbledore informing them of the good news!"

Tonks smiled as Sirius sat. Tonks looked at Bill and nodded. Bill nodded back. They simultaneously waved their wands. The bullfrog and the ferret danced (or hopped) side by side and flew out the window, disappearing into the night. Everyone clapped. Snape excused himself from the meeting.

"I really need to get back to the school in time for the goodbye feast," Snape muttered, leaving. Sirius gave Tonks a knowing look as she sat back down.

But even Snape didn't matter right now. For the moment, she was a member of the Order of the Phoenix, and nothing could change that.

Once the goblets of firewhiskey were distributed, Sirius raised his glass.

"To Tonks and Bill Weasley!"

"Cheers!" Everyone said ceremoniously, clinking glasses with each other.

"Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix!"

* * *

Later, after sitting through dinner, dessert, coffee and drinks, and her first formal Order meeting, where they discussed Voldemort's returned and what his predicted first moves would be, Tonks felt overwhelmingly tired. The Weasleys, McGonagall, Kingsley, and Hestia left right after dessert. Now only Sirius, Remus, and Tonks sat at the table. They drank butterbeer and talked casually, as if they;d all known each other for years.

"Oh, Moony," Sirius. Before I forget, I think there's a boggart under the bed in Regulus' old room. You're better at that stuff than I am, mind having a look tomorrow?"

"No problem," Remus said. Tonks felt confused.

"Why do you call him 'Moony'?" she asked. Remus and Sirius looked at each other.

"My nickname in school," Remus said. Tonks nodded.

"Mine was Padfoot," Sirius said.

Tonks nodded. "I can understand the 'Padfoot,' but where do you get 'Moony' from, though?" Tonks asked curiously.

Remus got that same look suddenly, that he had earlier when Tonks asked why he had so many scars on his face. Tonks knew that this was only going to lead to more awkward moments.

"Sorry, Remus," Tonks sighed. "Maybe I should just get some rest."

Remus nodded, almost looking glad for the suggestion. Sirius gave Remus an odd look, then looked up at Tonks and nodded. "Good night then."

Tonks nodded. "Good night, you two."

Tonks headed out of the kitchen, but before she went upstairs, her wandering ear latched itself onto the conversation Sirius was now having with just Remus.

"When are you going to tell her?" Sirius asked. Tonks froze.

"It's none of her business right now. She's been a member for one night," Remus replied.

"That's the wrong answer. Everyone else knows, and we all don't give a damn about it," Sirius said. "Just tell her! She's going to find out anyways."

"But it's more complicated with her!" Remus said.

"That's bullshit, Moony, and you damn well know it. You made that excuse with everyone else," Sirius said, his voice a little more high-pitched than usual.

"I'm not kidding this time. This goes beyond just telling her, Sirius. There's more to this secret when it comes to Tonks. I just….after tonight, today, and our history, how can I possibly tell her that I'm a werewolf?"

Tonks' brain was about to explode. So many bits of information circulated about with that one sentence. What did he mean 'our history'? She'd never met him before today! Did he mean 'our' as in him and Sirius? Well, he must have. What were the two of them keeping from her?

And a werewolf?! The very thing Tonks feared more than anything else in the world. There was a werewolf in the house, staying only a few doors down from her! A werewolf who's actually flirted with her earlier that very day! Tonks felt woozy as her head felt heavy. She felt herself sway as everything around her grew hazy. She finally fell to the floor with a THUD after several seconds, echoes of Remus' scarred face saying the word 'werewolf' over and over again the last conscious thing Tonks saw before blacking out.

* * *

_**A/N:** This time, whoever reviews this chapter gets a snog with their favorite Order member wherever you want! Remus likes to snog down by the Black Lake. Tonks likes it behind the Quidditch Pitch. Sirius will do it pretty much anywhere. ;)_


	5. Starting Over

Tonks awoke around noon the next day, lying in her own bed in her tiny room at 12 Grimmauld Place. The room was dark, someone had drawn the curtains. Who had brought her up here? Sirius? Tonks sat up, expecting a huge headache. But nothing. Tonks wondered why she didn't feel the least bit lightheaded.

Then she recalled the previous night. Her induction, the man with the scars on his face with whom she'd flirted, and how he turned out to be a werewolf. Tonks suddenly felt a large lump in her throat when she thought of that. There was a dangerous creature lurking in the house right now. One of THEM.

But then again, this one seemed different. Remus Lupin didn't seem the vicious type, like Fenrir Greyback in human form. He seemed kinder, gentler, a little quieter. He'd voted 'aye' for both she and Bill to be inducted into the Order of the Phoenix, so it wasn't like he was there on a secret mission to bite her or anything. Perhaps, maybe it was time to let go of her childhood fear?

After all, he was friends with Sirius. Werewolves didn't usually have m,any friends, did they? But, Tonks thought again. Sirius WAS a 'convicted' mass murderer, even if he WAS innocent. Sirius didn't do TOO much the help change the Wizengamot's mind, did he? What if Remus was undercover for a werewolf community that was hunting her down because she managed to slip away from Greyback?

Before thinking any more, Tonks decided to get dressed and get some breakfast…or lunch, as it was midday. It wouldn't do to worry herself into another coma before afternoon. Unwrapping the afghan that had been laid over her by whoever brought her to her room, she saw that she'd never been undressed, and she still wore her uncomfortable business robes from last night. Groaning, she made sure her door was closed (she had the feeling she was going to be keeping a close eye on that door from now on). She decided on a plain black t-shirt and a lime green peasant skirt that reached to her mid-calf. Putting on a purple choker, Tonks decided to curl her hair and make it match the skirt. She also lengthened her hair a bit more, because if she shortened it, she'd look like a lime green poodle.

Satisfied with her look, Tonks was ready to head downstairs. Leaving her room, Tonks began down the hall towards the staircase. But before she got there, she heard a rattling from inside the first door on the right. Ignoring the sign that said "_Do Not Enter without the Expressed Permission of __Regulus __Arcturus__ Black" _Tonks cautiously opened the door. Didn't Sirius mention a boggart being in here last night? Maybe she could get rid of it as a nice little 'thank you' for helping her upstairs last night? Boggarts were OWL-level problems anyways.

Making sure she had her wand with her, Tonks stepped back and summoned the boggart from under the old bed. She remembered all that she'd been taught in school having to do with boggarts. Tonks knew what was going to appear before it did, so she squinted her eyes shut and imagined someone that would make the boggart funny looking. Hopefully she could destroy it with one or two waves of her rosewood wand (dragon heartstring core).

Her eyes focused and ready for the boggart, she didn't notice the figure appearing behind her in the doorway, looking on with curious interest.

From under the bed emerged what looked like a normal human male. A little scruffy, a little scarred, nothing to be too afraid of…

…then, with a crack, the man hunched over and howled, morphing quickly into a wolf form, baring his sharp teeth and growling at Tonks. She began shaking, seeing those eyes she'd seen sixteen years ago. Taking a deep breath, Tonks pointed and waved her wand at the werewolf standing before her.

_"__Riddikulus__!"_ she yelled.

The werewolf suddenly shrank until it appeared to be a Chihuahua. Tonks forced herself to laugh as she flicked the wand again.

_"__Riddikulus__!"_

This time, the Chihuahua was now wearing a tutu, attempting, without much success, to keep its balance on top of a ball.

_"__Riddikulus__!"_

The utterly confused boggart couldn't shift into further humiliation, and it suddenly combusted. Tonks ducked as it did so, and after a moment, the werewolf was no more. Tonks sighed in satisfaction.

"Not so hard…take THAT, werewolf!" she laughed out loud. Turning proudly on her heels as she headed for the door, she suddenly came face to face with Remus, the look on his face was half-embarrassed, half-offended, and he was trying desperately to hide both halves. Tonks felt her face burn red. That was NOT the best thing to say with a werewolf standing right behind her.

"I was just coming in to check on you," Remus said. "I…I was the one who brought you up here after you passed out on the stairs."

Tonks stared at him, completely humiliated and at a loss for words. Remus could read her like a book. He didn't even need to know her that well…the look on her face said it all.

"Rem…I, uh…Mr. Lupin…er…" Tonks stuttered and stumbled over what words she had to choose from to help this awkward situation. Nothing helped. Everything was just made worse, like pouring lemon juice over a paper cut.

Remus looked at his shoes and took a moment to swallow. "How did you find out?"

Tonks bit her lip. "Sirius didn't tell me, if that's what you mean."

Remus shook his head, refusing to look her in the eye. "Of course not. I'm, I'm just going to have a little nap."

Remus flew off down the hall as if he wanted nothing more than to get away from Tonks. Tonks could not have felt more like dirt. The spark he'd had yesterday was gone, just because he knew her worst fears were inside him. Not even that. Her worst fear WAS him. But he wasn't BAD!

Tonks didn't even stop to think before briskly walking down the hall after him. "Wait! Wait a moment!"

Remus went to shut his door, but Tonks managed to stick her body in the way. Remus looked at her, clearly hurt.

"Your boggart is a werewolf. Why aren't you running for the hills?" he asked softly.

"Because I'm not six anymore! Frankly I'm still surprise that's what my boggart is still!" Tonks protested. "Can we talk? I know we just met, but seeing as we're co-workers now, I think it'll do us both some good, right?" Tonks realized at that moment she was inside a werewolf's room. And she wasn't afraid. Well, she was afraid that she'd totally made an ass of herself.

"Can this wait?" Remus asked. "I got up very early."

"No!" Tonks said. "Sir, if you knew my mother and how stubborn she was, you'll know that I am JUST like her in that way and you will not win!" Tonks spoke a mile a minute, something she often did when she was both fighting for someone's attention and a little afraid at the same time.

Remus glared at her, and then nodded. Tonks gingerly closed the door behind her and took a seat on the small, creaky bed. Remus remained standing.

"Look, the only reason I'm afraid of…of werewolves is because when I was six, I was almost attacked by one. My insane aunt sent her 'friends' to my house to kill everyone, and they sent Fenrir Greyback in his wolf form after me. If it weren't for Mad-Eye, I'd either be dead or just like you."

"Just like me?" Remus said, sounding as if the phrase was disgusting as 'filthy little mudblood."

Tonks slapped her forehead. She needed to start using her brain again. "I…I'm not the type to make generalizations, you know. I believe there can be good werewolves too."

She twiddled her thumbs nervously and looked up at Remus. "Look, I'm a terrible klutz and I'm not that much better with my words. Can we, just…start over? And be friends?" Tonks got to her feet and offered her hand out to Remus. He looked Tonks in the eye, and she felt that shivering in her feet again.

"Please say something," Tonks begged. Remus nodded.

"I'm sorry too. I guess for a thirty-five year old man, I'm not very mature, am I?" Remus asked. Tonks looked at him strangely.

"Don't apologize—"

"—I think I owe you one. I mean, I'm an adult and I still act like a baby. About lycanthropy, I mean," Remus said. Tonks' hand did not go down and remained waiting for his hand.

"It's a very sensitive topic. Who wouldn't act like a child about such a thing?" Tonks agreed.

"Fenrir Greyback," Remus answered. "He basks in his 'ability.'"

Tonks bit her lip and looked briefly at the floor. "Well, I think that just proves that you're the better man," she answered. Remus looked at her, a small smile growing on his lips.

"What do you mean?"

"To be happy about something like being a werewolf is…strange. It just proves you're more sane than you say you are!" Tonks said.

Remus nodded and smiled. "I suppose you are right."

"So, friends?" Tonks offered. She held her breath.

Remus finally grabbed her hand and shook it. "Hopefully, more than that."

Tonks stepped back as if Remus had just made a pass at her. "Excuse me?"

Remus laughed to himself at his bad choice of wording.

"I meant, seeing as we're both Order members now, we need to get close enough to look out for each other when we need it, you know? There has to be some kind of bond, or else we'd all fall apart, you get it?"

Tonks nodded eagerly. "I do." It certainly felt a little better that some of the tensions were lifting between them.

Remus sighed and paused a moment. "I'm sorry if I don't seem the most sociable of people. I'm what you'd call…heh…quite literally, a lone wolf."

Tonks nodded as she turned to go back to the door. "I guess I'll go see if I can get something to eat. I'm starved."

"Oh, Nympha—"

"—TONKS!" Tonks said, turning around with a mock-vicious look on her face. "Just Tonks, if you don't mind. Just because my mother named me that as a gesture out of jealousy and hate

"Sorry, TONKS," Remus said.

"Yes?" Tonks asked.

"About that night…when Fenrir Greyback nearly attacked you…"

Tonks bit her lip and nodded cautiously. Remus thought a moment. The memory looked about as painful for her to relive as it was for him.

"That sounds rather traumatic. I can see where you were coming from with that boggart," Remus said quickly.

Tonks smiled lightly. "Thanks." And she closed the door behind her to go downstairs.

Remus gently laid himself down on his bed and stared up at the ceiling, tucking his hands behind the back of his head. No, maybe it would be better if she didn't know that it wasn't Fenrir Greyback who nearly got her that night…

* * *

"I feel sorry for you, you know," Tonks muttered as she, Remus and Sirius sat around the now quiet kitchen table, eating porridge for supper. "You were all alone until we got here, eating this slop."

Sirius sat up and pretended to look offended. "Hey, that's a Black family recipe!" he scolded. Tonks laughed.

"So we come here to keep him company, and he feeds us poison!" Remus remarked. Tonks grinned and looked at her cousin. It had only been a day, and already she was feeling like he was her family for real.

It was getting dark outside, and the rest of the day had been fairly uneventful as far as Remus went. Tonks couldn't help but get that feeling in her cold feet every time he walked by. It was somewhat awkward when he'd caught her fingering the books in Orion Black's old study and she tripped over her own two feet. But Remus seemed to put the boggart from that morning behind him. Tonks had no idea what he was talking about. He actually seemed very mature for his age.

"Well, it's not like I can stroll down to Diagon Alley and pick up a roast, now can I?" Sirius asked. Tonks rolled her eyes and sipped at her firewhiskey.

"We need some music in this room," she complained.

"Sorry, the Blacks don't believe in music. It's too optimistic, it makes people happy, and that's against the Black Family Code of Dishonor!" Sirius said, the alcohol making him sound even more sarcastic.

Remus raised his glass in a mock toast. "It's right under the rule about lopping off House Elves' heads after they're rendered useless by old age!"

Tonks cringed.

"Back to the music," she said, quickly, raising her wand, casting a music charm. A song by her favorite band, the Weird Sisters. Remus grimaced and covered his ears in dislike.

"What IS this?!" he asked, laughing.

"The Hippogriff Hop!" Tonks shouted. Sirius' reaction seemed to differ from Remus'. He got up and quickly ran around the table, scooping Tonks in his grip and pretending to Quickstep with her, the two of them laughing drunkenly and stepping over each others' feet.

Remus got his wand out and waved it. Replacing the Hippogriff Hop was a jazzy tune that sounded like it came out of a forty's soda shoppe.

Tonks stuck out her tongue. "Talk about torture!" she moaned. Remus threw his hands up in surrender.

"Let's settle this in a humane manner," Sirius intervenes.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Talk about your hypocrite—"

"—we'll listen to one of Tonks' songs, then we'll listen to one of yours, Moony, okay?" Sirius said, ignoring Remus' smart remarks. Tonks nodded and waved her wand, reprising the Weird Sisters' Hippogriff Hop. Remus rolled his eyes skeptically, until Tonks grabbed his hands, inviting him to dance. Sirius almost pushed him right into Tonks' arms. Obviously outnumbered, Remus had no choice but to let Tonks swing him around the room. It was as if the awkward conversation a few hours ago had never happened.

Remus quickly lost his breath in the incredible rush as the world swirled around him. Tonks was laugh uncontrollably as Remus strived to keep up with her. However, he couldn't help but grin. Tonks was obviously quite the character. Before he knew it, the song ended. Tonks laughed as she collapsed into her seat. "So, what did you think, Remus?"

Remus had to catch his breath before he spoke at all. "I'll let you k now as soon as my heart begins beating again." Tonks rolled her eyes, and Sirius laughed in between swigs of firewhiskey.

"You were always the drama witch," Sirius mocked. Remus smirked after a few moments.

"We listened to your music, now, we listen to mine," Remus said, waving his wand. A slow, soft jazz tune filled the small room. Tonks pretended to fall asleep on her chair, exaggerating a snore. She didn't notice Remus has made his way over to where she sat, extending his hand.

"What?" she asked.

"Now YOU have to dance with me," he insisted.

Tonks protested. "How do you dance to a song like this without blacking out on your feet?" Tonks asked.

"I'll show you," Remus offered. Tonks took his hand and got to her feet. She felt those same chills in her feet as Remus put his hand around her waist. Tonks looked down at his feet and tried to mirror the steps they made, which formed a box. She stepped on Remus' feet several times before she felt his finger lift her chin up so their eyes could meet. There was that chill again.

"It's easier if you don't look at your feet," Remus muttered.

"That's impossible," Tonks dismissed.

Remus shook his head. "Keep your eyes up, and let me guide you," he said.

Much to Tonks' surprise, she didn't step on Remus' feet again. Remus tried to spin her around, but she banged her knee on the chair she'd just been sitting in.

"Ow!" Tonks groaned. "I knew this wasn't a good idea."

Remus grabbed her waist again. "No, no, it's fine, keep going until the song's over, and we'll be even."

Neither of them noticed Sirius smirking and quietly backing out of the room.

* * *

_**A/N: **__This time, whoever reviews my chapters gets a dance of their choice with their favorite Order of the Phoenix member! Remus likes sultry slow dancing. Sirius likes the hot, sexy samba. Tonks likes to boogie down with her bad rocker self. _


	6. Mad Eye Returns

July was off to an incredibly hot start. Not only temperature-wise, but Tonks soon found herself swept up in the whole world of the Order of the Phoenix. Each passing day and each passing meeting (they were held three times a week, always in Sirius' kitchen)Tonks longed for Mad-Eye's return. He was like a second father to her ever since he rescued her from Fenrir Greyback. He was the one who'd trained her during her Auror-training years. He had no family of his own, and Tonks had the feeling, although he never showed it, he thought of her as his daughter.

But for the first full week in July, he didn't come back. Although Dumbledore did come to many of the meetings now, it still wasn't the same. The meetings, much to the dismay of Tonks, were just as bad as the longs hours she sat in front of that desk in the Ministry of Magic's Auror Department. The would usually begin by those who had been on duty that week in their various stations giving their reports (taking about fifteen minutes each). Then, they would discuss any news of possible Death Eater or Voldemort sightings. However, oddly, no reports were being made, so those tended to be more brainstorming sessions than actual discussions. He could be hiding here, there, and everywhere. For the most part, Tonks had nothing to do but sit back and be quiet while the members who were giving reports did so.

Tonks began to feel Sirius' pain. Although she could, unlike him, go on the outside, she rarely did so. Either she was too lazy, or she was helping Sirius with keeping the house in order. Tonks noted that during these meetings, while Sirius was verbal enough, he seemed to have just as much value to the Order as she did: second to none. She would've killed to go on a weekly mission. They weren't so bad sounding. One was to keep themselves close guard on Harry Potter's summer home. Another position was at Hogsmeade, another in the Department of Mysteries in the Ministry. However, her wish was yet to be granted. Usually if her name was brought up for an on-scene duty, she would perk up, Snape would mention how she was still a rookie, and the idea would be dismissed.

One night after a meeting, after being let down again in favor of Dedalus Diggle going to Hogsmeade for a week, Tonks couldn't stand it anymore. She approached Remus with this once most everyone had left. Dumbledore had decided to stay awhile and was washing up in the bathroom at the moment. Sirius was in his room with Buckbeak. Tonks was pacing the length of the kitchen with Remus watching.

"I haven't even been of any use to the Order yet! Why was I inducted if I was just meant to SIT here and listen to Emmeline Vance talk about her week at the damn Ministry!" Tonks said.

Remus looked amused watching Tonks' fit. He leaned against the door, his arms crossed, watching her studiously.

"I AM an Auror! If I wanted to, I could hurl myself at a pile of Death Eaters and blast every one of them into oblivion!" Tonks raged. "But that accursed Professor Snape! No wonder he doesn't have a girl! Who would WANT to see that scrawny little greasy git naked in bed? I'd have poked my eyes out!"

Remus snorted, trying to hold back a laugh. "The man's rough, I know. But he IS on our side in the whole. Dumbledore swears it every time someone holds a doubt, and that happens a LOT."

Tonks groaned and nodded her head twice. "I can see why!"

Remus took a calm, deep breath. "Would you like ME to talk directly to Dumbledore about this?"

Tonks stopped dead in her tracks. She looked at Remus (and got the cold feet again for a moment. Yes, after two full weeks, that sensation still followed her around every time they were in the same room) and raised an eyebrow.

"Without Snape?"

"Just the three of us if you'd like. I agree. Bill's gone on his first bit of duty, you should too soon."

"And it's not even like we go alone! We go in pairs!" Tonks emphasized.

Remus nodded. That was when Dumbledore came back into the room.

"I must say, Molly Weasley finally got me with that lemon tart tonight. Splendid cook," he said satisfactorily, rubbing his stomach. Tonks gestured to Remus, who stepped forward.

"Sir—"

"—Miss Tonks wants to know if she'll be getting some time on active duty soon, I expect. She's been sitting so quietly and patiently these past two weeks," Dumbledore said. Remus and Tonks exchanged surprised glances. Was Dumbledore reading their minds or what?

"Every time I try to volunteer, Snape keeps getting in the way," Tonks spoke for herself.

Dumbledore nodded. "Indeed, he does. He's just worried about the welfare of the Order. But he does tend to get a little too carried away sometimes. I suspect it is because you weren't exactly the most behaved of pupils," he said, looking at Tonks from over the tops of his half-moon glasses. Tonks blushed slightly.

"Guilty as charged, sir," Tonks confessed.

"But sir, if you just gave her a chance," Remus defended. "Maybe a little experience could help her along?"

Dumbledore nodded. "No need to be her lawyer, Remus. I'm sure Miss Tonks can speak for herself. However, I don't see the need for her to speak up at all, seeing as I intend to station her in front of 4 Privet Drive starting tomorrow evening under Mad-Eye's old Invisible Tent, until the end of the week at sundown."

Tonks couldn't believe her ears. She was finally getting her chance to prove herself!

"And, Remus, I'm sure you would be glad to be her partner? Not even Kingsley goes on duty alone, especially nowadays," Dumbledore suggested. Remus smiled.

"I will," Remus replied. Tonks grinned. Her hair turned a vivid shade of pink. Dumbledore smiled warmly at her.

"I always liked that color on you," he said. "But it looks better when your hair is shorter. When it's longer like that, it's better in the sky blue, I think."

Tonks shortened her hair, and Dumbledore nodded in approval. "That's better."

Tonks could hardly contain herself. Her first mission! Tomorrow night!

Dumbledore turned towards the door. "Now, I shall be taking my leave until the next meeting, where I expect a full report from the two of you, understand?"

"Of course," Tonks and Remus replied in unison.

Dumbledore winked. "Have fun!" And with that last farewell, he Disapparated.

Tonks finally allowed herself to utter an excited squeal. It was as if it had welled up inside her, and if she didn't release it, it would have caused her to explode! She finally had an adventure! What was better, it was with someone she was familiar with! Looking at Remus, Tonks sighed. Remus would take good care of her, she was sure.

Without even pausing to say good night to her new partner, Tonks rushed upstairs to pack an overnight bag.

* * *

Tonks got a total of an hour of sleep that night. And really, who could blame her?

She got up at the crack of dawn and made sure she'd packed enough, while not over packing. She had five days of duty. She brought a few sets of clothes, a hairbrush, a hand mirror she'd found in Sirius' room (he wouldn't mind if she took it), and a few other odds and ends she would need. A small Sneakoscope, just in case, and her Comet Two-Sixty, in case a speedy getaway was needed. She was somewhat shocked to find out Remus didn't have a broom.

"Well, I'm fairly poor off, so how could I afford one?" Remus asked.

"But you're not a bad rider?" Tonks asked back. Remus shook his head. They were both in the kitchen, getting themselves a spot of breakfast. Their shift didn't start until that evening, so they had a whole day to kill. Sirius was sleeping in late.

"My reflexes aren't what they used to be, of course. But I can still dart around a bit on a broom if I had to get away from a renegade Death Eater," Remus confirmed. Tonks nodded.

"What if we need to? Get away quick, I mean?" Tonks asked, petting her old, yet still dependable broom.

"There's always Apparation, Dora," Remus said.

Tonks gritted her teeth. "Don't CALL me Nymphadora!" she hollered. "How many TIMES must I—"

"—I DIDN'T call you 'Nymphadora.' I said 'Dora'!" Remus said, laughing at his cute little joke. Tonks didn't seem as amused.

"Only my father gets away with calling me that," Tonks warned.

"Why? I think it's sweet," Remus said. Tonks groaned.

"Again, I say, only my father can get away with calling me Dora!" Tonks said, whipping out her wand and saying, "Now I have to hex you!"

Remus got out his wand, but before any move could be made to protect himself, Tonks shouted, "_Rancido__ papillae_!"

Remus didn't feel anything hit him. Tonks looked anxious, seeing if her jinx had worked. Remus had certainly never heard that incantation before.

Suddenly, a terrible taste had filled his mouth. It was like rotten meat mixed with old socks, and it was intense, sour, disgusting. Remus gave a yelp. Tonks grinned and put her wand away. Remus scrambled to get a glass of water. But the water he poured down his throat just tasted like rancid milk. He gave a grunt of disgust and pointed frantically to his tongue.

"A little invention of mine," Tonks said proudly. "Made it my sixth year. The Nasty-Mouth Hex!" Remus rolled his eyes. Tonks raised an eyebrow. "Now, what's my name?"

Remus was silent. He couldn't speak. He indicated so by pointing to his tongue. Tonks flicked her wand, and the curse was lifted. His mouth suddenly felt like there was nothing in it, and it actually came as a relief. "Thanks," he said. "Tonks."

Tonks nodded in approval. Remus sighed.

"You know, I will need to get you back for that someday," he said. Tonks shook her head.

"Sure you will," Tonks said. "I have others."

"Oh joy," Remus groaned sarcastically. He then looked at her for a moment with admiration. "That's a clever little jinx you've got there. My old friends from school could've made good use of that at times."

Tonks sighed. "Sirius and you?"

"There were a few others," Remus said. Tonks nodded.

The sound of someone Apparating onto the top step of 12 Grimmauld Place rang throughout the kitchen. Tonks looked oddly at Remus. "Who could that be?"

"I invited someone over to see us off," Remus said, a sly smile on his face. "Thought you'd like a moment alone with—"

But Tonks was already beaming, hearing the familiar uneven stride of a fake leg and a cane bumping up and down the hall towards them. Remus sighed satisfactorily to himself.

Tonks brushed past him to go out into the hall, and sure enough, her suspicions were confirmed when she saw Mad-Eye Moody coming towards her, holding a small packet in his hand. He didn't smile, but he still looked pleased seeing his old protégé running at him eagerly like a daughter greeting her father after a long day at work.

"Mad-Eye!" Tonks said, jumping into his arm. Mad-Eye allowed her to hug him a moment before wriggling out of her grip. He handed the package to Remus, who examined it.

"Your Invisible Tent," he confirmed. "I assume you'll switch off every other night?"

"Huh?" asked Tonks, looking to Remus for an explaination.

"Well, when one of us is sleeping, one of us will be pacing up and down the street," Remus said. Tonks nodded.

"Your first mission," Mad-Eye said. "Remember, Nymphadora, constant vigilance!"

Tonks groaned, but didn't say anything. Remus wondered why she bothered to correct his 'Dora' but not Mad-Eye's 'Nymphadora.'

"It is the duty that can make or break a young Auror in this world," Mad-Eye continued. He looked to Remus. "You'd better look after her and make sure she doesn't get into any trouble!"

Remus chuckled. "I will take good care of her, Alastor," he vowed. Mad-Eye nodded.

"Got any butterbeer lying around?" he asked. Remus looked at him oddly.

"It's not even noon!" he protested.

"Try spending nine months in a trunk wondering what the hell was going on or where you were!" Mad-Eye retorted. Tonks turned to Remus.

"He's got you there!" Tonks said. Remus went back to the kitchen without another word to get Mad-Eye's drink. Tonks noticed Mad-Eye looking after him as he left the hallway.

"What is it?" Tonks asked.

"Just ironic, I think," Mad-Eye muttered to himself.

"What? What is ironic?" Tonks asked.

Mad-Eye quickly shook his head. "Nothing. Nothing for you to know right now."

"Let's go into the kitchen, so we can catch up," Tonks said, guiding Mad-Eye into the kitchen (although it was clear Mad-Eye could no doubt get himself situated).

"So, you and Bill are the newest recruits, eh?" Mad-Eye mentioned when Remus gave him his glass of butterbeer.

"Yes,' Tonks said, grabbing a second cup of coffee and sitting next to Mad-Eye. Remus sat across from Mad-Eye, and Tonks realized for the first time since meeting Remus, her feet weren't cold. Maybe it had something to do with Mad-Eye being in the room? Whatever it was, Tonks didn't think it mattered right now. Mad-Eye was back, and her first ever mission was only nine hours away!

* * *

_**A/N: **__To those who review this chapter goes __a special snack along with their favorite Order of the Phoenix member! __Remus has the cheese, crackers, and wine all ready.__ Tonks will satisfy your sweet-tooth with a whole plate full of Chocolate Frogs and Fizzing __Whizbees__. Mad-Eye has a fruit plate and chocolate fondue fountain and lots of wild Auror stories to tell. And Sirius comes with…whipped cream. Enough said! _


	7. First Hour

Tonks had expected the day to go by extremely slowly before her first mission began. But with Mad-Eye there to see her and Remus off, things, to her surprise, zoomed by. Tonks loved having him back. Mad-Eye had said that he didn't take Tonks on as his protégée for nothing, and he expected her to have been voted into the Order unanimously, like she had.

"But what about Snape's vote?" Tonks had asked when Mad-Eye mentioned this.

"Ah, Severus. He wouldn't vote Dumbledore into the Order, so I say he doesn't count," Mad-Eye had answered.

Mad-Eye took his leave around four that afternoon, and an hour before sunset, Tonks and Remus made their way over to Privet Drive. Without any of the Muggles living on this street seeing them, Remus pitched the Invisible Tent and set it where no one would accidentally bump into it: on top of the roof of Arabella Figg's house. The tent was, indeed, invisible.

"We'll have to Disillusion ourselves while changing turns," Remus explained. "None of the Muggles would fancy seeing someone climbing up onto a roof, then disappearing into thin air!"

Once the tent was pitched, Remus offered to walk the street for the first hour while Tonks got settled in. The tent was smaller than the one she and her father used to go camping in, but it still had a small kitchenette, a bathroom and tiny shower stall, a small sitting room, and a two-tiered bunk bed. Tonks claimed the top immediately upon entering it. Remus scowled, claiming he'd wanted it. Tonks playfully stuck her tongue out and flopped herself up onto the bunk.

"We'll do two-hour shifts throughout the day, and then alternate every other night," Remus instructed before going out to pace up and down Harry Potter's block. There was a small window overlooking number four, so Tonks kept taking glimpses, hoping to get a peek at The Boy Who Lived.

After Remus was down on the street, Tonks decided to make herself a cup of tea. Remus had said she was welcome to the bag of food he'd brought, so she dug through to see if he had any tea bags or cups.

The bag was fairly large, and Tonks was somewhat surprised to see that Remus had not packed any tea, or even any cups or mugs for tea or coffee. Most of the food Remus had packed were leftovers of Molly's various stews and mince pies, all under Warming Charms so they wouldn't turn cold or old. How could he forget the tea? Frustrated, Tonks wondered if she would have to bother Arabella Figg for it. She did have the option of Apparating back to Grimmauld Place for it, but then again, how would that look, abandoning her post and her partner on her very first night out for something as trifle as a tea bag?

Tonks moved a small fruitcake aside and came upon something she'd never seen before.

In a large tightly-sealed goblet was some sort of bubbling fluid (even though there was nothing to heat it in order to make it boil). It was midnight blue. Tonks moved the goblet only to discover two more goblets with the same strange substance within. On the side of each goblet was a round symbol. The first goblet's symbol was slightly cut off on the left. The next one's cut was less, and the third one was perfectly full.

Tonks' feet suddenly felt that ominous chill they'd felt every time she'd come in contact with Remus the past fortnight. It was then she immediately ran back to her bunk, where her diary laid under her pillow. Tonks flipped through to the very end, where a small yearly calendar with moon phase dates lied. Tonks counted the days from that day to the end of the week.

The full moon was Thursday. Three days away, and smack dab in the middle of duty. Tonks had the feeling the substance was Wolfsbane Potion.

Although he obviously cared enough for her safety to pack his medicine and take it with him so he wouldn't harm her, and although Tonks had promised herself that her fear of werewolves was childish and that Remus Lupin was not a bad person, she felt her insides lurch forward, and Tonks felt ready to wretch. She's be sharing a tent with a werewolf not unlike the one who'd nearly done her in sixteen years ago. This time, Mad-Eye wouldn't be there to save her, either.

Tonks felt even sicker by the minute. She couldn't take it anymore. She quickly left the tent and made her way in Arabella Figg's house, without even bothering to Disillusion herself. A small neighbor girl had pointed at her as she climbed down the trellis, but her father, who was reading a newspaper from his lawn chair, failed to acknowledge the girl's cries.

The first thing Tonks noticed when she stepped inside Arabella's house was the strong, cabbage-like smell. The next thing she noticed was the swarm of cats that suddenly charged at her. Tonks, still in quite a panicking state, tried to step over the cats. One ginger-haired cat took a particular liking to Tonks, and began clawing at the hem of her robes playfully. Tonks tried hard to ignore him.

"Mrs. Figg?" Tonks called out. "Mrs. Figg? Are you home?"

Tonks wandered into the kitchen, where a little old woman sat with a half-eaten corn muffin on a plate. A cat sat on the other end of the small table, enjoying a small plate of tuna. She looked up and smiled.

"I don't recognize you, new member?" she asked.

Tonks nodded and held out her hand unsteadily. "Tonks, Mrs. Figg. I was inducted two weeks ago with Bill Weasley," she quickly and awkwardly introduced herself as. Mrs. Figg gently took her hand and shook it.

"Would you like a corn muffin, dearie?" Mrs. Figg asked. Tonks shook her head. She'd suddenly lost her appetite and only wanted tea.

"Do you have any tea?" Tonsk asked.

"You look white as a ghost, dearie," Mrs. Figg said. "Sit, all I have is Earl Grey, I'm afraid."

"That will do," Tonks said. "Thanks."

"What's the problem? Overwhelmed on your first round of duty with the Order already?" Mrs. Figg asked, getting up from her seat to put on a spot of tea.

"Not really. Remus is still patrolling the street. But he's going to transform this week, and I'm afraid!" Tonks blurted out, suddenly surprised at her own bluntness.

Mrs. Figg looked a bit confused. "Remus?"

"Lupin, the werewolf," Tonks answered quickly. Mrs. Figg thought for a moment, as if digging for some repressed memory to bring back to the surface. She suddenly had her revelation and nodded understandingly.

"Oh yes. Charming man, very sad about him," Mrs. Figg said. "You're afraid of him? He knows how to make himself safe, dearie."

Tonks shook her head. "It doesn't matter. I shouldn't be scared, but I am, and I can't really help it. He's such a nice man, too. It makes me feel judgemental."

Mrs. Figg nodded. "Why are you so afraid? He brought his medicines along, didn't he?"

Tonks hated going through the story of how Fenrir Greyback nearly attacked her all those years ago. She was beginning to think it would be easier if she just wrote a book about it and asked everyone who inquired to her fears to reward it and be educated in that way. But she did so for Mrs. Figg anyways as she made the tea, regardless of her annoyance.

The evening was growing darker, and Tonks knew that within a half hour, Remus would return, take his potion, then tell Tonks it was her turn to pace up and down the street. By the time Tonks finished her story, her tea was almost gone, and the first hour was almost done.

Mrs. Figg sighed. "Well, dearie, while it sounds like you don't have much of a choice in the matter, I'd say, knowing Remus Lupin anyways, you have nothing to fear, and your Order duty to fulfill first and foremost."

Tonks thought a moment. A bit ago, she couldn't recall who Remus was, so how did she suddenly know him so well?

She decided to let this little factoid slide for the time being.

"But what do I do on Thursday night?" Tonks asked somewhat frantically. Mrs. Figg shrugged.

"He took his potion. What else can he do? He will be safe. Like a big dog sleeping at your feet, I suppose," Mrs. Figg suggested.

Out of the corner of her eye, Tonks saw something moving in the doorway to the kitchen. Tonks looked up to see Remus standing there, looking awkwardly on the scene.

"I forgot to bring tea," Remus said. "I was going to ask if you had some, Arabella, but I see you do. Nympha—"

Tonks growled under her breath.

"Tonks," Remus sighed exasperatedly. "You can go out on the street now, just be sure you don't come in direct contact with Harry Potter."

Tonks got to her feet and shook her head. "Can I ask you something first?"

Remus swallowed. "I already know what you are going to ask. I saw your notebook calendar lying on your bed, and you also saw the Wolfsbane Potions. I am going to transform this Thursday."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was thinking it would alarm you," Remus said. "I couldn't scare you off on your first night."

"But—"

"—but I assure you, the potions will make sure I am of no harm to you. You'll be out all night that night anyways, so you won't even have to see me transform," he promised. "And neither would you want too. Watching a werewolf change is a terrible thing to witness. You will be safe."

Tonks stared at him angrily. She couldn't explain why, but whereas her feet usually went cold at the sight of him, they were burning hot this time.

"I'm not a baby, Remus," she spat out. "Glad to know you think I'm still afraid of you."

Tonks could not believe what she'd just said. She WAS still afraid of him. What was she saying? Shut up, she told herself. Shut UP! But she couldn't. Her anger was too overpowering.

"Tonks, listen," Remus began. Tonks shook her head and turned stubbornly to Mrs. Figg.

"Thank you for the tea, I'll be out all night and I'll stop in for a brief moment later for another spot if you don't mind."

Mrs. Figg shook her head. "Of course not. It's hard for me to sleep in this humid weather, so stop in any time."

Tonks ignored Remus as she stepped out the back door and went around the house to the street to begin her first round.

Mrs. Figg smiled up at Remus. "High strung little thing, isn't she? Very animated," she noted.

Remus smiled to himself. "That's what I love so much about her," he answered back.

* * *

Tonks' fury died down as she paced up and down the street where Harry Potter lived. Tonks, having grown up on legends of how the little infant Potter survived the Death Curse of the darkest wizard of the age, had expected so much more from the territory he'd called home. But this really looked like a place her mother would've liked to retire to. Very few interesting characters walked the street. Many of the men hosing down their cars, or the women taking advantage of the slightly cooler evening to garden actually stared at her as if she were a circus act. Well, maybe the electric blue hair WAS a bit much, but in London, Muggles usually saw her as what some called "a renegade teenage hoodlum." Granted she wasn't a teenager, but she wasn't about to argue back if she looked slightly younger than she was anyways.

Nearing the end of the street at one point, Tonks bumped into a group of five or so boys, all of them big and dumpy. One had a rat face, another was so enormously fat that Tonks could have climbed inside his body and had room left over for a few spare sets of clothing. This big one looked to be the ringleader. He stared at Tonks as she passed by.

"What's a fine lady like yourself walking all alone in this dull old town?" he asked, obviously trying very hard (and without much success at that) to sound seductive. The rat-faced boy to his right nudged him, thinking he was sly.

Tonks rolled her eyes and tried to ignore him, spinning on her heel and walking back down the road in the opposite direction.

"Hey, Dudley, how's about tapping that ass?" whispered the rat-faced boy behind her back, though not quietly enough so that Tonks didn't hear it.

"Pigs," she muttered.

The boys continued to mutter, thinking they were such sly dogs doing so.

"She's dressed way to weirdly for me," said one.

"No, that means she's out of her parents' house. That's sexy!" said another.

"It means she's in college and can buy us beers!"

"I think Big D should make the pass," suggested the rat-faced boy again.

Tonks rolled her eyes, attempting to suppress her desire to give each one of those jerky teenage boys a pig's tail. She knew she'd be I trouble using magic in front of Muggles. But maybe if she just took her wand out, she'd look crazy enough to scare the boys off…

Tonks quickly whipped her wand out and pointed it at 'Big D.' The four other boys took one look at her and immediately bust a gut (or, in a few of the boys' cases…at least **two** guts) laughing. The ringleader…the 'Big D' of the group, however, suddenly looked horrified. Tonks eyed him suspiciously.

He knew something. He knew this wasn't some tree branch she was waving at him. Was he a Squib?

"Come on," 'Big D' said to the rest of his gang. "This one's…this one's a loony. Not worth it. So let's go see if little Davy Brown's ready for the pummeling we owe him."

After a moment, the four other boys stopped laughing, and they turned and ducked around the street corner, expect 'Big D' who glared at Tonks, half afraid, half suspicious, before turning his back to her.

Tonks smiled smugly as they went out of her sight, and she sheathed her wand back into her back pocket. Looking at the front lawn of 8 Privet Drive, a middle-aged man who was busy mowing his lawn was staring at her with an odd look on his face. Did she just threaten those boys with a STICK?

Tonks rolled her eyes and strolled on down towards 4 Privet Drive again. She may have been in a foul mood, but not even a pissy attitude could ruin this, her first real night of being a member of the Order of the Phoenix.

* * *

_**A/N: **__To all those who review this chapter goes a midnight flight with their favorite Order of the Phoenix member! Remus has two thestrals waiting to fly over the bright lights of downtown London. Tonks had two broomsticks ready for a daring and thrilling night weaving through the tropical __Amzonian__ jungles. Sirius has one very fast __Firebolt__ broomstick, and intends to take you around the whole world in 80 minutes! __And I've had a few requests for __Snape__. Well, we all know that __Snape__ can fly without a broom, and he will spend the night with you teaching you how to fly sans broom stick…just like he can. _


	8. Spies and Secret Feelings

Much to Tonks' dismay, duty was extremely boring. It literally was pacing up and down the road in front of Harry Potter's home. Up and down the street, watching the Muggles wonder why the hell she was just walking back and forwards. It was like that all through the night, and then into the morning the next day. No news was emerging, nothing exciting going on whatsoever. Tonks had a lot on her mind, however. Remus, mostly. In two nights, he'd be transforming into his wolf self. Granted, he would still be Remus Lupin in his mind, but he'd still be a WOLF!

On the other side, Tonks felt increasingly guilty as the night went on. She'd been a little hard on Remus back there in Mrs. Figg's house. He was only trying to make her feel better on her first tour of duty. Tonks resolved to ask for his apology when she went back to the Invisible Tent to switch off.

The more Tonks thought about it, the more she came to see herself in the wrong and Remus in the right. He was very protective, and very kind, particularly towards her. He had a nice smile, despite the rest of his face looking like he'd snogged with a cheese grater. He'd looked out for her when it came to asking for some on-scene action (or lack thereof) from Dumbledore, and he'd jumped to her defense when Snape was on the attack. Tonks had asked Sirius why he'd seemed to be looking after her so much. At first, Sirius hesitated, but then he said that in school, he'd been a lot like her (surprising Tonks), and he knew where she came from in that respect. Tonks still had the feeling he was hiding some little tidbit, but she decided to be content with what he gave her.

Tonks smiled and looked over at the rising sun on the eastern horizon. She could go wake Remus at any time and tell him it was time to switch off. She decided to wait a little while longer. Hopefully, Remus would be up to a few extra hours, so she could grab forty winks before taking the noon-to-dinner shift.

Looking over at 4 Privet Drive, Tonks felt her heart skip a beat as the door opened. Would she finally get to see a glimpse of the famous Harry Potter? The boy she'd heard every single story about ever since she was of Hogwarts age?

Tonks' shoulders dropped as only three people emerged from the house before shutting the door behind them. One of the two men was exceedingly fat, with almost no neck. The woman was skinny, blonde, and looked like she could've donated half her neck to her husband and still had some left over. The third was the Big D of last night. He took a quick look at her, blushed, and quickly looked away. Tonks squinted threateningly. Big D's father took a quick look up at her as she glared back at him bravely.

"What are you staring at?" the man sneered. Tonks gripped her wand tightly at her side. These were Harry's nasty aunt and uncle, apparently.

The scrawny wife looked at Tonks' wand before she looked at Tonks herself. Her look was a cross between snobbery and an odd sense of curiosity.

"Juvenile riff raff making ghettos out of our respectable suburban streets," muttered the porkish man. Tonks decided to ignore him.

"Daddy! I want to get to the pancake breakfast!" whined Big D. Tonks decided to keep going. Wherever they were off to for breakfast, they weren't taking Harry with them.

After another hour, Tonks began to realize just how tired out she was after a whole night on her feet, and she finally opted to get herself back up to the tent. She did so as quietly as possible, for it was still only seven in the morning, and Remus was probably asleep. After her outburst last night, the least she could have done was to NOT startle him awake. She definitely owed him some sort of apology.

After slowly sneaking into the tent, the sudden smell of fresh hot coffee filled Tonks' nostrils. The delectable scent lured her over to the kitchen. As it turned out, Remus was awake, and making her a cup of coffee, no less.

Tonks blushed and felt angry with herself. Did he feel the need to apologize to HER? When Tonks looked up, indeed, Remus was at the counter, pouring a mug of coffee. Tonks couldn't help but notice how Remus was wearing a rather loose robe. He wore nothing underneath it. Tonks wondered if he knew he wasn't appearing to be wearing any pajamas underneath his loose robe. He certainly DID have a lot of scarring that looked like it was only beginning to heal. Too bad they would just be reopened in two nights' time.

Remus turned around and smiled and looked her over. "I was wondering when you'd be back. Mrs. Figg said you never stopped by last night, and I was thinking you had your hands full."

Tonks was quiet for a moment. Did he not remember what had happened last night? She certainly had to admire his ability to forget bad running-ins quickly. Or maybe he just slept very well.

"Not much. A few Muggle boys tried to flirt with me, but I told them off," Tonks said wearily.

Remus looked mildly amused.

"Remus, you really don't have to make me anything before you go out," Tonks said after a moment's pause as Remus laid the mug in front of her at the small table.

"Why not?"

Tonks bit her lip, praying that for once, the right words would come to her, and she wouldn't just ramble on.

"Because I owe you an apology for last night. I was very harsh for words, and you were only trying to make me comfortable with my first mission," Tonks said. "I feel really bad for yelling at you. Besides, it's not like you can help the fact that you're going to transform in two days."

Remus looked at her blankly. "I'm sorry," Tonks continued. "Please, making me breakfast will only make me feel worse about it."

"I was wrong too," Remus began, but Tonks shook her head quickly.

"Don't put me on a pedestal and make me sound like the right one," she begged. "You are right, and your intentions were good. Please, let's just leave it at that."

Remus nodded. "Fair enough, I accept."

Tonks smiled and sat down to sip at her coffee. "Will you go away for your transformation? In a Muggle area will not be the best of places, even in an Invisible Tent."

Remus nodded. "I'm going to go back to Grimmauld Place, and Emmeline will replace me here with you so you won't have to stay on the street all day and night."

"Grimmauld Place?" Tonks asked, confused. She expected him to say something along the lines of a forest or wooded area.

As if Remus could read her mind, he answered before she could ask. "Sirius knows how to handle me. And I won't be a danger to him. I'll just be locked up in my room and sleep the night away."

Tonks sighed. "I want to come with you, to see if you're alright."

Remus shook his head. "Even with the Wolfsbane Potion, it's not a pretty sight to see a werewolf transform into their wolf form. It's painful, agonizing, actually—" Remus winced and paused a moment, and Tonks felt bad again for prying. It was obviously not something Remus liked to talk about or endure. "—and when it's a friend, it can be emotionally distressing for whoever is witnessing it."

"What about Sirius?" asked Tonks. "You said he stays with you."

"Sirius has seen me transform so many times, he is used to it," Remus replied.

"What about your duty to the Order?" Remus asked. Tonks sank back in her seat. Oh yeah right. Her duty. "It will look bad if you abandon your post on your first week. Your oath to the Order is far more important than seeing if I'm okay."

Tonks nodded and agreed in surrender. Remus smiled and put a hand on her shoulder. Tonks felt the chills in her feet again. She looked up at Remus. Now she couldn't help but stare at his bare chest. Scarred, yes, But her female eyes just couldn't stay away from him. For as lanky as he was, he had a few lumps of muscle on him, and Tonks was impressed.

"I guess it's my turn. I'll let you get some sleep," he said, before quickly going into the bathroom to change out of his rather revealing robe.

Tonks quickly sipped her coffee and got into bed fully clothed before Remus even got out of the bathroom to start his morning duty. She turned towards the wall, but kept her eyes open as she thought.

How could Remus possibly be so forgiving? How could he be so nice to her after all she'd put him through already? Fainting at learning of his lycanthropy, yelling at him when she found out that he

was hiding his next scheduled transformation from her, and all the drama in between. Yet, he still felt the need to defend her against Snape, and have coffee waiting for her when she came in from duty.

Tonks sighed. If only the world made other men like him. Younger men, men who'd be interested in her romantically. Remus would make the perfect mate. He wasn't a jerk, he was such an honorable man, and obviously a brave one. It was clear he was noble, and obviously a respecter of women. But Remus was too old to take interest in her. He was only being nice.

Tonks bit her lip. No, she couldn't let it happen to her again. The time was terrible for her to get a crush on anyone, let alone a fellow Order member. She could admire him. What did love have anything to do with it?

And where did the word _love_ come from, anyways?

Tonks decided her mind was just as exhausted as the rest of her was, and she let herself black out before another thought popped up.

* * *

By the end of the week, and the end of Tonks' first mission, the full moon came and went. Emmeline replaced Remus' place as Tonks' partner. Emmeline was a very strict witch, and very professional when it came to work for the Order of the Phoenix. Therefore, she was not one to talk casually while switching shifts, like Remus, and so Tonks felt herself getting more and more bored, and so she went out for duty more and more. On the night of Remus' due transformation into his wolf form, as Tonks walked along Privet Drive, she couldn't help but look up at the full moon and worry about Remus. How painful was a transformation? Was it like being ripped out of your skin? Was it humiliating as well as painful? How long did Remus have the infection? 

Biting her lip, Tonks couldn't believe herself. She had the sneaky suspicion she was falling for him against her will. Tonks had hoped she would be distracted from these thoughts as the week drew on. But no, as the week went on, she grew grow more and more concerned for Remus. Tonks had also hoped that she was past this teenage-like habit of crushing on every man who paid attention to her. It was ridiculous. Remus was way too old for her. The man was thirteen years old when she was born, for Merlin's sake!

What exactly drew her to him anyways? Tonks thought deeply about this in the middle of the day on her last day of duty (she would be relieved by Kingsley and Diggle at sundown). He wasn't the most attractive man. But then again, Tonks already knew WHAT it was she loved him for.

…ugh, AGAIN with that ridiculous word _love_!

Tonks didn't LOVE Remus Lupin. No, she couldn't. She wouldn't. She shouldn't. It was unprofessional, and besides, Remus could never love her back. Not in that way, even if she DID love him! Tonks decided that this feeling would pass, like all those boys at Hogwarts she'd had crushes on. She'd

been out on dates with a few of them, and she'd even kissed a few, but none of them lasted in her head, and neither would this one.

Besides, there were more important things to worry about.

For instance, when Emmeline came running after Tonks on the street at four that afternoon, yelling rather uncontrollably, "Fudge is denying it all! He says Dumbledore and Potter are liars!"

* * *

Emmeline and Tonks were quickly called back to headquarters as soon as the first _Daily Prophet_ headline came out. Dumbledore was not at the meeting himself, but everyone else was. This was somewhat of a crisis. The fact of the matter was, the Minister of Magic was putting it out there that Voldemort had not returned, and that Cedric Diggory had, in fact, died of a Devil's Snare accident like Andromeda had mentioned. The papers were also condemning Harry Potter for being as bad as Dumbledore. This was not good, as it would give Voldemort an edge. If no one believed he was back, then he could easily recruit, steal, and kill without even being suspected! 

Sirius was at the emergency meeting, sitting at the head of the table for the first time since Tonks had met him. Remus, however, was not at the meeting. Sirius told her he was still recovering from his transformation.

Tonks and Emmeline were reprieved from giving their duty report because of this latest outbreak. Instead, Kingsley and Mad Eye were leading a discussion on how to keep the Ministry safe from possible Imperiused members and Death Eaters, who clearly would try to infiltrate and take over. They concluded that their Auror members, themselves and Tonks, would have to because spies in the Ministry.

Tonks felt a shiver go down her spine. A spy? Spies got sent to Azkaban when they were caught. The sentence was at least thirty years if any one of them were caught, even if Kingsley WAS head of the Auror department, and Mad Eye was a respected member. Tonks, being a somewhat new Auror, would get a much heavier sentence if she was caught. What a dangerous mission! Tonks took a deep breath. She knew there had to be some risk coming with her induction into the Order.

"Nymphadora Tonks, are you willing to put yourself in danger for the Order?" Kingsley asked. Tonks brought herself out of her mini-trance and stared blankly. "You won't be alone. Mad Eye and I will be there with you, and if one of us gets caught, we all will be together."

Tonks knew she needed to suck it up and agree. "Yes, I am ready."

Kingsley nodded. Mad Eye grunted with approval (Tonks knew his grunts and groans and their meanings. Mad Eye never smiled).

So, here it was. Tonks' first dangerous contribution to the Order. She was now a double-standard of an Auror. She worked for the Ministry, yet was secretly against it. Her mother would have never approved in a hundred thousand years. Even Sirius looked a little concerned for her. She was twenty-two, after all. Still very young.

Looking up the stairs, she wondered if Remus was up there, and what he would have to say about the whole ordeal. While Snape discussed precautions the school could take without the needed Ministry Seal of Approval, Tonks slipped out of the room as quietly as she could.

* * *

_**A/N: **__All those who review this chapter get a night camping out in nature with their favorite Order member! Remus likes counting stars from the top of a huge cliff on a warm night. Tonks' favorite spot is by a large, wonderful waterfall. Snape has a motor bike, believe it or not, and he loves seeing what it can do over the sandy and rocky terrains of the deserts. Sirius likes lying side by side near an open fire in the middle of the woods in a single sleeping bag. Naked. _


	9. Shall We Fly?

After sneaking out of the Auror meeting, Tonks suddenly felt woozy. It was all surreal to her still. Her time had come. She was about to do something illegal, something that, historically, had condemned people to the Dementor's Kiss. Espionage. And considering how Dumbledore wasn't so popular with the Ministry anymore, Tonks had a feeling if she wasn't stealthy and smooth like Kingsley, she'd be screwed over royally.

Great. She was seriously fucked now.

Feeling ready to wretch at a moment's notice, Tonks debated on whether to skip over Remus' bedroom and head for the toilet instead. But after a moment of deep breathing (and a bit of Mad Eye's 'constant vigilance') Tonks passed by the bathroom and headed for Remus' bedroom. The door was slightly ajar. Tonks peeked inside. Remus was propped up in bed, looking terribly sick, reading an old book that looked like a history book on Quidditch. Tonks, who by now was learning to ignore the chill she always got in her feet when she saw him, sighed and gently pushed the door open.

Remus looked up from his book and smiled lightly upon seeing her. But his smile did not last very long. As soon as he realized Tonks had something on her mind, his look changed to one of concern.

"Just wanted to see how you're feeling…" Tonks said airly.

"Nymphadora," said Remus, not bothering to wait for Tonks to correct him, "you look ill, and your hair is brown," he noted. "Are you sick?"

Tonks bit her lip and decided to not start wailing like a baby. She came here to check up on Remus, not to mope about her own worries.

"Is the meeting downstairs over? Sirius managed to tell me a bit about the trouble—"

"—how are YOU feeling?" Tonks interrupted. "I want to know how you are doing."

Remus shrugged and sighed. "Nothing to worry about. Another thing about transformations…they're exhausting. Usually within two or three days I'm recovered enough to go about my business again. Until then, I rest as much as I can."

Tonks nodded.

"Now you," Remus insisted. "It must be important, seeing as you got summoned from duty before sunset."

Tonks knew she would have to tell him eventually, but she still didn't want to look like an infant in front of him. Looking at the concerned look on Remus' face. Tonks fought back the urge to get up and run out of the room. He'd been through so much in his life, and she was ready to complain about her new assignment to him like a patient to a therapist. She sat on the edge of the bed and Remus dog-eared a page in his book and set it aside.

"I…I…have duties elsewhere in the Order now," was all Tonks got out while still fighting emotion down.

Remus knitted his eyebrows. "Surely it must be more important than that, you look ready to vomit. Oh, and if you must, by all means, go ahead….but not on the bed, please," Remus said, smiling at his little joke.

Tonks was ready to choke. Even in a weakened state such as his current one, he was cracking jokes like an old pal. Tonks was beginning to understand more of why she was starting to feel attracted to him.

"They want people _IN_ the Ministry, monitoring every move they make. Because of the denial Fudge is encouraging at the Ministry, it makes them prone to Imperiused officials and false reports. They…they want me, Kingsley, and Mad Eye to become spies!" Tonks said, blurting out that last sentence like she was ralphing, only with words instead of vomitous matter.

Remus raised an eyebrow. "That is some assignment, particularly for a new recruit. Being a spy takes a LOT of risk and self-control."

Tonks nodded. "I know, but we're the only three Aurors, so naturally, it has to be me!" she said. "It's punishable by Azkaban or the Dementor's Kiss, Remus!"

Remus nodded. "True, especially when you're spying ON the Ministry itself. But you do know you have no need to worry."

Tonks looked up. "I don't?"

Remus shook his head. "You have Kingsley and Mad Eye, and Dumbledore would never want anything bad to happen to any of the Order members, because there are so few of us now. Understand? Nothing bad can happen to you."

Tonks nodded. "You sure know how to make a girl feel better," she added. Remus smiled and put a hand on her shoulder for a brief moment. Tonks' feet when cold, as was only to be expected.

"I know one person who envies you already," he said.

"Who?" asked Tonks.

"Poor Sirius. He can't go out anywhere, so other than keeping the house in order for meeting and keeping me company, he's got nothing to do!"

Tonks nodded. "It's terrible being trapped in this place, I bet."

"He's a Black alright," Remus remarked. "Wild, a desire to be free and independent, a desire to conquer the world…"

Tonks choked back a laugh. How true.

"Well, they'll probably be missing me at the meeting," Tonks said, getting up after a moment of awkward silence. "Want me to bring you up some supper after?"

"What is Molly making?" asked Remus.

"I smelled Shepard's Pie," Tonks remarked. Remus smiled and nodded.

"I would be so grateful to you if you did," he answered. Tonks nodded. She turned and went to the door. Suddenly, without thinking, Tonks whirled around.

"Are you married?" she asked. As soon as the words left her mouth, Tonks blushed a deep crimson and wished she could kill herself right then and there. Remus seemed delighted and amused by the question, and she shook his head silently.

"Why did you want to know?" he asked, grinning.

"Oh, a Muggle woman saw you walking by during your shift on Privet Drive, and asked me later. She'll be glad to know," Tonks said quickly adding a sly wink and bolting out of the room.

* * *

Tonks saw next to none of Remus for the next month. Her new duties consumed much of her time and left her with a new regimen set before her by Mad Eye. She had to be up by four, dressed, fed, and at the Ministry Offices by six, had twelve hour shifts therein, and then afterward, she would convene for a daily meeting with Kingsley and Mad Eye over supper at the Ministry café and discuss the day's events, then the three of them would Apparate to the Hog's Head to relay the daily report to Aberforth Dumbledore, who would, in turn, relay it to his brother up at Hogwarts. Tonks usually stumbled into her room no earlier than midnight. The only times she saw either Remus or Sirius were glances of them as she walked in or out of Grimmauld Place, or on Sundays, when the Offices were closed. 

Tonks' specific duties as a spy in the Ministry made use of her Metamorphmagus abilities. Changing herself to be a redheaded, tall, broad-shouldered intern named Colette Jameson, Tonks was positioned as a message-runner from Fudge's office to the Auror Departments and Department of Mysteries. According to false paperwork Kingsley filed, Tonks was on indefinite leave because of a freak dueling practice accident that left her gums terribly swollen. At one point, a man named Xenophilius Lovegood had overheard Kingsley talking about this and made quite a fuss over how this 'confirmed his suspicions' over what he called the 'Rotfang Conspiracy' and that this was going 'on the front page of _The Quibbler_.' Tonks laughed hysterically at this when Kingsley told her.

One night, Kingsley and Tonks were at their habitual supper at the Ministry café, secretly discussing the information they'd picked up. Mad Eye had been late, which surprised the both of them. So they'd just gotten dinner and began talking about their findings, in low whispers, of course.

"I heard something Fudge said to Lucius Malfoy, but I could only catch a few phrases," Tonks muttered. "He's no doubt a shady character, my so-called 'Uncle'," she noted. Kingsley nodded. "Something about the Prophecy You-Know-Who is going to be after."

"Any specifics?" Kingsley asked.

"Malfoy hinted at 'desperate times call for desperate measures'," Tonks recalled. "But before he said much more, Fudge caught me and asked me to get him a drink. Kingsley…do you think You-Know-Who's going to try and make a grab for it himself?"

Kingsley shook his head. "He'd be a fool to. If he gets spotted, then the advantage he has over us would be spoiled. No, but I bet He has a plan. That's why this whole fear rubbish is only hurting the Ministry more. The quicker he faces the truth, the better."

"But—"

Tonks could hear the unmistakable uneven footsteps of Mad Eye approaching. Kingsley sighed and turned around. "He's late." Turning in his seat, Kingsley called out to Mad Eye casually. "Colette and I have been waiting! What's holding you?"

Mad Eye growled, and Tonks perked up in her seat. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

"What is it, Mad Eye?" she asked.

"Potter's been attacked by dementors," Mad Eye answered. "Emergency meeting at Headquarters in ten minutes."

Kingsley and Tonks stared at each other, completely speechless.

* * *

Tonks was overwhelmed. It was true. Harry Potter and his cousin, the boy who'd flirted awkwardly with Tonks six weeks ago, had been attacked unprovoked by dementors in Little Whinging, and Harry was forced to use a Patronus to beat them back. Mrs. Figg managed to get to them first. But, according to the Ministry, he was expelled for use of underages magic in the prescence of a Muggle. 

This was terrible. Harry Potter needed to go to school, why, Dumbledore refused to say, but it was vital. Kingsley immediately volunteered to use his high-ranking position at the Ministry to persuade the Wizengamot to give Potter a hearing, so as to give him a fair chance…which was needed. Potter had no reason to be expelled, seeing as the Patronus was used in his own defense. Tonks found is appalling that a trial would be needed to overhear such a simple and obviously melodramatic case.

But the members of the Order knew this would be hard to pull off just the same. The fact that there had been Dementors in Little Whinging was a fishy thing to hear, and it would be hard to convince a Ministry completely in voluntary denial that there WERE dementors at all outside of Azkaban. Not to

mention, dementors were under Ministry control, meaning one false word would point an even bigger finger at them, claiming that Dumbledore was accusing the Ministry of attack Harry Potter.

Tonks worked long and hard over the next day alongside Kingsley, trying to convince Fudge to permit the hearing.

At five-thirty, no progress had been made in the Order's favor. Kingsley had ordered out for a special dinner to try and appease to Fudge. Fudge had insisted that because Kingsley had his intern, Colette, he had to bring his intern, who just happened to be Percy Weasley. Percy sat faithfully at Fudge's side while the two men ate like a hound waiting for his master's approval. Tonks thought she was going to be ill.

"But Minister, there hadn't been a direct expulsion case for underage magic since the Swanson case of 1739, and that ended in an appeal and acquittal," Kingsley said. Tonks studied Kingsley, who was allegedly a master as persuasion, at least according to Molly Weasley. Maybe she could master those skills and become the next Head of the Auror Department.

Tonks finally permitted her mind to wander after Percy gave Tonks a cold look and mouthed, "Have we met before?"

How was Remus doing? A whole month without seeing too much of him meant that he'd just endured another transformation. Tonks, despite his warnings, became increasingly curious as to what it was like to witness a forming werewolf. The only time she'd seen one in animal form was when she was six. Now that she was luckily seemingly over her fear (even her boggart had changed. Molly found one in Sirius' old desk one Sunday when Tonks was off duty, and when Tonks had a go at it, it changed into a banshee instead of a werewolf), she became concerned and curious. Remus said it was unbearable to witness. But Tonks could stomach a lot more than she led on sometimes. She could handle it. She knew it didn't pose a risk to her as long as Remus took his medicine the week prior.

Tonks was suddenly jerked back to earth as Kingsley gently poked her arm. Apparently, she'd wandered too far out of her mind and fallen asleep.

Fudge actually laughed a moment. "Maybe you should've hired a different intern, there, Shacklebolt!"

Tonks went red with anger. Kingsley held his breath. One sudden furious outburst from Tonks and their whole cover would be blown. "I trust my own judgment in that matter, Minister, and Colette has proven to be indispensible to this point."

Fudge nodded and looked her over briefly. "Percy, be a gentleman and offer young Colette a drink," he said dryly, as if Tonks were deaf and couldn't hear his instructions. Percy nodded and even added a 'yes, Minister," before looking towards Tonks.

"Would you like a hot butterbeer?" he suggested. Tonks shook her head.

"I don't drink on business," Tonks replied, trying to be as uncharacteristic as possible. Tonks as herself would've ordered two shots of firewhiskey, but Colette, she decided, was serious about her work.

Percy nodded and didn't dip further into the matter.

Meanwhile, Kingsley seemed to have finally convinced Fudge. "Very well, seeing as I trust you above many others in the Ministry, very well. I shall give the lad a hearing in front of the Wizengamot," he said. Kingsley seemed satisfied with this and stood up.

"Well, I must see Colette home, and then get some rest myself, Minister Fudge, thank you for understanding."

Kingsley helped Tonks to her feet, and the two swung on their heels and quickly headed for the door, at leats until they heard a voice behind them.

"I don't."

Kingsley and Tonks turned their heads around again. "What, Minister?" asked Tonks.

"I don't understand."

Kingsley and Tonks looked at each other warily before heading out into the street.

* * *

The next week, the Order of the Phoenix was kept constantly on its feet, making several preparations for Harry Potter's arrival. Molly Weasley brought her four youngest children to Headquarters upon hearing that dementors were on the loose. Then, Harry's other friend, Hermione, came the following day. Harry was scheduled to be moved to Grimmauld Place by the end of the week, provided they could get Harry's aunt, uncle, and cousin out of the house long enough. Tonks volunteered to be on the Advance Guard that was being set up to come get Harry safely to London. To her surprise, Remus was feeling well enough to volunteer too. Tonks perked up significantly at this. She'd be around Remus again for a significant period since before the news of the Ministry and _Daily Prophet's_ attacks on Dumbledore. 

Things certainly weren't boring anymore. The Weasley twins, Fred and George kept the occupants of Grimmauld Place on their toes with their weird inventions and constant Apparating every few feet, taking advantage of no longer having the Trace on them. Ginny took a special liking to Tonks, and whenever there was a rare lull in the activity, Tonks would entertain Ginny and Hermione by shifting her appearances and making noses behind peoples' backs.

And soon enough, Tonks came upon her 'brilliant' plan to lure the Dursleys out of the house. Smiling as she told Remus and Sirius of her plan, Sirius uttered a huge laugh. "It's so simple," he remarked.

"They're a pretty simple bunch," Tonks replied, flashing back to the night Dudley tried flirting with her.

Tonks spent the day before the Advance Guard was set to pick up Harry Potter (and Tonks was never so psyched in her life…she was finally going to meet The Boy Who Lived!) writing a Muggle-post letter telling the Dursley Family that they'd been shortlisted in the Best-Kept Suburban Lawn in Britain Competition, and the winners were requested to come to London immediately. After Tonks sent it off, the rest of the day was spent preparing for the Advance Guard's flight to retrieve Harry Potter.

Tonks spent the afternoon polishing her broomstick for maximum aerodynamics. Remus sat beside her and talked with her, looking over his rented broomstick.

"It has a slight list to the tail," Remus tsked. "Good thing Mad Eye has me covering the formation from below. Your Two-Sixty is okay for speed, but I told Mad Eye that Diddle's Stardust Six-Eighty would be more suitable for leading the pack."

Tonks rolled her eyes. "Easy, Remus, I'm a tough girl, I can handle it," she winked. Remus looked at her admiringly.

"You're pretty special, you know," Remus said. Tonks felt her heart suddenly pound against her chest as she looked at him and smiled flirtageously.

"Oh? And, do tell me…how so?" Tonks asked. Remus chuckled under his breath.

"For a woman of twenty-two, you certainly know how to handle yourself!" Remus remarked. "You tend to underestimate yourself too."

Tonks blushed. "Well, I really never thought of myself as exceedingly brave…"

Remus nodded. "Well, you are. You sure you weren't a Gryffindor in school?"

Tonks shook her head. "The Sorting Hat debated between Hufflepuff and Slytherin for me, actually," she recalled. Remus snickered.

"Slytherin? You? Never!" Remus said.

"Well, I am half Black. It took a lot to convince the Sorting Hat that I wasn't Slytherin material," Tonks replied.

"I am intrigued," Remus said. Tonks smiled sincerely at him and looked into his eyes.

Mad Eye interrupted the little tender moment, much to Tonks' regret. "Time for takeoff, you two," he said. "Nymphadora, you'll be first into the air, followed by myself, and Emmeline, who will take third position. Remus, I don't want you in the air until Nymphadora is well above the street lamps, alright?"

Tonks rolled her eyes. She looked at Remus and sighed. "Duty calls."

She got to her feet and took her broom in hand. Remus stood up and followed her out of Grimmauld Place and to the street.

Tonks mounted her broom once on the empty street. She looked at Remus and felt her feet grow cold. But she was beginning to like it. She was growing to like it a lot.

Tonks lifted off and winked at Remus and prepared to start what was sure to be an incredible evening retrieving Harry Potter from his summer prison. "Shall we fly, Remus?"

* * *

_**A/N: **__To everyone who reviews this chapter: an evening at a restaurant with their favorite Order member! Remus is in the mood for sensuous, mood-setting Italian food. Tonks likes something ethnic and foreign, like Chinese or Thai food. Sirius will eat whatever you choose, because he's just that nice and awesome. _


	10. Seventeen Seconds

As much as Tonks wanted to take all the time in the world to ponder over what Remus had said about her being an 'amazing woman' and 'special,' Tonks had absolutely no time for the next month. Harry Potter was not at all like she'd imagined. She'd expected a brave, perfectly stud-like boy, and what she found was a malnourished, somewhat moody boy. Of course, she should've known better in the end. But still, after hearing stories of him longer than he'd known he was a wizard tended to skew the images she'd built in her head from the time she was ten. But regardless, his trial, thanks to Dumbledore and Arabella Figg, went well, and Harry was on his way back to school. Tonks had been one of the people to see him off. To her surprise, Sirius had come too, in his dog form. Tonks held her breath. How many people knew he was an Animagus? She could tell Mad Eye was about ready to pop a vein in his temple when 'Snuffles' walked by. 

But after watching the Hogwarts Express pull out of the station with the Weasleys, Harry, and Hermione all safely aboard, Tonks had a lot of work to do. She was moving out of Grimmauld Place because of room issues, and getting her own flat a few blocks over (so, it really wasn't that far, and she planned to spend most of her time not on duty with Sirius at Grimmauld Place to keep him company). Truth be told, sharing a house with two grown men (one of them a subject to this ridiculous little crush of hers) and a creepy old House Elf who always called her unholy names behind her back was a little overwhelming. Tonks still needed her independence regardless of her duties to the Order and her double-life at the Ministry. 

She'd managed to recruit Molly and Arthur Weasley's help moving her things and giving housewarming advice as she spent the afternoon setting up her studio flat, which was located on the top of an old converted warehouse on Churchill Avenue, which wasn't more than a kilometer from Trafalgar Square. She actually had a view of the fountain from her one window. The place was small, but cozy. Molly advised her to set up her bed in the corner near the bathroom, diagonally opposite from the kitchenette. Arthur helped Tonks move her small sofa in the middle of the room, across from the small fireplace. Tonks then took a good part of a quarter hour just arranging photos of her and her Hogwarts friends from her youth on the mantel. Molly then hung the mirror above the mantel and gave Tonks decorating advice. 

And she was very liberal about said advice, much to Tonks' annoyance. 

"And Nympha—Tonks, dear, maybe if you got a smaller sound system, you'd have more wall space for posters or photographs? And I would find a small desk for the vacant spot near the bed, in case you have to ever bring Auror work home, and if you could put a Wall Painting Charm on the walls, I think a light shade of mauve would really bring out—"

Luckily, Arthur could read Tonks' uncomfortable vibes, and he put his hand on his wife's shoulder.

"Molly, I really think we should head home. The gnomes have probably taken over the garden again—"

"Oh, poppycock!" Molly sighed. "I suppose Arthur's right. Well, before we go—" Molly pulled something out of her purse. To Tonks' delight, it was an enormous meat pie. 

"From experience, the first few weeks in your own place make it hard for you to find time to make it out to the grocery stores, so here. Hopefully this will last for a few days," Molly said kindly, handing the pie to Tonks, who gratefully accepted. 

"And I also left some leftovers from last night's farewell supper under a Refrigerating Charm on the island by the kitchenette," Molly said. Tonks looked over at the island, and 'some leftovers' was an understatement. There must have been a full pound's worth of roast sitting there under the little translucent dome that was the Refrigerating Charm. 

"Molly, you really didn't have to—" Tonks began.

But Molly interrupted with a huge embrace. Tonks hugged her back before Arthur gave her a quick hug as well. 

"Welcome home," Arthur said. Tonks grinned. But as soon as the pair was out the door, Tonks groaned and collapsed on the sofa just to relax. No sooner had she done so then there was another knock on the door. Tonks shot up and briefly looked around the room, seeing if either of them had forgotten something. Not noticing anything, Tonks shrugged to herself and went to the door. 

Her feet went cold and her heart stopped beating as she opened the door and saw Remus standing in front of her, holding a very neatly-wrapped package in his hands. Tonks smiled.

Remus' eyes smiled back at her, because his lips were already set in a semi-grin. "I figured I'd wait until the Weasleys were gone to stop by, and I saw them walking out a moment ago…"

Tonks raised an eyebrow mischievously. "Were you stalking outside my door, just waiting?"

Remus laughed. "Yes, that was it," he joked. Tonks laughed and showed him inside. Embarrassed by the mess and piles of boxes she was waiting as long as she could to unpack, Tonks closed the door behind her. Remus handed her the package.

"Housewarming gift," Remus said. Tonks sighed and set it aside. She was touched, knowing how he could barely afford anything, the fact that he bought her something meant a lot to her.

"I see Molly went to the liberty of giving you enough food to feed the whole Order for a month," Remus noted.

Tonks chuckled. "I can't complain. Free food…and good food," she noted. Remus laughed again.

"Amen to that. Merlin, that meat pie looks delicious…mind if I stay for dinner?" Remus eyes the food. Tonks felt concerned. Remus indeed wasn't the richest of people, and she always noted he ate twice his share when Molly served dinner after Order meetings. She knew very well Sirius had the cooking skills of a three year old, and both of them were sure Kreacher's cooking was laced with blood-traitor poison. Tonks nodded. 

"Not at all," Tonks said. "I'm afraid it will seem lonely for awhile here anyway." Remus smiled and nodded in thanks and began exploring the room. 

"How's Sirius?" she asked after a silent moment. "He seemed a little depressed when he heard I was moving out."

Remus took a moment before speaking. Tonks noticed it was getting grey outside. Rain was coming. 

"He's over it. I'm still going to be there, after all. At least until I can scrounge enough money together for a small place."

Tonks quickly caught up to Remus, who was standing behind a pile of boxes. "You can't get a job ANYWHERE? Remus, I could set aside some of my savings, I mean ,granted, as a junior Auror, my Gringotts vault isn't stuffed, but—"

"—I stopped accepting charity long ago, Dora," Remus said solemnly. Tonks' nostrils flared. Remus called her 'Dora' all the time now, even after three more rounds of the Nasty Mouth Hex. Tonks decided for once, that it was a losing battle. But it still irked her to no end. 

Tonks moved right up next to Remus. He wasn't as tall as Tonks seemed to recall. She was only half a head shorter. She could see the distress in his body language, and hear the sadness in his voice. 

"I can barely make ends meet for myself without a rent to pay," Remus said. Tonks put her hand on his shoulder. 

"You could always move in with me," Tonks found herself saying, and the offer caught her off guard. She could feel a sort of tension between Remus and herself. Remus looked down at her with a confused and somewhat surprised look on his face. Tonks did not let her grip on his shoulder go. The tension was getting harder to suppress, and her feet, which had always been cold around him were now ice. Tonks gazed into his eyes.

"I couldn't," Remus said. Well, more like whispered. He was looking back into her eyes, which she'd made violet to offset her shoulder-length lime green hair with purple tips. Tonks couldn't stand the tension anymore. 

She did it. 

She sprang up on her toes and kissed Remus full on the lips. Damned if he pushed her away. She knew he couldn't deny the tension in the moment. Her hand didn't leave his shoulder. And he didn't put his arms around her. 

But neither did he let go, like she anticipated. Remus did not pull away from the kiss, and Tonks could've sworn she felt his lips move against hers. He was actually kissing her back and making it deeper! 

And, for the first time (at least without Mad Eye in the room) since they'd met, Tonks' feet went warm. Her spine felt hot and wiggly as Remus led the kiss further. They still didn't do anything with their hands or arms. Everything was done with just the lips. 

Tonks wanted it to last forever. But it only lasted a totally of seventeen seconds. That was because Remus did pull away in the end. He moved his face away, but he didn't let go of her eyes. At least for a moment.

"I…I can't stay for supper after all, I just forgot," Remus suddenly said, pulling away from Tonks altogether and heading for the door. Tonks felt her feet go cold again and her heart go cold right along with them. 

"Why not?" Tonks asked, pursuing Remus to the door. Remus was fumbling with the buttons on his raincoat. Tonks looked quickly outside and noticed that it was indeed raining rather heavily.

"Dora, you need to understand, I really shouldn't be spending this much time around you," Remus said. "Your parents wouldn't approve—"

"—why should my parents give one damn about who I see?" Tonks asked back, but Remus shook his head again. 

"It goes way beyond that, but don't you mind. I just….I just need to leave you alone to unpack is all. I'll see you another time at Grimmauld Place."

And with that, Remus rushed out of the room and shut the door behind him. 

Tonks could never find words for exactly how she felt after Remus quickly left the room. But there was one undeniable fact: she was in love. No trying to keep it in the back of her mind anymore. Tonks loved Remus Lupin. There was no denying that kiss had been the best thing to ever happen to her. Now that he was gone, and clearly disgusted by the kiss, Tonks wanted to throw herself out the window. 

But, instead, she collapsed to the floor in front of the fireplace and cried herself to sleep. 

* * *

_"Miss Tonks! ARE YOU THERE!"_

Tonks was rudely awakened after a solid four hours of sleeping on the floor after crying her eyes out by her Muggle landlady, Ms. Edna Carnabucchi, pounding on her door. Tonks quickly changed her hair to the color Edna had seen her with the first time they'd met, a curly strawberry blonde. Getting up to answer the door, Tonks yelped in pain. She's slept on her back wrong, and now it was stiff and twisted at the same time, particularly around the neck. 

Tonks rushed to the door and opened it for Edna. The woman looked like a tanned version of a cupcake, big on top, and small below the waist, with a mop of thick, tangled curly black hair, like dark chocolate icing. 

"What is it, Ms. Carnabucchi?" Tonks asked, before looking down and seeing why Edna was so upset. Snuffles was standing there at her side, his collar in Edna's pudgy fist. The dog held a large plastic bag in his mouth. 

"No dogs allowed in the apartment building! He's been sitting at your door scratching and whining for an hour, so I can only assume he's yours!" Edna accused. She let the grip on the collar go, and the dog bolted into the room and sat patiently by the sofa, not letting go of the bag. 

Tonks groaned. "It's my aunt's dog. She'd a breeder, and she sends her trained dogs with parcels sometimes toher nieces and nephews. Bit annoying, really," Tonks reasoned. It was a very stupid reason, but then again, Sirius being outside of his home and risking his neck in the Muggle streets just to stop by was a pretty stupid scenario. 

"He'll be no trouble, I promise," Tonks vowed.

Edna nodded. "If I hear one complaint or one bark, he's out, and you along with him," she warned. Tonks nodded solemnly. Edna slammed the door and left. 

Tonks rushed over to the sofa where Sirius sat and grabbed the bag roughly from his mouth and looked inside. Four unopened bottles of firewhiskey were inside. 

"Booze….you risked my getting evicted before I even totally unpack, not to mention your ass being sent back to Azkaban until kingdom come…to bring me BOOZE!" Tonks growled. 

Sirius quickly morphed back into his human form and rubbed his jaw. "Careful yanking things out of my mouth…you could've taken out a tooth!"

"Sorry," Tonks said, softening up quickly seeing her cousin. Sirius took a seat beside her. "But are you mad? If you're caught, that's twice in one day you venture out—"

"—this is Muggle territory," Sirius insisted. "I'm in less danger here than I was at King's Cross!"

Tonks groaned. "And what's with the booze?"

"Moony stormed back into the house completely infuriated and close to crying like a girl. He told me what happened here, and asked if he could have a drink. From the sounds of it, I figured you'd need it more, so I hid the booze and decided to sneak it over here when he went in for a nap so we could get drunk together tonight and talk it over!" Sirius said. Tonks gazed at him angrily.

"He was INFURIATED? At ME!" Tonks said appalled. Sirius nodded and uncorked the first bottle, not even bothering to find glasses. "If anything, I should be pissed at him, for what he did to me! Kissing me and then leaving me like that!"

Sirius handed a second bottle of firewhiskey in Tonks' direction. After a moment of staring at it, Tonks grabbed it and uncorked it, taking a huge swig that made her throat burn almost to the point of going numb altogether. 

"Jerk," Tonks muttered.

"So you're in love with him?" Sirius asked in a casual tone.

"Hell yes," Tonks replied. The thick liquid was warming, and Tonks took another swig of the drink, and it was a little easier on the throat this time. 

Sirius nodded in understanding. "You should tell him that."

Tonks shook her head. "No way," she replied.

"Why not?" Sirius asked, taking a deep drink of the bottle and then licking the rim of it. 

"Because you weren't the one he was kissing—"

"—thank Merlin," Sirius mumbled under his breath, 

"—and as soon as he finished, he left and said he couldn't see me as much because my PARENTS wouldn't approve!" Tonks said, punctuating the sentence with another sip, this time banging her front tooth lighting on the rim of the bottle before drinking. 

"Still, don't you think he deserves to know that he's breaking your heart?" Sirius asked. Tonks rolled her eyes.

"I guess so. I suppose I'll get around to it eventually, I have so much work at the Ministry to do in the coming weeks. And tomorrow I'm going to have a killer hangover," she babbled. 

"It'll be worth it to let him know. The least it could do is give him enough guilt for him to be your devoted slave for awhile," Sirius said, drinking again from his now half-empty bottle. Tonks noted with delight their conversation was making less and less sense with every word. 

"That's sexy," Tonks said. "Like Remus!" she giggled quietly. Sirius licked his lips and leaned in, smiling.

"So, you're going to tell him you love him?"

"Yeppers," Tonks said senselessly. Sirius nodded.

"By Christmas," he demanded. Tonks nodded sharply, making the brains in her head slosh around, and the world became a little bit slanted to the left. She lifted her bottle in the air in a toast. 

"To the kiss, and how it made me see the light at last!" Tonks toasted. Sirius nodded and clanked his bottle (nearly empty) against hers. Sirius took one last giant swig and passed out to the floor, blacked out. 

Tonks giggled drunkenly and sprawled herself on the sofa, face up, and drank from the bottle for a few solid moments before the drink got to her head as well and knocked her out cold for the night. 

* * *

_**A/N:**__ All those who review this chapter get a night of boozing with their favorite Order member. Remus likes getting drunk off fancy wine in a firelit, romantically private setting. Tonks gets hammered out at the dance clubs and boogies the night away. Sirius will drink whenever and wherever you want, but he likes the old fashioned Irish pubs and getting up to dance on the bar with you, shouting to the whole bar that you are his lady! _

_Also, I'd like to take a moment to direct you to my cousin's Youtube account: **QueenSupreme89,** where she has so kindly made a trailer to accompany this fic. Just either go to her channel, or search "The Lone Wolf Fanfic Trailer" and leave a comment, because she likes comments as much as I like reviews!_


	11. Worth My Breath

_Dear Tonks,_

_Although I can't say why, things here at school are getting slowly better despite that toad of a Defense teacher, Umbridge. Still, I can't wait to come home for the holiday in two weeks. I can tell you what Umbridge looks like, then you can imitate her and make fun of her, and I can laugh again, which I haven't done since before the term started. _

_As for the 'problem' you wrote to me about, I can't really say much because you won't tell me who it is you like. But from my point of view, all boys are scum. Like the boy I've been devoting myself to for four years of my life just went and snogged some pretty Ravenclaw and didn't even care how I felt. But regardless of my life, you're really above any man you come across. But if he really does mean so much to you, stop wasting time and tell him before Christmas! Because Snuffles is probably not kidding when he says if you don't, he'll curse your head clear off your neck!_

_Much love,_

_Ginny_

* * *

Tonks read the letter over again as she sat at the kitchen table at Grimmauld Place, waiting for the tea kettle to boil. She'd come over at a somewhat bad time, for Remus was out at the moment visiting with Kingsley Shacklebolt at his house, but Sirius said he'd be back at any moment. It was still fairly early in the morning, not before eight, anyways. It was a little over a week now until Christmas, and Tonks resolved that the day would be today.

The fall season this year had been pretty hard on Tonks both emotionally and physically. Her spy duties at the Ministry got tougher and tougher as more and more bad press came out about Potter and Dumbledore. The disappearances had begun that Sirius had said to look out for. According to him, they were the tell tale signs that Voldemort was on the move. Now one of Tonks' missions was to guard Harry Potter's prophecy at certain times during the day, in case a Death Eater came by and tried to steal it. It was her most dangerous task to date. She didn't have time to confess her feelings for Remus, even though despite what happened at her studio, they grew by the day.

She particularly felt her fondness grow the day he'd come to the Ministry for a new werewolf registry process that had just been passed by the Wizengamot as mandatory. Tonks was on duty that afternoon to guard the Hall of Prophecies. She'd been approached by Lucius Malfoy, who appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Tonks got out her wand and stood her ground, for Harry had informed the Order that Lucius was there the night Voldemort was resurrected.

"I do believe I've never seen you here before," Lucius crooned, his voice oddly smooth. Tonks gazed at him. "New intern?"

"Auror department," Tonks said. "I'm Colette, Mr. Malfoy."

Lucius got an odd look on his face. "Last name?"

"I'm not Muggleborn, if that's what you mean," Tonks replied. "Anyway, what does it matter to you?"

"Auror intern, that puts you under…?" Lucius fished around in my memory.

"Shacklebolt," Tonks answered quickly and coldly. She stood her ground bravely. He wouldn't dare try to pull anything on her here, would he? It was be a stupid move, after all. He'd be blowing his cover.

"Ah yes," Lucius mumbled. "Such a pretty girl too," he said, reaching out an unwanted hand and stroking Colette's reddish blonde hair. "But not pureblooded?"

"Again, does it matter? My great grandmother was Irma Crabbe," Tonks blurted out. Suddenly, she completely regretted spurting out her true ancestry. Lucius thought about this for a moment. Tonks wondered if she should run right then. Lucius would obvious have the family trees drilled into his head since childhood.

"That's not possible, Colette…because that would mean you're a—" Lucius took a look and chuckled. "Oh, how stupid of us both. There are only two possibilities. Either you're that morphing brat of my sister-in-law's in disguise, or your some bastard daughter of Sirius'."

Tonks bit her lip. She had one last chance or else her whole cover would be blown…then again, if she took the other route, then she'd be cornered by the Ministry for information on Sirius' whereabouts!"

"Don't you DARE talk about her uncle that way!" shouted a voice from behind the both of them. Lucius flipped around, and Tonks peered around his body to see Remus coming at them, a lit wand in his hand. Lucius' grin was evil.

"Here to renew your identification, Lupin? I heard bite marks are required because of that new law for werewolf registration, have fun with that?" Lucius said. Remus looked sternly at Lucius.

"None of your business," Remus said.

"Do you know this young lady? You said something about Sirius Black being her uncle, surely you can't be implying that her father is—"

"—Regulus Black. Yes I am," Remus said, coming to Tonks' defense. Tonks had nothing to say. Lucius turned back to her and studied the look on her face.

"She does have the Black pout," Lucius noted. "Who's your Mum, Colette?"

Tonks had to improvise. "I don't know. My dad dumped me when my Mum became pregnant at Hogwarts, then she dumped me off at a Muggle orphanage after I was born. I only found out Regulus Black was my father when Professor Dumbledore told me I was a witch."

Lucius seemed to buy this lie. "Well, that explains why you're not on the family tree," he said. "But just to be sure, seeing as the Ministry doesn't need any imposters working in this department—" Lucius grabbed Tonks' arm suddenly. "I should get some Veritaserum, and we'll see if you really are a descendent of Regulus Black…"

"Get your hands OFF her! _Obliviate!"_ Remus shouted. Lucius fell to the floor as a white spark hit him. Remus then grabbed Tonks' arm and led her quickly back up to the Auror Department, where the whole thing was explained to Kingsley. Lucius could not recall the event, and nothing got back to Fudge or anyone important. It was an incredibly close call that Remus had saved her from.

But after that, nothing much happened. Tonks had very few opportune moments to tell Remus of her feelings. At least they seemed to be back on their friendly terms, and a few nights a month, they dined (with Sirius) together and laughed when no one else was around. Tonks liked Remus' laugh. It was rough, yet harmonic in a strange way. Tonks figured it was just the nature of her infatuation.

So now, here she was, mentally preparing herself for what was about to go down. She heard the sound of someone Apparating to the top step of 12 Grimmauld Place, and she got to her feet as she heard Remus whistling as he walked down the corridor towards the kitchen. Tonks had made Sirius leave the room earlier to give her and Remus some privacy. She wouldn't have been surprised, however, if he'd stolen one of Fred and George's Extendable Ears in order to have a listen from upstairs.

Remus walked in to the room, looking as sickly as ever, yet somehow happy as well. "Dora, what brings you here? It's a great day, light dusting of snow on the ground, I thought you'd be out Christmas shopping on your day off," he said. Tonks took a deep breath. Now or never.

"Remus, I missed you," Tonks said. Remus laughed that comment off like a 'buddy' or a 'pal' would, even though Tonks said it with the upmost sincerity in her voice, which she'd been in her flat practicing for four hours straight the previous day.

"Oh, I was just having an early breakfast with Kingsley. I'm surprised you didn't opt to sleep in, either," Remus said.

"I had a rough night, and I was making tea," Tonks explained. "Listen, could you for a moment?"

Remus smiled and looked at Tonks before sitting down casually. Tonks took another deep breath. "Remus, I've never been graceful, or smart, or even serious like I am right now, but I really need to confess something to you."

"You're a Death Eater," Remus suggested. Tonks glared at him. Remus frowned. "Sorry, it was a joke."

Tonks smiled. "I know, I know," she said. "But the thing is—"

Remus got up and went to the steaming tea kettle, cutting Tonks off. "Is this work related? Because it IS only eight in the morning—"

"—I love you."

If silence spoke volumes, Tonks was currently listening to the Day-By-Day Handwritten History of Humankind Starting with the Day the Earth Was Formed. The tea kettle kept whispering. Remus turned around and looked at Tonks. His look wasn't strange. It was neutral. Tonks couldn't read what Remus was thinking. Oh, if only she knew Legilimancy! Maybe he didn't hear her?

"Remus, I love you."

Nothing changed. Tonks swallowed and moved in slightly closer. "Well, do you have anything to say?" she fished.

Remus did have something to say. A lot of things, in fact, but he didn't have the chance.

For it was at that moment that a big white Patronus in the form of a squirrel floated into the room and set itself on the table with a message in Molly Weasley's voice.

_"Arthur's been attacked. In St. Mungo's. It's really bad."_

* * *

The next three days were spent at St. Mungo's, waiting for news on Arthur Weasley's recovery. Everyone in the Order was there. The Weasley children were there, and so were Harry and Hermione. It was for this reason Tonks decided to put her selfish feelings for Remus on hold until all of this was settled. Her mind was needed elsewhere.

According to Dumbledore, it had been Voldemort's snake that had attacked Arthur while he was on duty protecting the Prophecy. He'd been injured in the line of duty. Now Tonks knew the exact seriousness of what her duties could bring to her.

Only family was allowed the first day after the attack, so Tonks stayed with most of the Order out in the waiting area. She could only assume Remus wasn't there because he was keeping Sirius company back at Headquarters.

She hated the hospital. It was a very scary place for her, especially. It had to do with Fenrir's near-attack on her sixteen years ago. After Mad Eye Disapparated with her in hand away from her burning house and the wolf, he had taken her here. The Healers had feared that she'd been bitten after all, and Ted and Andromeda were a surprisingly long time in coming to get her. So, all of these tests were done on her, with only this strange-eyed man who looked mean and gruff looking over her. Of course, Tonks knew he had to be nice, seeing as he'd rescued her. But he wasn't exactly a kindly man right off the bat, either.

So, test after tests, scary spells and bright lights galore (it didn't help that Tonks was already afraid of Healers and dentists, like many other children), Tonks was left to grow up with not only an incredible fear of werewolves, but an uneasy feeling whenever her Mum would take her for a teeth cleaning, or whenever she was sick and needed to visit St. Mungo's to get a Healer's diagnosis on whatever sickness she had. Needless to say, she didn't like it here under this circumstance. It was horrifying thinking it very well could've been her who'd been attacked by Nagini.

After three days, Molly, looking extremely relieved, said that Arthur would make a full recovery, and that, two at a time, they could come in and visit. Tonks went in with Mad Eye. Tonks make herself look as cheery as she normally was when she went in. Arthur was looking less battered than Tonks had expected.

"Wotcher, Arthur!" Tonks greeted Arthur with all the perkiness she could muster.

Arthur looked up at Tonks with her favorite short-cut pink hair. "Oh, Tonks, I didn't recognize you with your pink hair…" he joked. Tonks smiled.

They didn't stay long, however, because Mad Eye was scheduled to go back to the Ministry and take the afternoon shift. Tonks just wanted some sleep after waiting in that miserable place for three days.

Mad Eye Disapparated directly to the Ministry, and so Tonks was left to go home on her own. But on her way to the stairwell, who else did she bump in to but Remus, heading in the opposite direction with a small bouquet of flowers for Arthur.

They just stood in each other's way a moment, staring at each other awkwardly. Tonks knew it had to be her who broke the silence.

"So, you aren't going to say anything?" Tonks said. Remus looked at her. "Anything at all? A yes? A no? Even nodding you head would be something!"

Remus shrugged. "What do you want me to say?" he asked. Tonks almost wanted to slap him, but he was just too wonderful a person to hurt.

"Well, I _would_ like it very much if you said 'I love you too, Tonks!'" Tonks said, egging him on. Remus sighed woefully, and Tonks' heart sank before he even said another word.

"I can't say that, and you know why," he replied. Tonks gritted her teeth together as he brushed by her and continued up the stairs.

"No, I don't! Why not? Why can't you say it? If it's because you don't love me back, then say THAT instead, and at least I'll know why!" Tonks pleaded.

Remus reached the top of the stairs and turned around to await Tonks. "Look, I don't know why you're choosing me in the first place. I'm too old for you. I'm poor as dirt and couldn't afford to give you any presents on Valentine's Day, and not to mention, I'm dangerous too! You should know better!"

Tonks rolled her eyes. She was more angered now than she was sad. "Okay, first off, you know me well enough by now that Valentine's Day gifts don't mean one rat's ass to me," she began. Remus began walking towards Arthur's room. Tonks had to walk twice as fast to keep up with his slow but long

paces. "Secondly, age is just a number. Just because my Mum is only two months older than my Dad doesn't mean a thing, and that's a ridiculous excuse besides!" Tonks' breath was getting shallower and more rapid.

Remus still didn't say anything. "And as for too dangerous," Tonks said. "It's because of you that I'm no longer afraid of werewolves to begin with!"

"SHH!" Remus hissed. "You want the whole ward to hear you?"

"YES!" Tonks screamed, now furious to the point of her head exploding. "The whole damn WORLD can listen to what I have to say! Remus—" Tonks reached out and grabbed Remus' free hand, which stopped him dead in his tracks. He turned to face her, and Tonks stared him down.

"Did that kiss mean nothing to you?"

"It was a spur of the moment thing, Tonks," Remus insisted. Tonks felt her heart sink even lower. He didn't even call her 'Dora' anymore. "Why the bloody hell are you so bent on having me? What am I worth to you? Do tell me."

Tonks stood up tall. When she did, she gained three good inches on Remus. She didn't let go of his hand. "You are the gentlest, kindest, most considerate, funniest man I've ever met. I get cold feet whenever I'm around you, and whenever you knock on my door or whenever I hear you Apparate into Headquarters, my heart stops beating as I think, 'he's back!' I know this sounds a bit obsessive, but I really love you!"

_Obsessive?_ Tonks thought to herself_. More like borderline stalker!_

Remus looked concerned, staring at her. "You really feel that way about me?"

Tonks nodded. "Yes, I do."

Remus couldn't understand it. How could this bright, beautiful, jazzy, extroverted young witch be so set on gaining his introverted, quiet, intimate love? He didn't deserve her, not after what he nearly did to her. "Well stop dreaming, because even if we want it to work, it can't. I'm…I'm not worth your breath, so go home and find some younger bloke to follow!"

Remus finally tore himself from her grip and he quickly walked away from her. Tonks didn't pursue him this time. Remus' last, hurtful words flooded her ears.

"_I'm not worth your breath…"_

"Oh, but you are," Tonks said softly and quietly as she watched Remus turn a corner. "You, without a doubt, most certainly are."

* * *

_**A/N: **__To those who review this chapter goes one hour locked in a closet with your favorite Order member, to do with them whatever you want! _


	12. Believer at Last

Tonks wasn't ready to give up. That was one thing she was known for: her Black-Family stubbornness. Sirius was rather amused by it when Tonks told him the whole story of what went on at the Hospital.

"You see, my dear sweet Mumsie can say whatever the hell she pleases, you're a Black through and through," he'd remarked.

Tonks spent more of her free time with Sirius the next week. Not so much with the drinking, because she knew Mad Eye would have her ass for a hat, in case she was called in to the Ministry, but talking at Grimmauld Place (and Tonks' flat when Sirius was feeling daring enough) about how ridiculous Remus was being. Tonks was somewhat surprised to find out Sirius was on her side.

"But Remus is YOUR friend!" Tonks had said. Sirius shrugged and rolled his eyes.

"But he's being as stupid as he always was. It's because he's afraid he's going to bite his girlfriend if he has one…"

Tonks groaned. "But I LIKE that!" She slammed her head on the island kitchenette in mock-drama.

Sirius laughed. "Christmas is three days away, you get him anything?" he asked. Tonks nodded.

"It took me forever, but I got him a dragon-tooth pendant," Tonks said. Sirius' eyes nearly bugged out of his head when he heard Tonks say this.

"Don't they run about fifty galleons each?" Sirius asked.

"Sixty-two galleons and nine sickles," Tonks recited. "But the giver can make a wish for the recipient to fulfill, and once they put on the pendant, the wish has to come true before the wearer takes it off again."

"Oh come now, Tonks, that's only a legend!" Sirius scoffed.

"You're talking to an incredibly desperate woman," Tonks moaned. "But he'd better damn well appreciate it, because I made the wish that he'd let me jump his bones before he takes it off."

Sirius stared at Tonks blankly for a full thirty seconds before bursting out in laughter. Tonks blushed and frowned.

"You know, that's going to be hard, considering he's a virgin…oops, did I let that slip?" Sirius said. Tonks nearly dropped the plate with the slice of peach pie Molly had made for her (she had yet to go grocery shopping on her own).

"Sirius, don't lie to me," Tonks said. "He can't be."

"He can, and he is. I should know," Sirius said before taking a small sip of his bottle of butterbeer. "It's because he's too afraid to have a woman."

Tonks almost wanted to end the conversation there, but her curious mind still wasn't satisfied. "Didn't he go out with anyone in school?" Tonks almost felt inadequate, having herself left Hogwarts after having sex with two different guys. She felt like a whore all of a sudden.

Sirius shook his head. "Prongs and I tried setting him up with girls from every house…except Slytherin, of course…and he'd go out on one date and find something wrong with her. Her eyes were too wide, her teeth were crooked…her personality clashed with his…she wasn't serious enough about her schoolwork…any excuse he could find."

"I wonder what his excuse for me is?" Tonks wondered. Sirius shrugged.

"While he's talked a lot about what happened at St. Mungo's, he's never mentioned a fault yet."

Tonks bit her lip. Maybe it was because she was too…extroverted? He was a very introverted man himself. That must've been it.

Wanting desperately to change the conversation, Tonks painted on a sly grin. "And you? I don't exactly see you with women much these days…"

"I, the great Sirius, a virgin? Hardly!" Sirius laughed. Tonks rolled her eyes and looked at Sirius. "Ask Emmeline—"

"—you had sex with Emmeline Vance?!" Tonks shrieked. "Ugh!! She must've been a seventh year your fourth year! How could you—"

"I was a troubled child with a troubled family, and she…apparently…found that a turn on. So, after watching a Quidditch game featuring Prongs, she and I went under the bleachers! What can I say? I was a carelessly handsome fellow even then!"

"Shut UP!" Tonks shrieked. Sirius began laughing, but a knock on the door halted his laughing.

"Oh, Merlin," he muttered.

"HIDE!" Tonks cried. Sirius quickly became a dog and ran behind the island. Tonks ran to the door.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"It's Daddy, Dora, open up!"

Tonks gave a weird look, then she let the door open. Ted Tonks stood in the doorway, holding an elaborately-wrapped box. Tonks rolled her eyes.

"What brings you to London three days before Christmas?" she asked.

"You mum," Ted groaned. "She said because you won't be at the family Christmas party for the first time, she sent your present along with me to give to you—"

"—she's trying to guilt me into coming to that annoying bash with all your creepy Muggle relatives, isn't she?" Tonks sighed knowingly.

"It IS an empty box, Dora, so she's expecting you to say yes," Ted said. Tonks gritted her teeth together. She was hoping that she could spend the holiday trying to corner Remus while Harry and the Weasleys were at Grimmauld Place, where they intended to spend the holidays.

"I suppose I could stop by," Tonks said. "But will Aunt Katherine be there?" she asked.

Ted nodded his head solemnly. "Along with your cousins."

Tonks wanted to yell. Her cousins, who didn't know anything about magic. Andromeda and Tonks were forced to keep everything about themselves and Ted a secret around Katherine's Muggle husband, Jennings (an orthodontist…which sounded like the boring profession on Earth to Tonks…and nastiest, as she was never interested in how he picked at teeth and crammed metal wires in between them) and her two annoying children, Ellie and Vera. Ellie was a year younger than Tonks, but a whole head taller, and this made Ellie think she had supreme authority over Tonks. Vera wasn't as bad as her older sister, but she was extremely nosy and gossip-like, just the same.

"I better be getting a damn good present," Tonks groaned. Ted chuckled and nodded.

"I was wondering when you were going to say that, Mum transferred two-hundred Galleons into your vault."

Tonks suddenly went speechless. "Two hundred Galleons? But where could she get that? She's a housewife, and you barely make enough that you can spare two hundred—"

"—don't ask," Ted answered. He saw no reason to tell Tonks that Sirius had tried to give Andromeda some of his money, and she had refused the two-hundred galleon offer, and so transferred it to her daughter's account instead. It wasn't like Tonks was going to complain, anyways.

"You'll be there? The party starts at noon," Ted said.

Tonks sighed and nodded her head. "I'll be there by Portkey," she said. Ted nodded.

"Mind if I inspect your place?" he asked.

Tonks shook her head. "You're allergic to dogs, right?"

"Yes, but what does that have to—"

"I have one. Come here, Snuffles!" Tonks summoned Sirius from behind the island. Sirius came obediently.

Ted nodded. "I see, well, see you there, then. I love you," he said.

"Love you too, Daddy," Tonks said, briefly hugging her father before he turned and walked down the hall.

Tonks looked down at Sirius, feeling suddenly very crappy. "You know, you're a pain in the ass, but you can be quite handy when you want to be…"

* * *

Tonks knew two-hundred Galleons was an incredible sum of money, so she did feel a little guilted into going to her parent's house for the family Christmas Party. Her Aunt Katherine was always criticizing Tonks for her 'lack of discipline' and her 'lack of character.' Tonks knew how to block this out. She also was aware that the family thought she was addicted to hair dye, so changing her hair to be pine-green and putting little red berries in her hair to make her hair look like a Christmas wreath wouldn't be so unexpected of her. She grew it out and curled it as well. Vera and Ellie called these 'extensions.'

After putting on one of her mother's red silk blouses (that made Tonks feel somewhat restricted…her mother was a good size smaller than she was, and she generally didn't like making herself smaller or better-figured, as she knew it would lead to low self-esteem, and that was the LAST thing she needed), Tonks got to her Portkey, an old jewelry box, and made her way to her parent's cottage.

Landing in the backyard, Tonks fell flat on her face in the snow as she landed and let go of the jewelry box. The first thing she heard was a groan and a small scream. Andromeda rushed towards Tonks and helped her to her feet.

"Nymphadora, you foolish child," she moaned. "They're here already! You're late, and coming by Portkey while they can plainly see you is extremely dangerous!"

"Mum, I'm fine…and since when did Uncle Jennings and Aunt Katherine give one damn about me?" Tonks muttered, just out of earshot of Andromeda. "Oh, I'm sorry," Tonks said in a much sweeter tone so that Andromeda did hear.

"Now, get inside the house. Ellie and Vera have gifts for you," Andromeda said. Tonks rolled her eyes. She wished she'd brought her wand. She could've had a little fun with her annoying cousins. But instead, she brought Remus' dragon-tooth pendant, in case she felt a need to slip out early and visit him and Sirius, and the Weasleys.

Once inside the cottage, Tonks was greeted by Jennings first, who asked her to open her mouth. Tonks gave him and odd look and nudged around him. She could hear him tsking at Ted and muttering, "I'll be she'd still got that slight cross-bite. Shame, really."

Next came Aunt Katherine, her father's younger sister, just as Muggle as the rest of them. She knew of her magic and her family's magic, but not wanting to expose such an abnormality to her daughters, she had given Tonks gifts over the years that were supposed to make Tonks less and less dependent on magic. The 'calculator' she'd gotten four years ago still remained in its package in her old room.

Tonks grimaced as Katherine handed her a medium-sized package wrapped in newspaper (that didn't move). Tonks nodded a sarcastic thanks and opened the box. Inside was a curling iron.

Katherine leaned in and whispered, "It's for curling your hair," she instructed.

Tonks winked. "I think I can figure it out myself," she said, expressively tossing the wrappings aside and loudly putting the curling iron on the coffee table. Tonks headed to the sanctuary of the sofa, but it wasn't a sanctuary for very long. Ellie and Vera joined her, in matching silver-colored dresses, sitting one on each side of her. Vera was getting tall too, now only an inch shorter than Tonks herself.

"Hello, Dory," said Ellie. Katherine had never told either of her daughters Tonks' real name, as it was just as strange as the rest of her. So, to them, 'Dory' was short for 'Dorinda.'

"Ellie, Vera, Happy Christmas,' Tonks muttered, taking out the dragon-tooth pendant and fiddling with it. She suddenly felt something land in her lap.

"Happy Christmas," said Vera, cheekily enough. Tonks took the package and opened it begrudgingly. It was a little pink-colored vial. Tonks knew what this was, as Vera had given her the same thing in thirty different shades every year. Nail polish.

"Thanks," Tonks sighed. She took up the pendant again and kept playing with it.

"What IS that?" asked Ellie, scoffingly.

"A dragon-tooth pendant," Tonks said. Vera giggled.

"No really, what is it?" she asked. Tonks smiled to herself. She was so sick of being here, she sounded sarcastic! How much fun could she have with this?

"It really is," Tonks said. "I turn it over three times like this," she said as she demonstrated for her cousins. "And I can inhibit it's magical powers!"

"MAGIC?!" Ellie screeched. "Magic?!"

This got the attention of Aunt Katherine, who sped over to the couch. "What's this about magic?" she asked.

Vera giggled. "Dory said she can do magic with a necklace! How silly!"

"Oh yes," Katherine sighed. "Dory, your mum wants to see you," Katherine said, getting Tonks forcefully to her feet and dragging her to an isolated corner of the room.

"Now, Dory, you KNOW I don't want my daughters knowing about your magic!" Katherine scolded.

"No need to scold me, I'm ONLY twenty-two!" Tonks shot back sarcastically.

"You want me telling your mother?" said Katherine, ignoring Tonks. Tonks rolled her eyes and pushed her dear old Auntie aside and sped to where her father stood, listening to Uncle Jennings discuss the disadvantages of invisible braces.

"I'm leaving now," she mouthed from behind Jennings' shoulder. Ted rolled his eyes and nodded, dismissing her. Tonks breathed a huge sigh of relief and quickly went outside to grab her Portkey back to her apartment, knowing she would be no more than an hour at that accused Christmas party, no matter HOW much her mother guilted her about it.

* * *

Once at her apartment, Tonks let out a huge scream in order to get rid of all the miserable frustrations she'd been holding in while at the party. Then, after ignoring the hollers of the annoyed neighbors downstairs, she changed out of the red blouse into a black t-shirt and jeans with holes in the knees. She made sure she had her gift for Remus, as well as the bottle of imported Bulgarian firewhiskey she knew Sirius would devour in an hour at most, and left to walk down to Grimmauld Place, Apparating to the top step at the very last minute. The walking felt good, and Tonks didn't care that she hadn't brought a coat and it was only 4 degrees Celsius.

Once inside, she peered in the kitchen to see if anyone was there. Molly was dishing out bowls of soup to the occupants of the table: Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and Fred and George. At the head of the table sat Arthur, badly bruised and still cut up quite a bit, but looking worlds better than he had been in St. Mungo's. Sirius sat on the far side of Harry. The vacant spot at the table where Remus would've been sitting was empty. Tonks' heart sank. Remus wasn't there.

"Oh, Tonks!" Molly said happily. Tonks smiled.

Fred laughed. "Your hair is brilliant," he noted. Tonks rolled her eyes in indifference. She knew Fred and George had their eyes on Tonks for some of their 'experiments' for the joke shop they planned to open. She'd refused to this point out of fear, and according to Ginny, she was right to do it.

"Dinner's not until seven, so we're having pea soup for lunch," Molly said. Tonks grinned. She hadn't eaten at her parents' house.

"I'll eat in a bit," Tonks said. "Seen Remus anywhere?"

Molly shook her head, but Sirius cleared his throat. Tonks looked in his direction. "He's in the library. Not so hungry," he said. Pointing back down the hall. Sirius winked at Tonks and she, in turn, nodded in gratitude and turned on her heel.

Sirius counted to three in his head and stood. "Well, I have a few things to take care of, so I'll have a second helping of your exquisite soup in a bit, Molly…"

* * *

"Remus?" Tonks called out softly, peering into the dimly-lit library. Indeed, he was there, just as Sirius had instructed. He sat in a loveseat thumbing through some volume he'd gotten off the self. The fireplace was the only thing lighting the room. Upon hearing his name, Remus put the book aside.

"Dora? Why aren't you with your family today?" he asked. Tonks felt a little better knowing he was again on 'Dora' terms with her.

"My Dad's Muggle relatives are there, and I couldn't withstand more than an hour of it," she said. Remus smiled.

"Are they as bad as Harry's Muggle relations?" he asked. Tonks shook her head.

"Similar, but they actually acknowledge my existence and know they can't just ignore me into exile," Tonks said. "But they do try to keep magic out of their everyday conversations. And they have strange fascinations with braces and nail polish."

Remus chuckled under his breath. "Sounds like I wouldn't have stayed long either."

Tonks looked at her feet and walked further into the small room. "Listen, Remus, I think we need to talk."

Remus was silent as Tonks took a seat in the chair across from his. "I want to know what you find wrong with me."

Remus looked at her oddly. "Don't look at me like that! Sirius told me every girl he tried setting you up with had something wrong with them, and that was why you never went out with them again!"

Remus looked down at his feet. "Dora, I—"

"—let me finish! All I want to know is what you find wrong with me. Then, I promise you, I will be satisfied if your excuse is legitimate, and I will never bother you with my silly infatuation again!"

"I agree, but—"

"—and even if you have a good excuse, Remus, I don't think it's fair that you put me down in front of everyone after this. Bear in mind, we still need to be professional, for the sake of the Order of the Phoenix! We can't let emotions get in the way of my work at the Ministry, and your duties to the group as well, whatever they may be—"

"—I love you too—"

"—and what's more, I am a human being with feelings too. Even when you put me down in a moment, I got this for you for Christmas," Tonks said, holding out the pendant. Remus got to his feet and gingerly took it from her.

"Because that's who I am. I also don't want this to ruin our friendship. You were one of the first people to make me feel like I belonged here. I thank you for that, strictly professionally! So, you know what? Don't even mention what you find wrong with me, I can't let my feelings for you get in the way of work. I hope you like your gift, and I'll see you at dinner!" Tonks said roughly, spinning swiftly on her heel and heading for the door.

Suddenly, she paused and spun back to face Remus, who was smiling tenderly at her.

"What was that you said?" Tonks asked. Remus had to chuckle. Tonks took a step back into the room.

"You're right. We can't let our emotions get in the way of our work. But—" Remus stopped for a moment to clasp the dragon-tooth around his neck. "—ever since that day at St. Mungo's, I've felt terrible. And that was because I was wrong. And it scared me."

"Afraid? You? Of what?" Tonks asked, walking ever so slowly back towards Remus.

"Of getting into something I'd regret later," Remus whispered. Tonks smiled as she made her way right next to him.

"And are you going to regret this later?" Tonks whispered back. Remus kept smiling.

"Oh yes, very much so," Remus joked. Taking her hand in his and pulling something out of his pocket, placing it in her hand. It was a ring with a crescent moon-shaped light blue stone. Tonks gasped.

"It was mine when I was a Hogwarts student. Sirius, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew and I wore them on chains around our necks. Sirius' stone was dark and purple and had a stone shaped like a paw, James' was yellow in the shape of a pair of antlers, and Peter's was green in the shape of a mouse."

Tonks stared at it. "Moony…" she muttered. She put the ring on her left ring finger. "I don't know what to say."

"Say you forgive me for the way I brushed you aside before," Remus asked. Tonks grinned widely, showing every tooth to Remus.

"I forgave you a week ago, Remus. I really did," Tonks said.

Neither of them noticed Sirius standing in the doorway, waving his wand above their heads. A small sprig of mistletoe was forming, and growing with every wave.

They looked up at the growing sprig at the same moment. Tonks laughed. "Someone should tell Kreacher there's a Nargle infestation in this room," she said. Remus looked at her oddly.

"Nargles? Surely you still don't believe in them," Remus said. Tonks sighed.

"Remus, right now, I'll believe anything."

And with that, Tonks kissed Remus again. Sirius quietly slipped out of the room and shut the door behind him.

* * *

_**A/N: **__For those who review this chapter goes one romantic moment under the mistletoe with your favorite Order of the Phoenix member! Also, a bonus to anyone who can figure out the significance of the names Ellie, Vera, and Jennings: a full-out Christmas snog and a carton of eggnog with your favorite Order member! _


	13. Wine and Kwishee

As the year waned on, and the prospect of 1996 loomed in the air, Tonks could not have been happier if she was the Queen of the World. She had a boyfriend at long last in Remus Lupin.

The rest of that Christmas, as assumed, had gone just swimmingly, and it was as if Tonks was on some sort of high. After the Weasleys and Harry had gone to bed, Sirius called Remus and Tonks into the kitchen, where he had three glasses of wine waiting. Not firewhiskey. Not beer. But wine.

"I thought a toast might be in order," Sirius said. Remus smiled at Tonks and touched the dragon-tooth around his neck. Tonks looked at it for a moment and touched the ring on her finger. If only he knew the wish she'd made for when he took it off!

"Wine? Very classy, Padfoot," Remus remarked. "It's not spiked with anything poisonous, is it?"

Tonks rolled her eyes. "You really think he'd kill us on Christmas?"

"Yes," Remus said bluntly, nodding his head once. Sirius laughed.

"No, it's actually imported Amazonian Python Wine. One of my dear old Mumsie's favorites," Sirius sighed. "But after your taste buds are numbed, you don't taste a thing."

"Why not your preferred firewhiskey, then?" Tonks asked, making a grab for Remus' hand.

"This occasion calls for something different. Plus, this shit comes at ninety galleons a bottle, so it's pretty damn fancy."

He handed a glass to Tonks, and one to Remus. He picked up the third and raised it in the air. "To Moony and Tonks in hopes that you'll be popping out babies by this time next year!" Sirius said and took a sip. Tonks blushed deep red and looked at Remus, whose face was actually one of deathly fear.

Tonks groaned loudly. "Please, Sirius, I don't want children anytime soon, and bear in mind, we just had our first….second…kiss. To talk of marriage and children now is ridiculous."

Tonks looked at Remus again, who looked much relieved.

Sirius nodded and raised his glass again in surrender. "Fine, then. To Tonks and Remus, may you at least be hitting the bed four times a week by this time next year!"

Tonks looked at Remus. He still looked embarrassed. But Tonks figured he had to be satisfied with this next toast, so she took a sip of the Python wine. She suddenly spat it out, giving Sirius a wine shower. The taste was revolting, just like one of her own Nasty-Mouth Hexes.

"I warned you," Sirius said. Tonks was ready to barf.

"I need water!"

Remus started laughing. Tonks had to admit, his laugh was melodic. Once she got the taste of Amazonian Python out of her mouth, she was going to harmonize with his laugh.

* * *

Tonks was very disappointed to see that Remus never took off the dragon-tooth necklace as the New Year began. She assumed that it was because he just liked it so much. But if he never took it off, then she'd never sleep with him, which, she confessed, she wanted every day. But after a few days, Tonks resolved not to bother thinking about it. She was being somewhat selfish with thinking about sex with Remus. She had him. That was enough for her, for now.

On January 3rd, the Weasleys were back at the Burrow, and the children were back at school. Tonks had a rough day at the Ministry trying to fight back a new bill that was about to become a law, a law stating that werewolves could not hold a medical profession of any form. Although that was an implied law already, it was never official, and Tonks' (or rather, Colette's) new cause was werewolf rights, even after Remus confessed the new ordinance didn't really bother him.

Tonks' rent was due in a week, and she didn't feel like converting her galleons to pounds that day, so instead she went to Grimmauld Place to collapse on the bed in the small room she'd slept in for her first few months in the Order. Her hair was minty green, her lazy color. She went to the bed and fell into a deep sleep in no time at all.

But only for a half hour. Tonks was just beginning her deep dream, where she saw herself standing in front of a large, wispy-looking curtain, staring at a little blue-haired boy on the other side, when she felt a hand on her cheek, caressing her softly. Tonks opened her eyes. Remus was sitting on the edge of the bed, caressing her cheek.

Tonks gasped. "Remus!!"

Remus leapt back. "Oh sorry, I thought you were just meditating!"

"Meditating?"

"Wide awake, but with your eyes closed. I do that a lot myself. Very relaxing," Remus noted. Tonks sat up and smiled.

"No, I had a hard day. The Wizengamot passed the new anti-werewolf ordinance and I got quite pissed over it."

Remus sighed. "Horrible as it is, I never intended on being a Healer," Remus said. "It was when they overturned the 'Don't Ask, Don't Howl' policy and made a background check for lycanthropy required that was the hit that got to me. Why did that make a hard day for you?"

"Because Colette is a werewolf-rights advocate. She HAD to have a hard day today," Tonks said. "This spy business is draining!" Tonks put her hands on Remus' shoulders. There was no sign of the chain that held the dragon-tooth. Her heart skipped a beat, until she moved her hand and exposed part of his shoulder, where the chain came into sight. It had just slipped lower. Her shoulders dropped.

Remus kissed Tonks. "I appreciate that, you know. Even though it's a lost cause."

"Don't say that!" Tonks said. "Considering this time last year werewolves were my worst fear on Earth and now I'm a werewolf-rights fighter, and the girlfriend of one—"

"—how true," Remus said. "My, the tide has turned."

Tonks lowered her lips to the little notch in Remus' neck and kissed it tenderly. Remus sighed softly as she did so.

"You know, it occurred to me, we're together, but we haven't been on a first date," Tonks said. Remus nodded.

"We've both been busy," he said.

"What have you been doing, exactly? Trying to hide the good silver from Kreacher?" Tonks asked. Remus hadn't been on duty in a long time, seeing as there really was little need. 4 Privet Drive was out for the school year, and Emmeline and Hestia were staying in Hogsmeade for an indefinite period for extended duty.

Remus turned away from Tonks for a moment, looking conflicted.

"Talking with Dumbledore," Remus said. "I might have a new mission coming later this year."

Tonks moaned. "Oh, that's it?"

"It's a little more than a typical week of duty, Dora," Remus sighed. "I really shouldn't tell you anything. But it's a lot like what you're doing."

"Espionage?" Tonks choked, her heart skipping about three beats. The task that was so hard and so exhausting, it was something she wouldn't wish on anyone in the Order (other than maybe Snape). "Oh Remus, don't!"

"Nothing's certain yet, of course. If it comes through, I'd go on duty later in the summer, but let's not count our chickens, Dora. Let's forget it now."

Tonks nodded and leaned up to kiss Remus. Remus put his large hand on the back of her head and ran his fingers through her minty green hair as it turned pink. The kiss got deeper, and deeper. Tonks felt her feet freeze.

"We'll be okay," she breathed. Remus ran his hands down the sides of her body until he reached her hips. Then he crept his hands up under her shirt and moved them over her small breasts. Tonks groaned. It hurt the way he was fondling her, because being a week away from her period, Tonks' breasts had been stiff and sore. Remus paused.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked. Tonks didn't move. He did have a rough touch.

Tonks didn't know exactly what to say. He was hurting her. But…why did it also make her feel so good? She felt her insides were about ready to explode. In the best possible way.

Tonks shook her head and moaned gently, pleading for him to continue by kissing just underneath his earlobe. She could feel Remus stir as she did so. Bingo. She'd just found his hot spot! Tonks decided to 'experiment' a little more, and she gently licked the same spot with the very edge of her tongue. Remus trembled significantly. Tonks smiled as she repeated the same action. She then realized Remus' reflex for her licking his earlobe was gripping her breasts a little tighter, and she gasped for breath. He certainly had a…strong grip.

Tonks lowered herself onto her back and let Remus lay over her and go further with her. The world around them seemed to be melting into one large fuzzy piece of thick air. Tonks was getting very hot, except for her feet, which felt like they could've been embedded in blocks of ice. Tonks wondered if this was going to be what she was hoping for. He didn't get a chance to move beyond second base, however, and it was her fault.

Tonks had begun to undo the clasp on the dragon-tooth pendant, when Remus suddenly made a wrong move, and Tonks felt a worse pain shoot up from her chest. She screamed lightly, and Remus froze in the position he was in. Tonks had almost gotten the clasp off. But not quite.

Remus sat up and turned away from Tonks, embarrassed. "I am hurting you."

"No!" Tonks said, sitting up and kissing the back of Remus' shoulder from behind. Remus pulled away from her.

"I knew it would be like this," Remus muttered. "I think we're moving too fast."

Tonks flopped back on the bed, upset. "Remus, no."

"It's only been a week for us, and here we are, on our backs with my hands up your shirt."

"Remus, I don't mind, really."

"I do," Remus said suddenly. "This is going against my better judgment. I'm not respecting you and your body, nor am I respecting mine."

"You're saying it's all your fault we were three minutes away from making the Dragon with Two Backs?" Tonks groaned. "It's not. It takes two to tango!"

"Do you mind if we take things slower?" Remus said. "Like you said, we haven't even had a first date yet!"

Tonks sat up and maneuvered her hands under her shirt to re-hook her bra. "Fine. Love can wait a while." She smiled at Remus, who nodded and sighed. "We're both really busy," Tonks added.

"I know, but leave it all to me," Remus said, smiling. "I already have something in mind that will knock your socks off."

Tonks watched longingly as he left the room, not even waiting to kiss her goodbye.

* * *

Another week passed. Nothing happened. The dragon-tooth necklace never came off. The Ministry continued to make Tonks want to slit throats. So much denial. So much incredibly stupid and ignorant denial. Not to mention, Tonks had the creepy feeling Percy Weasley was falling for her. She's made the stupid mistake of walking into his office asking for a 'moment of his time' as Colette the day after she heard he had broken up with Penelope Clearwater. He took this as a pass, and he decided to take the bait that wasn't there. Completely disgusted whenever he spoke to her, Tonks chose to avoid him as much as humanely possible.

The early afternoon of January 19th, Tonks was just beginning her afternoon shift. He schedule was very dull, but nevertheless she had four hours of dull work to do. It was almost as if her induction had never happened. Kingsley approached her at her desk an hour or after lunch.

"You're off now, Colette," he said. Tonks looked up from her desk with an odd look.

"What? I'm not off until six," Tonks muttered.

"It's Independence Day, Colette," Kingsley said, winking. Still confused, Tonks decided to take advantage of this opportunity and to scat without another word of protest. However, she hadn't gotten thirty feet out of the Ministry, when she felt a soft hand grab her wrist, and she felt the familiar feel of Side-Along Apparation. She was being kidnapped.

Tonks didn't even get a chance to scream as the world around her reformed itself. Once it became solid, Tonks fell to her knees in what looked like a lonely and beautiful place. It was a small cottage that looked like it came out of a story book picture.

"Where are—" Tonks whipped her head around, and to her relief, it was actually Remus who'd 'kidnapped' her. Tonks smiled.

"You told Kingsley to let me off!" she accused. Remus bowed his head in mock submission.

"Guilty as charged!" he confessed. Tonks chuckled and turned to look back at the little cabin.

"What is this place?"

"Shell cottage. It was where I lived before Sirius took me in at Headquarters. My mum and I lived here after my Dad died. Because I don't live here anymore but still own it, I think I might give it to whoever needs a house first," Remus said.

"Why don't you still live here?" Tonks asked. "It's out of the crowded city, away from everyone—"

"—considering these times, Dora, I don't think being away from everyone and by yourself would be the best idea," Remus explained. Tonks nodded knowingly.

"So who are you giving it to?" Tonks asked as she and Remus moved towards the cottage. He shrugged.

"I suggested to Molly if Bill was ever short on rent money, he could always take it. Molly didn't like the idea of her eldest son having his own house. I think it made her feel old."

Tonks laughed. "So, what are we doing here anyway?"

"Our first date awaits us inside," Remus explained, holding out his hand to Tonks, who took it. She allowed Remus to lead her into the house, which was small and somewhat homely, but very neatly kept.

At the small kitchen table sat a small luncheon, all set up. Tonks felt like a princess as Remus pulled out a chair for her and she sat down. "So, why now of all times? I should be working. Kingsley can only cover me for so long, and Mad Eye will—"

"—have you ass for a hat. You say that all the time," Remus aid. Tonks blushed.

"Sorry."

"No need to apologize," Remus crooned as he took his seat. "There's a chocolate cake in the oven for dessert, and I made some Muggle dish that fascinated me called quiche. It's eggs and spinach in a pie crust—"

"—oh! Kwi-shee!" Tonks blurted out. Remus looked at her funny. Tonks rolled her eyes.

"Mum made it all the time while I was living at home. But all my life, she's pronounced it kwi-shee, and my father hasn't bothered to correct her."

Remus laughed. "Well, I hope you enjoy the kwi-shee, then! I worked hard at it. I cook decently enough for any single man, but when it's a date, I really couldn't tell how 'good' is good enough."

Tonks took the first bite, and an extremely pleasant taste filled her mouth. Remus was a genius. Andromeda could cook, but her quiche was always a little bland. This pie had a rich flavor, and Tonks rushed to take her second and third bites. Remus could tell by the way she plowed through her meal that she approved.

"You know," Tonks said once half her slice was gone. "This looks an awful lot like where I lived until I was six when the Death Eaters attack and burned it down."

The expression on Remus face changed. "Oh?"

"I can barely remember it, and sometimes I wish I had a Pensieve so I could remember it, but I can remember a cat sometimes in my dreams, and a pink bedroom. Then, after Fenrir attacked, Mum and dad just found a new place, being too lazy to rebuild the old one."

"Dora?"

"Yes, Remus?"

"D…did they ever confirm it was Fenrir who attacked you when you were six?" Remus asked, despite already knowing the answer and more.

Tonks shook her head. "I don't think so. I remember Mum warning me about him because of the times, you know? I didn't know any other werewolves, and I never got a clear sight of his markings, so Mum and I reported him to the Ministry. Why?"

Remus looked self-consciously at the floor. Tonks felt a small pit of worry at the bottom of her stomach. "Remus?"

"Nothing, just curious is all," Remus said. He buried his gaze back in his plate like a shy child. Tonks' worry did not go away.

Something was wrong with Remus. And she wanted to know more than anything what it was.

* * *

_**A/N:** The reviewers of this chapter get a free hit at JK Rowling for killing their favorite Order member: Sirius, Remus, or Tonks (or whoever you choose) and if they draw blood, their chosen Order member comes back to life! So hit well and hit hard and in the name of your favorite! LOL...can you not tell I'm running out of ideas?_


	14. The Dark Side of Remus

"Sometimes I wonder why I'm a wizard, Tonksie…"

Tonks rolled her eyes and she entered the kitchen at 12 Grimmauld Place. "Oh no, Sirius. You're drunk again."

"Damn….damn right I'm drunk! What else is…is…is there for me to do? Everyone thinks I kill people except you…and then you….you don't give me duty!" Sirius moaned, taking another swing out of the green bottle. "I…just CLEAN the Headquarters! I'm a glorified House Elf here…."

"Master always had a way with words," groaned Kreacher, who was polishing a wooden chair at the other end of the table. "What would poor Mistress say if—"

"—KREACHER! SHUT UP AND GO CLEAN MOONY'S ROOM!! NOW!!" Sirius hollered, taking Tonks by surprise. Kreacher gave a little meager bow.

"Yes, Master." He said reluctantly, leaving the room muttering a hundred different curses under his breath.

Tonks watched the ugly little thing go, then she cautiously walked over to Sirius' side and patted his shoulder.

It was now February 5th. Tonks had only been able to steal the occasional kiss from Remus while in passing, and her spy duties increasingly got heavier. Remus was given the occasional odd duties in Hogsmeade with Emmeline and Hestia and, when not in Hogsmeade, he was at the Burrow consoling the Weasleys, who had recently found out that Bill was in a relationship, and Molly feared that this would lead to him leaving her. As a result, Sirius spent more and more time by himself at Headquarters, and when Tonks came to visit, she nearly always found him passed out drunk on the floor somewhere, or damn close to it. The bottle was now his only friend, or so it appeared.

"You're doing this more and more, and it worries me. I don't think you get drunk solely because you're bored," she suggested, taking a seat in the chair next to him. "After all, it's February. You could always sneak over to my place and help me decorate for the Valentine's Day dinner I'm hosting."

"Oh, so now I'm YOUR House Elf?" Sirius suggested. Tonks smacked herself in the head for saying what she did.

"Oh Merlin, no!" Tonks quickly dismissed. "I was just suggesting, if you were bored…"

"I'm worried, okay?" Sirius blurted out before taking a swig of the bottle, only to find it empty. Sirius dropped it to the floor, and it shattered at Tonks' feet. "My godson, James, is out there when Moldevort is…is…out there hunting for him…and the toad princess is…is…running his life and watching his steps while he's trying to stalk her constantly…"

"Harry."

"Huh?"

"Your godson's name is Harry."

"Yes, I know that!" Sirius muttered, rubbing his temple.

"You're way too drunk. You're talking nonsense," Tonks said. Sirius shook his head and looked at Tonks.

"So, Moony gave you his ring, eh?" Sirius slurred. "The one he used at school…" Tonks raised an eyebrow.

"That was a month and a half ago," Tonks replied.

"I know, I know, but you know what it's for…right?" Sirius muttered.

Tonks looked at Sirius curiously. "I thought they just matched your nicknames," she said. Sirius shook his head.

"No, Prongs wouldn't wear jewelry unless….unless…it had some sneaky purpose! You know Prongs, Tinks! You went to school with him!"

"No, he was dead before I even went to school," Tonks said. "And it's Tonks, not—"

"—oh do shut up about your name! It's a pretty name, so get over the fact that you're not a Jane Doe or a Mary Sunshine!! You…you know what your name means? It means a gift from the fairies…and it's damn beautiful, so suck it UP!" Sirius moaned. Tonks bit her lip.

"Sorry," Tonks muttered meekly.

"Anyway, these ringies…these rings will set off when another one of the ring wearers is in trouble. Like, if I got caught in a prank, Prongs, Moony, and Wormtail were notified with these things so they could help," Sirius said, pointing to the paw-print ring on his finger. "The stones…they'll light up when someone's in danger."

"Really?" Tonks said, trying to sound like she believed him in his drunken stupor.

"Yeah, Prongs doesn't work anymore, and because the Ratfink betrayed us…his ring won't work. So now it's me and Moony. Moony and me. Meeny and moo!" Sirius uttered a small drunken giggle. "And now if you're in trouble, my ring will light up for you…"

"Me? Why?" Tonks asked, still humoring him. He was better off a stupid drunk than a violent drunk.

"Because it was a gift of love for you," Sirius said. "I was going to give mine to my gir…girlfriend, but then good ol' Wormy killed her off in…the crossfire outside this very house."

Tonks looked at Sirius with sadness. She'd heard him mutter something about Bastet Pollux every now and then, and her mother knew Bastet vaguely when Sirius would bring her around before Tonks was born. She knew that Bastet had been mistaken for a Muggle when the Ministry released the report that a dozen of them had been killed when Sirius allegedly went after Wormtail viciously because he wanted to 'finish the job.' Remus had said later that was the only piece of evidence that kept him slightly doubtful of Sirius' guilt: he'd just proposed to her…so why would he kill her off?

Tonks sighed woefully. "Sirius, I think you need some—"

Sirius interrupted Tonks' sentence by slumping onto the table, passed out cold. Tonks rolled her eyes and stood up.

"—sleep."

Tonks decided to just leave him there and to go back to her flat.

* * *

Tonks didn't even realize it was Valentine's Day until she found an arrow piercing her wall with a red note attached to it early that morning. Gasping, seeing the wizard's traditional way of sending a Valentine's Morning greeting, Tonks shot to her feet and paced the room. She'd been so damn obsessed with work lately, she'd almost forgotten she wouldn't be single this year for the holiday that either made you feel great or feel like a pile of hippogriff shit.

She didn't even bother to look at the note tied to the arrow until she decided that she'd just avoid Remus and pretend she had work. Sure, it wasn't the most mature of choices, but Tonks loved Remus too much to show up in front of him totally empty handed on Valentine's Day. When she did untie the note and read it, she felt her legs go soft on her, and she had to sit down.

_Dora,_

_I told Moody to give you the day off, so I know you're not working…_

Fuck, Tonks thought. There went the avoidance tactic.

…_could you please be at Headquarters after supper tonight? Say, around 7?_

_Signed, Moony_

_PS: It has nothing to do with Valentine's Day._

Tonks read the somewhat odd note twice. He was inviting her over AFTER supper, so it wasn't a dinner date. Then, he went on to say that it had nothing to do with Valentine's Day. Was this a trick? It sounded incredibly suspicious.

Remus had been acting a little off since the first date. He wasn't acting as odd around Tonks, but it was clear to her he almost seemed conflicted. She really wanted to ask him why he was so…off track. Maybe Sirius' perpetually depressed state was rubbing off on him too? Tonks hoped not. Sirius had been driving her crazy. She didn't need another Sirius to mop barf up after.

In the end, Tonks opted to go for it. After all, what harm could it do, whatever the hell Remus wanted? And it WAS Valentine's Day. And "Moony" WAS a tricky Marauder like Sirius and James Potter. Maybe some huge surprise awaited her, only to make her feel even crappier about the fact that she's totally neglected the holiday and forgotten to get her boyfriend a freaking gift. She had the feeling she'd be slapping herself before the night was over.

Once Tonks got inside Headquarters, she was met almost immediately b y Sirius, who looked odd to Tonks. Wait…was he SOBER? Tonks shook her head to make sure she was seeing clearly. She just wasn't used to seeing Sirius sober before, but definitely did not smell of alcohol, and he didn't waver from side to side or have that weird scowl he got when he was intoxicated.

"You're right on time," Sirius said without any humor in his voice. Tonks looked around.

"Remus called me here," Tonks said. Sirius shook his head.

"No, that was me, but it's about Remus, and I did it that way so as not to frighten you off."

Tonks gritted her teeth. "What is it? Something wrong with Remus? Is this just a cruel trick? Because it's not funny!"

Sirius took Tonks' hand gently in his and led her to the kitchen. "It's almost moonrise, so we need to be quick with the talking," he said. Tonks was utterly confused.

"What is it?" Tonks asked.

"Tonks, tonight's the full moon," Sirius said. Tonks bit her lip, realizing he was right. The full moon fell on Valentine's Day this year.

"So, why did you send me a note in his handwriting, telling me to come here?" Tonks asked. "Where is he? Is he okay?"

Sirius nodded. "I'll take you to where he is in a moment. But I sent the arrow to you not to scare you off. Listen carefully, okay?"

Tonks nodded, still completely lost as to what Sirius was getting at, and she had to work hard to keep her mind from wandering to where Remus was, halfway through a painful transformation into his wolf form.

"Tonks, I want you to see him through a transformation night," Sirius said. "Usually, I do, but I'm sure Remus has told you how difficult it can be to see a loved one in such a state."

Tonks flashed back to her first mission, and how Remus had to leave midway through to transform and then subsequently to recover. She nodded. "Of course he did. Why do you want to make me do it?"

"Because you two are getting serious," he replied. "I can't babysit my friend forever, and I think if I had to trust anyone with him, it would be you. It had nothing to do with whether I WANT to help him or not, because I do, but you need to know what you're doing too, in case—"

Sirius stopped himself, but Tonks could've sworn he was preparing himself to say "in case you get married."

Tonks nodded. "I agree."

Sirius smiled. "Good, and don't think this is because I'm abandoning my best friend," he warned. Tonks shook her head.

"I understand everything!" she said.

Sirius nodded. "Now, you do understand this will not be easy. It will be hard for you and humiliating for him, but it does get easier with time," he said.

Tonks had never seen Sirius being so protective of her before. She barely knew him as family. She wondered if this sudden fatherly attitude had anything to do with Harry back at Hogwarts.

"He obviously can't go to the Shrieking Shack anymore, because it's on school grounds. So there's a place about twenty miles from here where he goes, and I come with him. I'll Apparate there with you to show you where it is, and you'll spend the night and help him Apparate back here in the morning, seeing as he'll be in too weak of a mental state to Apparate on his own."

Tonks nodded solemnly and took a deep, brave breath as Sirius stood up and held his hand to Tonks. She took it after one m ore moment of preparation, and the pair were off in a heartbeat.

* * *

Tonks and Sirius materialized in front of a large windmill in a small clearing surrounded by a thin, white shield, which was what Tonks recognized as an Impenetrable Shield Charm, which could not be entered or exited through aside from Apparation by the caster or anyone the caster Apparated with. She could still feel the soft, chilling breeze on her back, however. The field was covered in snow. Paw prints already made tracks in the snow, showing Remus had been pacing. Moonrise had been a good half hour ago.

"The windmill is small and bare, but cast a heating charm or two over the door and you'll be fine. I'm usually a dog in here, so there's only straw—"

"—oh, no worries, I can improvise," Tonks said, wrapping her winter robe tightly around her shoulders. Sirius produced a blanket in a small bag he'd brought along. Tonks took it gratefully.

"He's probably behind the windmill, he likes being in the shadows more than in direct moonlight," Sirius said after a silent moment.

Tonks felt as afraid as she looked. Sirius patted her shoulder. "He's back in human form by sunup, and a set of clothes is in the windmill."

"He won't hurt me, will he?" Tonks heard herself asking in a childishly high and small voice.

Sirius shook his head. "He took his Wolfsbane Potion all this week, so he'll be fine," he confirmed. "There are also a few table scraps in case he bothers you while you sleep. He won't try and eat you, he'll just sniff around…although he DID piss on me once."

Tonks didn't think the circumstances called for such a joke, but Sirius was so immune to the fear of the task, she supposed he'd cracked worse jokes than that.

"Why is he all the way out here? Why don't you just lock him in his room at night, or let him wander around the house like a pet wolf?" Tonks asked.

"We tried that once or twice before you were inducted, but we moved him outdoors after he nearly ate Kreacher last May," Sirius said. "And I would've let him finish the little bugger off, but Remus has such a fragile disposition, he wouldn't want to have come out of a transformation having eaten a rabbit. He insisted on this spot."

"He nearly ATE Kreacher?? But I thought you said—"

"—Kreacher provoked him, the little jerk. As long as you don't go prodding at him with a salad fork, you should be fine."

Tonks had to choke back a laugh.

"I'll see you and Remus in the morning, and if there is trouble, don't worry," Sirius said, holding up his hand, on which the pa-print ring gleamed. "I'll be alerted."

Tonks nodded and watched as Sirius Disapparated back to the safety of Grimmauld Place, and left Tonks alone with her lupine boyfriend. Tonks decided to get herself settled in the old windmill for the night, and if Remus came to her, so be it. If not, then Tonks decided to not go hunting for him.

She didn't know what was getting into her. She was a well-trained Auror, and in love with the man she was currently looking after. Why was she still letting her childhood fear come over her and control her like this?

Scolding herself for being such chicken-shit, Tonks managed to use her wand to arrange the straw into a sizeable bean-bag chair-ish piece of furniture that she could curl up in. She then cast the heat charms and took off her cloak. She set the table scraps aside and looked out into the night. It was quite and calm. She noticed a small cabin nearby, and she suddenly gasped as she saw a young Muggle couple and their small son walk out of the cabin, the little boy flailing to show them something. Tonks held her breath, but the little boy stopped right at the Shield Charm, and turned to a small, lopsided snow man he's constructed himself. The two Muggle parents looked proud as the boy showed his creation off.

That was quite a relief. Sirius must have made the windmill invisible.

A few hours went by, and Tonks grew more and more nervous. After all, sooner or later, Tonks would have to face Remus in werewolf form, which, according to Sirius, was the hard part of being there. Tonks could only imagine seeing the man she loved as the species she'd feared since age six.

She decided venturing out around to the dark side of the windmill and seeing Remus eye-to-eye would be better than being woken up by his wet nose at three in the morning. Taken one huge breath, Tonks left the warmth of the windmill and quickly dashed around to where the windmill made a shadow against the foot or so of snow.

And there he was. Tonks felt a pang of heaviness grip her heart. Remus was there, covered from head to toe in wolf's fur. He was digging in the snow, his paw in the hole he'd made. Tonks was eager to look him in the eye. As if he could read her thoughts, the wolf's head popped up and turned to look at her. Tonks suddenly felt as if she could cry. His eyes were still his. But he was trapped unwillingly in a body that wasn't his. Sirius had warned her about this. Even some of the most level-headed people couldn't bear seeing a friend in this way. But Tonks felt herself just flooding with sudden emotion that tugged at her heartstrings and made her feel somewhat sick.

She couldn't look anymore. She turned before she cried out loud and ran to the house. The wolf looked rather clueless as to why she was suddenly leaving him.

Once back in the windmill, Tonks flopped herself on the pile of straw and cried. It was so unfair! It wasn't right ho such a wonderful kind, innocent man was forced to become something so hideous when he didn't want to! How could anyone or ANYTHING willingly want to inflict pain and torture of this magnitude on such a wonderful, kind, caring soul when he didn't do anything to him?

In that moment, Tonks would've done anything to be able to find Fenrir Greyback and kill him for doing this to her Remus, and for nearly doing the same to her.

Tonks' crying fit was interrupted by a strange feeling on her back. She quickly realized it was Remus pawing gently at her back. Tonks flipped over, and there he was, sitting up obediently and benignly, looking as if he'd done something wrong and not realized what he did hurt her.

Tonks shook her head. "You aren't bad. You did nothing wrong," she whispered.

Remus whined a moment, then, instead of turning to go back out into the fresh air, he walked down to the opposite side of the windmill and used some of the stray straw Tonks didn't use for her hay bed to make a little nest for himself. Then he curled up in his own little pile and lay down. Tonks smiled through her tears.

Suddenly, as if for no reason at all, she felt okay.

* * *

_**A/N: **To those who review this chapter go an evening with your favorite Order member in Remus' windmill! _


	15. Breathless Night

Ever since she first realized her love for Remus was more than just a girly fling, Tonks had dreamed of waking up in the morning to a naked Remus at her side, curled up against her and sleeping.

But that was before she actually woke up to him naked amid the pile of straw she used for a bed. After that, she vowed to poke her eyes out.

It wasn't that Remus wasn't bad-looking or had a bad body. It was just, he had blood trickling from the many cuts he had along his body. Lots of blood, and the fact that Remus looked paler than the moon he dreaded made the blood pop out even more. Not to mention, Tonks was looking at her first full-frontal view of Remus. And he was passed out, so he made no obvious move to cover his 'manly parts' up. Tonks had the feeling this would affect how she looked at him when she finally slept with him.

It was this thought that reminded her of the Dragon-Tooth pendant, and how it was no longer around Remus' neck. Damn, she thought as she shot up and quickly left the windmill to go look around the surrounding area for a sign of it. She found it over near where a big patch of fur, ripped clothes, and a few spots of blood lied. But, the clasp wasn't broken. Tonks picked it up and examined it. There was no fur caught in the chain either. She was touched. He'd taken it off so as not to harm it while he transformed. Tonks slipped it into her pocket.

"So much for the wish," she muttered to herself as she made her way back to the windmill. Remus was still lying senseless in the hay, stark naked. Only he had slightly shifted his position to what was probably more comfortable for him, but more awkward for Tonks…he'd spread his legs apart. Wide apart.

"Okay, Remus, as much as I've dreamed of you lying in such a position," Tonks muttered under her breath, throwing her own jacket over his crotch. "This is just humiliating and disgraceful for you and downright scary for me. So awake or not, let's get back to Headquarters, and Sirius can handle this. He's more skilled in your particular ballpark, I'd say."

Tonks realized she was rambling. And what was worse, she was rambling to no one. She grabbed Remus' wrist and immediately Apparated the two of them back to the kitchen of Headquarters. Lucky for her, Sirius had made Apparating out of the Shield Charm a hell of a lot easier than Apparating in. When they arrived, Remus was still unconscious. Tonks hollered.

"SIRIUS!! COME QUICK!!"

Footsteps on the staircase followed about ten seconds later, and Sirius emerged in a black fuzzy robe that resembled his fur when he became his dog Animagus form.

"Tonks?"

"He's unconscious…"

"He always is when we come back here," Sirius said shrugging. "He usually doesn't snap out of it before noon."

"He's also….naked," Tonks said bashfully.

Sirius stared at her silently a moment, and suddenly chuckled. "Oh, okay. I was thinking he bit his arm off and you were panicking," he said. "Quite honestly, I'm relieved."

Tonks gritted her teeth and turned a deep crimson as Sirius took Remus' naked body in his arms and began up the stairs. Sirius kept chuckling.

"Maybe you'll make a spot of breakfast for him?" Sirius suggested as he headed up the stairs. "He tends to like something light…"

_Damnit_, thought Tonks. _I'm no fucking good at house spells, and you of all people bloody well know that!_

Nevertheless, she quickly rushed to get some things to make a few hotcakes and some tea. All the while, she had the feeling that Sirius was laughing his ass off at her obvious discomfort upstairs while he was putting his friend in bed.

Tonks could not make a cup of tea to save her life, let alone some special tea Sirius had a note for on the counter. It apparently made moderate use of beetroot, and it helped Remus recover faster and come back sooner and stronger. Tonks didn't even know what the hell beetroot was. So she figured any tea would be fine. Then, the hotcakes were a story of their own. Her mind was miles away, so she ended up burning both sides of the ones she tried to make. Even with her magic, the batter looked grayish green, and she was pretty sure that WASN'T supposed to be the color of hotcake batter. She instead decided hot cereal would suffice, for even SHE could make oatmeal.

Once her less-than-satisfactory breakfast was made for Remus, she slowly crept upstairs. Sirius was in his room, thumbing through what looked like a book of letters. She stood in the doorway, holding the tray with death's grip so as not to spill. Sirius looked up.

"How did you know porridge was what he always eats?" Sirius said. He shook his head in disbelief. Tonks chuckled nervously. "Everyone always tries making hotcakes or waffles for him, and he can't stomach anything too solid right away. I say, Tonks, you'll be picking out your china patterns for the wedding before you know it."

There it was. Sirius hinting at marriage again. She wondered what his deal was with marriage. She wanted to ask, but Sirius motioned for her to leave. Tonks looked at him oddly. He never waved people away. His Mum would probably have been one to wave away. Nevertheless, Tonks obeyed and went down the hall towards Remus' room. The door was slightly ajar. When she nudged the door open, Remus was lying flat in bed, toying with his wand to keep himself occupied. He was making little smoke like shapes float above his head in the air, playing out a scene for him. One was shaped like a young woman running towards an older looking man, who then turned into a wolf. The young woman grew smaller, into a little girl, then suddenly the wolf attacked her, and that was when Remus noted Tonks in the room. The smoke scene disappeared. Remus smiled.

"What a beautiful thing to wake up to in the morning," he said, his voice hinting at a bit of pain and weakness.

Tonks blushed. "Well, I haven't had my hair this way in awhile…" she motioned to her long, stick-straight, cotton-candy blue hair.

"No, I meant the food," Remus said jokingly. "Porridge always warms me up after a terrible night."

"Oh…oh!" Tonks said after a moment. She gently set the tray down on the bedside table and perched herself on the edge of the bed. She ran her thin finger over a fresh scar on Remus' bare chest, an inch or so above his left nipple.

"Thank you for being there last night, Dora," Remus said. "I'm glad Sirius actually brought you around. He made the right choice, his first right choice in what I'm convinced has been years and years. Quite honestly, I'm not really sure that man's ever made a right choice."

Tonks laughed, but then thought about what Remus said. "Wait, you knew I was there?"

Remus nodded. "Of course I did. Taking Wolfsbane ensures it that I only transform physically. It was still me in my mind last night, if not a little more canine-like."

"You were digging in the snow a lot," Tonks nodded. "And you lifted your leg to do your business as well."

Remus chuckled. "Don't think I'm embarrassed to have people see me like that. I'm so used to people watching me piss as a dog anyways."

"I'd be humiliated out of my mind, frankly, and thinking how close I actually came to being like you—" Tonks said. After seeing the expression on Remus' face change, she stopped short. "Oh shit, Remus, I'm sorry. You know how I blurt things out without thinking…"

Remus shook his head. "Quite alright, it's quite alright, Dora," Remus shook off. Tonks suddenly remembered the pendant she'd salvaged. She scooped it out of her pocket and put it back around Remus' neck.

"Did you take it off before you transformed so as not to damage it?" Tonks asked. Remus smiled.

"Yes. I didn't want your lovely present broken."

Tonks smiled and blushed slightly. "I'm flattered. No one would ever think to do that for me."

"Glad to be of service," Remus replied. Tonks' hand crept under the covers and managed to find Remus' hand, lying flat on his stomach. Tonks gently curled her hand around his and woven her fingers in between his own.

"So…uh…what did you think of the after show?" Remus asked, a somewhat mischievous grin lighting up his face suddenly. Tonks knitted her eyebrow.

"What after show?" she asked naively, right before realize he was talking about the morning after. "Oooh," she moaned. "You like lying on your back….and you like spreading your legs apart when you sleep, I see," she said, trying her best to sound cool and impassive to the question. She could feel her cheeks burning with embarrassment.

"Again, something I'm somewhat used to. In school, I'd be carried naked up to the hospital wing by Madam Pomfrey all the time, even after Sirius, James, and Peter joined me in the Shack. They would have to sneak back to Gryffindor Tower and come to visit me as if they'd groggily woken up after a good night's rest," Remus confessed. "And it wouldn't be so hard acting tired sometimes, considering for three fifteen year olds, it was extremely tiring to run around as an animal for a whole night and then have to attend classes the next day."

Tonks nodded. "I never became an animal, but sometimes my friends would make me disguise myself as Sprout, our Head of House, and take them to Hogsmeade after curfew and buy them firewhiskeys, 'as a reward for hard work.'"

"Didn't Rosmerta get suspicious?" Remus asked. Tonks nodded her head.

"But it was business, so she didn't care. Besides, Metamorphmagi are so rare, she wouldn't have been able to come up with that explanation if she wanted to!" Tonks said.

Remus sighed after laughing a bit. "Well, do you mind if I rest a bit?"

Tonks got to her feet and nodded. "Eat up, you need your strength back," she said.

"Thanks Dora."

"I love you, Remus."

"I….I love you to," Remus said after a moment of hesitation that made Tonks' heart stop. Remus leaned back into his pillow and shut his eyes, drifting off to sleep.

Tonks almost wanted to cry as she shut the door behind her. She was met by Sirius in the hallway. "Why does he still hesitate when he says he loves me?" she moaned before retreating back downstairs.

Sirius shrugged, even though he knew the answer.

* * *

Three days went by. Remus slowly regained his energy, and by the fourth day of the waning moon, Tonks had the pleasure of running into Remus one afternoon outside the Ministry, where he was heading in, and she was heading out after a double-shift at work (she was in such a rush to get out of there that she was still Colette in appearance).

Remus was careful to address her as 'Colette', as they were only a few feet away from the main visitor's entrance.

"How was work?" he asked.

"Terrible," Tonks/Colette moaned. "Percy's still making passes at me." Tonks grimaced. Remus laughed. "It's good to hear you laugh," Tonks said dreamily. "I'm glad to see you out and about again."

"Well, it is good to be out and about again," Remus noted. Tonks nodded.

"I'd better get home, because, I was given a lot of paperwork by Shacklebolt," Tonks said, holding up a briefcase at her side reluctantly. "I'll be up until midnight sorting it out!"

Remus seemed to momentarily sulk at this. "That's too bad, because I was about to ask you to…er…help me out with a few things at Headquarters tonight around eight. It'll be quiet, because Sirius will be passed out drunk by six—"

"—I would love to, but not doing this work could get me demoted to House-Elf status in the Auror Department!" Tonks moaned regretfully. She had to turn down time with Remus for her job. How miserable.

"Oh, um, that's fine then," Remus nodded. Tonks noticed a very suspicious-looking twinkle in his eye that she'd seen in Sirius' eye before.

_Shit,_ Tonks thought. _He was planning a surprise date! _

"I have to go home and get started, then," Tonks said, moving quickly on, not even bothering to give Remus a kiss.

* * *

Tonks sat on the floor of her flat, piles of papers and file folders strewn everywhere, skewered into two vague piles. To her left were the undone files, and her right had the finished files. Even now, at nine in the evening, the pile on the left was twice the size of the pile of the right. Tonks' hair was frizzy, ear-length, and ruffled, colored an unpleasant faded orange, one of her stress colors. She hadn't eaten, nor said a word other than low, frustrated mumbles.

A knock on her door brought her temporarily out of her work-focused trance. 'Who is it?" she called.

"Remus," was the reply.

"Oy, Remus! I told you I was busy! I'm practically bleeding quill ink!" she moaned. The door opened anyways. Remus walked in, a picnic basket under his arm.

"Merlin's Beard! It looks like something exploded in here, Dora!" Remus exclaimed.

"That would be my sanity," was Tonks' reply. "This workload screams all-nighter!"

Remus shook his head. "That would be unhealthy," he said. "You missed the Order meeting!"

Tonks groaned. "Oh bollocks," she said. "What happened?"

"Nothing special, just reporting," Remus said. "Mad-Eye covered for you."

Tonks nodded. "There's nothing to report," she said. "Just, more denial, and more estranged-Weasley avoiding. Nothing out of the ordinary."

Remus nodded. "I figured since you didn't even bother stopping by for Molly's stew, you'd skipped supper altogether, so I brought you a little something," he indicated the basket under his arm.

"You didn't have to, I have no time to eat it," Tonks protested. Remus shook his head.

"Make time," Remus commanded. Tonks was taken aback by his sudden assertiveness. She looked around her and decided a little dinner break wouldn't hurt. She sighed. Remus got out his wand and flicked it. The papers suddenly organized themselves into neat piles and set themselves on the kitchenette island. Tonks smiled. She wasn't sorry to see those papers go.

"We'll picnic right here on the floor," Remus proposed. He looked at the fireplace and flicked his wand, putting a small, warming fire in the floo. Tonks smiled and positioned herself opposite Remus. He opened the basket. A whole picnic set itself up, including a bottle of firewhiskey and two generous portions of Molly's chicken stew.

"You really shouldn't have gone to the trouble," Tonks said. Remus grinned.

"After you took care of me last week, I really think I owe you a perfect Valentine's Day," Remus explained. Tonks smirked, not bothering to comment by saying it was February 18th. They sat down and began to eat. Tonks laughed as Remus tucked his cloth napkin into the collar of his shirt.

"Are you really that messy of an eater?" Tonks asked. "You need a bib?"

Remus chuckled. "It's actually a force of habit, Dora," Remus explained. "I did it in school too. I think Sirius said the exact thing you said once during third year."

"Ah, Sirius just doesn't have the poise and manners you have, Remus!" Tonks said. Remus grinned and lifted his glass of firewhiskey.

"Here here!" Remus agreed. Tonks lifted her glass, they toasted, then drank.

"I guess this means Mad-Eye will wear my ass for a hat tomorrow when I come in with only half his work done," Tonks said.

"Was it worth it? The stew?"

"Molly's stew always is," Tonks.

After dinner, Remus quickly cleaned up, but instead of leaving and letting Tonks get back to work, he stayed, and he and Tonks laid on the floor, leaning on the sofa in front of the fireplace with cups of tea. Tonks leaned her head on Remus' shoulder, whose hand was around her, keeping her close to him.

Tonks felt a sudden urge run through her, and she leaned in to Remus' neck and began kissing him softly. Remus didn't protest, instead he moaned softly as Tonks found the spot under his ear again. As she moved about, littering gentle kisses all over his head and neck, she suddenly realized the dragon-tooth pendant was missing. It wasn't even hidden by his shirt collar like last time.

"Where is the pendant I gave you?" Tonks asked breathily as Remus crept his hands under her shirt, like before.

"I took it off. Something inside me told me it would be coming off tonight anyway," Remus said. Tonks felt her heart leap as she felt Remus' rough hand reach her breast again. This time, it didn't hurt. It actually made Tonks moan for more. Remus unhooked her bra as Tonks began to unbutton his shirt. Once again, they were shirtlessly making out. Tonks lowered herself to the floor and let Remus lay over her. She felt his fingers move away from her breasts and towards the fly of her jeans. Tonks let Remus take them off before she began undoing his trousers.

"So…you're really a virgin?" Tonks asked without any breath as Remus' trousers came off.

"Who told you?" he asked.

"Sirius," Tonks answered.

"Ah, what does he know?" Remus answered slyly. Tonks allowed him to continue with her. Their bodies melted into one, just like she'd always imagined. The world melted away as Remus kisses took her further and further from Earth. She'd had sex a few times before, and she thought her first time with Bill Weasley had been wonderful.

But nothing Tonks had ever experienced before could compare to the feelings she was getting now as she and Remus finally made it. It was like her first time all over again, only better. Remus was surprisingly soft and gentle compared to his touch. Tonks was afraid that she was being too rough with Remus in turn, but Remus seemed to have no trouble. And, as if their bodies were as compatible as their souls, they came at the same time. Tonks had previously thought that feat was physically impossible.

But it was already pretty evident that tonight, nothing was impossible.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Okay, for all those who endured that little piece of necessary fluff, and to those who review this chapter (I've noted the reviews are starting to lag a bit…WHERE IS EVERYONE?!), an in-house movie night with your favorite Order member! Remus loves a good romantic drama to get you in the mood. __Tonks loves action/adventure/mystery movies to mystify the mind. Sirius will go for either romantic comedies or hardcore…you know what I mean! _


	16. Three Months Go By

The first thing that brought Tonks out of her incredibly pleasant sleep was the one sunbeam that hit her right in the eye through the small hole in the curtains. She didn't mind it much. The second thing she noticed was the strong, rough arms around her. The third thing she noticed was that she was on the floor of her apartment stark naked with only a hand-knitted afghan (her mother's work, of course) covering her and the man to whom the arms belong. After that, everything came into focus again. How last night had been the best night of her life to date. How Remus had brought her out of her work-like trance and back to a happier state of being. How the dragon-tooth necklace came off.

Tonks sighed and stirred. She rolled her head over to find Remus was still sleeping like a baby. She rolled onto her side and ran her hand along his chest gently, tracing circles around his nipple and caressing the scars from the recent full moon, still red and sharp against the rest of his translucent skin.

This gentle touch seemed to bring Remus back to a state of consciousness. Moaning quietly, his eyes fluttered open and gazed slowly around the room. He smiled, not even looking at Tonks.

"It's wasn't a dream, then?" he asked. Tonks smiled and laughed quietly.

"No," she answered, fingering his chest some more. A full two or three minutes of pure silence ensued. Tonks wondered what she was supposed to say next.

"Well?"

"Well, what?" Remus asked back. Tonks rolled her eyes.

"What about the post-sex talk?" she asked.

"I don't believe I'm quite familiar with that term."

Tonks chuckled. "Aren't we supposed to lie in each others' arms, stare at the ceiling, and talk in hushed tones the morning after?" Her voice was hopelessly dreamy.

"Well, I'm not sure, you've obviously seen your share of romantic comedy movies," Remus replied.

"That I have," Tonks confessed, kissing the very edge of Remus' shoulder. "But, can we?"

"Won't do any harm, I suppose."

"And Mad-Eye is going to kill me anyway because I never got his paperwork done," Tonks said. "Might as well spend my last hours on Earth with the one I love."

Remus snorted back a small laugh. "If he kills you, then I'll just have to kill him," he said. After another moment of silence, he spoke again. "So, what are we supposed to be talking about in this 'post-sex' talk?"

"I don't know," Tonks mused in her thoughts for a moment. "Where we would be if we weren't here right now…?"

"In bed, waiting for Kreacher's miserable mumbling to wake me up," Remus answered bluntly.

"…our plans for the day…?"

"…not much. Sirius wanted me to help with another boggart that snuck under his bed recently, but that will take all of fifteen minutes."

"…how much we'll miss each other?"

"Muchly," Remus replied simply, kissing Tonks softly on the temple of her forehead. Tonks sighed.

"You're not working with me!" she groaned. Remus chuckled gently. "Well, what do you want to talk about?" Tonks challenged.

"I don't know," Remus shrugged.

Tonks decided to surrender and just enjoy the bliss of being so close to him, naked and peaceful. Even in death, she knew they'd be together, it was the way it HAD to be, after all!

Wait…Tonks was beginning to scare herself with all this death talk, and hinting at life commitment. Commitment wasn't supposed to be in the picture for some time yet. Just because they'd had sex now didn't mean they were going to tie the knot and begin having babies.

Babies…that word suddenly felt so…realistic to Tonks. She'd never picture herself and Bill having children, nor Henry Jameson, the Ravenclaw she'd slept with after she and Bill parted ways. But she saw Remus as having great Daddy potential. He was gentle enough with his partner, imaging how he'd be taking care of a little girl or a little boy, watching them grow to adulthood before their eyes. Then, some day, eighty years from then, they'd be playing with their own grandchildren, and musing over where the time went.

"What time is it?" Remus asked.

"Quarter past nine," Tonks said dreamily, only half in the room.

"Shouldn't you be at work?" Remus asked.

Tonks shook her head. "No. I didn't get the paperwork done. I'll just tell Mad Eye that I got sick."

Remus laughed. "Great answer."

Tonks shifted so she leaned her chin on Remus chest and could look him directly in the eye. "That was the first real time for me."

Remus looked a little surprised. "What about Bill Weasley?"

"He was my first time with intercourse," she confessed. "But we were teenagers, rash and young. This time, it fell right for the first time. With you."

"That's very flattering," Remus blushed.

"It wasn't meant to be flattering. It was meant to be truth."

"Well, I have to confess, even though it was my first time, period, I'm glad to say it was with you. An experience I don't think I'll forget until I die."

Tonks hair went bright, bright pink as she settled her body over his.

* * *

The next three months were total bliss, and Tonks confessed she never ever felt so happy. Now that she and Remus had consummated their relationship, things just seemed to be in a constant state of euphoria. Even work seemed to get easier, despite what was going on in the world of the Order. It had been discovered that Harry Potter had been leading an underground rebellious Defense Against the Dark Arts class against Umbridge and the Ministry, and Dumbledore fled elsewhere, only for Umbridge to take over as Headmistress, causing more havoc at the school.

Regardless, Remus and Tonks continued going out on dates, but the dates always ended up in sex. Tonks didn't mind, of course. They were beautiful nights. Even Remus seemed to be a bit younger-looking and giddier, if only until the next full moon, when Remus would get peaky and weak again. But Tonks knew how to take care of him now, so when she wasn't forced to pull all-nighters at the Ministry, she would spend her nights preparing the windmill for their arrival, or the bed for his recovery.

As for the times in between, Tonks and Remus found themselves acting like horny teenagers, as Sirius called them. Every chance they got alone they would sneak up to Remus' room, or go into Tonks' old room, or even if they could find enough room in the closet where Kreacher kept the cleaning supplies, and make love. And every time, it just got better and better. Except for the one time Kreacher walked in on them just as Remus and Tonks were 'rounding second.' Kreacher muttered ten or so curse words Tonks didn't dare utter in her lifetime and slammed the door. This caught Sirius attention, who went to the closet and opened the door. At this point, Remus and Tonks had stopped what they were doing and were just standing, beet red, in the closet, facing each other, Tonks' shirt half unbuttoned, Remus fly undone. He took one gaze at them and smirked.

"I see Tonks is working you out quite a bit," he said, grinning like a dope, shutting the door behind them after blowing a kiss at the couple foolishly.

That little incident occurred in late May. By early June, things had gotten out that Remus and Tonks were a couple. To that point, only Sirius knew for sure, and Molly had been carefully observing the signs, so she was suspicious.

So suspicious, in fact, she pulled Remus aside at one point in early June (around the third or fourth) and gave him what was probably the most disturbing talk he'd ever been given, considering, especially, this was Molly Weasley giving him the talk as an adult man.

"Remus, what are your intentions with Nymphadora?" Molly whispered. Remus looked around as if Tonks was right behind him, ready to laugh. He and Molly were in Headquarters kitchen the day before a meeting, Molly was preparing a pot of beef broth soup, and Remus was uncomfortably sitting at the table, stroking the rim of his empty tea cup.

"My intentions? What, are you her mother now?" Remus asked.

"Well, ever since she was with Bill, I like to think of her as my third daughter, aside from Ginny and Hermione, of course," Molly explained. "I had hoped that Tonks would join the family somehow. She's delightful."

Remus knew now that Molly said this that he has to be careful with his wording. "I would give my life for her," he confessed.

Molly nodded. "Sirius told me all about you're romping around," she said. "Personally speaking, I hope you're going about it right."

"Excuse me?" Remus said, caught off guard.

"You and Tonks are a wonderful thing, if she can't be with Bill," Molly said. "I really hope you're not exhausting her in bed."

"Um…"

"Because women young as Tonks are still new to the world of men and sex, and a gentleman such as yourself would be gentle in handling her, I should think," Molly said, waving her wand, a wad of chopped celery fell into the large boiling pot.

Remus wanted to die. He just knew Sirius put Molly up to this. And he would die for it.

"She knows if I make her uncomfortable, she only need say so, and I will stop what we're doing," Remus answered.

Molly smiled. "But don't be TOO modest," she added. "After all, sex should be enjoyed by BOTH partners!"

Sirius was _sooo_ dead.

"Who is on top?" Molly asked.

Remus nearly choked on his spit. "Huh?" was all he could get out.

"I certainly hope you aren't on top ALL the time. Women can be just as good on top," Molly said. Remus wanted to gag. He didn't grace the awkward question with an answer, but in truth, to date, Tonks had been the body on top two times out of every three. But he wasn't about to admit that to anyone, let alone Molly Weasley.

"They can, they can," Remus awkwardly agreed. Molly smiled. Sirius entered the room with one of his favorite props, a bottle of firewhiskey. The bottle was still fairly full, so he was still relatively sober (which came as a surprise to Remus, seeing as it was already an hour past noon).

"Am I interrupting?" Sirius asked, grinning like a fool. Remus shot him a 3-second deadly glance before looking back at Molly.

"I actually have to leave this simmer until the meeting," Molly said. "Might as well get home and finish a few chores around the house. Remus, we'll talk later."

"I certainly hope not," Remus muttered under his breath. Molly said a quick goodbye and left the room to head to the door to Apparate elsewhere. Sirius went to take a quick peek at the pot of beef soup, then took a swig of his booze, then took a seat across from Remus at the table.

"You know, Sex with Molly Weasley is never a talk I wanted to be a part of," Remus said. Before Sirius spoke, the sound of Molly Disapparating created a noise that interrupted even Remus' thought. It sounded louder than usual, as if someone was coming in as Molly was going, but it was most likely just Kreacher coming back from retrieving groceries.

"I love to see you squirm!" Sirius said.

Remus rolled his eyes. "You live to watch me suffer?"

Sirius nodded bluntly. "But that's what I love about you. Yeah, I love you. You know I wank myself to you every night in bed before I go to sleep," Sirius added with a heavy emphasis on sarcasm. You are the sun in my sky. Dump Tonks and be with me…"

"You know, it's amazing."

"What is, Moony?"

"You're a male, yet you just achieved multiple sarcasm," Remus said. Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Touche. Did Tonks give you wit when she gave you blow jobs?" Sirius said vulgarly. Remus groaned.

"We don't do that. Tonks isn't into it, and to be honest, neither am I. You are so…charming, sometimes."

"It's the truth!" Sirius said, grinning his evil grin. Remus smiled lightly.

After a moment's silence, Sirius spoke again. "So what did she say when you told her?"

Remus looked up into Sirius' dilated pupils. He had his mother's scary, black eyes. "What do you mean?"

"What did Tonks say when you told her about what happened sixteen years ago?" Sirius asked. "I mean, you had to have told her, if you're getting so intimate."

"Why do you assume that?" Remus asked. Sirius blinked.

"Oh no, Why haven't you told her yet? She had kind of a right to know!"

"Because…I love her, and telling her will ruin it for us."

How so, Moony? Please, do enlighten me, because the girl is undyingly in love with you, and I think if you told her you were going to jump off a bridge tomorrow at dawn, she'd be right beside you and do it with you," Sirius said.

"Because it'll bring her back to reality. It'll make her realize that, as in love with me she is, I am always going to be a werewolf. A beast no one can tame no matter how hard they try."

"Quite honestly, I think you'll have a harder time taming her: Sirius remarked smartly.

"Nothing permanent can ever come of this. We're having fun now, and that is all it can ever be."

Sirius gave Remus a look that actually terrified him. "So, you're just fucking with her head now, are you?"

Remus waved his hands. "No! No! I would never want to hurt her. She's not thinking of a long-term relationship either right now, I'll wager."

"But what if she does one day? What will you tell her? How can you possibly tell her anything without breaking her heart. And she's my family...well...my GOOD family, anyway, so I'm probably obligated by contract to kick your ass if you do anything to her, friend or not!" Sirius was still sober enough to be meaningful, and Remus knew the alcohol had nothing to do with his ranting as of yet.

"I am too old for her. Honestly, we're thirteen years apart! She was a BABY in the cradle when we were cruising Zonko's and Honeyduke's at Hogsmeade! I'm also too poor to support her if we did marry--"

"--she's got a nice job as an Auror, and if she makes it through the Second War alive, she'll probably get an Order of Merlin for her spy work, so money's no issue, Moony. You're making--"

"--I'm too dangerous!"

"--excuses!" Sirius barked. "Always excuses with you, Remus! Always have been! Those girls in school, there was always an excuse for you not to go out with them again. And some of them really loved you, too!"

Remus felt himself slowly being backed into a corner. "Some of those excuses were damn legitimate, thank you!"

"You refused to go out with Joline Lambert because she had a SNAGGLE TOOTH! A Merlin-damned SNAGGLE TOOTH!"

"That was a bad call, I'll admit that now!"

Sirius sat back in his chair and folded his arms, observing Remus like a Healer observing a patient who could lash out at any moment. "What would Prongs say to you, Moony? And think carefully! I'll TELL you what he would say! Nothing, because he'd be too busy smacking you upside the head!"

"I don't think so--"

"Remus, these past five months, you've just been so much...HAPPIER. Especially with Tonks nearby, but even when she was off at work, you...you looked your age."

"My age?"

"You looked like a thirty-four year old man instead of fifty, like you look. And you can blame your looks on your lycanthropy at all, anything besides the scarring has been YOU! You feeling sorry for yourself!"

Remus gritted his teeth. "You look fifty too," he said softly.

Sirius sighed and stared at his feet for a moment. "We've aged so much over fourteen years."

Remus nodded sadly. "So much has happened to us," he agreed.

A moment of revered silence followed. Sirius stared at Remus, and Remus stared right back at Sirius.

"So," Sirius said, breaking the silence. "You don't even know how she'll react when you tell her. What if she says what I think she will say?"

"And that is?"

"The past is gone, let's go make out in my apartment!" Sirius said. "And she'd be right. This is nothing more than solving a riddle of the past, and it means nothing now."

"She was afraid of werewolves for most of her life, Sirius," Remus said.

Sirius growled under his breath. "She was a little girl going through trauma. Who wouldn't be afraid? This is terribly different, and YOU'RE MAKING EXCUSES AGAIN!"

"Sorry," Remus mumbled. Sirius nodded.

"Carpe diem. You'll never know until you tell her, and I think you should."

Remus looked at the ceiling. "But how am I supposed to explain to her how I kept the fact that I was the werewolf that nearly killed her sixteen years ago--"

Suddenly, a loud THUD rang out from outside the kitchen, sounding like it came from near the stairs. Sirius and Remus shot to their feet and ran out into the hall. But the stairs, sprawled out in the exact same way she was when she'd overheard the conversation where Remus said he was a werewolf, as Tonks. Passed out. Fainted.

"Oh Merlin above, Tonks!" Sirius called, rushing to her side and picking her up in his arms. "What happened to her?"

Remus bit his lip to prevent tears from clouding his eyes, looking at Tonks white, expressionless face.

"Isn't it obvious?" he asked. "She heard. She heard it all."

* * *

_**A/N: **It was sooo hard writing this chapter! sobs for Tonks and Remus To all those who review this one, a booze and music session with their favorite Order member, music choice and character is yours to pick, hopefully this will help dry those tears I'm sure you have!_

* * *


	17. Time for Battle

"_Mr. Greyback? I don't want to hurt you," Nymphadora asked cautiously. The wolf only barked. Drool hung from its fat lips._

_Nymphadora screamed and turned her back. Thankfully, she could run now. She could hear the werewolf begin to run after her, picking up speed as it did._

_This wasn't good at all. Andromeda had told Nymphadora if she was ever bitten by a werewolf, she would become one too, and it would probably be the end of her life as she knew it. It would be a family tragedy. It meant she wouldn't be allowed to attend Hogwarts or to hold a job. This information ran through Nymphadora' s head, and it made her dainty, frozen feet pick up speed._

_Nevertheless, the werewolf was gaining speed. She turned her head to look at it. The wolf suddenly leapt at her. Screaming, Nymphadora froze in her tracks and ducked. The wolf had miscalculated its jump, and it flew right over her and landed a good three meters on the other side._

_Now there was nowhere to run but back to the house. Looking around her in the dark forest, she decided to take a chance and run for it. This was were mad Eye was supposed to come in, pick her up, yell at her to stop kicking, and then Apparate her to The Burrow. But he didn't appear. She had to run. _

_Nymphadora decided this time to climb a tree. She hurled herself up into it's branches and quickly ensnared herself in the twigs. She couldn't move. She's been tied to the tree by the branches._

_The werewolf, still hungry for her flesh, stalked around the tree a few times. The sky suddenly became blood red._

"_Mr. Greyback…?" Nymphadora asked. The wolf leaned against the tree, which began breaking and leaning backward. Nymphadora screamed. _

"_I'm not Greyback," said the wolf, in a very distinctive voice. It was that of Remus Lupin. Nymphadora, even through she was only six, realized who it was. "Now," said the wolf. "How about some of Molly's chicken stew?" Nymphadora felt the tree begin falling backward as the wolf climbed into the tree. His front paw was reaching out, but it didn't swoop down ready to make blood flow. Nymphadora cried out as she felt his paw fondle her private area…he was pawing at her vagina! _

"_Let's have some beautiful wolf-puppies, baby!" the Remus-wolf hissed. Nymphadora cried as the wolf continued t fondle her in unpleasant ways. "Mother my pups! I'll bite you, and we'll be one big pack of our own to howl at the moon every month! HOOOWWWWWWWWWL!" Remus howled and moved in so much closer to her body._

"_Please…please…" Nymphadora cried, curling herself into a ball…_

* * *

Tonks shot up in bed. For almost a full minute, she couldn't quite establish where she was, or how old she was. Then, things around her began forming solid shapes, and her brain finally managed to get back up to speed. It was June 17th, 1996, approximately three o clock in the afternoon. She was 

twenty-two years old and a member of the Order of the Phoenix. She was in a relationship with Remus Lupin—

"—Oh, fuck," Tonks muttered to herself. So, it hadn't been a dream after all. The truth was as real as ever. Tonks hadn't been in contact with Fenrir Greyback that night all those years ago. It had been her Remus who'd nearly killed her.

Tonks sat up in bed and brought her knees up to her chest in a thoughtful moment. This was a shocking piece of news, but what did it change really? The past was gone, and the present was here and now. The past had scary memories and only the prospect o what-could-have-been dwelling around. The present was so much better. The present had love and potential for a happy ending to the story, even if the circumstances were awkward.

But damn, were they awkward! She'd passed out, just like that first night. Remus probably put two and two together in his head and realized why she'd passed out. Tonks didn't get it. She'd gotten off of work early and decided to surprise Remus with an invitation to a late lunch, but once her ear got wrapped up in the 'private conversation' Sirius and Remus were having, Tonks' natural instinct told her to keep herself hidden.

She knew what she had to do straight up. She had to go to Remus room and explain everything. There really was no reason this should change their relationship, other than the fact this was kept a secret from her. If there were any reason to be pissed, the fact that it was a secret should've been the reason rather than the fact itself. Couldn't Remus see that Tonks wasn't a baby anymore? Did he think she could handle it without going insane (regardless of the little fainting spell)?

In fact, Tonks was upset. He was holding things back from her! He wasn't comfortable enough with her to tell her something about how they had a history that didn't exactly go smoothly! Tonks gritted her teeth at this newfound anger and shot out of bed. A brief glance in the mirror showed Tonks her hair was as red as a Weasley's, and as curly as a poodle's coat. She stormed out of the room and traced the wall with her hand as she made her way down the hall towards Remus' room.

The door was open. But Tonks stopped short, mainly because there was a big box standing in her way, reaching to her knee. The room looked like a big move was taking place. Remus had his back to her, sorting through a pile of books and then using his wand to put them in a box sitting on the bed. No, Tonks thought, shaking her head. He couldn't run away from her this time.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Tonks asked assertively. Remus stopped what he was doing, but didn't turn his head around. Tonks stepped over the box and shuffled her way into the room. Remus was silent. "Did you think I would go bonkers over it? Did you think I'd stamp and cry and break up with you?"

Remus sighed. He still didn't turn to face her.

"Answer me! I can't believe you'd keep such a thing from me! What, did you think I wouldn't find out? Did you think I'd just never suspect it, and then you and I could be all hunky-dory?" Tonks felt the words pour out of her mouth like drool. She couldn't stop the anger as it welled up inside her. "Say SOMETHING!"

Remus paused. "Something."

Tonks grunted in frustration. "That isn't funny! If you could just—"

"—YOU STUPID CHILD!" Remus suddenly screamed, stopping Tonks short. He finally whipped his body around to face her. "You naïve little witch! Can't you see our little game is over? Stop burying your head in the sand!"

Tonks' jaw dropped. "How DARE you speak to me that way?! What gives you the right—"

Remus groaned. "Listen, Tonks, this has all been a great experience, but why did it take you so long to finally realize I was right all along?!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Tonks asked, ready to cry. Remus was clearly unstable emotionally, and he had called her 'Tonks' instead of 'Dora.' That was never a good sign.

"No matter how much we try to hide it, I'm a Merlin-damned werewolf! A dangerous half-human creature without any possible means of contributing to society! I am a HAZARD to you!" Remus asserted. Tonks gritted her teeth again and stood her ground.

"This has nothing to do with it! Stop trying to blame your disease! It doesn't do any good!" she said. Remus shook his head and looked at Tonks in a way she'd never seen him before. This was the first time since December 17th, 1979 that Tonks was seeing the true wolf behind Remus Lupin's eyes.

"I said it before. I'm too old, too poor, and too dangerous for you, or anyone!"

"Then why did you say you loved me?" Tonks said. "Why did you give me this ring and give yourself to me?" she added, holding up her left hand, on which the moonstone ring still sat.

"You are too young for me. I…I can't ever be with anyone. I was being rash and stupid myself. I am a werewolf," Remus chanted.

"I don't give one rat's ass about lycanthropy!" Tonks protested. "I've said it before and I will say it until the cows come home! I love you, and I don't care how old, poor, or dangerous you are! I've been with you during a full moon, and no harm came of it! You're the one with your head in the sand!" Tonks shot back.

"I have to leave," Remus said after a moment of silence. Tonks looked around the room as Remus flicked his wand, causing the suitcases to close and lock.

"Where are you going?" asked Tonks, sounding for a moment like Molly asking one of her children where they were all last night.

"I'm moving out," Remus replied with no tone to his voice whatsoever. "To a place outside Liverpool," he added after Tonks made a motion indicating she wanted more detail.

"L…Liverpool?" Tonks asked. "So far out? Why?"

Remus turned back around to face her. "Greyback's werewolf community is located just outside Liverpool," he said.

"You're moving to a werewolf camp?" Tonks said, shocked. "Remus, that place is a dirty asylum for monsters. You're above them!" she insisted. "It's so far away. Why on earth would you WANT to be out there, what with the Order based here in London—"

"—it's FOR the Order!" Remus said, sounding almost as if Tonks should have gotten it by now. "Dumbledore wants me to go undercover and try to rally the werewolves to rebel against Greyback and join us in the fight against the Death Eaters."

Tonks was silent. A thousand different feelings and thoughts whirled through her head, making her dizzy again.

"How long?"

"Doesn't matter. The further away I am from you and society, the better," Remus said, picking up the smallest suitcase and heading for the door. Tonks blocked his way out.

"You know, when you say that, not only are you insulting me, but Molly, Sirius, and everyone else as well. None of us think of you but in the highest respect!" she said. Remus shook his head.

"Away from you, mostly," Remus said back. Tonks let the first tear run down her cheek.

"So, it was all a lie, then? You never loved me. I was just a fling, wasn't I? This…this is your 'excuse' to get away from a committed relationship!" Tonks accused. "Sirius said you had an excuse for every girl you went out with! Looks like mine is finally out in the open! You LIED to me about loving me! You never did!"

Remus shook his head a third time. "No, Tonks. Quite the contrary. I…I have no excuse for you. And that's why I have to leave," he said. This time, he shoved her aside and quickly ran down the hall. Tonks sped out into the hallway after him, screaming his name. But before he could, the sound of Remus Disapparating from downstairs rang out in her ears, and she was alone.

* * *

Later that afternoon, closer to dinnertime, Tonks appeared in the kitchen, a total wreck. She hadn't bothered to pursue Remus, nor had she bothered to go back to her apartment. Instead, she sat in Remus' room on the floor, just wishing in her head that he would return, toying with the ring on her finger. She wanted him to apologize. She wanted to apologize for what she did. She wanted him back.

But all she found waiting for her in the kitchen was Sirius, sitting in his usual spot at the table, sipping lightly at a glass of beer (an odd choice for Sirius).

"Tonks," he muttered. Tonks gritted her teeth.

"He has no excuse for me," she said after a moment. Sirius nodded.

"I know he doesn't," was his reply.

"How do you know?" Tonks asked, taking a seat two chairs down from him on the same side of the table .

"I had a feeling is all," Sirius said, taking another, surprisingly discreet, sip.

"Oh, so now you're a Seer, Sirius Trelawney?" Tonks asked with bitter irony. "Well, your vision was fake. He…he walked out on me."

Sirius nodded, folded his hands, and looked down at his lap for a few seconds before getting what he had to say in mind. He looked back up at Tonks.

"You're the first woman I ever saw Moony settling down with, you know that?" he asked. Tonks looked at him with surprise.

"Marriage?" she asked. Sirius nodded.

"And believe it or not, I'm sober enough to be in my right mind when I say it. I really hope you two start a family someday."

"Won't happen now," Tonks said, shaking her head in a fashion similar to Remus. Sirius contradicted her shake with a head nod of his own.

"Moony's just been so, so happy since he started seeing you. He's really in love with you. I honestly think the last time he was this happy was when Prongs and I first transformed to be with him in the Shrieking Shack during our school days," Sirius remarked. Tonks felt the tears come again.

"I told you, it can't happen now," Tonks said sadly. "He left me."

"He left me, too, but that doesn't mean a thing now, does it?" Sirius asked. Tonks gave him an odd look.

"That didn't sound right to me, Sirius Black," she said, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. Sirius chuckled and waved his arm in front of his face, as if erasing the bad choice of phrase off the chalkboard.

"I meant, after Voldemort fell the first time and I was sent to Azkaban, everyone, of course, believed I was the traitor of the Potters. Even Moony thought I was the bad one and Wormtail was a hero."

"But—"

"—Moony confessed everything to me after I made my escape," Sirius added. "I felt betrayed for a short while after I realized Remus suspected me along with everyone else. Other than James, no one knew me better. Not even your Mum. He…he truly believed that Voldemort had driven me mad 

with a thirst for power or some fiddle-faddle like that. How could he possibly believe I would kill my own fiancée, and my own friends…my own godson?"

Tonks shook her head. "Remus does seem the kind to jump to conclusions, doesn't he?"

"He's very much that way. But so are you."

Tonks looked offended. "Me? How? What are you saying?"

"I'm saying you've been sitting here for the past ten minutes telling me because Remus walked out on you and assumed you'd passed out because he was the werewolf who nearly got you, you can never get him back."

Tonks wiped her hot, wet cheek. "But I can't."

Sirius stood up and moved closer to Tonks, resting his big hand comfortingly on her shoulder. "Are Moony and I still enemies? Does he still believe I killed the Potters?"

Tonks shook her head. Sirius bent down so his eyes were level with hers. "This is where it's up to you. If you truly love him, as I know you do, you'll fight for the one you love," he said. Tonks sniffed. "You must fight. Love never came easily."

Tonks nodded her head, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "I…I do have to fight for Remus, don't I?"

Sirius smiled lightly. Tonks liked his smile. It was warm and comforting. "You're an Auror for the Ministry, and you have yet to fight a physical battle for them. But first and foremost, you are an Auror for your heart, Tonks. And you are a brave woman. I still wonder why you aren't Gryffindor."

Tonks had to smile a little. "Maybe we all have a little Gryffindor in all of us. A little of every house, even Slytherin!"

Sirius mocked a shudder. Tonks giggled. Once the giggling and joking settled down, Sirius looked strongly yet softly into her eyes again. "This is your battle, Tonks. Try and find your place at Remus' side again."

Tonks sobbed and trust herself into her cousin's arms. "I will, Sirius. I promise."

"You promise what?" he asked from over her shoulder as they embraced.

Tonks sniffed in before she spoke. "I promise I will fight for Remus. He is my true love," she said.

Sirius and Tonks let go of each other, and then Sirius helped Tonks get to her feet and wandered to the front door with her. "I'll contact him tomorrow," she said. "But tonight, I am exhausted."

Sirius nodded. "Fair enough," he said. Tonks smiled and went to the Apparition point. She looked at Sirius one more and smiled with love for her cousin as she began to see the world spin around her.

He was waving goodbye.

* * *

Tonks had so much on her mind despite Sirius' pep talk that she didn't bother making dinner once she got back to her apartment. Instead, she flopped herself onto her bed and stared at the ceiling, breathing deeply as she did. The world around her began to grow dark. The sun was not quite set yet, as it was probably only seven or so in the evening, but the sun set over the other side of the building, so Tonks' window faced the dark side of the sky.

However, at around 7:30, the room suddenly lit up in a bright white, frightening Tonks and making her grab her wand and get to her feet. It was a large, silvery-white parrot squawking and flying around the room.

"Mad-Eye?" Tonks muttered in question to herself. She knew of no one else with a parrot Patronus.

The parrot perched itself on the back of the sofa and spoke in Mad-Eye's voice to Tonks. His voice was strong and urgent, with even a hint of worry.

_"Trouble at the Department of Mysteries. Thirteen Death Eaters. Harry Potter in trouble. Time for Battle."_

* * *

**A/N: **_I know, another really sad chapter. Sorry! Reviews are lacking again, so to whoever reviews this gets a thousand galleons and a whole day to spend it however you want alongside your favorite Order of the Phoenix member! _


	18. Down She Fell

Tonks quickly armed herself with her broom and her wand , then she rushed to Headquarters as soon as she got the message. Usually, the plan was to meet at headquarters before a Battle was about to commence in order to discuss formations, strategies, whether this would be an aerial battle or one on the ground, etc. but when Tonks arrived, no one was there. Not even Sirius.

"Sirius? Molly? SIRIUS?" Tonks called from the kitchen several times, wondering where the rest of the Order was.

"NASTY MUTANT FREAK REAKING CHAOS UPON THE HOUSE OF M Y ANCESTORS! A WASTE OF BLACK BLOOD!" Hollered Walburga Black from the portrait. Tonks didn't care about her this time. Some many more important things were about to go down, who cared about a stupid painting with an attitude problem? Where was everyone?

Tonks rushed around the house like a madwoman looking for Sirius. But he was definitely not there. Mad Eye had said that the Battle was in the Department of Mysteries. Maybe this was an urgent call for help from Mad Eye, and there wasn't time for a strategy. Tonks was taught about this during training to. When an emergency battle was commencing, the best thing to do was to pick on one person and duel with only that one person instead of blindly shooting curses out in front of her. THAT appeared to be the strategy. Tonks looked around the room quickly one more time before Apparating away.

Once out on the street, Tonks quickly flew into the Ministry and rushed with all her clumsy legs could carry into the Department. However, these quick movements seemed to take a lifetime. This was her first real battle, after all. What would it be like? Who would be there on her side and the other side? Would she be able to beat her opponent if she were to duel one-on-one with any Death Eater? Snape had said during her induction that she was too young to beat the Death Eaters.

But fuck what Snape said. Now was her time. Tonks knew she was ready.

She made her way through the nearly-empty Ministry (as it should've been, since it was way after hours) she ran over all that she had been taught in her brain about one-on-one dueling. She muttered these out loud to refresh her memory, mainly. But it was also to calm her down, because she was scared as hell, and she knew it.

"In an unorganized battle, it is better to challenge one opponent than be challenged by four….never wait for your opponent to fire back…only use Avada Kedavra if you are threatened with death…always keep at least ten paces from your opponent and never break eye contact…" Tonks listed in her head. "If possible, keep twenty paces away, for a typical dueling curse can only travel fifteen-to-eighteen paces with the exception of Unforgivable Curses, and the Stupification Curse…"

She quickly flew into the Hall of Prophesies and into the Room of the Veil behind it. Just as she arrived, she noticed in a flash that she was the first Order member to arrive on the scene, other than Sirius. He was standing beside his godson, wands at the ready. There were at least a dozen Death Eaters. Harry's friends Ron and Hermione were there, along with Ginny, and Neville Longbottom (whom she vaguely recognized, as he looked so much like his Mum). One other girl was there with long blonde hair whom Tonks didn't recognize at all.

Almost as soon as she entered the room, however, Kingsley popped up behind Neville. Mad Eye followed. Remus then dropped in behind Hermione. That was when the firing began.

Kingsley began trying to rush the injured children away. Harry would not move. He and Sirius were dueling alongside each other. Remus was shot at by Dolohov, and he quickly began dueling. Tonks nearly evaded a Body-Bind about three seconds later.

Mad Eye had once told her in training that a battle is not an event for an Auror, but rather a sequence of happening that just flow past her line of vision so quickly that the mind cannot properly evaluate it. And he was right. Tonks had not been challenged as of yet, so she made it her mission to try and keep the one-man advantage the Death Eaters had not a problem. Tonks could see Macnair out of the corner of her eye raising his wand as Remus' back as he fought Dolohov, and Tonks quickly shot a Body-Bind curse at him. She hit him dead on, and Macnair fell over.

"That will teach you to mess with him," Tonks muttered under her breath. A masked Death eater looked in her direction and waved his wand. Tonks created a blue shield that held strongly under the curse expired at the shield. Then Tonks turned around and fired two curses that send this adversary slamming against the wall. The rush and blur of events made Tonks' adrenaline spike to levels she'd never experienced before. And for a moment, at least, she was in a state of euphoria. She felt utterly unbeatable.

She looked towards the set of stairs leading to the second floor of the room. She could've sworn she saw a black figure moving up there. Her heart pounded, and she rushed up the stairs.

As the cracks and bangs of hit-and-miss cursing continued below, Tonks ran after the figure. "Come out of there!" she bade.

Tonks felt her feet run cold as she saw who it was she had been chasing. A somewhat familiar face, though harder around the eyes and messier darker hair, emerged from the shadow. The smile was crooked and insane, every tooth either crooked or darkened. Tonks gritted her teeth and narrowed her eyes as her new enemy stepped fully into the light, uttering a scary laugh as she did. Tonks thought she was looking at her mother if she'd been run over by a train several dozen times .

It was Tonks' aunt, Bellatrix.

Tonks whipped out her wand. Bellatrix snorted as she laughed.

"You really want to die now?" she asked. "Fine then, less work for me!" Bellatrix got out her wand. Tonks felt her heart throb and pound painfully against her chest as Bellatrix fired the first shot. Tonks made a blue shield appear before her as Bellatrix fired two more ill-aimed shots.

"Just like your traitorous mother, hiding behind a wall!" Bellatrix teased. Tonks didn't let her mad words get to her. But if she kept holding the shield, she could never defeat Bellatrix, at least until someone else could attack from elsewhere.

But looking at the ground, Tonks saw that everyone was busy. Remus had defeated Dolohov (good boy!) and as soon as he did so, Macnair had broken free of the Body-Bind and was advancing on him. Kingsley had evacuated most of the children and was now helping Mad Eye go after two masked Death eaters Tonks couldn't recognize. Sirius and Harry were still fighting Rabastian Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy side-by-side near the Veil. Mad Eye's head was already bleeding.

She was stuck. Bellatrix kept fir8ing curses one after the other. She'd have to be damn quick if she wanted to fire a good shot. She couldn't fire a deadly curse. Something that could disable Bellatrix long enough for Tonks to be able to knock her out cold.

Taking a breath and looking in the direction of Sirius bravely, Tonks released the shield and quickly waved her wand.

"_Stupefy!"_

The curse hit Tonks on her left shoulder. She was thrust backwards towards the stairs, still not quick enough. Bellatrix took advantage of this to fire two more cursed. Tonks felt pain shoot up her back. Bellatrix was torturing her. The pain was nothing like Tonks had ever felt in her entire life. Every good feeling within her was gone, and now even her brain had no room to think about anything but the pain. It was as if an army of knives were swimming through her blood vessels and attacking at every organ in her body. Her eyes were ready to burst. Her heart was three beats away from stopping. Her brain was paralyzed. She could see Remus' figure in her line of view. She wasn't looking at her and didn't look aware of her existence. Tonks wished she could open her mouth to cry out for help, but it would've caused even more pain.

Plus, it wasn't as if he gave one damn anyway…all she wanted right now was help.

Suddenly, a wave of pleasure filled her. She could no longer see what was going on around her. Bellatrix had lifted the Torture Curse. Tonks felt as if she'd dipped too much into Sirius' stash of fire whiskey. Was the fighting over? No, there were still sounds of dueling below her. She could see only shadows and dark shapes moving around her now. What was happening?

Tonks could vaguely hear another _'stupefy!'_ come from the direction and voice of her aunt. Then, Tonks felt like a thick, heavy fist had hit her in the stomach.

She was falling now. Tonks couldn't hear anymore, or see. Or breathe. But she was pretty sure she was falling down…down…down…

* * *

_The Room of the Veil was now completely empty. No Death eaters, no Order Members. Tonks was completely alone. And perfectly fine. She wasn't asleep or in pain anymore._

_She suddenly felt a tap on her shoulder. She screamed and turned around, her wand out and ready. Sirius stood there, but he stepped back cautiously. Tonks waited a moment, then laughed and put her wand away. "Sorry about that," she said softly. "After what I just went through, it's a bit of a reflex."_

"_And a good one," Sirius added. "Mad Eye would be proud of you."_

"_No."_

"_What?"_

"_No, he wouldn't be. I'm dead now, isn't it obvious? I get knocked out, and now suddenly I feel fine and dandy and don't feel any pain?"_

_Sirius shook his head. "Well, I wouldn't say you were dead," he replied. "Maybe a little out of your body right now. But it happens to the best of us once in awhile."_

_Tonks seemed to accept this reply and nodded an agreement. "I suppose so."_

_Sirius put his arm around Tonks' shoulder and walked about the room with her for a moment before Tonks decides to speak again. "How did the Battle turn out? Did we win, and is Remus okay?"_

_Sirius thought a moment. "Remus fought hard and well. He doesn't have a scratch on him."_

_Tonks gave him a weird look._

"_Other than the ones he had from before, obviously."_

_Tonks sighed. "And everyone else?"_

"_Mad Eye and Kingsley got hurt, but they will be alright."_

"_And the children?"_

"_They're banged up pretty badly, but they're still alive and they all are going to pull through just fine."_

"_And..?"_

_Sirius rolled his eyes. "And the Death Eaters got beaten back. Fudge realizes Voldemort's back, and he's sending out pamphlets on safety to everyone in England. Voldemort's still out there, but he's shown himself, and that's good enough for Fudge right now."_

_Tonks looked around the room. "I survived, right?"_

_Sirius nodded. "Yes, Tonks. You survived. You're time won't come for a little while more, I'll wager." _

"_Oh, suddenly he's a Seer!" Tonks said. Sirius laughed out loud. It was such a nice sound. It was a shame Sirius didn't do it more often. _

_Suddenly, Tonks realized something. "Sirius, did you--?"_

"—_Mind if I give you something for safe keeping?" Sirius asked, letting go of his cousin and playing with something on his finger. After a second, he got it off and he put the object into Tonks' left palm. It was his Marauder ring, the deep purple stone shaped like a paw print. Tonks bit her lip. She knew what this meant._

"_Moony is all that's left. This ring is his now just as his moon ring is yours. When you talk to him, please give this to him."_

_Tonks felt tears well up in her eyes. _

"_And promise me you WILL talk to him?" Sirius asked. "Frankly, I'm still bloody pissed you two haven't tied the knot yet."_

_Tonks looked insecurely at the ground. "he leaves soon."_

"_Soon is plenty of time!" Sirius exclaimed. "Tonks, you and he are meant to be. The trick it to be consistent and insistent. Hey…that rhymes!" Sirius suddenly shouted irrelevantly. Tonks snorted back a laugh. _

_Sirius stopped laughing and gently put a hand on Tonks' shoulder. "I was his best friend. He's going to need you now more than ever, and you will need him too. Talk to him and patch things up before he leaves, understand?"_

_Tonks paused a moment before nodding. "I will."_

_Sirius nodded his head and kissed Tonks tenderly on the cheek. He then stepped away from her and headed for the curtains at the end of the room. But Before he stepped through, he turned to Tonks again. _

"_Oh, and give your Mum all my love," Sirius asked. Tonks nodded and watched as Sirius turned around and took another step towards the veil. But he stopped and turned again._

"_One last thing?"_

"_Yes, Sirius?"_

"_Don't make the funeral too sad or mopey. There's a war on, and I don't want people crying over my picture or something…"_

_Tonks bit her lip as Sirius gave a playful little salute and walked through the set of curtains. As they enveloped him and drew him in, a bright flash of white light exploded throughout the room, and a shot of pain suddenly spread through Tonks' body._

_And she was falling again. _

* * *

Tonks didn't need to open her eyes to see there was a huge white glow around her. It leaked behind her eyelids and made her cringe after what seemed like hours (or days) of darkness. There were two vague voices standing over her, muttering. She recognized one.

"Will she pull through or what?"

"Mr. Moody, she WILL make a full recovery, but she's been Tortured quite a bit, she she'll be exhausted for at least another week."

"She'll need to be out of here sooner than that!"

"We can discharge her the day after tomorrow, but she needs to spend at least ten hours a day in bed or relaxing for a fortnight after. No duties, no battles. She'll barely be able to hold up her broomstick!"

"Very well, then."

"She might come back soon, would both of you like to stay in case she does?"

That was when the third voice joined the group. A voice that was smooth and warm. It made Tonks' aching body feel at peace.

"Alastor, do you mind if I leave? I still have packing to do, and I'm moving in less than a few weeks…"

"Alright, Remus. I think she'd rather wake up to your shining face than mine, but I'm not your Mum, so do what you want."

After a pause, the unfamiliar voice spoke again. "Was he her husband?"

"No, he's just a ruddy fool."

"Ah." The voice sounded uncomfortable. "When she wakes, give her some of the tray. Food in her belly is most important right now."

There was a sound of two pairs of footsteps leaving the room. Tonks had a strong urge to open her eyes, but something kept them shut. She got some feeling back in her body suddenly. She could feel something in her right hand, a small trinket. But she couldn't look at it. She struggled and fought within her own mind. It was like asking for permission to return to a state of living. Was she…dead?

No, she couldn't be. She fluttered her eyes and looked around her. She was in a hospital bed in St. Mungo's. Go figure. At her bedside was a vase of daisies, and a tray, on which looked to be a glass of milk and some form of sandwich. The room was intensely white and bright. She was under a stuff w9ollen blanket, her head elevated slightly. Her head felt heavy, and it was as if it was delaying her perception of the world around her for a few seconds. Then she recognized the man standing at her side as her mentor.

"Heh, as soon as the Healer leaves, she wakes up!" Mad Eye chuckled. "Impeccable timing, Nymphadora."

Tonks gathered up enough strength to use her voice. "It's Tonks."

Mad Eye nodded. Tonks' memory began to regroup, and she remembered the Battle. "Was Remus just here?" she asked.

Mad Eye nodded. "Bloke was the only one of us not to get some kind of hit," he said, motioning to his temple, where a faint scar after mending was still visible. "You were worst off, but Kingsley was out for a while too."

So, Remus had survived. Good. But what about…?

"Healer says you have to eat this rubbish," Mad Eye said, gesturing to the sandwich. "Looks more like rubber meat between two sponges, if you ask me."

"It's organic," said a deep voice from Tonks' left. It was Kingsley in the bed next to her. She turned her head. Kingsley had quite a few scars lining his face, and his right arm was in a sling. "It's the latest thing in Muggle hospitals, and it's supposed to heal faster."

Mad Eye groaned and carried on the conversation with Mad Eye. Tonks still wanted to know where the hell Sirius was. But Mad Eye said she had been worst off, so he had to be either minorly injured or not hurt at all.

Squinting to look down at her hand, she opened her fist enough to see what had gotten inside it.

The purple paw-shaped stone Marauder ring sat in her palm.

Tonks could've asked herself a hundred questions. How did the ring get into her hand? Was the dream she had real? Did Remus give her this ring? Was this still a part of her dream, or was she dead and this was heaven? Why was the giver of this ring entrusting it to her?

But she didn't ask herself any of those questions. None of them mattered, because no matter how many questions Tonks asked herself or anyone, it didn't conceal the obvious fact that Sirius Black was dead.

* * *

_**A/N: **__In honor of me getting through this chapter without bawling my eyes out, to everyone who reviews this chapter goes a lifetime supply of something with your favorite Order member. Remus comes with…what else but chocolate? Sirius comes with booze, booze, booze! Tonks comes with a lifetime supply of her favorite treat: REMUS (think of it as a two-for-the-price-of-one sale!)_


	19. Battle of the Words

Tonks refused to speak a word more until she was released from the hospital. Kingsley was released before her, but he admitted that he preferred to stay in close proximity, for her sake at the very least. All she did for her part was sit up in bed and finger the paw-print ring. She had a sneaky suspicion that the Room of the Veil had some sort of hidden magic, and it really was Sirius who had given her the ring. And she knew she had to keep her word to Sirius and pass the ring along to Remus.

But he did not visit her again, and therefore, she did not see him until she was released from the hospital two days after the battle. Tonks was as emotionally tired as she was physically. The day of the Battle, so much had happened. Remus had told her that what she thought was true love was a mistake, she and Sirius had their first real, and sober, heart-to-heart. She'd engaged in battle with her estranged aunt who wanted nothing to do with her and lost. And Sirius had died.

That last event had to be the one that struck at Tonks' heartstrings the most, at least for the short term. Even her problems with Remus took somewhat of a backseat. She was released from the hospital after breakfast the morning the Hogwarts Express would be bringing the students back home for the summer holidays (was it really an entire year since her induction?) and the Order decided to have a small funeral for Sirius before the train arrived. Tonks wondered why they didn't wait for Harry to come back for the funeral. Mad Eye explained briefly that the boy was suffering enough, and a funeral would be like re-opening a wound. Tonks agreed with thought.

The funeral was held at 12 Grimmauld Place. Tonks wore his ring on a chain around her neck, tucked in her shirt so Remus wouldn't see it. She wasn't ready yet, and now wasn't the time anyways. The Order members said a few words and shed a few tears. Kreacher muttered the whole time, and Tonks felt comfort in giving the little imp a hard kick in the knee. She was cursed some more, but she didn't care.

Remus was looking particularly terrible. She knew what Sirius meant by Remus needing someone now more than ever. He'd just lost his best friend, after all, and he was about to go undercover on a spy mission so incredibly dangerous that it made Tonks' mission look like child's play. Going out among the werewolves especially Greyback's pack sounded like nasty work, and Tonks knew she would have to suck up the courage to give him the ring and sort things out before he left.

The train was due to arrive late in the afternoon, and there was so much to be done between the funeral and the arrival at King's Cross. At Dumbledore's request, she was to go along to meet Harry and his…gag…relatives for a little 'chat.' Dumbledore had sent a message saying that Headquarters was being moved from Grimmauld Place to The Burrow, seeing as there was always a chance that despite Sirius' will, the house would leave itself to the next blood Black in line, and that was Bellatrix. So Tonks, despite her moderately weakened state, she helped pack up any evidence that the Order had been there and organized the place a little bit.

But the whole while, Tonks' heart remained as weak and sick as the rest of her. Remus avoided her gaze the whole time. Every time he brushed passed her to grab a parcel, she winced and grimaced. How long did this charade have to be kept up?

After Harry and the Weasleys arrived at King's Cross (right on schedule, as usual), and Tonks, along with Remus and Mad Eye, had their little 'discussion' on the Dursleys treatment of Harry from now on, Molly invited Tonks, Remus, Kingsley, and Mad Eye to supper at the Burrow. Mad Eye and Kingsley both declined. But when Remus accepted gracefully, Tonks decided that she had to accept as well.

Remus promised to be there by seven, when dinner was to be served. But Tonks decided to follow the Weasleys back to their home and to spend the evening with them. She figured a talk with Molly would help ease her nerves a bit as well.

Once at the Burrow, and once Ron and Ginny were in their rooms unpacking, Molly began to attend to supper, and Tonks sat on the piece of kitchen counter that was unoccupied. She had originally intended to only keep the dramatics to a minimum, but she ended up spilling her guts as if she was drugged with veritaserum.

Molly ended up tsking once all was out in the open. "What?" Tonks asked. "You think this is a simple matter?"

"Well, you both are certainly making it more than it needs to be," Molly said. "But if I had to agree with one of you, it would have to be you. From the sounds of it, Remus has good intentions, but bad ideas," Molly said. "Too dangerous, indeed. There are piles of Merlin-Knows-What upstairs in the twins' bedroom that are more dangerous than he will ever be!"

Tonks nodded. "I'm talking to him tonight," she concluded. "Time is of the essence now."

"When is he leaving?" Molly asked. "For Liverpool?"

Tonks shrugged. "I have a feeling it will be sooner than usual, after what happened. He's suffered just as much as we all have." She felt a tear come to eye as she suddenly remembered the ring that hung around her neck. Molly looked at Tonks and took her head on her motherly hands.

"Dear, everything will work out for the best in the end. It always does. The world has a way of doing that."

Tonks sighed as Molly let go to tend to the stew. "Then why is Sirius dead?"

Molly shrugged and refused to answer. Tonks groaned.

"I don't think I can stay in my apartment anymore. It's so close to Grimmauld Place. And with the new Ministry set to take effect later, my 'spying' missions won't be as necessary," Tonks thought aloud.

"You intend to move away too?" Molly asked.

"I need a change in scenery," Tonks said, fingering her short, mousy-brown hair. "Like Remus, I too need a change in plans."

"Oh, don't tell me you're planning to follow him to Liverpool?" Molly asked, taking a pepper-shaker and adding a dash to the stew. Tonks quickly shook her head.

"I might ask Dumbledore if he could permanently station me in Hogsmeade. Rosemerta will no doubt loan me the room above the Three Broomsticks," Tonks mused. Molly nodded. "I would be of more use there anyway than I could be in London."

Tonks admitted to herself that the conversation seemed a bit one-sided. Molly was listening and replying alright, but more seemed to be on her mind. Tonks had heard Arthur talking about it, and she k new partially why Molly was only half-caring at the moment. Bill had proposed to a young lady he'd met working at Gringotts. Supposedly, she was beautiful beyond all comprehension. Ron and Ginny supposedly knew her from before was well. Tonks was vague on details. Anyways, Bill was bringing her around later in the summer.

Tonks' own mind was far off in space as well. Not even so much over Remus. Her intention on confronting him tonight was set in stone. It was Sirius who still floated though her mind. Her heartbreak after losing a friend and cousin after knowing him for his true nature only a year was gut-wrenching, and seeing him die only after enduring the downward spiral he was falling through only made the tragedy worse.

"Can I help with anything?" Tonks asked after an awkward moment of silence. Molly shook her head. Tonks sighed loudly. "In that case, I'm going to go get some fresh air."

Molly nodded. "Okay, dear, I'll call you when dinner is ready!"

"Thanks," Tonks said, hopping off the counter and wandering outside. She decided to bypass the garden and all the gnomes that wandered around within, and instead she wandered out into the adjacent field. It was open and getting littered with dark shadows as the sun sunk lower in the sky.

Tonks fingered the ring on her neck and felt a surge of woe and deep heartbreak pulse through her chest. She yanked the ring off the chain, which broke and felt to the ground. Tonks followed and sank to her knees, letting the tears come. The purple stone was getting duller. Tonks wondered if Sirius' ring was so dull already, how dull was James Potter's ring?

Sirius was only just behind the veil, and yet it seemed like he's been there for an eternity already. Tonks didn't know one could lose so much in so short a time. She barely even knew Sirius when he died. They'd had their first real moment of bonding just six hours before the Battle in the Ministry that ended his life.

Tonks took the ring and placed it besides the moon ring on her hand. The moon ring still contained all of it's color. The purple looked almost grey beside it. Moony and Padfoot. The shattered, broken remains of the Marauders. Tonks bit her lip as she studied the contrasts of the stones through her tears. Now it was down to Moony. Only one.

She couldn't hear the footsteps rustling in the tall grass behind her. It was only when he spoke that Tonks was aware that Remus was behind her.

Remus thought at first that his eyes were playing tricks on him. Then he realized that Tonks was indeed holding Padfoot's ring…

"Where did you get that?" he asked. Tonks, startled, leapt up and screamed in surprise. She turned to face Remus and slammed her fist shut. She looked at him square in the eye and scowled.

"It's really none of your damn business, is it?" Tonks said coldly. "What do you want anyway?" she said. Tonks was startled at the venom seeping through her own words like a basilisk's fang. What the hell was wrong with her all of a sudden?

"I'm here for dinner," Remus said. "I can only assume you are too." Tonks quickly noticed his words were just as cold and unfeeling as hers were. Now it was a Battle of the Words.

"Remus, you know we have to settle this," Tonks said. "Neither of us are going into the house until we both snap out of this."

Remus shrugged. "Snap out of what?"

"Snape out of what?!" Tonks groaned. "You know damn well there's a score to settle between us before the summer begins."

Remus shook his head and looked at Tonks with disbelief. "How can you possibly mean what I think you mean now of all times? Sirius has just DIED. War is ON!"

"No time like the present," Tonks hissed. Remus narrowed his eyes.

"There is nothing to settle. It already has been settled. We are no longer together, and we can never be together that way again. It was fun while it lasted, and it will be a stupid and dangerous thing for both of us to try and drag this out," Remus reasoned. Tonks wondered if this was the way he spoke to his students, because he sounded like their emotional affair was strictly business.

"So that's it? It was just 'fun' for you?" Tonks felt herself quickly losing composure as emotion rose in her. "That isn't like you, Remus, so I refuse to buy it."

"Buy what? It was an innocent little affair we had, and now we both need to move on to more important matters. We don't pair up, Tonks, I assure you—"

"—you know what this is, Remus?" Tonks challenged,. Remus raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms skeptically. "This is you and your excuses again. It's not like you at all to spontaneously have affairs for the sake of fun. Sirius told me several times during school you went out of your way to AVOID having fun flings! So don't try and sue that card on me again, because I know you as much as you probably know yourself. Remus Lupin doesn't do flings!" Tonks said, all in one breath. She needed to gasp for air 

after she got that out. She realized that she had just been thinking out loud, and for once, it all made sense.

"You know, if anything," Tonks continued. "It should be a roles-reversed situation. I'M the 'young, wild, and free' one! And yet, here I am, the one who can't possibly comprehend how You could be the one calling it an 'affair' and me the one who has been trying to tell you all along that I want to spend the rest of my life with you!"

Remus' eyed widened, and he looked like he was surprised and frightened to hear those words come out of Tonks' mouth.

"Tonks, no….did you just tell me you--?"

Tonks nodded, gritting her teeth. "Yes," she said. "Remus, I want to marry you."

Remus looked down t his feet awkwardly at Tonks' proposal. Tonks made a grab for Remus' hand with her free one. "And I know you have limited means, but i have enough for us to rent a small apartment somewhere. Even if it means staying with my parents for awhile, it would be worth it!"

Remus didn't move his gaze from his shoes. "I felt it the hour we met, I swear. I felt my feet go cold, and I thought it was because of that night in December, but it's not! It's because I love you. And you can't say this past year has meant nothing to you either. I know that you feel the same way…"

Remus finally looked up and shook his head. "Tonks, being poor is only one thing. You know that I can be a target for Voldemort soon. I have unwanted connections to the Death Eaters, because of Wormtail and being Harry's old tutor and a werewolf! If Voldemort grew to associate you with me, I would be putting you in just as much danger as I am standing alone!"

"I have bad connections too!" Tonks said back. "Possibly even worse than you! My mother BETRAYED Bellatrix and Narcissa and was DISOWNED for not believing in their beliefs! Remus, we've been ATTACKED before, so don't you think I could've taken THAT into consideration as well?"

Remus looked at Tonks. Her brown hair was sad and dull. He didn't say anything.

"Remus, can you at least tell me something? Can you please assure me, and tell the truth, that this past year wasn't just a one-sided love affair? I need comfort, assurance, from you, that you loved me back, at least a LITTLE bit? Was there ANY love in there at all?"

Tonks looked up hopefully at Remus, who seemed to hesitate a moment. Without speaking, he nodded his head up and down. Tonks' heart leapt. She suddenly felt three times a optimistic as a second ago.

"There! Now what does anything else have to do with it? Love is there, so what else should matter? Money? No!" Tonks said. She paused a moment and smiled. "And you want proof that love is all you need?"

Remus looked at her with sad curiosity. Tonks sighed and pointed to the Weasley house. "Right there."

Arthur and Molly could be seen from the kitchen window. Arthur had his hand on Molly's shoulder. He gently sniffed the steam emerging from the pot of stew, and he looked pleased and kissed his wife's cheek. Tonks smiled.

"Arthur and Molly certainly aren't rich people. They have seven kids in a house that can barely fit two. Yet look at them! They're happy. They're healthy. They're together and don't give a damn about money. Why give up a beautiful opportunity such as this? Don't you want to be Arthur Weasley in ten years? Or would you rather be sitting in your ROOM in the slummy end of London, bottle of booze in one hand and your forehead in the other, wondering what might have been?" Tonks reasoned.

Remus shook his head and looked at Tonks with sadness, more than a moment ago. "Listen to yourself, Tonks."

"What does that mean?" Tonks pouted, crossing her arms.

"You are such a selfish girl with a lot of growing up left to do," Remus said calmly. "Voldemort is BACK. Sirius is DEAD. And here you are, trying to resurrect a relationship that can't come to maturity, ever. Stop thinking about yourself, Tonks. Because you really do need to grow up."

Tonks suddenly felt every ounce of hope she had drain slowly and painfully out of her. Selfish? Is that what he called her?

Well, maybe she was being selfish. Selfish for thinking of herself during a time of war. Death and destruction were looming, and indeed, she was trying to rekindle a dying flame because it made her feel better about herself and HER life.

So, she was beaten.

Tonks felt tears rush up to the corners of her eyelids. She tried to retain as much of her dignity as possible and she went to grab Remus' hand. She dropped Sirius' ring into it. Then, before she said another word, she stepped three full steps back. Remus felt the items in his hand…there was definitely more than one thing there.

"Tell Molly I'm eating with my parents tonight instead," Tonks said, punctuating the sentence with a sniff, trying to hold back tears. She quickly Disapparated just then with a loud _CRACK_!

Remus stood there in the open field outside the Burrow all alone, nearly blinded by the setting sun. He opened his hand. In addition to Padfoot's ring, his own blue crescent-moon ring laid in his palm.

Now it was Remus' turn to cry.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Sorry for the long delay between chapters, but between rehersals and schoolwork, I really had little time to work on this. So, for all those who review this chapter, an opportunity to travel to any time period in history with your favorite Order member (alive, or dead). Remus likes the intellectually stimulating Golden Age of Greece. Sirius likes stirring things up during the Age of Revolution. Tonks finds the Roaring twenties with all their speakeasies and jazz amusing. Have fun! _


	20. Get Out of My Life!

"Honestly, Nymphadora, the very idea that you had an affair with Remus Lupin in the first place is laughable!"

Tonks groaned and seriously contemplated dropping the piece of china she was carrying to the dinner table just to give her mother something to be speechless about. It would certainly help the miserable migraine she'd developed ever since moving back in with her parents temporarily.

"Why?" asked Tonks. "Why is it so laughable?"

Andromeda rolled her eyes. "You want the reasons alphabetically, chronologically, or in order of importance?"

"He's not BAD, Mum!" Tonks emphasized for about the eighth time.

Andromeda set the dish of asparagus on the table and went back into the kitchen to get the beef gravy for the cutlets she was serving. "Not at all. He's very decent."

"So…"

"…SO! Nymphadora, he is thirteen years older than you! I'M closer to his age than you are!"

Tonks bit her lower lip to keep from cursing. "Well, Mum, age is but a number, after all."

"But a number my bum!" Andromeda snapped back. "He is entirely too old for you. End of story. Would you be a dear and get the dry wine?"

Tonks flew to the wine cupboard and browsed the bottles without another word. It was the same conversation every night now for the past fortnight, the last night she'd had an encounter with anyone from the Order aside from Kingsley, who had helped her convince Madame Rosemerta to give her the room above the Three Broomsticks while she was on extended duty in Hogsmeade. She planned to move within the month. She did exchange owls with Molly (mainly about how much of a thorn in humanity's side men were), who told her as a little postscript at the end of every note that Remus had yet to leave for the werewolf colony. Tonks suspected he was growing cold feet and hesitating to go into action. Wouldn't be the first time, either.

"Mum, for once, can't you listen to me and understand?" Tonks whined.

"I should say the same," Andromeda moaned. "The one behind the coconut whiskey, dear."

Tonks quickly found the bottle and rushed it over to the table, where Ted began to pour three glasses.

"Dora, I think we should put the subject to rest for now, and for more than a day," ted advised mildly. "Tomorrow Mum's order of anti-gnome garden spray comes, so we'll need an extra hand or two spraying—"

"—stop talking to me like I'm ten, Dad!" Tonks growled, sitting down in her usual seat. Andromeda got up again to tend to a boiling pot. Tonks took this as a signal to lean down close to her father's ear and whisper. "Honestly, ever since Sirius died, Mum's been acting like a bitch!"

"NYMPHADORA TONKS!" Ted barked. "That language will not be excused in this house!"

"Well, you've been quite the bitch yourself," Andromeda retorted. Tonks rose an eyebrow and looked up. "Don't forget, I'm a mother. I have ears in the back of my head, just like the Muggle mothers do…"

"Darling, that's EYES," Ted corrected. Andromeda looked down at the pot she was carrying.

"No, turnips with a hint of cinnamon!" she said, putting the food on the table and finally sitting down herself to eat. "But we're getting off the subject. You're leaving us again in a month. Can you spare us at least one night of easygoing dinner conversation? PLEASE?" Andromeda asked. Tonks nodded and frowned. She made no move to fill her plate.

"Chudley Cannons actually won a game today," Ted began. Andromeda raised an eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Beat the Harpies three hundred and fifty to two hundred! It was a close game right up until Denny Ferguson caught the snitch," Ted said excitedly, recalling the game. Andromeda listened in with interest, even though Tonks knew Andromeda couldn't tell a snitch from a quaffle.

Tonks couldn't help but look longingly as Ted and Andromeda carried on their conversation. Their was a certain way Ted Tonks looked at his wife that made Tonks yearn even more for Remus' gaze. That look. The look that said, "I want to grow old beside you, and thank Merlin you are mine and I am yours." Had Remus ever given her that look? Tonks smiled internally and looked at her mother next. The way she kept flicking her thick brown hair back over her shoulder and fidgeted, as if a single molecule out of place meant she wasn't good enough for him, it was the way Tonks knew she looked when she was around Remus. If only this could be them in twenty years. Perhaps their own daughter would be in Tonks' place at the table…no, not a daughter. Tonks could always visualize herself with a son more, plainly because if she had a daughter, she would turn into her fussy mother.

But the warmth and chemistry between the two of them, as if invisible strings tied them together, was clear. The Bond of Love. The Bond Remus had broken with Tonks. If he had just let it grow, maybe this would have been their future.

Tonks felt a tear hit the corner of her eye just thinking like that. Ted laughed about something and tucked his napkin into his collar. Tonks was suddenly pulled out of her trance.

"Since when did you do that, Dad?" Tonks asked, indicating the napkin. Ted shrugged.

"This shirt is new, don't want gravy on it! Why do you ask?" Ted looked oddly at his daughter.

Tonks twisted her lip. "Remus does it all the time. Whenever we ate together, even at Order meetings—"

"Oh! Honestly, Nymphadora!" Andromeda slammed her hand down on the table. "One more word about Remus and you're going straight up to your room!"

"Actually, that sounds great! I hate turnips anyway!" Tonks growled, standing up and quickly leaving the table. Andromeda fumed and looked at Ted. Ted shrugged, slowly took the napkin out of his shirt and laid it gently on the table.

"Promise I won't do it again, love," he promised his wife.

* * *

Instead of going up to her room. Tonks decided to jump in the shower and let the hot water melt away the incessant pain that made her body throb. It seemed to sooth quite a bit of the leftover aches she had from the Battle in the Department of Mysteries (she still had a monster bruise on her stomach where Bellatrix' curse had hit her). But it, of course, did nothing for her headache or her emotional pain. Would it ever go away?

Tonks could hear a quick and sudden succession of loud taps, like an owl's beak, on the bathroom door. Who was knocking?

"Mum, go away!" Tonks yelled. It had to be dear old Andromeda. Her father was not one to intrude on one's shower unless the house was on fire.

The tapping continued. Tonks turned off the hot water and wrapped a towel around herself. "MUM! FOR MERLIN'S SAKE!"

The tapping continued on. Tonks went for the door, and she could hear Andromeda screaming from the other side. "Merlin's Beard! Let that damn owl in, Nymphadora!"

Tonks was confused. It was an owl after all. Tonks opened the door, and a somewhat unfamiliar owl soared into the room and perched itself on the sink faucet. It had a small letter in it's beak. The owl was brown and tattered. Tonks really didn't want to say in her mind "If Remus was an owl…"

She took the letter, but the owl didn't leave. "I'll get you a treat in a moment," Tonks muttered. Andromeda appeared in the doorway.

"Who the bloody hell sends post this time of night?" she muttered. Tonks looked up before even opening the letter.

"Mum. I'm wet and in a towel. Please leave me alone and warn Daddy not to come down this hall," she asked. Andromeda sighed and nodded. She then went down the stairs muttering in a somewhat similar fashion to Kreacher. Tonks rolled her eyes and opened the letter…

_Dora,_

_I leave this time next week. Molly told me what you've written in your letters, and I think we both need to be adults and talk this out in a calmer manner. This is Sheba, send her back to me with a reply as soon as possible. _

_I know it will be awkward, but I believe we need to end this past year on friendlier terms. _

_Signed,_

_Remus_

_PS: Sheba won't leave until she gets a reward. She's a stubborn little thing. _

Tonks could not believe what she was reading. So, he was really going. And he wanted to talk things out in a 'calmer manner.' Yeah, when pigs flew, Remus Lupin.

Tonks immediately went to her room and pulled out an old quill and a piece of parchment. Sheba flew into the room just behind her. The quill flew across the page with bitter rage.

_Remus,_

_There is nothing to discuss. Hope your mission goes well. _

_Signed, Tonks_

_PS: You really have some nerve to call me 'Dora.' _

The letter was cold, unfeeling, with a hint of venom between the lines. Good. Exactly how Tonks felt. Remus could not see the light, could he? She knew how this meeting would go: Remus would try to remain rational and stick by his decision that they would not get back together. She, in turn, would get irrational and insist that there was no reason they shouldn't try to keep a relationship going. It didn't matter that Remus was the werewolf that pursued her in 1979. It didn't matter that he was 'too old, too poor, and too dangerous.' None of it mattered. Because Tonks loved Remus. Maybe all it came down to was that Remus fell out of love with Tonks in return, and their relationship was exhausted. That was really all he had to say. And she'd had it up to high heaven with his excuses.

Tonks read over the email again proudly. She then found some owl treats and gave Sheba a small portion, and sent her off to her owner with her reply.

The last thing Tonks needed right now was to put salt into the wound Remus had made in her heart. As much as it would hurt, Tonks knew she had to get Remus out of her life before any more of her was destroyed.

* * *

Tonks never received a reply or another plea from Remus for the following week, so she concluded that Remus had forced himself to write that first owl out of good measure, and her declining his offer wasn't a huge blow to his heart. She spent the next month secluding herself at home, preparing for her Hogsmeade duty. She was staying there indefinitely, so she packed her entire room up and prepared to leave. The little social interacting she did get was from Molly and Mad-Eye. She still occasionally went to work, but not nearly as much of her was required there as before (she noted with little amusement that Percy Weasley constantly asked her where that redheaded intern Colette had gone off to). As for Remus, she assumed that by now, he was settled in the werewolf camp outside Liverpool.

Three nights before she planned to leave for Hogsmeade, Tonks decides to give one last visit to the Burrow. She was downstairs watching Andromeda fix some stew for supper.

"Mum, I'm going to the Burrow for dinner," Tonks said. Andromeda looked up at her.

"Good, because you've been nothing more than a breathing lump for the last month in this house. You need to be social again! You need to meet boys! I heard Charlie Weasley was inducted into the Order a week ago. Maybe he's still interested—"

"—no boys, Mum," Tonks cut off. She had missed the meeting where Charlie Weasley was inducted. "Just a quiet dinner with the Weasleys," she insisted. Andromeda looked at Tonks and nodded.

"I guess I just want to see the old spark you used to have, Nymphadora. You're hair has been brown for a solid month now," she said, putting her arm on her daughter's shoulder. "There's been a lot of emotional stress on a girl your age. What with Remus and Sirius and all this war mayhem in between. I'm worried."

"I am too," Ted said, just coming into the kitchen to join the pair.

"Well, don't worry about me," Tonks said. Andromeda nodded again, then turned away.

"But don't waltz in without an invitation. Tell Molly you're coming. It's not polite."

Tonks nodded and got out her wand. Thinking of Christmas last year as her memory, and how happy she'd felt when Remus slipped his moonstone ring onto her finger, Tonks closed her eyes, waved her wand and recited the message she planned to give Molly.

_"Leaving in three days, coming for dinner, hope it's alright…"_

"Nymphadora! Your Patronus! What happened?" Andromeda suddenly cried.

Tonks opened her eyes, expecting to see the giddy little white ferret she made so many times before without breaking a sweat. Instead, she saw a big, four-legged lupine animal stalking at her feet, waiting for her to flick her wand to send it off to Molly.

"It…it changed!" Tonks gasped. "Can it do that?"

"Merlin's Beard, it's a wolf!" Andromeda exclaimed. Tonks quickly flicked her wand, and the wolf bounded out the window and in the direction of The Burrow. Tonks was still quite surprised at the last little bit of white as is disappeared. A wolf. Her ferret had changed into a wolf.

"That happened to me," Ted said. Tonks looked over at him, her eyes still wide.

"Daddy?"

"It happens when there is a big emotional change in your life. Mine changed during school. It was the year I met your mother, actually. Before I could make a salmon, but after I met your Mum, my patronus changed into gorilla."

"Why a gorilla?" asked Tonks.

"Well, I guess Mum helped me find hidden strength in me," Ted said. "I was a very quiet, passive boy until she came along. And I think it's quite obvious why yours changed."

Tonks nodded. Remus had done it again, even when he didn't do anything.

"I'm going to go now," Tonks said quickly, Disapparating out of the kitchen before her parents could see her cry.

* * *

Of course, the patronus was the first thing Molly inquired about when Tonks arrived at the Burrow. Tonks explained everything to the extent of her knowledge, but that wasn't very much.

"Well, it sounds to me that maybe you still haven't been able to clear you mind of him," Molly said. "I still think Remus is being utterly ridiculous."

"Well, not much can be done about it now," Tonks muttered.

"And why is that, dear?" Molly asked.

"Because he's already out in Liverpool," Tonks said. "Among the werewolves."

Molly shook her head. "Oh dear, he hasn't gone out yet. He's not leaving until the start of the school term!"

Tonks suddenly perked up a bit upon hearing this. "He hasn't left yet?"

"He got your owl back saying you wanted to have nothing to do with him and he made the decision that he didn't want to leave any earlier than he had to, and Dumbledore expressed that Remus could take the summer off to settle his nerves a bit."

Tonks gasped. "My owl never said I wanted nothing to do with him!"

Molly looked up from the cutting board and the pile of chopped carrots in front of her. "Well, what did it say, dearie?"

"All it said was that there is nothing more to be…" Tonks said, before breaking down at last. She felt like she'd stuffed corks in the corners of her eyes to keep the tears from pouring, and now the damns had broken and her face was flooded. Molly dashed over to Tonks to put an arm around her.

"Oh Tonks, I'm dreadfully sorry…"

"I really can't forget him, Molly," Tonks cried. "My patronus has changed, and yet he thinks I still am afraid of him! Him and his disgusting excuses!"

"Sh, dear. I know, I know," Molly crooned softly in a meager attempt to calm Tonks down. Needless to say, this didn't help.

"All I want is to either have him again, or to completely get him out of my life altogether!" Tonks exasperated.

But that was when their conversation was interrupted by harry Potter and Albus Dumbledore. Harry had been taken to the Burrow for the remainder of the summer holidays. Tonks didn't want him seeing her in such a state, so she decided not to stay for dinner. Molly mentioned that Remus planned on coming fir supper, but for some reason, Tonks still declined.

She spent the last three days of her Order hiatus crying in her room.

* * *

_**A/N: **__That was just a little emotional filler, and I'm sorry for having you put up with it. All those who review anyway get 24 hours with a special power that is associated with the Order member of your choosing. Tonks comes with metamorphagusing, Sirius with animgusing, an Remus wouldn't want you to 'suffer' like he does, so you get 24 hours with the ability to produce patronuses that can impress your friends and make your enemies pee their pants! _


	21. Cant You Hear Her? Part I

_**A/N:** First off all, lt me apologize for the pause in updates. I've been mad busy. Next, __I have a little announcement to make to all you loyal fans reading (and hopefully, reviewing as well) this story__. _

_Secondly, as of this chapter, I am going on a brief writing hiatus in order to reconvene with my muse for this story. You see, at the rate this story is going and how it took 20 chapters to get through the events of Order of the Phoenix alone, it looks like this fic isn't halfway done yet. That would make this the longest damn story I ever wrote, and I also want it to be the best story I ever wrote. This one month hiatus will help me figure out where I am going with this. I already know I want to quicken the pace, because the Half Blood Prince events are going to be hell to write, seeing as they mainly will be Tonks crying her eyes out and Remus reconsidering everything, blah, blah, blah. I want to make these next few chapters more than that, and the hiatus will help with that. Because I know once I hit the events of Deathly Hallows, this fic's action element will pick up again, but it will be a challenge getting to that point. _

_To those who are sad to see me go, be assured that it will ONLY be a a little more than a month, and hopefully by July 9__th (exactly one month after my 20th birthday)__, it will be ended by a new chapter appearing, so keep an eye out and keep reviewing! To those who whine: would you rather have a story finished tomorrow with a sucky second-half, or a fic that's finished in December (hypothetically) with an incredible ending? Yes, despite this fic being completely canon, I can still make a really good ending. _

_Those who want to chat with me about this fic or ask questions, feel free to meet me either on my own Remus/Tonks forum (__**The Full Moon Pub**__) or where I usually hang, __**The Reviews Lounge**__. For this is only a WRITING hiatus, not a chatting or reviewing hiatus! See you in a month!_

* * *

Tonks moved into the small suite above the Three Broomsticks that Saturday, the second Saturday in August. Madame Rosemerta had stocked the room (usually reserved for travelers passing through) with towels, soaps and shampoos, and she even stocked the cupboard with dishware and food. Tonks had just assumed for the duration of her mission she would eat downstairs in the pub. The suite itself was only half the size of the tavern downstairs, for the other half was Rosemerta's own quarters on the other side of a small hallway. But compared to the Tonks Cottage, it was as big as the Hufflepuff Common Room (and that was decently big). A small sitting room and kitchenette was the first room when Tonks entered. A small hallway led to the bathroom, and a door led to the bedroom. In the bedroom, a window overlooked the center of Hogsmeade village, and in the distance, above the street scene below, was Hogwarts, standing proud and tall at the side of the Black Lake. The setting sun when Tonks moved it was red and purple and setting over the castle. It was a genuine postcard view.

Tonks offered to help Rosemerta in the pub on busy nights to pay for her keep, but Rosemerta insisted that what she was doing for the cause was payment enough: Keeping Hogsmeade safe. Tonks was well aware she was the only one on duty, because her would-be partner, Emmeline Vance, had been killed by Death Eaters just a single day prior, and no one volunteered to take her place. Apparently, the pairs rule did not exist anymore now that deaths were beginning to occur. Remus was alone in his mission too. However, as much a loss to the Order as Emmeline's death was, Tonks did not personally miss the woman too much. She was always too formal and very boring. Tonks never bothered to get to know Emmeline, but she did pay her respects as any respectable acquaintance would nonetheless.

Tonks unpacked and crashed down on the bed to sleep before nine that evening, just after setting up a small photograph of Remus next to the bed.

Sunday, the first day after Tonks settled herself into her new apartment, she went down to have breakfast with Madame Rosemerta before the Sunday-brunch crowd came in. Tonks would only sip some mint tea, and Rosemerta noticed.

"Tonks, love, you sure you're not going to touch your toast?" she asked. Tonks shook her head.

"No, I'm still quite tired. Didn't get much sleep last night," Tonks replied. "But, duty calls. The Hogsmeade road won't pace itself."

Rosemerta nodded and cleared her throat before speaking again. "Admirable," she said.

"What is?" Tonks asked.

"A lass your age taking on such a job in times like these. Out of school for only a few years, out of Auror training for only two years. A hundred years ago, I'll bet the youngest Auror was close to ten years older."

"Please, Madame Rosemerta, I'm not really in the proper mood to be admired right now. Most of this talk is going in ten meters over my head," Tonks said softly. Madame Rosemerta sighed and understood.

"More tea, then?" she offered. Tonks shook her head and got up. Making sure her wand was in her back pocket, she headed for the door that would take her out onto the street.

"Before you go—" Rosemerta suddenly stopped. Tonks flipped her head around.

"Yes?"

"Just a bit of a suggestion, but if you're looking for conspiracies or suspicious activities, the Shrieking Shack is a great place to find it," Rosemerta advised. Tonks knitted her eyebrows.

"Oh?"

Rosemerta nodded. "It's got no windows and doors, but there are things that happen in there, mark my words," she informed.

"Then how do you get inside?" Tonks asked.

"I don't know if I'm supposed to know, but I overheard a young James Potter—mischievous little devil he was back then—talk about the entrance being under the Whomping Willow," Rosemerta said.

Tonks nodded silent thanks and wandered out of the bar and down the street. She was only playing dumb for the most part. She knew what the Shrieking Shack was, and it was where Remus would transform during his school days. But she never knew the way in, and she assumed Remus never intended to take her to a place with such terrible memories for him.

The streets weren't crowded, but nor were they deserted. Tonks easily made her way out of the village. Deciding that Rosemerta might actually have something there with suspicious activity occurring in the Shack, Tonks decided to have a look for herself. She could not Apparate directly into the Shack, so Tonks trekked up the hill to the Whomping Willow. Upon seeing the tree violently wave it's branches, Tonks raised her wand.

"_Immobilus_!" she said, shooting white sparks up at the tree, paralyzing it for a moment. Tonks quickly scurried to the base of the tree and hunted around for an opening. She found a hole barely big enough for a grown man to fit into, and she crawled in quickly before the spell wore off the tree.

She followed the dark tunnel until she found herself climbing stairs again. She opened the door to find a large, dusty, run down old room. This was it. The whole Shack must have been this one room. Granted, it was a fairly large room, but nonetheless, when you're a full-grown werewolf, longing for the open air, Tonks could see where this room got stuffy.

In the dusty on the floor, Tonks could make out odd-looking prints. Most were, interestingly, human prints. Not full-grown prints, but possibly preteen footprints. There was a set of paw prints (Padfoot's?) and then a set of small mouse-like trails that suddenly evolved into full-grown feet (Wormtail's?). The whole floor looked like two or three years ago, some erratic tango was rehearsed here.

Tonks surveyed the empty room cautiously. There were remains of whatever activity she assumed was in here last. A piece of rough cloth, almost like the prison suits the prisoners in Azkaban wore, caught in a floorboard. Did Sirius hide out here while he was newly escaped, knowing no one would look for him there?

Tonks looked down at the piece of cloth, and for no reason, grabbed it and attempted to pry it free from the splintered floorboard. It was stuck more than Tonks anticipated, and when the cloth finally ripped free, she was thrown back by the release of force several feet, hitting her head against the wall and causing a shower of dust to fall over her. Tonks groaned. What a great time to be a clumsy fool.

Tonks stood up and suddenly realized that she'd not hit the wall. The piece of wall she'd hit sounded hollow and seemed to have been forced free of whatever lock and key it was under. There was another room. And what was that silvery-blue glow coming from it?

Tonks had to investigate. She armed herself with her wand and cautiously stepped inside this newly-discovered room. It was no bigger than a closet and very bare, though not as dusty as the rest of the Shack. The only thing that occupied the room was a large crudely-made stone basin, the source of the strange blueish glow.

It was easily recognizable to Tonks as a Pensieve.

But what the bloody hell was a Pensieve doing in the Shrieking Shack? Wizards who used Pensieves were major Aurors or Ministry members, older people who forget easily. Mad-Eye had a Pensieve (though his paranoid nature refused to let anyone near it).

It occurred to Tonks this could've been Remus' own Pensieve. But why? Remus only used this Shack in his childhood. No child knew how to create or properly use a Pensieve (Tonks herself was still completely unsure of how they worked). No child NEEDED to use a Pensieve. Besides, wouldn't it have made more sense for a Pensieve to be put up in a place Remus still went to often? Like, his HOME?

Tonks put her wand in her back pocket and moved up to the Pensieve. Should she look inside? She'd find out whose thoughts were stored here. Then again, she'd clearly be invading privacy. Then AGAIN, if this belonged to a Death Eater, or Voldemort himself, she could emerge from this basin having done a service worth an Order of Merlin…

Tonks decided to dive head first into the Pensieve before her conscience got the better of her. She felt herself falling as the world around her changed all of a sudden…

* * *

Tonks landed face down on a hard, wooden surface. She coughed and brushed herself off. Getting to her feet, Tonks realized that she hadn't moved anywhere. She was still in the Shrieking Shack in the daytime. Maybe the Pensieve was so old it didn't work? Did the person who owned it die, and therefore the memories didn't exist anymore?

But Tonks could hear other voices. Boys' voices. Young boys' voices. Tonks ducked behind a wooden beam, until she realized she still had to be in the Pensieve, so therefore to whoever was here now, she would be invisible.

Curiously, she followed the sounds of the voices back into the small room that contained the Pensieve. It lacked the silver glow it had before.

Four boys, two taller than average, pone average, and one short and dumpy, stood hovered around the large, familiar stone basin. Tonks could discern full conversation from the door now.

"Well I think it's brilliant!" said the short lad.

"Wormy, you think everything is brilliant!" moaned the tallest of the four, whom Tonks seemed to find strangely familiar….

"So, Padfoot?" challenged the average-height boy. "Wormtail can think whatever he wants."

"Moony, I still don't understand why the bloody hell you need one of these?" asked the second tallest boy. Tonks still could not see faces, but the name 'Moony' immediately rang a bell with Tonks, and she realized a young Remus had to be among them. Were…were these The Four Marauders? They had to be. Who else COULD they be?

Then this WAS Remus' Pensieve!

"You see, Prongs, when you're taking three extra classes in order to potentially earn your N.E.W.T.s a whole term early, you feel your mind is a wee bit stretched. I have no room in my brain for memories when I have to make room for Ancient Runes and Seventh-Year Arithmancy!" explained the boy of average height, Moony. Tonks' Moony.

"Won't you get into trouble?" Wormtail asked. Moony shook his head.

"No. Pensieves are not illegal. This was mighty tricky to prepare, and the fact that as a sixth year I could pull it off might make some of the Professors a bit nervous, however," Moony explained.

"Nerd," Padfoot muttered. Moony nodded.

"I try my damndest," Moony retorted. Tonks smiled. As a boy, Remus wasn't bad looking. But the scars on his face looked even more painful on the younger, tighter skin.

"Even if I wanted one, I don't think I'd be able to make it," Prongs said. "You're a genius. He'll probably invent some wand that Muggles could use to do magic next!"

Moony shook his head. "That's physically impossible. This, however, DID take intense, deep studying and research since spring term our second year. Just now I finally figured the last bit out."

"It's just your ruddy memories we can shove in this thing, is it?" Padfoot joked. "I mean, if Prongs and I finally are able is successfully make Snivellus dunk his OWN greasy head in the loo, we couldn't save that grand feat for posterity to treasure?"

Moony shrugged. "I suppose if I were there to see it, maybe. But no. It takes only my memories."

"And why is this out here in the Shack?" asked Prongs. Tonks laughed at this whole interrogation. "Once we graduate, you won't have access to it!"

"Oh, I will," Moony argued. "Once I pass the Apparition test, I could always Apparate here to store a memory because it's just outside the school gate. But here, I know no one can look into my private thoughts without my permission…"

Padfoot raised a mischievous eyebrow, and Tonks felt a pang of guilt surge through her.

"Let's see you put your first memory in there!" asked Wormtail, who looked so excited he could wet himself. "Please, Moony?"

"Yeah, before Wormy has a coronary!" Padfoot laughed. Prongs laughed too. Moony nodded.

"My first memory is the four of us hovered over this thing, talking about me putting my first memory in here," Moony snorted, putting his wand to his forehead. Tonks smiled. Remus was such a smart lad.

A ribbon of silverish-blue began to appear out of the side of Remus' head. The world around Tonks changed as the memory ended.

* * *

The world around Tonks re-materialized in the hallway outside the Great Hall. Tonks was standing off near the hallway that lead to Ravenclaw Tower. Two people, Moony and a girl Tonks could not recognize, stood facing each other up against the wall a few feet away. Tonks was, again, completely invisible. The girl was Moony's exact height, a little chubby around the middle, had a dusty blonde head of frizzy hair, and had a nose that looked too small for the rest of her face. She was not pretty in the least, at least in Tonks' eyes. She wore the robes of a Ravenclaw. Tonks could see the tears on her cheeks shining in the torchlight.

"I really don't care," said the girl. Her voice was deeper than most girls her age Tonks had heard. "I really am not afraid of you. I'm glad you came to me with this, but what difference does that make?"

Tonks already knew what was going down. Moony was giving this girl the same excuses he gave her. The excuses Sirius talked about many times.

"I'm too dangerous for you, Nellie," Moony said. "One night during a full moon and you make one wrong move with me, you're history. I can't do that to you. You're too nice a girl."

"This reason is ridiculous," pouted Nellie. "I JUST said I don't care!"

"You tell him, sweetheart," Tonks mumbled under her breath.

"If there's another reason," Nellie asserted. "I would like to hear it. Be honest. I've heard it all in the past! What is wrong with me?" Tonks could hear the desperation in her voice rise.

Moony took the girl's hand in his and looked her right in the eye. "Listen to me, Nellie Ryan, there is nothing wrong with YOU!"

The name triggered a stray thought in Tonks head. There was a half-blood woman named Nellie Ryan-Wilkinson who worked with Arthur Weasley in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Department at the Ministry. Perhaps it was she? The nose and figure were different now, but the hair was a dead ringer. She was married to a Muggle named George Wilkinson, who worked as what the Muggles called an 'insurance auditor.' Nellie had tried to explain it to Tonks once, and Tonks had to excuse herself before she fell asleep over her desk.

But regardless, it was already obvious how this scene was going to end up.

"Just….go away!" Nellie suddenly blurted. "Lie to me. I know it has to be me," she said boldly, strongly, without a hint of tears or crying fits in her voice.

"Nellie, let me explain—"

"—I think enough was said here!" Nellie said sharply, jerking her hand out of Moony's hand. She crossed her arms and turned towards Tonks, looking her right in the eye, but obviously not seeing her. Moony looked slightly hurt and casually brushed off his robes and walked away, looking totally fine now.

Nellie looked to see if he was gone, then began weeping. Tonks gritted her teeth and followed Moony, who was no quite out of sight yet. She wanted to punch him.

"Moony!" she called out. "You ass! Can't you see she loves you? Can't you hear her?! She's crying for YOU, and you break her heart because you are a selfish bastard! Can't you even—"

But when Tonks turned the corner, she saw Moony, forehead against the wall, fighting back tears of his own. He looked almost ready to explode, and Tonks suddenly realized something she hadn't before, and it hurt her insides thinking about it. Remus was not being selfish in breaking up with her. It hurt him just as much, maybe even more. Maybe, maybe he truly felt it was his job to keep the one he loved safe from all harm?

Tonks put a hand gently on Moony's shoulder as he fought back more tears.

"Moony?" a deep voice called from behind the pair. Both Moony and Tonks turned around to see Padfoot, his handsomely long hair casually pulled back into a ponytail (Moony's shaggy hair was kept down around his ears). "Please say you didn't do it again."

Moony nodded. "You know as well as I that I have no choice—"

"—rubbish," Padfoot hissed. "What did you say this time? What her hair too big? Was she too fat? Was it the fact that her chest is too small for the rest of her?"

Moony growled. "I told the truth this time, Pads." Tonks looked up at Padfoot. She was surprised to see the look on his face. He seemed surprised at this news himself.

"Well, there's a start, anyway," Padfoot mumbled. "Maybe next time you'll have the guts to actually keep a girl for more than a fortnight." Coldly, Padfoot turned his back on Moony and strolled down the hall, leaving Moony there alone. Tonks wanted to hug him, but the scene around her changed once more.

* * *

Tonks was no longer in Hogwarts. Now she seemed to be in a small, but nicely-furnished sitting room, decorated for the Christmas holiday. The people in the room were all gathered around another person, sitting in a fetal position on the sofa. The man in the fetal position was Moony. The redheaded woman at his side rubbing his shoulder gently was Lily Potter, Tonks saw (she could recognize her from pictures, for unlike Nellie Ryan, Lily was an attractive young woman). Prongs (aka James Potter) was standing with his head in his hands, his back to the two others. He seemed to be thinking deeply.

"I don't understand how you even came to be in their possession in the first place. Was it an accident, Moony?" Prongs spoke after a few minutes.

Moony looked up. The scars on his face now were red and deep. The full moon was very recently past.

"Prongs, I would never…I still can't believe I…" Moony stuttered. Lily gently rubbed his shoulder and 'shhed' him. Moony seemed to have little comfort from this.

"Remus, what's done is done. I trust you and know you would never betray anyone," Prongs reasoned. "But what I'm worried about is when Padfoot gets he—"

The door slammed open and Prongs was caught off guard. Tonks jumped a foot in the air and fell backwards. Padfoot stood in the doorway, looking angry. No, furious. No, absolutely driven to madness. He looked like a wild animal about to kill. He eyed Moony as if Moony was his intended prey.

"Padfoot," Prongs said quickly, running to his friend's side. "Before you say anything—"

"—bet he's pretty damn pissed because he didn't get them!" Padfoot said, his voice surprisingly civil as he stepped into the room. Tonks could smell the firewhiskey on his breath from across the room. "When Mad-Eye told me how he plucked Andromeda's daughter from the middle of the woods outside their cottage after she was microseconds away from being YOUR midnight meal, I didn't believe it!"

Tonks understood the scene now, and it took her longer to do so than the previous two memories. The date was December 18, 1979. The day after her home was attacked and she nearly got the bite from Remus Lupin. This was the beginning of the end of The Marauders. For Tonks knew from one of the many rantings of Sirius Black under the influence of alcohol, this was around the time Sirius began to suspect Remus of being capable of betrayal, and Remus began mistrusting Sirius. Tonks had no idea she was behind much of the suspicions that tore the four (five, counting Lily) friends apart forever.

"But when he showed me the destroyed house this morning, and the tiny footprints in the snow, followed by paw prints, I realized…you…you sold yourself to the Death Eaters in exchange for safety!" Padfoot quickly accused. Lily gasped airily.

Prongs went wide eyed and looked hurt. "Padfoot, friends don't betray. It's a rule of the world. I believe Moony was either tricked or forced against his will into this situation."

"I don't want to hear it!!" Padfoot shrieked. "FUCK FRIENDS!! HE NEARLY KILLED MY LITTLE COUSIN, THE ONE **WHO HAPPENS** TO BE THE FIRST HALF-BLOODED BLACK!! Sound a little SUSPICIOUS, Moony old boy?!"

Tonks was flat-out frightened by the maddened appearance of Sirius Black.

Padfoot looked at the visible occupants of the room. He gritted his teeth and uttered a low growl. Afterwards, the room was dead silent for a while minute before Moony broke it meekly.

"I…I didn't mean to…"

But Padfoot slammed his fist with full-force and then some into the wall, causing a framed photo to fall and shatter. Everyone jumped up and stood back with the exception of Moony. Padfoot then stood in the doorway for another minute before rushing out. The room was silent in the aftermath of Padfoot's quick but powerful visit.

The scene melted away before Tonks, and she felt herself thrown backwards.

* * *

Tonks fell flat on her back as she was ejected from the Pensieve. She was back in the present, dust-encrusted Shrieking Shack, in the present day. No one else was with her in the room as she got to her feet and dusted herself off, or so she thought at first.

Because the moment she turned around to exit the Pensieve closet, she found herself face to face with, who else but the Pensieve's owner: Remus Lupin.


	22. Cant You Hear Her? Part II

_**A/N: **__Alas, here I am, back from hiatus with another chapter of my fic for you all to enjoy (and review…right)? I know my hiatus wasn't due to expire until July 9th, but I feel it has actually served it's purpose to it's fullest extent (plus, I was itching to write again!) so, I declare my writing hiatus finished! Sorry for the wait, but the previous A/N explains everything, and thanks to all those who supported my hiatus decision (which was pretty much everyone who follows this story regularily). I do hope my hiatus was not in vain, and that you like the direction I chose to take! Review and I solemnly swear I will not go on a hiatus again! ;) Well, maybe not, that totally depends on how many reviews I get! Ha, I know I'm mean…._

* * *

Looking at Remus was like looking at a stranger to Tonks, especially here and now. Peakier than usual, paler, his facial scars more vivid than Tonks had ever seen, Remus looked like a train wreck in the form of a very….angry (or upset) wizard. He looked at her as if she'd just read every secret page in his very soul and stripped it down to the core. What the hell was he doing here anyway?

"Remus?" Tonks asked, hiding the surprise in her voice. "Why aren't you--?"

"It's not like once I'm there, I'm trapped there until my sentence is over," Remus replied, with just as little emotion in his tone as Tonks. "But I should be asking you the same damn thing."

"I was alerted to 'suspicious activity' in here, and I came to investigate," Tonks replied. "This Pensieve could've belonged to a Death Eater!"

"But it doesn't," Remus shot back. "After I inserted my last memory, it was James who suggested I put a charm on it, so if anyone were to look inside it without my expressed permission, I would be notified."

"Well, leave it to you to not be trusting of anyone," Tonks said bitterly, puckering her lips to keep the desire she had to kiss him smack on the lips, then slice his head off and mount it on a pole well hidden. Remus didn't even blink. They stared each other down for a solid minute before the silence was broken.

"How much did you see?"

"Enough to realize that our scenario isn't exactly as original as I'd thought," Tonks replied. That was when Remus' face broke down and showed emotion for the first time. Tonks was stubborn and refused to yield.

"Dora—"

"—TONKS!" she spat. Remus nodded in solemn surrender.

"Maybe I shouldn't be so angry. You were justified, and you never took Ancient Runes, did you?"

Tonks nodded. "As a matter of fact, yes. But only for a year. It's one of the few classes Auror training didn't require."

Remus nodded and surprisingly, a faint smile grew on his lips. "It reads my name along the base. Remus John Lupin."

Tonks nodded. She still refused to back down. She couldn't understand why Remus seemed to feel like this was an average conversation.

"Well?"

"Well, what?" asked Remus, crossing his arms.

"You know now it was me, and I have no further business being in here, so why are you bothering to stay?" Tonks asked. Remus' smile faded, but just the same did not turn into a frown.

"I really don't know myself," Remus said. "This room held so many memories for me, maybe a part of me wants to stay here rather than go back to Liverpool," he sighed. Tonks looked around.

"You transformed here every month during school. Sirius told me. You, him, and Harry's father," Tonks acknowledged. Remus nodded.

"They made the pain of becoming a beast go away. Without them, I might not be here right now, to be honest," Remus said lightly.

"You never struck me as the wholly suicidal type," Tonks muttered. Remus shook his head.

"It was only a brief thought or two when I was a lad. After I was bitten, my mother practically raised me herself. My father treated me differently, and not in a good way. I'd taken a bullet for him, and he began treating me like a neighbor's child instead of his own. "

"I…I never knew," Tonks whispered.

"Of course, I never tried to kill myself. I was only ten, young and friendless, and afraid too. Luckily, I quickly matured, and once I was off to school, my whole perception of the world changed for the better when Sirius and James came into my life." Remus looked at an old overturned chair in the middle of the room and gently ran his hand up and down a leg. He looked as if he was glad in a way to be back.

Tonks nodded silently and listened.

"I realized someone like me could have true friends, and wasn't necessarily a monster from contamination onward," Remus continued. "They worked so hard on becoming Animagi for me, too. I realized they really didn't care who I was."

"Neither do I, but you still can't hear me," Tonks interjected.

Remus looked at her with a look she hadn't seen in a long time, not since Tonks first kissed him back in her flat nine months prior. It was a look of genuine surprise and thoughtfulness rolled into one.

"Remus…" Tonks sighed. "Why do you think I'm any different from Sirius and James? Why do you cling to the notion I'm shallow and will leave you?"

Remus avoided Tonks' gaze. "I don't think you're different than they are, and that's the problem."

She knew she was going to get a genuine answer this time. She could feel it.

"Because I don't want history to repeat itself. I don't want you to be another victim in my past like they are," Remus said. Tonks saw the sincerity in his eyes as he made his confession. "James didn't care about my lycanthropy either, and neither did Sirius. Look where they both are now and do the math. I…I love you too much. And Tonks, you're so young! You have decades to live, Dor—Tonks!"

Tonks had nothing to add when he paused. That said it all.

"It took me years to teach myself that James' death had nothing to directly do with me. I still am haunted at night with the visions of Sirius falling through those curtains. And Tonks, I almost killed you once already. It's almost bound to happen again if—and if you do die somehow because of us, I will never be able to live with myself again."

Tonks took a deep breath. "Remus…hear me out this time…" she began to say as she walked towards him. But Remus didn't wait for her to finish before giving her a rough kiss on her forehead. Tonks looked up and saw the single tear in the corner of his eye. She reached up and tenderly brushed it away with her thumb.

"I don't like men who cry," Tonks said. "It means I did something wrong."

Remus leaned down and kissed her again, much more smoothly and tenderly. Tonks relished it, as if she was rubbing her lips up against a bar of Honeyduke's Best.

Tonks threw her arms around his shoulders and returned the kiss. Suddenly, she pulled her lips away from his.

"You'll be leaving me again, though…?" she asked.

Remus nodded. "It's the way things have to be done. The only way. Be an adult and understand, please," Remus begged. Tonks was still holding on to him.

"I'm a big girl and can take care of myself, and that includes when I am with you," Tonks whispered, leaning in to kiss the spot under Remus' ears he loved being kissed so much.

"No…no I must leave for Liverpool again tomorrow…" Remus moaned.

"Then I will just have to stop time…" was her only reply this time.

* * *

Tonks knew Dumbledore would not approve if he ever found out Tonks finished her first day of duty in Hogsmeade having sex with Remus on the floor of the Shrieking Shack, then lying naked in his arms for most of that night. But she wasn't about to go running up the hill to tell him such things anyway.

The early light of dawn was not nearly enough to illuminate the room, but there was a small hint of a lighter shade of blue sky through a small hole in the ceiling above Tonks' head. Remus' cloak, which he wore to the Shack despite it being summer, was their blanket.

Tonks knew last night had meant nothing, even though it was possibly the best time they'd ever had yet. Remus was still lost. But perhaps the feelings she'd explored and experienced were enough cause to fight harder for him. It was now an easier battle as well. She knew the truth behind Remus' rejecting of her. There had been too much loss in his life, and losing his girlfriend would be re-opening a wound and pouring salt on it. He clearly loved her, but now she knew why he was being such a jerk. It was because he wasn't a jerk at all.

He was protecting her. Not from his lycanthropy, but from his tragic history. He himself had called her a 'victim of his past.' Did his past hurt him that much?

It made Tonks feel guilty for being so rash to judge him. She'd thought he just wanted to loose himself from her side like the other girls during his school years with excuses and criticism. But thanks to the Pensieve, she knew now that not EVERY girl he dated had a fault that he deemed worthy, so to compensate, he brought up his own. And he only broke up with Nellie Ryan and whoever the others were because he didn't want them to have the pain he had. It was selflessness all along.

It made so much sense, then again, it still made no sense at all. And it really made Tonks feel bad. She owed him an apology greater than any one she'd ever given him before.

Of course, that still didn't mean she wasn't going to fight for him. She just needed to take a different approach.

She could feel Remus' breathing deepen, and his muscles were stirring. He was waking. Tonks shot up and gave him room to breathe. The cloak fell off, exposing her naked upper body to him as he looked up at her.

"For Merlin's sake, Tonks, cover up!"

"Does it matter, you ridiculous man?" Tonks sighed. "You seen worse and done worse to me than looking at my chest!"

Remus groaned and turned to face the ceiling. "Morning?"

"Twilight," Tonks muttered.

"Oh, it's not," Remus muttered. Tonks nodded.

"Wishful thinking, then," she conceded. Remus slowly sat up and took her in his arms, embracing her tightly.

"As you move on with your life, at least you know now that it was never just a fling," he whispered sensually in her ear. Tonks sighed with pleasure. Another batch of semi-comforting words.

"But I'll never move on," she insisted.

Remus placed his forehead gently against Tonks and looked her square in the eye. "Don't be a fool. Settle down. Marry. I won't feel betrayed. I might even be happy that you were pursuing your own happiness."

"But I've found it already, and it lies with you," Tonks said. Remus pulled away and stood up to begin searching for his robes.

"I thought this was finally settled," Remus said.

"You thought wrong," Tonks retorted, standing up defiantly. "If the only way to get through to you is sex, then Merlin help me, I will become a whore."

Remus turned to look at his lover. She stood before him, serious and stark naked, her hands on her hips.

"Don't sell yourself short like that. Don't waste your gifts a hopeless dream." Remus found his wand and raised it. _"Lumos!"_ The room was lit up with the little ball of light coming from his wand.

"Too late, their sold," Tonks said. "Sadly, determination is among those gifts of mine you mentioned."

Remus nodded. "We really shouldn't do this ever again." He finally found his pile of clothes and began redressing, Tonks made no move towards the clothes still.

Nor did she reply. Maybe she needed to let him go. He was in his mindset and as of now, it looked like the winds of change were still a ways off. For now, she needed to concede.

"You need to go before Fenrir realizes one of his 'children' has been sleeping with the enemy," Tonks joked. She could have sworn she heard Remus chuckle deep in his throat, although his face said otherwise.

"I hope we can still be—"

"—no friends. We're co-workers, and that is all," Tonks said with mock sternness. Remus suddenly scowled in a different way. Tonks wondered what she'd said wrong.

"Sarcasm doesn't flatter you, Tonks," Remus said coldly, turning his back to her to put on the last of his robes. Tonks finally decided to drape her robe over her shoulders, but it barely made an effort to cover anything up. Remus didn't turn around again even for one last glance before heading for the door.

"REMUS!" Tonks suddenly called. Remus stopped just before the threshold and turned to face her again.

"It…it wasn't a fling after all?" Tonks asked, needing reassurance. Remus smiled mildly. So mildly, in fact, that Tonks couldn't see the upward turn of the corners of his lips. Only Remus knew about the smile.

"No. Not a fling," he said softly. Then he left Tonks standing naked and alone in the Shrieking Shack.

Those last words told Tonks everything. They told her what to do to get Remus back in her arms forever. They told her what their destinies were. Within those few ambiguous words lied the promise of a million Unbreakable Vows.

She had to write a letter to Molly Weasley.

* * *

_24th August, 1996_

_Dear Molly,_

_We slept together yesterday, in the Shrieking Shack in Hogsmeade. He came to me after I discovered his secret Pensieve, but that's a long story for a longer letter when I have the time for one. Right now I am exhausted from pacing the streets of Hogsmeade only to stop every three hours for a meal or a drink. Hope all is well at home. I bet Ron and Ginny are thrilled they're the only two Weasleys left of this generation to still be in school. Time flies. _

_Back to the subject of Remus. I know my path now. I know now he and I are supposed to be together and I assure you I am completely sober in saying this. I know how to do it, but I need your help. He confessed the real reason he won't stay with me. He fears for my safety. I think he saw me fall relatively early at the Battle of the Department of Mysteries and he feels if something happens to me, it is his fault. _

_I am still very sad, but at least now I have a breath of hope to go on. What I need you to do is talk to him over the holidays. I will not be at the Burrow, but I need every chance with him I can get. Sadly, Mum wants me home this year (I can hear her nagging even in August) and I might even end up staying here to avoid her. But in case she decides to make a surprise appearance at your humble __home, I need to depend on you to work your magic on Remus. He listens to you like a second Mum, I know it. He won't listen to me._

_I don't understand. He says he loves me, yet he still cannot hear me! He likens me to James and Sirius in the manner that I trust him and know he is harmless, and yet he thinks if I become involved with him, I will suffer some horrific torturous end. I need another mouth echoing my voice, and maybe he will finally listen._

_I know you have a lot on your hands right now, and getting involved in what my mother would call a 'petty love affair' is one of the last things on your Christmas list, but I would be eternally in your debt if you would help me this once._

_Signed,_

_Tonks_

* * *

_Dear Tonks,_

_Of course I will help._

_Love,_

_Molly_


	23. The Ways of Men

Even Tonks didn't realize her hair had gone blonde until Madame Rosemerta pointed it out the following day.

"Well, if I could change my hair from brown to blonde in the wink of an eye like you, I wouldn't be running this two-bit excuse for a butterbeer keg," she'd muttered when Tonks stumbled into the saloon Tuesday morning, groggy from spending a sleepless and paranoid night at the window, praying another Howler from Mad-Eye wouldn't come. That first one was a doozy. Somehow, Mad-Eye had caught wind of how Tonks had spent her first night in Hogsmeade, and Tonks never wanted to hear half of those chosen words again. The second one from Mad-Eye was a continuation from the first one, this time focusing on the ten lethal, most painful actions he would do to her if he found out she'd been fooling around ever again.

"Uh….oh?" Tonks fingered her shoulder-length locks and realized it was true. She'd gone blonde on her own. It was strange. She'd been given special lessons on how to have total control over her powers in school. Her hair nearly never changed by itself. Was she losing control? But still, maybe it was a good sign her hair was lightening up. It was still a bland color found in nature, but it was better than brown nonetheless.

"Makes you look a bit more like a carefree young woman," Rosemerta remarked. "Not a tight-assed Auror."

So much for being honorable, thought Tonks.

The season of autumn was moderately quiet. No Death Eaters in the area she had to fight. No more news of deaths and battles. But still, the presence of danger was there, and Tonks knew that every Order member could feel it. Everyone expressed fear in their own ways. Arthur sent brainless owls to everyone about Muggle inventions or how amazing it was that Muggles could bake bread without magic. Molly baked. A lot. Tonks could've fed all of Hogsmeade with all the meat pies and fruitcakes Errol had brought her with the same note every time saying _"Had some extras. Waste not want not. Enjoy." _Mad-Eye would actually stop by and lecture Tonks whenever the fear pains struck him. Kingsley, who was always the best at hiding fear, would occasionally visit Tonks when duty at the Ministry was light.

Tonks refused to go back to the Shrieking Shack. She was tempted a few times to re-visit the Pensieve to see what other tidbits she could dig up, then emerge to find Remus waiting for her thanks to that handy charm over it. But she decided against it. She knew that for now, the best thing was to keep herself away from Remus until Christmas. _Absence makes the heart grow fonder,_ she always chanted whenever she got a craving.

On the first day of December, Molly sent an owl to Tonks inviting her to the Burrow for the holidays. She said Remus was sneaking away from the werewolf colony and the timing would be right for a 'reunion.' Tonks found herself declining that as well. Molly knew what to do. Tonks knew Remus looked to Molly as a second mother, even though she barely had ten years on him. Plus, after seven children, Molly had that certain power all mothers had, a power even Muggle mothers no doubt had: the power of persuasion. Tonks told Molly to send Remus to her via Floo powder for a talk when (not if) he came around. If plans somehow changed, she would come to her instead.

All this time, Tonks' hair remained dirty blonde. She tried many times to alter her appearances for amusement, but she found over the season her powers became less and less hers. It was strange. She needed to either see a Healer or discuss with Dumbledore about it. But she never got the chance to do either.

On Christmas morning, Tonks awoke to the smell of warm cinnamon buns flooding her nostrils. Sighing with pleasure, she rose to find Madame Rosemerta had left them with a small package on a tray in the kitchen. Smiling, Tonks savored every bite. She opened the little box to reveal a small jade dog that immediately sat up and barked merrily at her. Tonks smiled as the dog leapt out of the box and into her palm. It was Sirius. Rosemerta knew somehow that Tonks still thought of him every time she heard a dog bark.

Thus began a long day of stalking the fireplace. Tonks made a mug of hot cider and lit the fire as soon as she finished her breakfast. Outside, the sky was dark and grey. Snow fell over Hogsmeade gracefully, adding to the foot and a half already on the ground. She placed her little jade dog on the mantel and watched for nearly two hours as it paced impatiently along the edge. She tore the corner out of a leaf of paper in a notebook and crumpled it into a ball. The dog seemed satisfied at last.

But by noon, Tonks still wasn't. Her cider went cold without being sipped more than once per hour. The snowfall grew heavier. Tonks paced until two. Then she sat in a chair and leaned into the fire, watching the embers flicker. She sat alert until about five-thirty, when she finally nodded off.

She awoke a little while later by the sound of someone's head peeping in the fireplace. Tonks shot up and felt her heart stop, only to find Molly's head in the fireplace. Her shoulders sank, and she sighed with disappointed. Molly rolled her eyes.

"Now, Tonks, don't give me that look. I did all I could, he's as stubborn as ever!"

Tonks' heart fell into her stomach. "What did you say to him?"

"I said what I feel! That he's taking a ridiculous line in this matter and that he has a lovely young lady in Hogsmeade waiting for him to come to her through the fire and kiss her under the mistletoe!"

Tonks bit her lip. She'd just realized this was their one-year anniversary, to boot. One year ago she and Remus had finally kissed, and Remus had given her his Moony ring. "Where is he now? Get him over here!" she said with a little more force than she wanted to.

Molly shook her head. "He's talking with the children. Just finished dinner. I'll send leftovers, as I'm sure Rosemerta's turkey isn't nearly as good as mine!"

"Molly, please don't change the subject. What did HE say?" Tonks asked back in one breath. Molly sighed.

"He would have none of it. He dismissed every mention of you throughout the day with either a hand or a shake of the head or a quick word about you being with your own family."

Tonks gritted her teeth. Molly sighed again.

"I really wish I could do more, but I'm afraid I cannot for now. But don't lose hope, love—"

Tonks shot up, every bitter, angry emotion she'd suppressed since that night in the Pensieve and the subsequent meeting, had now come back with a vengeance. So much fury! The room began spinning as Tonks uttered one horrifying, loud, hopeless scream. She grabbed her coat and sped out of the room without even saying goodbye to Molly.

She flew down the stairs past Rosemerta. Who was serving two Professors who'd come down from the school for a pint. Rosemerta noted quietly to herself that Tonks' hair was brown again.

* * *

Tonks flew into the street like an angry wind. The snow and wind was at her back, making her hair fly out ahead of her as she rushed down the main road and out of Hogsmeade, making large footprints as she stepped in the snow banks. The whole environment was a blur beyond her hot tear-laden eyes. It didn't work. Even Molly couldn't bend Remus. Even with the utmost understanding she herself had…even after she spent the whole season AWAY from him to try and show him she sympathized with him! Did he know how HARD it was for Tonks this past season? How her hopes and fears would have battles in her body and mine, causing her pain and making every second seem like an hour?

Of course he did. That sadistic bastard. He was toying with her heart now, and Tonks wanted nothing more than to end it. He knew what he was doing. Tonks never kept her feelings a secret. Not for an instant. How Remus could bottle things up for years she'd never know.

The Shrieking Shack was just beyond the next hill. Tonks leapt over the fence and tripped as her ankle was caught on a nail. She tumbled painfully into the snow, and the freezing water hit her face, causing Tonks to gasp desperately for air. Once she sat up, she made an ice ball out of the snow, packed it hard, and slowly advanced on the shack, limping slightly to the left as she did.

Her anger and absolute rage boiled over and finally released its steam as she screamed and hurled the ice ball at the shack. It hit a fairly rotted piece of wood and broke the wall, leaving a small hole where Tonks' good pitch had struck it. Tonks grinned madly. Had she finally lost it? Yes, yes she had!

Her excitement at seeing Remus' home away from school damage, she quickly formed a snow ball and threw it. This time, it smacked against the edge of the roof and caused a large icicle to break free and smash into the ground. Tonks yelled again. The pressure was finally starting to be relieved from her body, and she felt lighter. But it wasn't enough. More, more, MORE!

As Tonks formed her second ice ball, easily twice the size of the other, the pressure suddenly took a dive further and more dangerously than she'd expected, and she fell into the snow, crying loudly. She put the ice ball down and sat in the snow bank at the base of the Shack and cried. How could her plan fail? How could Remus torture her like this?

She didn't hear the footsteps approach her gently from behind. Only when she felt a hand on her shoulder did she realize that someone had been watching her this whole time. And the feel of the gently, but firm hand on her shoulder told her exactly who it was.

"Dad?" Tonks asked, turning around. Ted Tonks, bundled tightly in a parka and scarf, was looking down at his frustrated and distressed daughter sadly. "Why are you here?"

"You never came home. Your mum was worried sick," he said. "Plus, Molly contacted me immediately and said you'd had a fit. I Apparated here immediately in case you needed someone other than that old bird Rosemerta…I came to bring you home if you really wanted."

Tonks shook her head. "No, but th…thanks."

"You'll die of cold if you stay out here," Ted said. "I'll get us a hot cocoa and we can talk. We haven't really talked in ages, have we?"

No, not really. The last time Tonks and her father had had a real heart-to-heart, she'd just been accepted into Auror training under Mad-Eye.

"It's about Remus, isn't it?" Ted said, looking up at the Shack. "Mum told me all about him, and I had the feeling if you were as upset as Molly said, you'd be here somehow."

Tonks nodded. She always did take after her father. He could always read her like a book and predict her every move. Ted helped her to her feet and supported her on the side she limped on. Tonks grabbed on tightly and affectionately and let him lead her back into Hogsmeade.

"Dora, let me tell you about the ways of men…"

* * *

Once settled in Madame Puddifoot's and served their cocoa, Ted and Tonks began their chat.

"Dad, what do you honestly think of Remus? Be truthful, and don't think there are wrong answers," Tonks said, initiating the conversation.

Ted thought a minute. "He thinks he's very mature, but I feel he still has a lot to learn."

"Oh?" Tonks leaned in slightly. "About what?"

"Everything. He's not all there emotionally—"

"—no surprise." Tonks added.

"Even under his extraordinary circumstances, what with his lycanthropy, he could do such great things if only he learned not to let it control his life. He…he doesn't realize he deserves some happiness too. As far and you're concerned, I don't think the relationship couldn't work in the end. You compliment him. You fill in his blanks."

"What do you mean, 'fill in his blanks'?" Tonks asked, taking a spoon to the mound of whipped cream on her mug.

"Well, you certainly gave him a spark of happiness this past year when you were with him. You're more comfortable around people, and when you two were together at meetings, Molly would always say that Remus seemed more sociable." Ted smiled at seeing Tonks beam. "Every true match begins with filling in blanks. Even your mother's and mine."

Tonks realized she never really knew how her parents had met. "How did you meet? At school, right?"

Ted nodded. "We were both prefects our fifth year, I from Hufflepuff and your Mum from Slytherin. We met in the prefect's compartment on the train out to school, and I…I sort of tripped over her and fell into the compartment."

Tonks laughed. She was a chip off the old block for sure.

Ted continued. "Anyway, Andromeda wasn't mad at all. You know, as a Black, she suffered a bit of taunting from the students as much as any Muggle born, because—"

"—of the Black reputation?" Tonks finished. Ted nodded.

"I came to her defense a few times when that happened. I really didn't know what was coming over me. I used to be so quiet. I would always spend Hogsmeade weekends sitting in the bookshop, pouring over some volume about Wizarding History, which, as a Muggleborn, fascinated me. I think 'Dromeda realized I was in love with her even before I did. We dated in secret from sixth year on. Then, of course….she became pregnant with you and we got married, and you know the rest."

Tonks went pink in the cheeks. She didn't want her father to know that she'd overheard her Mum talking some years ago about how she'd been conceived out of wedlock.

"And many couples may say that passion dies over the years, but I can tell you, every morning when I roll over and see your Mum lying there beside me, my heart skips and beat and I feel more in love with her than I did the night before," Ted mused. "That's how you know it's true."

Tonks thought a moment about this. Maybe because she refused to give up, no matter how many times she was told to move on, and maybe because Remus somehow always had a way of coming back to her was an indication? Tonks hoped so.

But then again, how the hell could he be so blind? If it was that obvious, how come Remus didn't just decide to go with the flow? She expressed this to her father.

Ted thought a moment before answering. "It also depends on the changes one is willing to make and what sacrifices they want to make for the other. Look at us, Dora. Your mum left her family behind to marry me and raise you. That was an astounding sacrifice."

"Well, don't you think I've made enough sacrifices for that man?!" Tonks suddenly raised her voice, the anger returning and the pressure rising once more. "I'm the one obsessing over him day and night and tearing my hair out over this matter!"

"Dora—"

"—and he just runs?! Is THAT what true love is about?? Some Gryffindor he was, I'll bet. Afraid of relationships, letting a stupid full moon control his life! Why doesn't he just marry the damn moon!? Or some werewolf woman from the colony!? That man is driving me mad, and I bet he is having fun doing so!" Tonks growled.

"It takes work!" Ted said quickly before his daughter could interrupt him again.

"You know what? Maybe this approach I've been taking isn't good enough! Maybe I should STALK that man everywhere until he caves! Or better yet, maybe I should let him bite me!"

"NO!" Ted hollered. He could let his temper flair up just as quickly as she could. "That's overreacting and dangerous!"

"Well why not? We could both live in the werewolf colony and have little puppies and we'd both finally be happy! Is THAT the way it has to be? Is THAT the sacrifice that has to be made?"

"Remus Lupin would not accept that. It would only make his guilt worse!" Ted insisted. "If Remus wants to come around, all he's got to do is follow his heart!"

Tonks seemed subdued for a moment. She stood up calmly. "Yeah? Well sometimes I truly wonder if he even has a heart."

"Dora!" Ted shot up after her. "What a terrible thing to say!"

"Sometimes I truly wonder if he lets his brain do his feeling for him!" Tonks mumbled. The tears came again and she knew she had to leave. It was dark outside as Christmas Day came to an end.

Ted dropped three galleons on the table to leave for a tip and followed Tonks into the street as she headed for the Three Broomsticks.

"Dad, give Mum my love," Tonks said. "Happy Christmas."

Ted realized Tonks needed to be alone. He nodded. "I will, and Happy Christmas. I'll have my owl send some of the leftovers from supper. She made a delicious ham."

"Well, I really don't give a damn," Tonks said softly, walking away from her father. All of this emotional turmoil wore her out. She went right upstairs and changed into her flannel pajama pants and t-shirt she wore to bed. The little jade dog Rosemerta had given her was curled up and sleeping contentedly on the mantel. Tonks climbed into the small bed, the fire still burning brightly enough to dimly light the room. She turned to look at the photo of Remus on the bedside table and mumbled something to it.

"Happy anniversary, you bastard," she whispered before turning away from the photo and letting the darkness consume her.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Wow! What an intense chapter! The emotion is pretty cool. LOL. As your prize for reviewing this time…you get the REAL copy of Deathly Hallows. In this version, Tonks and Remus live, Sirius and James are resurrected, and everyone lives happily ever after! _


	24. The Winding Stairwell

The only thing that helped keep Tonks' wit about her was her duty to the Order. Although one wouldn't have known it from Hogsmeade, Tonks could feel the air thicken with impending danger, and for once, not even Remus Lupin would stand in her way of doing what was expected of her: blasting Death Eaters. New Years, then Valentine's Day passed without much in the way of action, however, so thinking about Remus was nearly completely unavoidable at times. When this happened, Tonks tried to shake it off by thinking how Remus would never cave. Tonks, always as stubborn as he was, had once vowed to never cave herself. Well, one of them had to cave eventually. Was it her turn to bow out gracefully and turn her thoughts to more important matters? After all, more important matters weren't hard to find in wartime. The struggle Tonks subsequently fought within herself was almost as much torture for her mind as Bellatrix' Cruciatus fetish was to her body. She knew deep in her heart that caving wouldn't solve the matter. It would just show Remus how weak she was (and she wasn't) and it would only make Tonks less useful to the Order.

A twist in the monotonous events occurred in early March, when Tonks was requested by Dumbledore (for reasons unknown) to begin patrolling the corridors in Hogwarts itself. Dumbledore had stated that this was due to the possibility of his being absent in the near future. Tonks didn't quite understand by Dumbledore was being so damn ambiguous with her. She was, after all, in the Order, and from her espionage work last year, knew tidbits of information that could've made ex-Minister Fudge's hair stand on end. But ultimately deciding not to question, she did as she was told, and patrolled the halls of Hogwarts when asked along with one or two other Order members (never Remus, he was still at the werewolf colony most of the time).

As of May 15, 1997, Tonks had spent nine solid months at Hogsmeade. From Molly's letters (which were becoming less and less frequent as the spring months progressed), Remus would sneak out of Liverpool occasionally and visit the Burrow and have chats with Bill Weasley. Apparantly, they were becoming rather close. Tonks rolled her eyes at this news. Maybe if she were a man, she'd have his affections easier? That notion made her snicker and shake her head. That would certainly be a feat for her metamorphing powers.

Plus, even if that was possible, Tonks' powers continued to remain out of her control and hard to manage. Her hair remained brown all through spring, no matter what she would do on her days off to make herself feel better. Her eyes were black as coals (a color she wasn't fond of either). She couldn't get a grasp on either aspect of her color-change ability. It upset her even more, which made things even worse.

May passed into June, And Tonks noted that she was asked to Hogwarts more often. These bits of duty were still rather uneventful, and Tonks was actually a slight bit relieved by the lack of action going on. Considering she barely lasted fifteen minutes in the Department of Mysteries, Tonks had come to assume her battling skills weren't as top-notch as she'd thought, and perhaps during her dueling final on her Auror exams, Mad Eye (who played her opponent) had gone easy on her. The dueling final was only failed under two circumstances: A- if you were defeated by your opponent, or B-if you and your opponent were stalemated by the 10-minute limit. She'd actually beaten Mad-Eye with a Body-Bind in less than five minutes. Considering Mad-Eye was top-class, that suddenly did sound a little fishy to her.

Just before twilight on the evening of June 9th, as Tonks was heading to Hogwarts to see who she was patrolling with that night, Tonks was thinking about this for the fifth time that week. It was the middle of a war, she'd have to see a battle again eventually. Was she actually chickening out? Perhaps, because Tonks has barely made it through her first battle despite being amply ready. Not all battles came with a warning. Sometimes, a Dark Mark could appear over an area with no warning time, and then Tonks would have no choice but to submerge herself in the lethality of it all. It was nerve wracking. Not to mention, Tonks had an odd feeling. Maybe it was just paranoia on her part, but Tonks' senses were off this afternoon. The air was thick with potential danger, worse than she'd ever felt. The greater Hogwarts area seemed off balance.

Then again, Tonks was not a Seer (she never even bothered with Divination and failed it her fourth year) so it had to be nothing but paranoia on her part.

Getting into the school and rounding the corner that led to the entrance to Dumbledore's office (where Tonks would always meet her patrolling partner), Tonks felt her heart skip a beat to see Bill Weasley, Remus' new chum, standing there, waiting for her. But after all, this was only Bill Weasley, so Tonks let her shoulders drop as she approached him.

"Tonks!" Bill said politely enough. Tonks curtly nodded. Bill seemed a little perplexed to not be greeted by Tonks' signature, "Wotcher, Bill!"

"We're a trio tonight, just waiting for Remus. He left the camp earlier today and has been careful making his way here—"

"—he's not patrolling with us, is he?" Tonks groaned. So, her luck HAD run out after all.

Bill smiled at Tonks and put a hand on her shoulder. "He told me about you, and I personally don't blame you."

Tonks looked up into Bill's cool gaze, and she had a quick flashback to the days that gaze made her weak in the knees. Of course, that wasn't the way it was like now.

"He's being a big baby," Tonks moped. "Haven't seen him all spring after he ditched me at Christmas!"

"Once he gets here, I'll walk in between the two of you—hey, I'm quite flattered by the tribute to me, by the way!" Bill suddenly smiled. Tonks looked at him with confusion. Bill gestured to his hair, and Tonks grabbed a lock of hers. Red as a Weasley's. How embarrassing.

"My powers have been becoming less and less my own lately," Tonks sighed woefully. "And I'm pissed as hell, so why not red?"

Bill nodded. "Well, he's about ten meters behind you, heading this way…"

Tonks whipped her head around involuntarily to see Remus, looking skinnier and another five years older than he was, approaching the pair. His pale cheeks reddened slightly seeing who his female partner was tonight. No one spoke for a solid minute.

"Let's get going," Bill said in order to break the silence. "Are we going to be a trio, or split up into teams of one and two?"

"Tonks and I will take the west wing and the Astronomy Tower. Bill, you go downstairs and work your way up from the Potions dungeon," Remus ordered. Tonks pouted and looked to Bill for help, begging him with her mind to reject hat idea. But Bill smiled strangely and nodded in agreement.

"If there's any trouble—though I doubt there will be—send a Patronus up my way," Bill said,. Giving a mock salute and heading off towards the dungeons.

Tonks scowled at Remus as he turned to look at her. "Don't look at me that way," he said sternly, as if scolding a child.

"I will look at you as I please," Tonks said. "Why are you insist WE patrol together?" Tonks moaned.

The pair started walking down the long corridor towards one of the windows that overlooked the Astronomy Tower. It was a spot Tonks used to love to hang out with her friends at.

"Because Bill can manage on his own, and we haven't seen each other in a long while, after all," Remus said. Tonks grunted.

"We could've remedied that at Christmas, you git," Tonks said. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Maybe we should separate, then, if that's going to be your attitude," Remus said.

"It's been just about a year since we broke up, and we've never been friends since, and yet I still want you," Tonks said. "It's made this past year a hell. It's all your fault you know."

"My fault?" Remus asked. "And, do enlighten me, how is it my fault that you insistently refuse to give up on me?"

"Because somehow you keep pulling me back to you," Tonks replied. Remus bit his lower lip. "Remus, I know about you. All of your failed relationships in the past have all had the same excuse: you're afraid they'll end up adding to your bad past's body count!"

"We established that ten months ago, Dora," Remus said, nodded.

"And yet, haven't I proved to be different from every one of those other people? Even James and Sirius?"

"Err…"

"Sirius and James decided to stick by you, and guess what, they're both dead," Tonks said, a hint of madness in her voice. "But neither of those deaths had to do with you. They both died young, and that was all. Yet you insist on shutting everyone out like me! Remus, are you THAT thick? And be honest with me when I ask this: have you ever considered that if you were to allow yourself a little happiness, then maybe these shadows of your past won't haunt you anymore?"

"You still haven't put two and two together, have you?" Remus asked. "You are worlds different than anyone I've ever known. It would make losing you that much worse. And our past adds to the potential that I very well could end up killing you one night accidentally."

Tonks sighed. Here it was, the 'too old, too poor, too dangerous' excuse. He was beginning to backtrack, meaning he had no new moves. No new cards to play. And Tonks still had half a deck to deal if she needed to…or did she really?

"But you're very good at taking the Wolfsbane Potion!" Tonks said.

"I forget sometimes," was Remus' reply.

"Remus, I really have no more to say," Tonks said. "I…I'm tired. In conclusion: despite everything about you, I still love you. And if that says nothing to you, then I guess I will just have to dedicate myself to the same unhappiness and withdrawn demeanors you find comfort with."

Remus looked saddened. Tonks knew that wasn't what he wanted for her.

Remus looked at his feet. "Ouch," was all he said.

"Remus, this cycle of love, hate, and avoidance will continue forever unless you finally come to your senses and realize I don't CARE about your past," Tonks said. "Why even bother dwelling in it anyway? The past is dead, as much as people say it does, it cannot come back to haunt you unless you let it. Looking to the future is healthier and worth your time."

"But the future never comes does it? So why bother looking for something that never gets here?" Remus replied, sounding almost like a smart-aleck.

Tonks felt a sudden wave of rage run through her. "Remus, you…you awful—"

_"MORSMORDRE!" _

A loud explosion sent Tonks and Remus hurdling to the floor for cover. Tonks didn't notice Remus had fallen on top of her and was sheltering her with his body. A few of the school's students began to panic. The voice of the incantation was unrecognizable.

Remus got off Tonks and both of them ran towards the window overlooking the Astronomy Tower. Sure enough, the Dark Mark, emerald green, promising death and chaos, hovered over the tower. Tonks felt a cold shudder run down her back. Suddenly, Ginny and Ron Weasley, and Neville Longbottom, were runnignt owards them announcing that Draco Malfoy had let eight Death Eaters into the castle and they were headed for the Mark.

"Damn," Remus muttered. "They….they're here."

"I'll contact Bill!" Tonks said quickly. "You alert the rest of the Order!"

Remus began waving his wand and muttering his Patronus incantation. By the time his wolf floated off, he turned around to see Tonks was just sending her Patronus off. He took one look at the shape of her Patronus, and suddenly, his whole view changed.

"Come on!" Tonks shouted, taking Remus by the wrist. "We need to fight them off!" She began dragging him down the hall roughly.

So, it was true, then, what he'd heard. Tonks' Patronus was a wolf. This finally put it all into perspective for him.

* * *

Eight Death Eaters met Tonks, Remus, and Bill at the Astronomy Tower, along with six members of the old Dumbledore's Army, and Professor Minerva McGonagall. They were thusly outnumbered, but it was a battle nonetheless. Tonks took a deep breath as she and Remus bolted to the Astronomy Tower, side by side. Tonks could see from the hair flying in front of her that it had shifted back to brown. Damnit!

Suddenly, like last time, all her Remus-drama seemed to melt away when Tonks reached the base of the Tower and made her way onto one of the stone stairwells. She could see three Death Eaters advancing on the two of them, but Bill quickly leapt on one of them and began a duel. How brave of him, thought Tonks.

None of the Death Eaters seemed to be particularly interested in her, and Bellatrix didn't even appear to be among this bunch. So Tonks ran up the stairs further to see if there were more of them at the top of the Tower. She could hear a man screaming behind her.

"Dora! Don't go up there!" It was Remus, yelling almost frantically after her. He didn't want her being attacked by surprise, obviously. It sent a chill through her heart realizing he was still thinking of her at a time like this.

Tonks had a million things rush through her head at the same time as she made her way up the stairwell. Would she lose miserably this time just as badly as she was last time? Would she fall and see Sirius again? Or would she die quickly and painlessly? Tonks felt the cowardice rush through her. No, maybe it wasn't cowardice. If she were a coward, she'd have turn on her heels and ran minutes ago. But it would be a cold day in hell when Tonks abandoned the Order in their time of need. So maybe she was just really skeptical? Was that the right word?

Remus' cries from below pleading for her to come back to the base of the Tower were halted, and a blast followed. Someone had gotten Remus, she just knew it. But as Tonks kept heading upward, the sounds got too muffled to hear any longer. She heard footsteps rapidly ascending the stairs behind her. Tonks quickly whipped herself around, wand at the ready. This was it. It was do or die (or maybe it would end up do AND die)!

But instead of a Death Eater coming up behind her, it turned out to be Xenophilius Lovegood's daughter, Luna (Tonks could tell, the resemblance was uncanny). She had clearly already seen a duel (she was out of breath and her wand was slightly scorched) but she was completely unscathed. She recognized her from the Battle of the Department of Mysteries, where she'd come off much worse for the wear.

"Is Remus alright down there?" Tonks asked, stopping in her tracks.

Luna nodded. "He's with a huge blonde Death Eater and dueling him…"

Thorfinn Rowle, Tonks identified in her head. Notorious for his powerful curses and his really bad aim. Remus would be alright.

"We're needed down below," Luna said. "Most of them are down there."

Tonks nodded and decided to follow Luna down the long, winding stairwell back to the main battle ground. They had just passed a window when they heard a loud, masculine scream. Stopping in the window and ducking every few minutes so as not to be seen, they peered out. Tonks caught sight of Remus rather quickly. He and Rowle were artfully dueling at the base of the stairwell. A smaller Death Eater was off to the right, challenging Hermione Granger. Tonks held her breath tight as a green spark was emitted from Rowle's wand. But, sure enough, the curse missed and instead struck the other Death Eater nearby. Rowle hesitated long enough for Remus to stun him and bolt. Tonks breathed out, relieved the Death Curse had missed him (but barely).

"There!" Luna shouted, pointing in the direction of Bill Weasley. Fenrir Greyback was standing over him (in human form). Bill was bleeding and unconscious. Tonks shrieked.

"We have to get down there!" she said quickly, and she and Luna ran back into the stairwell and continued to descend.

Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, a large, white curse flew up at the pair of girls. Both ducked, and the curse missed. A woman's hoarse voice (though, to Tonks' relief, not Bellatrix') was grunting from further down the well. Luna got to her feet first. A man voice followed the woman's voice. There were two of them, one of each.

Luna looked at Tonks and smiled. "Are you ready?" she asked.

Tonks marveled at how calm and airy her voice sounded, even at a dangerous and possibly lethal time like this. Tonks had barely made it through last year's major battle, and Luna was fairly injured as well. Yet she did not sound afraid at all. Did she know she was going to make it through somehow?

Tonks got out her wand and waited with Luna. The two Death Eaters the pair had managed to attract were the Carrow siblings, Alecto and Amycus. Alecto grinned. Tonks shuddered.

Well, ready or not, it was battle time again. Tonks bit her lip and got Remus' face in her head, smiling as if from last year, before the war began.

She wanted her last thoughts to be of Remus if this time around was a repeat of last time.

* * *

_**A/N: **__There you have it! I tried to stay as close to HBP as possible while writing Part I of the battle scene, but HBP is my least favorite of the books, so I've only read it once or twice and can't really remember intimate details, nor do I really care for intimate details, for where who was where fighting who doesn't really matter in this story anyway. I liked the image of Luna, ever the optimist, and Tonks, who thinks she's a goner, dueling side by side on the steps of the Astronomy Tower. Your prize for reviewing this chapter, you get to spend a whole day as the Fifth Marauder! Choose whatever Animagus form/nickname you please, and have fun! _


	25. A Beautiful Prospect

Staring down Amycus Carrow was possibly the most frightening moment Tonks had endured in her life until that moment. After her duel (if it could be called such) with her aunt Bellatrix that time last year and the day she confessed her outright love for Remus, it was in the top three for sure.

But some impulse inside her told her that this staring contest wouldn't be a very good thing to keep up much longer. She found herself shouting _"Reducto!"_ and sparks flew out of her wand. Hitting the squat, stupid man on the left leg, Amycus was flipped upside down by the powerful impact on a balance point, and he was hurdled down the stairs.

Tonks blinked. That was almost too easy.

She then took to help Luna, who was underaged and underskilled (most likely) in dueling a full-grown Death Eater, with taking care of Alecto. Luna, however, seemed to be handling herself quite well. She'd made a shield around herself that was holding out nicely, and Alecto's curses couldn't break through. Tonks took this as an opportunity to shoot a stunner, which missed by a hair. Alecto stopped shooting and looked at Tonks. Apparently, she didn't even realize her brother had already been incapacitated.

Alecto waved her wand to shoot something, and Tonks immediately shouted, "_Protego!"_ Luna's shield was gone, as Alecto had turned her attention. Now Tonks was hiding behind the shield. Luna muttered something and managed to hit Alecto with a Leg Lock. Before she could undo the hex, Tonks let go of her shield and shot another stunner. She missed again, but owe Alecto was as good as finished.

Working their way down the stairwell of the Astronomy Tower, Luna and Tonks alternated shooting curses at poor Alecto, who tried desperately to save herself with a shield that would only hold briefly. They made it down several flights, nearly to the bottom, when they were met once again by Amycus, conscious and stable once more, a wand in hand.

_Oh Merlin,_ thought Tonks. _Now he's mad and going to try and peck the underaged witch off first…_

Tonks, without thinking for more than another second, shoved Luna out the nearest window, which was at ground level so she would not be hurt. Tonks caught a white spell out of the corner of her eye whizzing right past where Luna had stood moments ago.

Now it was two on one, advantage: Carrow siblings.

During Auror training, Tonks had been briefly instructed by Mad Eye on how to survive two-on-one duels. If it was impossible to pluck off the weaker one first, it would be safer to find non-magic ways of confusing the opponents rather than try to shoot curses off one right after the other. Mad Eye once bored Tonks to sleep with an extensive tale on how he was in the middle of a three-on-one, and his attackers were so busy trying to break past his shield, they didn't realize they'd been on the edge of a cliff. Two fell to their deaths, and it was again an even match.

But there were no cliffs around.

Suddenly, Tonks saw what she could do…but she'd have to be incredibly fast. Just above the Carrows, on top of the Astronomy Tower, was a large telescope, just sitting there. It had to be made of metal and weight at least a ton. One good, clear shot of a Reductor Curse would free it from its place and send it hurdling right on top of one of the two Carrows. Tonks knew it was her only hope. She couldn't hide behind a shield forever.

Letting go, Tonks raised her wand.

_"REDUCTO!"_ she yelled. Her arm was forced down by the power of the spell. The spell hit the telescope and sent it into the air for a moment. Tonks dove out of the way as the telescope fell back to earth. Both Carrows managed to get out of the way in time.

Damn.

But, Tonks thought even quicker than a simple 'damn.' While Alecto was still wondering what the hell had just happened, Tonks stunned her right into unconsciousness. Before Amycus came back to his senses, she did the same to him.

Finally, Tonks had won a round.

Looking around her, she saw that most of the Death Eaters were suddenly absent. Had they retreated? Neville Longbottom was helping Luna to her feet out of the bushes. Tonks shrugged apologetically at Luna. Luna smiled her odd smile and nodded, understanding what Tonks had done was completely of good intention. Tonks turned her head. Ginny and Ron were surveying the damage. Harry was nowhere to be seen.

The battle was finally over, from the looks of it. And Tonks was unharmed.

Remus was leaning over Bill Weasley, still unconscious. Tonks ran to his side and watched at Remus examined him.

"It was Fenrir?" she asked.

Remus nodded, but didn't look up. "He's going to survive, and I don't think he will be a—" Remus cut off as he looked up at Tonks. "—send a Patronus to the Burrow if you can't get to the Owlery. Get his family and fiancée over here," he ordered. Tonks nodded without another word and sent a lupine Patronus off with the message _"Come to Hogwarts. Major Battle, Order victorious. Bill's been hurt."_

"Remus, have you seen Harry or Dum—"

This time, Tonks was cut off by a loud wail. Someone was running up the hill, sobbing. Remus looked particularly concerned.

"Dumbledore's dead! Snape killed him and ran off with the rest of them! He killed Dumbledore!"

* * *

The Hogwarts Hospital wing was never a place Tonks wanted to be for very long. Madame Pomfrey examined her and pronounced her fit, as well as all six of the brave children who fought as Dumbledore's Army. Remus was unscathed. Bill appeared to be the only one with any real injury. Molly and Arthur has bolted straight to Hogwarts with the news, and Fleur Delacour, Bill's lovely fiancée, arrived only a few seconds later. She seemed incredibly concerned.

Tonks didn't know, quite honestly what to think at that moment. Bill had been struck down by Fenrir Greyback, Dumbledore had been killed by that rat bastard Snape (Sirius had been right in not trusting him all along), and at the same time, something in Tonks' heart realized she was witnessing a beautiful event as Fleur doted on Bill as he slowly came too. Bill was at least a partial werewolf. Fleur, lovely and young, was still clearly in love with him. Tonks looked around the room for Remus, and there he was, standing right next to her. It was a sign, it had to be.

"YOU SEE! SHE DOESN'T CARE!" Tonks suddenly said in a raised tone, grabbing Remus' shirt collar. It was almost like a natural reflex that had prompted her to do so.

Of course, Remus pulled all his 'too old, too poor' crap with everyone in the room, who began backing him against the proverbial wall. But the way he argued, Tonks sensed that he was half-converted already, and his words were half-assed, not very passionate at all, and didn't sound like they carried much truth, like before. It was odd. Remus, of course, quickly changed the subject back to Dumbledore to avoid even more of a scene.

The rest of the night was sleepless. People cried over Dumbledore (Tonks certainly did a little bit, Dumbledore was a good man), people babied Bill Weasley back to health, people admired Harry, Ron, Ginny, Hermione, Neville, and Luna and how they'd managed not to get so much more than a few scratches here and there. Remus was bombarded with questions by The Weasleys and Fleur, so Tonks, for once, decided that Remus wasn't worth her time, and stole away to her little suite above the Three Broomsticks to sit down and write an owl to her parents explaining everything that had happened before the news got to them via _The Daily Prophet_…

_Mum and Dad,_

_Before you hear from some half-witted source, there was a battle tonight at Hogwarts. I'm fine, Remus is fine. Bill was hurt, but okay now. All of us survived but, as I'm sure you've heard by now, Dumbledore. The mood is definitely more somber than usual here. Funeral should be within a few days. _

_We're expecting Mad Eye up in the morning, and he'll be glad to know I won a two-on-one duel with those nasty Carrow siblings. I dueled for a while alongside Lovegood's daughter, Luna, and we—_

Tonks was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Who the bloody hell could that be?" she asked herself, going to open the door. She was a little more than surprised to see Remus standing there. He had bags under his eyes, and the shadows of the dim room made them pop out.

"May I come in?" he asked simply. Tonks nodded and open the door wider. Remus stepped inside and looked around the room. "It's a small place. You've lived here since August?"

"Yeah," Tonks said. "But I can't stand it here any longer. I'm moving out the day after the funeral," she decided. Truthfully, she'd not thought about moving before that moment, but the prospect of a change in environment seemed like a good one.

"You're getting your old flat back in London, then?" Remus asked casually.

"No. I'm probably going to be moving back in with my parents," she said. "Grimmauld Place isn't Headquarters anymore, and there's nowhere else for me to go."

"True," Remus muttered. "What a day. I missed death by no more than a few centimeters."

"I saw," Tonks confirmed. "Did you see me take on both Carrows at once?"

"I did, and that was impressive." Remus nodded. "I…I just spoke with Kingsley via Floo Powder. That's part of why I stopped by. His observations at the Ministry are alarming. The whole place is as unstable as it has ever been, and he thinks it could fall anytime now that Dumbledore's out of the picture."

Tonks swallowed a lump in her throat before breathing again. "I'll lose my job."

"Worse than that," Remus said. "There are names floating around, says Kingsley, of people who might be suspiciously conducting espionage or might have hidden agendas, and you've supposedly been mentioned a few times, and almost always in the same sentence as Bellatrix Lestrange. If Kingsley's right about his instincts, you could find yourself in Azkaban for life, or worse if you show your face in the Ministry anymore."

"So, I guess I can take that vacation now?" Tonks joked. Remus forced a chuckle. Tonks felt like slapping herself.

"Moving back in with your parents might be a good idea," Remus suggested. "A few of us Order people who are left might have to go on the run, especially Muggle-borns, if the Ministry falls."

Tonks immediately thought of her father.

"What about you?" Tonks asked. "If you go on the run, you won't have anything to contribute to the Order anymore," she said, worry in her voice.

"That isn't necessarily true," Remus interjected. Tonks sighed. "But I've gotten by before, and I can certainly do it again."

"So, why else did you come here?" Tonks asked.

"Hm?" Remus asked back, somewhat confused.

"You said Kingsley's prediction was only part of the reason you came here to see me," Tonks said, licking the corner of her lip.

"You never told me your Patronus changed to match mine," Remus said.

Tonks nodded. "It's been like that since I gave you the Moony ring back," she informed rather neutrally.

Remus nodded. "Look, I was the first boy in my Hogwarts class to create a full-bodied Patronus, and I know everything there is to know about them. Patronus form can only change if there has been an emotional trauma or a change of heart severe enough to affect your personality, and yours changed for me. That says a lot to me, Dora."

"You helped me grow up a lot, certainly," Tonks added. "It caught me off guard the first time I saw that thing prancing at my feet."

Remus smiled. "Dora, I never stopped loving you. You do know that, right?"

Tonks nodded. "I had no doubt about that all along. What I did doubt was your ability to come around and accept that. And after this year of hell and high water, I still stand by what I said last year," she said.

"What?"

"That I want to marry you—"

Remus groaned. "Dora, please—"

"—you're already like family to me! Remus, hasn't all of this taught you ANYTHING? It's unavoidable. You SAW Bill and Fleur, you HEARD what Molly, McGonagall, and everyone else thinks! You're cornered, so unless you off yourself, there's really nothing you can do but come to terms with all of this. Trust me, it's better being open and free like this."

Remus looked at his feet and took one of his hands out of his pocket. He opened his fist to reveal the Moony ring in it. Tonks was touched.

"It's been with you all this time?" she asked. He shook his head.

"About what happened at Christmas, I saw this sitting on my coffee table, and I felt like my chest was void of everything. It wasn't a pleasurable feeling. I reflected a long time, and that was why I didn't see you at Christmas after Molly egged me to come through the fireplace. I realized that I was _happier_ with you, but I still wasn't HAPPY."

"But happier is progress, right?" Tonks asked. Remus nodded.

"I don't think I'll ever find true happiness in my lifetime, Dora. But you bring me that one step closer, and I finally see that maybe one step closer is better than one step further away. Plus, it would make you happy, so there's an added bonus—"

Tonks beamed. "I would be the happiest witch in England!"

Remus chuckled half-heartedly. Tonks noticed he wasn't making his proposal with the lovesick demeanor he would have even a year ago. He faced the wall as if trying to pause the room for a moment of silent thought.

"Remus, you don't sound very thrilled," she noted, touching his shoulder. Remus turned to face her.

"It won't be easy, especially now."

"I know."

"And we can't risk having a big wedding ceremony."

"I know."

"And children aren't even in my hopes for any future, near or distant."

"I know."

"And if I do have to run, we'll be separated for long periods of time."

"I don't care."

Remus smiled. Tonks looked into his thoughtful eyes. She'd always pictured if this moment were to happen, her heart would racing, she'd be jumping around and squealing excitedly. But she was serene, calm, and only showing her happiness in her face. Boy, she really did mature a lot over the past two years.

"But, for once in my life, I feel that I've been avoiding this for too long, and it's a risk that could work out in the end." Remus took Tonks' left hand in his bigger hand, and placed the moon ring on her ring finger.

"So, Dora, with all of this said and understood…will you take me as your husband?"

Tonks sighed pleasurably and nodded. "What do you think?"

Remus' slight smile grew into a wider, more content smile as he took Tonks in his embrace and kissed her forehead tenderly. She let him rock her gently back and forth, and felt firworks as he leaned down to kiss the spot on her neck her robe exposed. She realized that she was in the arms of not her crush, nor her boyfriend, but her fiance. That realization made the fireworks more intense.

Tonks knew what was coming next, and after almost a year of not having any sex, she was already wanting more.

* * *

The next morning came all too soon. Tonks was the first to wake (as usual) and rolled onto her side, facing the window. The day was grey and cloudy. She could hear Remus moan in his sleep beside her. She looked over her shoulder at his sleeping form. His naked chest was exposed, and half of his leg peaked out over the end of the bed. Tonks smiled. Soon, waking up in bed next to him would be a daily occurrence. What a beautiful prospect.

Of course, Remus was right. This would be a challenge within itself, making and maintaining a marriage in the middle of a war that was expected to heat up very soon. As for children and the fact that Remus did not ever want any, Tonks could live with that. Truth be told, she couldn't picture herself settling down to raise a few babies, especially so young. She knew her Mum would be bugging her about grandchildren, but for once, Andromeda would just have to learn to deal with it. No children was something that both she and Remus agreed on.

As for all the rest of the trials and compromises, well, that would have to come with tomorrow. For now, Tonks just wanted to lie there in bed and pretend that she was already Remus Lupin's wife.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Another one down! I can't express how thrilled I am that the HBP chapters are just about over! Of course, the DH chapters will bring a lot more mood and drama, along with action, back into the story, and I can promise you'll be seeing a lot more of Andromeda and Ted, and the Weasleys! Your prize for reviewing this chapter: stuff. Lots and lots of stuff. Whatever the hell you want is yours!_


	26. Writing the Vows

Being engaged felt no different to Tonks than being in a 'sexually beneficial partnership' with him, as Andromeda had spitefully called it a year ago. She and Remus did call on each other a little more frequently between the night of the Battle of the Astronomy Tower and Dumbledore's funeral. Ted and Andromeda decided not to attend said funeral, partially out of safety for Ted. Remus had made it his business to keep his future Muggle-born father-in-law informed and therefore, safe. Kingsley's 'advice' didn't get any more optimistic than a Countdown to the Takeover.

Out of respect for Dumbledore, Tonks and Remus both agreed not to discuss a wedding, or even be all lovey-dovey until after the tomb was sealed. However, Tonks couldn't help but grab Remus' hand at the funeral and squeeze it a few times for comfort. She and Dumbledore had never been particularly close during her school days (although once he did get her off of detention duty with Snape her sixth year and sent her on her marry way with a handful of lemon drops). However, once she was inducted into the Order two years ago (had it really been that long?) she noticed how hard he worked to help her fit in with all the well-aged First War Veterans (and Snape, of course). He'd been the one who'd given her that first bit of duty she'd craved, and she was forever thankful for that.

She was surprised, however, that Remus wasn't crying his eyes out. It was Dumbledore, after all, who'd allowed him to come to school and gone out of his way to make safe arrangements for the full moon for the lad. It was Dumbledore who'd hired him to teach for a year despite the law strongly suggesting that werewolves were completely untrustworthy and unemployable. Dumbledore had done so much more for Remus. And she knew he really looked up to and respected the man.

Once the funeral dispersed, Tonks had a quick bit of duty, escorting Luna Lovegood back home to her rook-shaped house on Ottery St. Catchpole. Luna, who'd come with the Weasleys, had stayed a little longer than most people and just stared at the White Tomb for what must have been an hour. Strange girl, thought Tonks. Once Luna snapped out of her 'trance' and Tonks saw her safely back with her father, Tonks headed back to her parents' house, which she called 'home' once again.

Her parents knew about the engagement, of course. Ted accepted it with a smile and a raise of his butterbeer bottle. Andromeda, however, wasn't so easy to sway. Not because of the whole werewolf thing, but because Tonks was still so young, and the war was not a proper time to start a life together. Tonks knew well by now how to drown out her mother's chatter, and she did so.

She stumbled in to find Andromeda waving her wand, guiding a mop around the kitchen. Ted was reading a book on the sofa. They both looked up as Tonks stumbled in. Ted smiled. Tonks didn't quite get why. It was a somber day in the Wizarding World.

Andromeda snorted. "Nice to see you enjoyed the funeral," she remarked. Tonks shot an odd look at her mother. Andromeda pointed to her hair in a gesture for Tonks to look at her own.

Tonks grabbed a lock, and saw it was pink. Her pink. The pink she hadn't worn in a year. She dashed to the nearest mirror and quickly crossed her eyes. Her hair went from pink to electric blue, then to a lemon yellow, then back to pink.

"I'm back!" Tonks whispered contentedly to herself.

As the next few days passed, Patronuses were floating about everywhere amongst the Order, concerning both the future of the war and the next move Harry Potter planned to make. Patronuses were a better choice of communication than owls, even though they originally were only meant for emergencies. Owls could be shot down or intercepted easily, and the Ministry was getting wiser to 'suspicious' sounding letters. Plus, both Tonks and Arthur Weasley were getting confused by the 'code' and so the Order resorted to other means. Patronuses were completely private. They could not be stopped and heard expect by the intended receiver.

Remus, much to Tonks' pleasant surprise, spent more time at her house in the following weeks. He told her in private he wanted to make the wedding plans around her parents because he wanted their blessing on the arrangement. Andromeda still didn't seem too keen on the whole thing. Tonks managed to get her to agree to the marriage by stating that two years ago, before she immersed herself in the world of the Order, Andromeda was insistent that Tonks should marry sooner rather than later. Shanghaied, Andromeda finally cracked and decided for once to go with the flow.

As Remus got closer to Andromeda and Ted (Ted especially warmed up to his future son-in-law), he and Tonks moved to make their wedding plans. As agreed, it would not be as grand an affair as the Weasley/Delacour nuptials in August, but it would be at the Burrow. On July 10th at midday, it was decided. Tonks would spend the night before with her parents at the Burrow with the Weasley clan, and Remus would arrive with the wedding party in the morning (which was just going to be the core Order members, Mad Eye, Kingsley, Hestia, and Dedalus). Mad Eye agreed to marry them, which thrilled Tonks to no end. She almost expected Mad Eye to try and convince Ted to let him walk her down the aisle. Molly, of course, insisted on making all the food, and Ginny reluctantly agreed to help (she wasn't too fond of kitchen work). Even Hermione Granger planned to attend (Harry Potter, of course, couldn't).

So it was going to be a small, quiet ceremony with just close friends in attendance (to Tonks' relief, when Ted told Aunt Katherine, she 'politely declined' the offer to attend with her mad husband and ditzy daughters). Despite this, the planning seemed to wear Tonks right out. She noticed after about two weeks that she began to ache in her lower abdomen and breasts. But that could've also been because after Remus shut the door to her room at night after her parents were sound asleep, they'd have a good roll on the bed or two. Tonks wasn't used to being so active during both day and night, but it always ended up being worth it.

June 28th was the last time Remus and Tonks saw each other before the wedding was scheduled to take place. They were discussing the only thing left to discuss about the ceremony: the ceremony itself.

"Well, Dad mentioned how Muggles make their vows, they use religion as a basis for their wedding rituals," Tonks had said. "I, personally, don't see the point of bringing faith into it, but if you'd have it that way—"

"—no, no," Remus shook his head. "I never quite understood that either. I think a wedding ritual should be based on life, not afterlife."

Tonks nodded. "But, there's really no set way to have the vows said, is there?" Remus shook his heads. In the Wizarding world, the only real common thing about wedding ceremonies was the variation of the Unbreakable Vow that was used to formally bind the bride and groom, executed by the one chosen to bind them. That was why Tonks was so happy Mad Eye volunteered, she saw no one better fit to be the Binder (except maybe Sirius, if he were still living).

"Most brides and grooms write the vows for themselves," Remus said. "I think we should do the same."

"Remus, I can't write for shit, you and I both know that," Tonks groaned. "Lucky for comprehensive exams in school, because essay writing nearly murdered me."

Remus nodded. "Dora, even if it's ten words, what matters is the emotion and heart that goes into ever one of those ten words. I'm not a poet either," he insisted. "But I think that would be a beautiful idea. We won't show them to anybody," Remus said. Tonks nodded. "They'll be our little secret until the ceremony."

"Three days, Remus," Tonks said, sighing peacefully. Remus nodded.

Soon after, he took his leave (according to Remus, he stayed with Kingsley until after the wedding, when he planned to move in with Tonks), and Tonks wondered what the hell she was going to write.

Her mind was completely blank. She searched deep inside herself for words, and none came. Piece of crumpled-up parchment were scattered on the floor.

_"Remus, I love you, I always have—"_

_"Remus, I hereby vow to—"_

_"My love, Remus, I promise as your wife, I will always—"_

_"Remus, I stand before you today with the promise that—" _

Then, something did come to her, but it wasn't a wedding vow. It was Pomona Sprout, her old Head of House, who'd advised her once on the art of essay writing. She'd said something along the lines on how writing from the heart can be started where the heart's journey first begun.

Tonks took this as meaning that she'd have to go somewhere of significance to her and her husband-to-be. Grimmauld Place? No, it was more a place of woe and argument than a place of joy and rapture. The Shrieking Shack? Probably not a good idea. If Remus was taking the same advice, odds were he'd be there long before she was. Hogwarts? No, they weren't even in the same House.

Then it hit her. Tonks grabbed a roll of parchment and a quill and Disapparated to the place where she and Remus had first met: the ruins of her old home.

* * *

After eighteen years, the small two-level home Tonks had lived in before the attack was not only ash and scorched wood, but rotted scorched wood. Weeds and wildflowers made the mass barely recognizable. Tonks' footprints were long melted away.

She arrived at the site and put her writing tools on the ground where she stood. She needed to search around for the perfect words. Tonks bravely made her way over to the rotting pile of house and began sifting through whatever was left. She overturned plank after plank, and pulled weed after weed, as if the perfect wedding vow would be waiting for her underneath the next board of moldy wood.

"Well, Remus, this is where it all began," she muttered to herself. "All my struggles, all your woes, all our joint love and despair began right here…"

She heard a faint crack from the distance. Looking up as she tossed aside an old rag doll she'd owned as a little girl, Tonks looked surprised to see her mother standing near her.

"I had the feeling you'd be here," Andromeda said. "When I wrote my vows, I looked for the place where Ted and I first met. Of course, that was the Hogwarts Express, so it was kind of hard to find…"

Tonks smiled.

"Writing wedding vows is a young witch's last rite of passage, other than motherhood, of course, but you and Remus decided against children," Andromeda said. Tonks nodded. "I ended up writing mine in the Three Broomsticks, where we had our first date all those years ago. I ran into him there with his quill and ink, and embarrassed, we realized just how right for each other we were."

"I can't think of anything," Tonks said.

"It comes to you. No one else can give you any leads, it's bad luck."

Nodding, Tonks looked around the house. "Eighteen years, Mum. It's been eighteen years since Bellatrix and her toadies tried to do us in."

"I know, Nymphadora," Andromeda mused. "We actually hated this little shanty of ours, so when we came back with you after the attack, Ted and I decided to build a better life and a better place somewhere else."

"Really? So it wasn't as big a loss as I thought," Tonks said.

Andromeda sighed. "Nymphadora, in time, you will come to learn that things can be replaced any day of the week, but you and your father are irreplaceable, and I'd torch a hundred homes if it meant either you two or them," she said.

Tonks nodded. "I actually know what you mean. All this past year, when I thought Remus was lost to me, I felt like the world was caving in around me, and if he never came around, I would have died."

"Oh, I'm sure you wouldn't have DIED, dear," Andromeda said. Tonks shot her a look that said _"Yeah, I would've."_

"Mum, may I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"What is your honest opinion of where you saw me in ten years before last year…and who you saw me settling down with?" Tonks asked. Andromeda raised her thick eyebrow.

"Well, I didn't see you marrying so soon. I thought you'd be trying to work your way up the Auror ranks until you were maybe thirty before—"

"—THIRTY?? Mum, do you think I'm a RECLUSE??"

Andromeda laughed. "Not at all. Nymphadora, you need to understand, you're a free spirit. I didn't picture you tying yourself down and ending your Auror adventures for a few more years!"

Tonks looked almost offended. "End my Auror adventures? Tying myself down? Mum, marriage isn't the end of life! I like to think of it as the beginning of a new adventure," she mused, staring at the pile of moldy house. "An adventure Remus and I can share together," she said softly.

"Well, to be honest, I expected you to marry someone closer to your own—"

"—age?"

Andromeda shook her head. "Personality. Face it, dear, Remus is your polar opposite."

"What about opposites attracting?" Tonks shot back. Andromeda shook her head.

"Well, you do have one thing in common, you're both stubborn as hippogriffs," she said. "I'm going to go home and start dinner. Please don't stay out past twilight, it's dangerous enough being out here without protection charms to begin with."

Tonks nodded. After she heard Andromeda leave, she ran to her quill and parchment. She had her vow…

* * *

A thunderstorm rolled through that night. Andromeda, always the light sleeper, was awakened by a rather loud clap of thunder and decided a mug of warm milk might help her settle down again. She was careful not to wake Ted, although Ted could always sleep through the apocalypse.

She slowly crept downstairs. Nymphadora was probably tucked in bed as well. She liked staying up as late as she could as a girl, but nowadays, if she could sleep all day, she would.

Before she got to the kitchen, however, she caught sight of Nymphadora. Collapsed on the sofa, a piece of wrinkled parchment in her hand, she was out cold (she took after her father, no doubt). Smiling, Andromeda took an afghan and threw it over her sleeping daughter. She then went to the window and shut it. How insane was Nymphadora, anyways? No blanket, open window when it was pouring and storming outside…

She tsked and took the piece of paper out of her hand to set it on the table. But the heading caught her eye "My Vow" written in Nymphadora's chicken-scratch writing.

Should she, or shouldn't she? Well, it wasn't like this was a diary entry or private. She was going to read those words out loud in three days' time anyways! Andromeda twitched her lip into a smile and flattened the paper out. She switched off the living room light and moved into the kitchen, lighting her wand and reading her daughter's thoughts.

_Eighteen years ago, our journey began. Not in the best of ways, but we overcame the struggles that followed, and here we are. For a while, our doubts consumed our every moves, but in time, I came to realize that you are twice as precious to me as any ring, an irreplaceable love that I would sacrifice everything to save. I vow that as long as I am alive, I will never let those doubts of the past bug me again. Now, today we begin a new journey, a new adventure, a lifelong adventure. I vow as long as I live, I will endure the good and the bad beside you, and help you pull through, just as you help pull me through. I love you, and I will love you forever, Remus Lupin, and I am very proud to be your wife. _

Andromeda rarely cried, but that paragraph made a tear surface at the corner of her eye. Her daughter was really grown up after all.

And that was certainly something she hadn't expected to happen for another ten years…

* * *

_**A/N: **__I know that sounds a bit too formal to be Nymphadora Tonks, but I did want to show that she has grown up from being the cheeky young girl to the more worldly woman who's about to get freaking married. So deal. Your prize for reviewing: a weekend in the tropics with either Remus or Sirius (or someone else of your choice). You two will be all alone, with a warm, sandy beach, soft, cool ocean waves, and lots and LOTS of tequila! Enjoy!_


	27. Cold Feet on a Warm Day

At dusk on July 9th, the Tonks family, their overnight bags packed, and Tonks' dress neatly tucked inside a dress bag, made their way to The Burrow, where they planned to stay the night before the wedding. Molly planned a quiet dinner with just the women of the house (she arranged for Ron and Arthur to take Ted to London for a similar men's supper). Remus, Mad-Eye, Kingsley, and the rest who were coming to the quiet little ritual, were to arrive sharply by eleven-thirty the following morning. The weather appeared to be very ideal for tomorrow: it was expected to be warm, but not hot, and sunny, but not overwhelmingly bright.

About an hour after Ron, Arthur, and Ted when out, Molly put a roast under an advanced cooking charm that would cook it to perfection within an hour. Tonks was flattered. Roast was expensive, but Molly had dismissed it saying, "It's well worth the occasion!" Tonks offered to help make supper, but Andromeda anticipated the classic disasters that came with Tonks and a kitchen, and offered to help Molly instead. "Good thing Remus is a fair chef!" she'd said. Tonks groaned.

While waiting for supper to finish cooking, Tonks showed Ginny her wedding dress, and Ginny sighed over it.

"That doesn't sound like a content sigh, or a sigh of admiration," Tonks asked with interest. Ginny shook her head.

"Harry and I are over," she said woefully. Tonks raised an eyebrow.

"Really? I never knew you were on," Tonks said. Ginny nodded and wiped a tear out of the corner of her eye.

"He says it's because of what lies ahead. It will keep me out of harm's way," she said. Tonks put the dress aside and put her hand on Ginny's shoulder.

"You'll find him someday," Tonks said. "And it might not be an easy road, but when it comes to an end, you're going to look back and not understand how you could've liked anyone else!" She reflected for a moment on herself and Bill, and how Bill's carefree gaze had no affect on her anymore.

"But I HAVE found him!" Ginny insisted, pouting like a girl half her age.

Tonks shook her head. "Trust me, Ginny. You're young. You have your entire life to find your mate." For the first time in her life, Tonks felt…what was the word…_motherly_? Where did THIS come from, all of a sudden?

"You're young too," Ginny said. Tonks thought about this.

"Good argument. But, at least I'm out of school and working," she said. "Anyway, I'm older than you—"

Hermione Granger appeared in the doorway. Ginny suddenly perked up a bit. Tonks smiled. "Supper's just about ready. I just got here. Where's Ronald?"

Tonks smirked. "He and our Dad went for a men's night out with Remus and Mad Eye," she informed, getting to her feet. "You got the bridesmaid dress I owled to you, I assume?"

Hermione nodded. "Mum said it came while I was helping Dad at the dental office like I do every summer. Caught her off guard, but then she recalled that in our world, it's how mail comes."

Tonks snickered. "You like it?"

Hermione nodded eagerly. "It's a lot prettier than I thought it would be! Ginny and I will look wonderful!"

Ginny nodded. Tonks knitted her eyebrow. "You questioned my taste in dresses?"

Hermione shook her head. "Well, at least in the Muggle world, brides purposefully choose bad bridesmaids dresses that are hideous so the bride looks better by far."

Tonks shook her head. "That's a nasty tradition. My Mum looked absolutely dazzling in my Muggle aunt's wedding photo despite the…ugh…tartan-printed dress she wore," she bragged. Hermione smiled. Ginny got up finally.

"Well, anyway, thank you for choosing a SOLID color and a nice fit," Ginny said gratefully.

"I'm glad to oblige," Tonks said. Hermione laughed as she changed her nose to a nose that somewhat resembled her aunt Narcissa's nose, so she looked like a snob. She went to fake a deep bow, but as she did, a sudden odd feeling gripped her lower abdomen. Not so much pain as…sickness.

"I'll join you around the dinner table in a moment," Tonks said.

"Tonks, you alright?" Ginny asked.

"Yes, fine," she said, heading calmly to the bathroom.

* * *

Dinner consisted mostly of Molly and Andromeda discussing current affairs while the younger girls giggled at Tonks making noses behind her mother's back. After a scrumptious supper of roast beef and scalloped potatoes (Tonks was embarrassed that Molly went to tall the trouble for a night-before meal) the two matriarchs insisted Hermione, Ginny, and Tonks stood together for a photograph in the dresses they were wearing the following day. The frocks Tonks had picked out for their bridesmaids gowns were of a light, rose-petal pink material, empire-waisted, ankle-length with peasant sleeves. Within budget, they were simple enough, but at the same time gave off an air of elegance. Ginny seemed disappointed that Harry was incapable of attending the wedding, but Tonks could sense Hermione was busting at the seams to show herself off to Ron. Although she had no reason to believe that was the case, Tonks had that feeling that wasn't an option to be ruled out.

Tonks' wedding dress was simple as well. Andromeda had always dreamed her daughter would be married in the dress she wore, but the dress had burned down with their cottage eighteen years ago. 

A light lavender, the dress was only about mid-calf length, but the bodice was beaded in golden beads, strapless, made out of a material that seemed to float. Tonks adored it. Andromeda wasn't as fond of it, saying it was too 'contemporary' and lacked tradition.

After the photo, as Tonks put the dress back on the hanger and went out to join the women for tea in the kitchen, Andromeda tsked disapprovingly. "You could've at least picked white," she said. "It's a traditional symbol of purity!"

"Mum, you're not dumb. You know damn well that on multiple occasions Remus and I have had—"

"—coffee!" Molly suddenly barked (rather abruptly and loudly) to sensor the rest of Tonks' sentence. Ginny blushed, and Hermione giggled. "Coffee indeed, Tonks, well, Ginny, Hermione, I think it is time for you both to get some rest. Tomorrow will have an early start if you want to be dressed before the boys come."

Ginny moaned. "It's only nine-twenty!"

Molly pointed upstairs. "Now, Ginerva Weasley!"

Hermione and Ginny both got up and went upstairs, bidding goodnight to everyone. Molly sighed and looked at Tonks. Tonks blushed. She traced the edge of her tea cup with her finger as Molly and Andromeda chattered on into the night.

"Frankly, I'm surprised you don't seem more excited, Nymphador—"

"—oh Merlin!" Tonks said, gripping her belly and doubling over the table, trying to get to her feet. Andromeda and Molly both leapt to their feet to aid the bride-to-be.

"What is it?" Molly asked.

Tonks groaned. "This queasy feeling I've had all afternoon," she said. "My chest hurts, too."

Molly nodded and bade Andromeda to step aside. Getting her wand out, she waved it around a moment, mumbled something, and waved her wand around Tonks twice. The pain subsided, and Tonks gasped for hair.

"Thanks, Molly," Tonks said.

"What spell was that?" Andromeda asked.

"Before I married Arthur, I wanted to be a Healer. I was so hell bent on it that I eventually made my own spell that calms stomach pains. Gas, morning sickness, indigestion, stomach flu, it relieves all of that. With seven children, I never had one of them complain about needing to stay home from primary school for hurt tummies!" Molly bragged. Andromeda smiled.

"I don't know why I'm getting sick," Tonks said. "Particularly now."

"Maybe it's cold feet?" Andromeda suggested. Tonks shook her head.

"No," she dismissed.

Andromeda put her palm against Tonks' forehead. "You don't feel warm at all."

"But it can't be cold feet!" Tonks whined. "I didn't fight for Remus' love so I could get cold feet the night before the wedding!" Tonks stormed upstairs in frustration. Molly looked at Andromeda.

"You know, I don't think it's cold feet either," Molly said. Andromeda raised an eyebrow.

"Oh?"

Molly smiled. "Tonks herself admitted a while ago that she and Remus had been intimate before," she mused (she didn't think mentioning her little 'sex talk' from over a year ago was necessary). "Perhaps maybe, just maybe—"

"—stop right there, Molly!" Andromeda cut off. "If you're thinking THAT, think again. It's not possible. Now I think we ALL could sue some sleep."

* * *

Hermione, Ginny, and Molly awoke rather early the next morning to decorate the back yard simply yet elegantly. Tonks and Andromeda woke up several hours later, Tonks mainly to run to the bathroom to try and let her sickness pass, Andromeda to aid Molly.

By eleven-fifteen, Hermione and Ginny were dressed and were watching Andromeda assist Tonks in getting ready. This was it. The day Tonks had only dreamed would ever come.

The dress flattered every curve, and Tonks wanted to make her hair match the gold beads on her bodice but her hair was seemingly out of her control again, this time sticking to a sickly green. Tonks screwed her eyes twice again before collapsing in a huge fit of tears. It couldn't be possible. Tonks was coming down with a case of cold feet. Her, now, of all times and people! She'd fought for this day. How would it look if she called it off because something deep within her body was telling her to? She would look like a fool, and Remus would never take her seriously again.

Ginny ran to Tonks' side as she cried on the floor. Hermione bolted outside, where the guests were beginning to appear. Mad Eye was talking to Ted and Remus, who looked dashing, even with his pale, scarred, thin body, in his old-fashioned dress robes. His hair was trimmed shorter (thought still not short) and his teeth were the whitest they'd ever been. Even Hermione glared for a moment before tapping on Ted's shoulder.

"Tonks is upstairs crying, she needs you," she said. Ted looked at Remus, who suddenly looked worried.

"Is she okay?" he asked.

But Hermione and Ted were already running back towards the house. Mad Eye shook his head.

"No need to worry, Remus. She's like me, strong and straight-backed. She's not nervous. Hell, I'd sooner say she was pregnant!" he joked.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Ted asked everyone to head down and wait in the kitchen while he talked to his daughter alone. Hermione shut the door on her way out.

"Dora, you sure you're alright?" Ted asked.

"No," Tonks sobbed. "I'm sick, and I think it's because I'm nervous," she said. "There's nothing else that could explain it."

Ted sighed and took her in his arms and sat on the floor with her, rocking her back and forth like he used to do when she was a little girl. "Well, it's natural to be nervous on your wedding day."

"Not violently, like this!" Tonks said. "I'm afraid my body's telling me to back down, Dad! I can't back down! Not now! Not after all I did to get Remus to come around!"

"Hmm…" Ted sighed. Tonks continued.

"And the thing it, I didn't feel nervous until I got sick last night! I thought today would be the start of something wonderful. Why am I doubting it now? I must be nothing but a stupid chicken!" Tonks shouted sadly. Ted shook his head. "I'm a coward after all. No courage at all."

"Dora, I think just the opposite," Ted said.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Tonks asked.

"Courage doesn't mean you're not afraid of anything. Courage is rather, deciding something is worth conquering your fear for. You think Harry Potter isn't afraid of You-Know-Who? You think Dumbledore wasn't afraid of You-Know-Who?"

"Dumbledore wasn't afraid of anything!" Tonks said. Ted shook his head.

"I didn't have much of a personal relationship with the man myself, but I'd say that it would be unreasonable to assume Dumbledore wasn't afraid of anything," Ted said back. Tonks nodded.

"I love him. Dad, I'd die for him in a heartbeat. So why am I suddenly feeling afraid?"

"I think it's because this is your last step in growing up. After today, you're a woman now and forever. You don't know what it's like, and the road may look a little long and scary for you. It was for me before I married your Mum. For a while, I almost wanted to go back to Hogwarts for one last year as a boy with no responsibilities other than to pass my OWLs!" Ted said.

Tonks nodded. "Today is a big day."

Ted nodded. "You think you can get your hair out of that sickly green color for the wedding? I may not be a fashion expert, but it seems to clash with your gown!"

Tonks laughed and looked ahead of her in the mirror. She struggled to change her hair, but after two tries, it glimmered a brilliant shade of red gold. Ted stood up and helped Tonks to her feet.

"It's just about noon and everyone is in place. Would you mind if I took you for a little walk?" he asked, holding his arm out. Tonks sighed and looked at her father, smiling.

"I'm ready to walk, Dad," she said, linking her arm in his.

Ted and Tonks went outside and rounded the corner to the back of the house, just beyond the garden, where the small shady side of the yard was arranged for the ceremony. Hermione and Ginny were waiting behind a tree, and they both smiled simultaneously as Ted and Tonks approached. Ted took his wand out of his robes and waved at a small harp, charming it to play soft, tranquil music.

Ginny walked out between the two sections of two rows of seats. Hermione followed. Then Tonks took one last deep breath as her father led her around the corner.

The dozen or so guests stood and admired Tonks as she walked by. Tonks couldn't help by laugh internally, realizing half of these guests knew her as nothing but a clumsy, giddy, over emotional girl. Now, here she was, slowly and gracefully (believe it or not) walking down the aisle.

Then there was Remus. He looked….dare she think it…love struck? Awed as she walked towards him? Was she really…beautiful? All her life, Tonks was more familiar with the terms 'cute' and 'pretty' and 'adorable.' For the first time in her life, she indeed felt beautiful.

Ted let go of her arm as she took hold of Remus' hands. Mad Eye flawlessly performed the spell that bound them with a benevolent form of the Unbreakable Vow. The whole time, Tonks could not keep her eyes off Remus, even though Remus' eyes darted back and forth from Mad Eye to Tonks, and back to Mad Eye.

Tonks, for some reason, felt another presence around her, a presence that wasn't altogether unwelcome. Ripping her eyes away from Remus for one moment to observe the guests as Mad Eye spoke, she could have sworn she'd seen a body in the empty seat beside Arthur Weasley on the left side of the front row. When Tonks blinked and looked again, it was gone. To trick whatever was there, Tonks turned back to Remus. After a moment, she looked back towards Arthur Weasley.

"Sirius?" Tonks whispered, seeing the body there again. No one heard her. Tonks struggled not to blink. She could have sworn that in the haze of the midday sun, Sirius was sitting next to Arthur, winking and holding his thumb up in approval. But her eye could not stand the strain anymore. She blinked, and he was gone again.

Befuddled, Tonks turned her attention back to the ceremony.

Amid the glow of lavender that accompanied the Nuptial version of the Unbreakable Bond, Remus slipped a new, bronze band, onto Tonks' ring finger above the moonstone ring. Tonks, in turn, slipped an identical ring onto his finger. Mad Eye then gestured to Remus, who stooped to kiss his bride. The lavender light faded until it was gone. The guests clapped. Molly and Andromeda sobbed happily. Ginny grinned. Ron stared at Hermione. Hermione winked at Tonks and pretended to ignore Ron.

Tonks looked at Remus. Her stomach began feeling off again, but a thought overpowered her stomach bug. A thought that was incredibly surreal, yet at the same time completely within reach.

She was Mrs. Lupin. And Mrs. Lupin was looking up at her husband.

* * *

The 'reception' was as small and quiet as the wedding. Molly, however, did make some delicious finger foods that were passed around as the wedding party moved about the house and yard. Remus and Tonks stayed together throughout the whole afternoon, fingers entwined with each other's. Kingsley toasted the couple, saying he felt he practically saw Tonks grow up, and he was confidant she would finally make a man out of Remus. Bill kissed Tonks' cheek and warned Remus to take good care of her. Mad Eye wasn't sentimental (which was to be expected), but he did extend his congrats and remarked that a little happiness in times such as these was a good relief.

After a light supper, Hermione left for home, the older Weasley children went to their respective flats or apartments. Andromeda and Ted kissed Tonks and Remus goodbye and told them they would have a big breakfast waiting for them in the morning when they came home. For their wedding night, Tonks and Remus reserved a little cottage on the English Channel for the night run by an old Muggle couple, but they weren't expected to arrive any time before eight in the evening, and it was hardly six.

Soon, it was down to Ginny, Ron, Molly and Arthur Weasley, Mad Eye, and Kingsley left at the party. Tonks had long since kicked off her uncomfortable heels. They all sat around the Weasley table talking when Kingsley brought up a rather uncomfortable subject that was more business than leisure. It was stemming from a debate he was having with Arthur.

"I really think it would be more logical to move Harry Potter to a safe house awhile before his birthday. It wouldn't make sense otherwise."

"But You-Know-Who is bound to have a few spies lingering outside that house anyways, so why should sooner have to be better? Let Harry have the protection of Privet Drive for as long as it is available for him!"

"Only to step onto the front lawn and have his meet a swarm of fifty Death Eaters, wands raised at his head?" Kingsley said back.

"Must we discuss this now? Oh—Ginny, bed, now!" Molly said quickly.

"But MU-UM! It's only—"

"—upstairs!" she said. "And no more sending owls to friends asking them to 'rescue you'!"

"That was RON!" Ginny accused, pointing a finger at Ron, who was still eating (Tonks marveled at the amount of food that boy could eat. She'd been full for hours).

"Wha?" he asked.

"Ginerva Weasley, bed now or no owling for a month!" Molly said. She looked at Arthur for help. Arthur nodded.

"It's been a long day, Ginny. Please do as your Mum says," he pleaded. Ginny finally groaned loudly and headed for the stairs, ending her fit with a hard, "Congrats, Tonks. Congrats, Professor!"

Remus smiled up at the girl as she angrily closed the door to her bedroom.

"Anyway," Mad Eye said, turning back to the business at hand. "I agree with Kingsley. If we choose a random date within the next two weeks, move those Merlin-awful Muggles out, then take Potter and bring him here with a solid week before his birthday, I think we'd stand a better chance of not having a confrontation."

"You know they won't care where a battle erupts, but one occurring in Muggle territory would be risky and devastation—" Kingsley added, nodding.

Tonks looked at Remus. The look on his face pretty much everything, and they were saying the same thing. All of this talk of war was upsetting, and today was not a day neither the bride nor the groom wanted to be upset by wartime strategy. It darkened what was an otherwise bright afternoon.

Remus helped Tonks out of the chair, and they headed for the door, when Mad Eye stopped them. 'Where are you two off to?"

Tonks opened her mouth, ready to spout out some polite nonsense about still having to pack for the cabin by the sea, when Remus cut her off.

"We're sorry, but on our wedding day, Dora and I would rather not be disturbed from the happiness with talk of war strategy and the potential of devastation," he said sternly. He opened the door and stormed out, holding Tonks' hand firmly. Once outside, Remus quickly Apparated them to a long, quiet beach. The honeymoon cottage was not far in the distance. The sun was setting over the water, and the golds and pinks were doubled by the water's reflection.

Tonks' mouth was still open. Remus…he'd been so forceful, so angry, so straight forward…

…and so hot.

"Remus….did I ever tell you how much I love you?' Tonks asked, smiling.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ There you have it! The wedding scene! Before any of you who think you're sly and try to come up with the brilliant deduction that Tonks is already pregnant, I'm going to be upfront and say 'DUH!' That should explain it all. As your reward for reviewing this chapter: please help yourself to the leftover food from the Lupin/Tonks nuptials! LOL, lame reward, I know. But I had a limited amount of resources to work with. Sirius is dead and Remus is on his honeymoon night with his wife. What else was I to do? _


	28. The Honeymoon's Over

Although she didn't know it at the time, the three days Tonks and her new husband spent by the sea on their Honeymoon were one of the last times they both would experience true happiness in its simplest form. But even in their little cottage on the shoreline where the little old Muggle woman who owned it brought them breakfast every day, news of the war and the Order's woes could not be avoided. It was almost as if the two of them had evolved a sixth sense from their service to the Order. They could feel that certain element in the air that warned them a storm of another kind was approaching. Tonks could tell when Remus felt it. The hairs on the back of his neck would stand on end, and he'd walk as if he were controlled by puppet strings. Tonks knew Remus could tell when she was feeling troubled too. He'd always ask her the exact same thing, "What's the matter, Dora, dear?"

Tonks noted that when he called her 'dear,' she didn't feel her feet turn cold anymore. Nor did she feel that electric jolt she used to feel when Remus gave her a special bit of attention. Was marriage changing her already?

The weather for the Honeymoon weekend was not exactly ideal. It rained the first day, was windy and cool the second, and on the last day, Remus had come down with a chill as a result of the unusually cold weather. So Tonks spent all three days cooped up with her new husband in the cabin, nursing him back to health.

But she had to admit deep inside that it was nice and cozy in that cottage by the channel. Just her and her Remus. Even her sickness, whatever it was she had, seemed to cease for the weekend. Maybe that was why she was still so happy.

It was on the third day that Tonks first brought up a topic that she knew would just curl Remus' hair.

"How do you think Molly and Arthur are still keeping up their sex drives after being married so long?" she grinned.

Remus nearly spit out his tea as he sat up in the king-sized bed they shared. Tonks laughed. "I mean, Molly's certainly no spring chicken, and men Arthur's age are—"

"—keeping their noses out of other's peoples sex lives," Remus groaned. "What on Earth possessed you to think such things anyway?"

"Well, I just meant that in twenty or so years from now, when we're as old as they are, will we still be rolling around three times a night like now?" Tonks asked, licking her lip seductively.

"Dora, for Merlin' sake, this is the Honeymoon phase," Remus said after regaining composure. "It's natural for all couples to be like this. Then, afterwards, it's also natural for married couples to have ups and downs in their relationships. I read about it long ago in a Muggle textbook I snuck away from the library one summer before my fourth year. At times, we'll be so in love with each other we won't be able to rip our bodies apart. Other times, we'll get sick just looking at each other."

Tonks shook her head. "I'd never get sick looking at you!"

"That's what you say now, but I'll bet within four years I'll be spending two nights a week on the sofa," Remus muttered. Tonks rolled her eyes playfully.

"Why would you be? I can't imagine anything you'd do to piss me off that much," she said, kissing Remus' forehead. Tonks thought a moment before asking her next question.

"Did Prongs have those ups and downs? Harry's parents?" she asked. She looked at Remus thoughtful face for as moment and bit her lip. "If I'm prying—"

"—no. James and Lily didn't…they didn't have time to experience the ups and downs."

"Oh," Tonks muttered remorsefully.

"But from the looks of the pair of them, you would've thought no two people could've been as perfectly happy together as they were. James was so loving of Lily, and Lily stood by James every second of every day. Sirius joked often of how it made him sick," Remus chuckled. The memory of Sirius and how he'd predicted all along that Tonks and Remus would get married made a tear come to Tonks' eye.

"What about Sirius and Bastet? Sirius told me about her and how she died. You think they'd have made it?"

Remus thought a moment and sighed. "Well, they're relationship was significantly different. They'd been together since late our fifth year. They bickered and were on-and-off a few times. Both were loudmouthed know-it-alls. If they had children, Merlin forbid, the offspring wouldn't come with an off switch at all. But….they would've made it too. Sirius was so fond of Bastet."

"Think we'll make it?" Tonks asked.

Remus looked at her. Tonks frowned.

"The silence is very reassuring," she said. Remus quickly shook his head.

"I….hope we do," Remus said, smiling. Tonks looked at him oddly. Something about his smile didn't seem altogether genuine.

Tonks got up from her seat next to the bed and sighed to herself. "Get some rest. We can't have you sneezing while we Apparate…your nose will be the only part of you that makes it home!"

Remus nodded and settled down to take a nap. 'Oh, Dora!"

Tonks turned around in the doorway. "Yes, love?"

Remus smiled. "I love you." Tonks smiled as Remus laid flat on the bed, pulled the afghan up to his chin, and closed his eyes.

On second thought, Tonks pondered. Maybe he's being genuine after all. That was the first time Remus had ever said 'I love you,' without Tonks somehow initiating it.

Outside was windy. Tonks kicked her sandals off and ran down the sandy coast for a few hundred yards before collapsing on a dune. She let the ocean spray rain over her. The waves licked the very tip of her toes. It was a shame Remus had gotten sick. He'd be there right beside her on the ground, holding her hand.

Wouldn't he?

Tonks' tranquil thoughts interrupted her as she heard an owl screech from above. A big, horned owl was hovering over her head, coming in for a landing with a piece of parchment to deliver. She'd never seen this owl. It wasn't an Order member (they still considered Patronuses to be their safest bet). Was it from the Ministry? Or perhaps Andromeda?

If it was her mother, Tonks was going to let all hell loose when they got home the next day!

The owl screeched (it sounded as if it had strep throat) and dropped the parchment in Tonks' lap. It didn't even bother landing on the sand. It just flew straight up and away. Obviously, whoever was sending an owl didn't expect a reply.

Opening the letter, Tonks saw some handwriting. It was a font she'd never seen before, yet somehow it was familiar.

_I see the blood-traitor's daughter has married more of a freak than herself. Well, freaks of a kind group together, do they not? _

Tonks suddenly thought of how she hadn't brought her wand out with her. She whipped her head around. No one was in sight.

_Making cubs with your beast lover will be an absolute shame, a shame no one has ever experienced. It, along with you, will be eliminated. I promise you. So enjoy the time you have now, because, for the good of the name of wizard, you must be killed._

Tonks didn't expect there to be a signature, and sure enough, there wasn't. Preparing to make a mad dash for the cabin, then deciding not to make any sudden moves, Tonks crept slowly at ground level and headed for the water for no spell cast in air could penetrate water more than a few centimeters and still be viable. Whoever delivers this owl was spying on them, and clearly, they had to know where they were now. Were they nearby?

Tonks slipped into the water (VERY cold despite it being summer…and the misty rain that had begun to fall didn't exactly help either). She slowly eased her way out to a buoy floating about 50 feet offshore. Once at the buoy, Tonks ducked underwater, the parchment still in hand. The ink didn't run, this letter had been composed a while ago. Maybe that was a good sign? And the letter DID say 'enjoy the time you have now.' Maybe whoever wrote this wasn't planning to attack her there and then?

The fear that struck Tonks' heart just then was worse paint and any sickness or worry she'd felt the past few days. Nothing made Tonks this afraid for a long time, not since she was a little girl, and her fear of werewolves was at its height. She would refuse to go outside on the full moon. Even at school on Hogsmeade weekends, when boys would ask her to dinner, she'd refuse if the moon was set to be full that night.

Should she tell Remus? Tonks let up for a quick breath of air, then she submerged her body under the surface again, letting herself sick nearly to the bottom (if only she had her wand, she could've cast a Bubble-Head charm so she could stay down longer). Her hair, long again, was the same sickly green it was before her wedding, and it floated around her head almost like a halo. It was there that she waited for what seemed like years, her world hanging in suspension, waiting for a spell to be shot.

No, was her conclusion. It would only make Remus worry, and really, a few strong shields over the house once the two of them got home tomorrow would keep them perfectly safe, at least until the Order met to discuss further preparation for moving Harry Potter to The Burrow. Then, a simple Portkey from one safe house to another shouldn't have a problem—

Suddenly, a loud explosion from above the water sent a wave throwing Tonks further out into open sea. Tonks scrambled for the surface, her heart having completely shut down for both fear and lack of oxygen. She gasped for air the moment she broke through, and upon seeing what was happening, Tonks screamed.

Up on the shore, right where the honeymoon cabin once stood, was nothing but a ball of fire. It had exploded. And Remus was probably still inside.

Tonks scrambled for the shore, panting and crying her way onto land in a panic. Disregarding any more potential danger, Tonks ran wildly out of the water at the cottage.

Her eye caught sight of Remus suddenly, He was standing behind a dune, unhurt. Tonks sighed in utter relief, as if an 80-ton boulder had just been lifted off her shoulder. He'd apparently had some kind of warning.

"REMUS!" Tonks hollered. Remus lunged for her, grabbing her and slamming his hand over her mouth.

"Sh! You daft? Whoever this was might come back!" he warned, dragging his wife behind the dune. Tonks peered at the destroyed cottage. Tonks didn't think for an instant of her clothes and belongings. She was relieved enough Remus had gotten himself out. But Remus reached beside him and handed Tonks her wand.

"You should carry it with you always," he scolded. "Times like this, even a trip to the garden could kill you!"

"Wait, Remus?" Tonks asked, holding her wand close to her. "What the bloody hell just happened? How did you escape without a scratch?"

Remus looked at the burning cabin. "A few minutes after you left, I got this…feeling that something wasn't right. I got up and looked out the window and saw a hooded figure behind a bush about 20 meters away, just staring. I knew this wasn't a good thing, so, as quietly as I could, I grabbed our wands and crept out the back door. Whoever it was, he probably thinks he killed me."

Tonks' jaw dropped to the ground.

"I ducked behind here just as I heard him scream '_expulso maxima_!'" Remus continued. "But I'm unharmed, and lucky you weren't still here. But, it looks like our honeymoon must come to an early end. We need to get to you parents' house as soon as possible."

"I'll contact Mad-Eye…" Tonks said, raising her wand. Remus shook his head and quickly grabbed her arm down.

"Mrs. Phelps will be here any minute, she's a Muggle, remember? She'll think it was the furnace exploding or something."

Tonks nodded and heeded Remus' warning. Sure enough, the old Muggle woman came running down the beach, looking distressed. There were a few firemen on foot behind her as well.

Remus leaned down and whispered in Tonks' ear. "He must've known he didn't kill me. He didn't set off the Mark…"

Tonks nodded and looked as Mrs. Phelps began to wail. Tonks looked at her with pity.

"She must think we're dead," she said. "We should tell her we're alright—"

Remus grabbed her arm again. "It's better she think we're dead. How do I explain to her that I 'had an inkling' the pipes were to explode? Besides, even if they are Muggles, the more people think we're dead, the safer we are."

That was true. Plus, there was always a possibility whoever attacked the cottage did think he'd succeeded and just fled without setting off the Dark Mark.

"This is bad," Tonks whispered. "They're beginning to attack Order members. That means—"

"—they're gaining momentum. Kingsley's prediction is beginning to unfold," Remus agreed. He took her hand. "Let's get home before news gets out. Once we're back, contact Mad-Eye, I'll get Kingsley and the Weasleys, and we'll meet and discuss further action."

Remus didn't even wait for Tonks' reply. He Apparated them both back to Tonks' home.

* * *

That night, Remus and Tonks explained their story again to Andromeda, Ted, Molly and Bill Weasley (Arthur stayed him with the younger children, at Molly's worried request), Kingsley, and Mad-Eye. Tonks had never seen Kingsley so tense and worried. But she decided to not show the letter to anyone. What happened happened, and hopefully the attempt on her life was enough to put the author of said letter at rest for now.

"They're probably going to try and attack again, this time any of us," Kingsley theorized. "The Ministry might not last the month."

Remus nodded. "Good thing I listen to my instincts," he said. "They saved my life."

Tonks rolled her eyes. If anyone could speak the rebuttal to that argument, she could.

Molly sighed. "The world just isn't safe anymore. My children are blood-traitors, my friends aren't worthy to use magic! I'm not sure sending Ron and Ginny back in the fall is the best idea."

"If you don't send Ron and Ginny to school, Mum, then they win and you're just being a coward, making them feel better," Bill insisted, patting his Mum's shoulder.

Kingsley shook his head. "Sometimes knowing when to hide from trouble is bravery in itself," he said. Tonks shook her head.

"I agree with Bill," was her answer. Remus gave her a puzzled look. What Tonks was thinking of was the underground rebellion the children had successfully carried out two years ago. They were a very capable bunch. "Knowing when to hide from trouble is one thing, but if there's one thing those damned Death Eaters know is that even if they do take over the Ministry, other than Voldemort's inner circle, we can easily outnumber and overpower those assholes."

Remus looked at her with that strange look again. Tonks smiled. "They know one wrong death, especially the death of a 'helpless, underaged' child, would spark a rebellion. The Dark Lord would lose nine tenths of his army against the population of Hogsmeade!"

Mad Eye nodded at Tonks. "You're a madwoman. You need to be promoted after the war ends."

Tonks blushed. Remus was still looking at her oddly. Tonks suddenly realized what he was saying with his eyes. He was looking at her with affection.

"You know, Sirius would've said something very similar," Remus said after a moment. That was the highest compliment Tonks could ever receive. She beamed.

Molly looked worryingly at Kingsley. "You know, he may be a cold-blooded murderer, but he's not dumb and neither are his followers…well, most of his followers. He would not commit a murder at Hogwarts unless it was Harry Potter himself."

"Then he's not going back, is he?" Molly asked. "Is Harry returning in the fall?"

The room went silent. Andromeda stood up and took the tray of empty tea cups into the kitchen. The silence was awkward. Molly looked around rather frantically, hoping for an answer. Even Tonks didn't know.

"He'd be a fool to, especially if the Ministry falls," Remus finally said. Molly bit her lip.

"Then what? Is someone going to train him to defeat the Death Eaters in hiding for a few years while everyone else sits under Death Eater reign, waiting? Who is training him?" Molly asked.

She looked to Mad Eye and Kingsley first. They both silently shook their heads.

"Molly, no one's intending to take Harry underground to train him," Mad Eye said. "He'll…he knows what he needs to do."

"He knows what to do? He's a boy! He's only known magic for seven years!" Molly protested.

"Harry is the best hope we have, trust him," Kingsley said, looking at Remus, who nodded. "I'm thinking Dumbledore's told him how to do what he needs to do, and I highly doubt it includes passing his N.E.W.Ts."

Tonks nodded. "So, about moving him…?"

"We need to call another meeting, with everyone who is left of the Order," Bill insisted. Everyone murmured in agreement.

"Kingsley, will you send a Patronus to everyone to call a meeting time and place when it is right?" Remus asked.

"Yes, Remus," Kingsley said quickly. "We can't be seen assembled as a large group for too long, so I'll send notice a day in advance."

The meeting was quickly dispersed, and Remus and Tonks went upstairs to Tonks' old room. Ted had replaced the twin-sized bed with a queen sized bed for two, and the room was less girly and more grown up. The first thing Remus did was collapse onto the bed. Tonks sighed and went to change in the bathroom. She slipped on the most light, revealing negligee she hadn't brought to the honeymoon cottage (all her clothes there were gone).

She made her hair a rose-petal pale pink (Remus loved that color on her) and went out to the bed.

But, Remus was asleep. Tonks' shoulders dropped disappointingly as she climbed in beside him and rolled on her side, facing away from her husband. It was their first sexless night after the wedding.

The honeymoon was over.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Your prize for reviewing this chapter: you get a romantic dinner-for-two with Remus or Sirius, followed by a simple moonlit stroll along the lake…classic, but it never fails, right? _


	29. Letting It Sink In

"Are you nervous?"

Tonks looked at Remus and nodded. "I'd be stupid to not be, wouldn't I?"

Remus nodded. "We all are, no doubt."

Standing in front of The Burrow, broomstick firmly in hand, Tonks stood beside her husband, her mentor Mad-Eye on the other side of her, waiting for the signal from Hestia Jones via Patronus to set out to Little Whinging to retrieve Harry Potter. It was late afternoon on July 27th.

Tonks turned to Mad-Eye. "You really think we'll have company?" she asked, a hint of fear in her voice. Mad-Eye didn't bother looking at Tonks. He stared blankly into the hazy evening, as if he was aware that something ill-fated was to come of this. His rare uptight, quiet form always startled Tonks. It meant he 'sensed' something. The last time he 'sensed' something, Sirius Black was killed.

"Not really able to say. They'd be daft not to have some spies lingering outside the little house. But to expect a full battle to come out of this night is unreasonable."

Tonks nodded. She felt her stomach lurch forward, but she was able to swallow back any queasiness she felt. She felt a hand grasp her right hand. Looking up at Remus, Tonks smiled.

"It will be fine. Why so worried? You've beaten two Death Eaters at once without receiving so much as a scrape," Remus said.

Tonks whipped her head away from him to await a reaction from Mad-Eye. HIS protégé wasn't nervous for any reason!

But his only reaction was a nod and his favorite phrase. "Constant vigilance."

Was he afraid?

After all, even if there were no Death Eaters present, moving Harry Potter and breaking the protection charm would not be an easy task to execute. The Order of the Phoenix had spent two straight days and nights figuring their elaborate plan out. They decided to go with Kingsley and Mad-Eye's suggestion of moving Harry a few days before the 31st. That was decided only after a few hours. But then, the task of being absolutely safe and fooling the Death Eaters that might be on guard in front of 4 Privet Drive. Forty hours, each Order member sleeping in 2-hour shifts while the others sucked down caffeinated tea and discussed various stratagems (Mad-Eye stayed awake the entire time, miraculously, though Tonks wasn't thoroughly surprised). First, there was an idea to have Harry drink Polyjuice made from his cousin Dudley's hair, then sneak him out when they moved the Dursleys. But then, what would they do with the real Dudley? Then, while Tonks slept her first shift, Remus suggested temporarily Confunding everyone in the neighborhood, then Disillusioning Harry and move him via broomstick to The Burrow. But then, what if the Ministry caught wind of the mass usage of the Confunding Charm on Muggles? Just one count was illegal and grounds for a week in Azkaban and parole.

Then, they were enlightened. As Remus slept his third shift, Tonks was pondering their current idea: creating several illegal Portkeys that sent passengers all over the world, and putting Harry on the Portkey that shipped to the Americas, where he could hide until he had the ability to defeat Voldemort. When Mundungus Fletcher burst in, having left the meeting nearly twelve hours before, saying he had the perfect plan. And he did. Polyjuicing a few Order members into images of Harry, then sending them off in different directions with 'guardians' towards several different safe houses was the idea they settled on. Tonks offered her house up as a safe house, and Andromeda and Ted obliged without questioning. Tonks, however, was to fly to The Weasley's Aunt Muriel's house. Remus was headed for Hestia's cabin, where her sister and nephew lived, waiting to come to aid if necessary.

So now it was all planned out. Both Tonks and Remus were to fly on broomstick as guardians. Remus was flying with George Weasley, and Tonks was flying with Ron. That was another thing. Tonks was astounded at the amount of bravery Ron and Hermione displayed in volunteering to go as faux-Harrys without even a moment's hesitation. What loyalty. What dedication. It warmed Tonks right up. Aurors were in such short supply. These two, along with perhaps Harry himself, would be her first three students under the new post-war Auror Department (once Mad-Eye gave her that promotion he mentioned).

Tonks took a deep breath and looked at Remus again. "Any minute now, right? I mean, Hestia and Diggle wouldn't have run into too much trouble…"

Remus shook his head. "The only trouble I can see is with the Dursleys themselves."

Tonks snickered, thinking again of that troll Dudley hitting on her two years ago. She and Remus were initially offered the bit of the mission Hestia and Diggle were taking care of. Tonks, naturally, refused and said that she wanted to stay in the heat of it, and she felt her Auror talents would be needed on the front rather than in Muggle suburbia for a year or two. Remus refused after Tonks stated her case, staying where she went, he'd follow her. Tonks nearly melted into a puddle of lovesick soup when he said that. She'd barely managed to shove him into Bill Weasley's old bedroom before letting her turned-up passion get the best of both of them.

She did later apologize to Bill Weasley, of course.

A white beam of light began rising from the horizon. Tonks felt her heart pound against her chest. Remus let go of her hand and stood straight up. Tonks took one more look at Mad-Eye, who stood at attention like the Top Auror he was. Tonks gripped her broomstick tighter. Sure enough, Hestia's distinct goldfish Patronus glided over the field, above the faint outline of the Lovegood home, and began bolting straight at her.

It uttered only one word when it reached her: _"Go." _

* * *

Tonks paced the living room of Muriel Prewett's home with an air of absolute fear and anxiety. When was that old bat going to let them fly off to The Burrow? Tonks could get them there in lightning 

speed. They'd missed the Portkey, and it returned to the Burrow without them. Now Muriel was criticizing Ron while simultaneously inspecting him for wounds. She ignored Tonks for the most part. She'd survived the horrible ordeal uninjured. Barely alive at that. Someone was looking down on her from a lucky star tonight for sure. The thought that it was Sirius gave her chills.

Who out there was safe? Was anyone in the Order dead or injured? Did Harry make it to her house alive and intact with Hagrid? Most importantly for her: was Remus out there still, fighting for his life with three Death Eaters close behind? The waiting was a sensation Tonks would never forget as long as she lived. The sheer torture of waiting was worse than being murdered by Bellatrix, like she nearly was an hour ago. Even though the Moony ring on her finger wasn't alight, she was worried. Now she was waiting. Waiting….wondering…

Once arriving at the Dursley house, the plan was set out in front of Harry, who hesitated, but finally obliged to letting six other people take on his appearance in order to throw off any possible Death Eater threat. Tonks told Harry of her marriage, and he looked fairly surprised (Remus apologized for not inviting him). Once the plan was established, everyone got ready to lift off and fly (Kingsley and Hermione flew on a thestral, as did Bill and Fleur. Harry himself sat on Sirius' old motorbike). However, the second they left the house, the entire Order was surrounded by Death Eaters! Tonks managed to surprise herself by not screaming, but first getting her wand out.

"Get ready, Harry, this is going to be a fun ride!" Tonks shouted to Ron, sitting right behind her. Suddenly, nothing mattered but survival. Getting past the Death Eaters.

She took off and began a technique of executing some jerky, erratic movements with her broom to make her look inexperienced. Maybe they'd think the Order wouldn't put Harry with the dumbest guardian. But when it didn't work, Tonks wanted to gain altitude, so she flew up into the black sky. She heard Ron whimpering behind her.

"Four….four…." he muttered. Tonks immediately pulled off a swift and complete turn around of the broom to briefly face her enemy. There, racing towards her at the speed of light, were the Lestranges, Thorfinn Rowle, and some Death Eater even Tonks didn't recognize.

Tonks shot back around and zipped further and further away. Dueling curses traveling by air could not travel more than twenty paces, supposedly. That little tidbit of information had saved her ass before…was it enough for an aerial battle?

Tonks could hear Ron begin to spout out curses from the back of the broom. Tonks figured this was a good system, Ron shot and Tonks flew as fast as she could towards the protection of Muriel's house.

But a maddening laugh that Tonks was, by now, all too familiar with, echoed through her ears, fresh, and close. Bellatrix was closing in.

Tonks could not speed up her piece-of-crap broomstick much more. Ron didn't deserve to face those Death Eaters all alone.

Tonks held her wand tightly in her fist and shouted a Stunning Curse, followed immediately by a Body-Bind out into the darkness behind her, both of which missed any of the four who pursued them by a long shot.

Tonks knew she couldn't properly defend herself flying straight westbound, so she dipped south and flew on an inclining angle. There, much better. She was getting more and more surprised by the amount of level-headedness she was displaying in a deadly time such as this. At least Voldemort wasn't appearing to be following them.

_"STUPEFY!"_ Ron suddenly cried, aiming his wand at Rowle. Tonks was astounded as the curse hit Rowle directly in the head. Rowle fell backwards off his broom and spiraled towards the earth, hundreds of yards below.

The action seemed to be picking, as, finally, did Tonks' adrenaline, and she'd finally managed to begin spouting off some accurate, worthwhile counterattacks. Ron continued fighting splendidly, and the unidentifiable Death Eater seemed to be wary of him since his perfect disposal of Rowle with a single curse.

Bellatrix began firing at Tonks suddenly. Gasping for breath, Tonks realized in her madness, Bella was missing quite a lot, but she was dangerously close to hitting Ron with a green spark.

"Harry, put up a shield over yourself and hold it! Just you!" Tonks instructed Ron seemed to hesitate, but he did as he was told. He was safe as long as he could hold his shield.

_"STUPEFY!"_ Tonks cried, aiming at not Bellatrix, who was out of range, but Rodolphus, who daringly was flying closer. Tonks gritted her teeth as she nailed him with the curse on his right shoulder. Rodolphus spiraled out of control on his broom, hanging on by a death grip with one hand, in a dramatic display that in any other situation would've had Tonks laughing.

"We're almost there!" Tonks cried, recognizing the hill half-coated with blooming heather that Arthur told Tonks was her last landmark. She was to turn in the direction of the heathered side and follow it for another league or two, and Muriel's house was underneath a large sycamore.

"Don't count on making it, freak!" laughed Bellatrix. Tonks couldn't believe in her madness, Bellatrix would rather have the satisfaction of killing her niece than trying to save her husband's life as he dangled in mid air, one hand on his broom. What a twisted woman.

Tonks figured her best bet now wasn't to try and off Bellatrix with her Kill-When-Threatened card, but to dart for Muriel's house. Once inside the protective charm over the house, Bellatrix could shoot off all the curses she wanted.

Bellatrix inserted her maniacal laugh while firing one curse after another. Tonks caught on to the pattern: Killing, Torture, Killing, Killing, Torture, Stunning, Killing. It was a cycle of curses. Tonks zig-zagged erratically with her broom to avert the lethal curses.

Tonks finally saw the safe house she was destined for. Tonks ordered Ron to lower his shield at the very last moment, or else he'd ricochet off the larger shield and be hurdled right back into Bellatrix' lap. Tonks steepened her angle enough to penetrate the shield. Narrowly cheating death by no more than a meter one more time, Tonks broke through the protective shield, and Bellatrix was defeated, for a time, at least. Cursing at the shield in a meager attempt to break it, her efforts were fruitless, and after a full fifteen minutes, she finally flew away.

Tonks and Ron had done it. The worst was over.

As soon as they'd entered the house, Muriel was there scolding Tonks for endangering her nephew's life by being late. Their Portkey had left without them.

Now, she was waiting and wondering as she waited for an all-clear instinct to tell her that she and Ron could fly on the broom safely to the Burrow. Muriel suggested a few hours. Tonks could barely stand a few minutes. For all she knew, Remus could be dead or bleeding somewhere after losing an aerial duel with Voldemort himself. Tonks took another look at her ring. It didn't light up. According to a drunken Sirius, that meant Moony was safe from harm for the time being.

But it was her RING! What the bloody hell did it know anyway? Well, it had certainly seen the two of them through some rough waters. Would it see them both through this one?

Meanwhile Muriel still hovered around Ron, who was turning back to his normal form. "Ronald Bilius, get to bed immediately. Neither of you are going anywhere until morning if I have any say—"

"—but you don't," Tonks finally snapped. She grabbed Ron's wrist and dragged him into the yard.

"Young lady, where the hell—"

"—everyone's supposedly to be back by now and they're all undoubtedly worried about us! We need to go!"

"They wouldn't have stuck around. They've all exposed themselves enough for one night. Harry's probably safe, so You-Know-Who'll have asked them to retreat to wherever their base is," Tonks assured Muriel.

Tonks and Ron re-mounted her broom and flew off as quickly as possible.

* * *

"Mad-Eye's dead."

When the words came out of Bill's mouth, Tonks felt her heart break into a hundred pieces. She didn't even bother asking questions, she just pulled out a handkerchief and began crying into it. Remus, who apparently had touched down safely a full hour before Tonks arrived, only lightly wrapped his arm around her. Nothing felt secure about this embrace.

Bill and Fleur were the last pair to come in that night, so apparently they'd gotten hell as well. Everyone had, but Tonks and Ron, Bill and Fleur, and obviously Harry and Hagrid, had gotten the worst of it. They'd seen it all go down. Mad-Eye, flying with Mundungus, had been the first target pair of Voldemort. Mundungus lost his nerve and vanished just as Voldemort shot a Killing Curse a him. The curse hit Mad-Eye instead, and that was it.

Tonks couldn't believe it. The greatest Auror of all time, her mentor, or friend, sometimes she even thought of him as her 'other' father, was dead. It just wasn't possible. He was always so paranoid! All those Dark Magic detectors, the extensive knowledge of the patterns and habits of the Death Eaters and other Dark Wizards! The reason Tonks went into the line of work she did was dead, all on a count of that dirty little louse Mundungus getting a case of cold feet and bailing, right out of the gate.

Right out of the gate! He didn't even get a chance! Tonks and everyone else at least were able to develop a two-second strategy in order to save themselves. Mad-Eye, who was the mastermind behind the Order since Dumbledore's death, and even in times before, didn't even see his own fate coming.

Tonks, for the first time in her life, felt a craving for revenge against Voldemort. Against Bellatrix, who'd been the reason she couldn't shout out a warning to Mad-Eye. Against Mundungus, for being such a bloody coward. If it were anybody else in the world, Tonks knew they'd feel Mad-Eye's blood on their hands. Not Dung. He'd wake up warm and safe in his own bed at dawn and go about his normal shady business in the illegal trading game.

They all deserved to die. Every Death Eater. Dung, Voldemort.

And Remus wasn't an extraordinary help either. The light hug or pat on the shoulder was one thing. But he knew how much Mad-Eye meant to Tonks. Why wasn't he even trying to do more? She'd do everything in her power to consol Remus if—

Tonks thought a moment on that between her tears. When Sirius died, Tonks didn't exactly come to Remus' aid with a bundle of roses and words of comfort. She'd been so selfish and concerned about getting Remus to love her again, she never bothered to think about how absolutely shitty Remus must've felt. After all, Sirius was Remus' best surviving mate up until that fateful night at the Ministry.

Great. Add guilt to grief. Way to go, Tonks. What a way to feel better.

Remus and Bill went out to try and find the body for burial. Kingsley left to return to his business with the Muggle Prime Minister. Tonks, inconsolable, decided not to stay very long. She just wanted to fall into someone's arms and cry without being asked why. She wanted strong, firm arms wrapped around her, gently telling her it was going to be okay, even though she probably wouldn't listen.

Tonks realized that even after Sirius Black was killed, she hadn't felt negative emotions and a wanting to be babied this intensely. It made her feel sick, and not in the way she'd felt for almost a month now.

This was what letting it all sink in really was.

* * *

_**A/N: **__Well, how emotionally packed was THAT? Hope you liked it! When writing Mad-Eye's death, I wanted Tonks' emotion to be fifty-times the emotion she felt when Sirius died. After all, they may have been kinda close towards the end, but I always felt that despite being family, Tonks had a stronger, closer bond with Mad-Eye. Your reward for reviewing this chapter: you get a year's supply of chocolate……chocolate-covered Remus or Sirius!! Wink wink! _


	30. The Blue Ring

In the days following the death of her beloved mentor, Tonks felt herself getting sick more and more. The sickness had gone on for three straight weeks. It was clearly more than a bug, and if Tonks needed to see a Healer, then she wanted to see them soon. She couldn't be incapacitated like this when battle came…and it would come.

But the one thing that probably frightened Tonks more was what this meant. The stress on her daily activity had been slightly lifted since Harry was safely under the protection of The Burrow. Yes, she still got up every morning to throw up. Her period was still not coming, and now, her breasts were beginning to ache like they'd never ached before. Tonks wasn't stupid, of course. She had one thought in the back of her mind that made her body shiver every time she thought about it. But then again, THAT was only one possibility out of many…right?

The Ministry was still out of Death Eater hands, but Kingsley didn't need to tell Tonks that it was only a matter of days now. However, because of Mad Eye's death, Kingsley allowed Tonks to stay away from most of the drama going on inside the Auror Department. When she wasn't at home ralphing or crying over Mad Eye (Bill and Remus had come back from the body hunt empty handed, sending Tonks into a fresh batch of tears), she was at the Burrow helping Bill and Fleur with their wedding preparations.

Remus and Tonks still lived with Andromeda and Ted, and the plans Tonks had for moving out with her husband to their own apartment were put on hold. It was just too dangerous. Even though she felt all too safe with Remus beside her, she found out Remus was still a little shell-shocked over Tonks arriving late from Little Whinging. Apparently, he'd thought she'd been killed out there. Now it was rare for her to get a moment alone without him in eyesight.

Not that she didn't totally mind that. Remus' sudden need to protect her was actually rather sexy.

But once Remus got a hold of the notion that Tonks was really sick, he became downright annoying. Now Tonks knew what he'd meant by times in a marriage when the two of them could barely stand each other. Remus would waver back and forth from being a devoted husband trying to make his ill wife as comfortable as possible, and an almost jerkish man who didn't realize his wife could, to an extent, take care of herself.

Bill and Fleur's wedding was just around the corner, and Tonks had the feeling Remus would not allow her to attend unless she 'got better.' The day before, instead of going to Fleur's bachelorette party and helping her get her family settled in, she stayed with her mother at home and discussed this matter with her. It wasn't like she was missing out on that much. Fleur struck an unpleasant nerve with Tonks. She seemed too…what was the word…arrogant? And what was worse was the little fact that Tonks owed her marriage to Fleur. If it weren't for Fleur's devotion to Bill, Remus would've never come around.

Midday the day before the wedding, Andromeda and Tonks were in the kitchen. Andromeda was brewing stew for a quiet supper. Tonks, who was pale in the face and trying not to think of food for fear it might make her sick again, was looking at her feet from her spot perched on the counter.

"Nymphadora, come and try the stew, I think it needs more spice…" Andromeda called. Tonks felt her stomach lurch forward. Doubling over, Tonks groaned. Andromeda immediately dropped her spoon and ran over.

"Nymphadora!" Andromeda cried out. "Are you sick again?"

Tonks nodded. "Mum, it'll pass eventually. It's just a virus or…something."

Andromeda shook her head. She put her long bony fingers under her daughter's chin and raised her face to meet her own. She looked deep into Tonks' eyes and sighed. "Are you pregnant?"

Tonks nearly slapped her mother. Instead, she wriggled out of her mother's grip and tried to leave the kitchen. But with one wave of Andromeda's wand, the door was shut and locked. Tonks was cornered.

"You are," Andromeda immediately diagnosed.

"No! I can't be!" Tonks denied, shaking her head violently. "Remus and I BOTH agreed! No children!" Andromeda sighed.

"Like hell you can't be. And agreements don't mean a thing. You're late, aren't you?" she asked.

Tonks bit her lip and nodded. "I thought it was all the stress with the Order. You know, especially in recent weeks?"

Andromeda shook her head. "I honestly don't see how it can be anything BUT a child, Nymphadora. You usually handle stress very well, from my experience."

Tonks looked at her feet. "But it could be a werewolf! That was why Remus and I decided it was best to not have children. If this is a baby, it could very well shred my innards apart in my sleep!"

It almost looked like Andromeda was going to laugh. Pouting, Tonks tried to budge the door. It wouldn't give. "What the bloody hell is so funny?" she asked, putting her hands in her hips.

"I would've expected Remus to know more than I do about lycanthropy. Evidently, he overlooked one little fact…"

"What fact?" Tonks asked.

"Nymphadora, dearest," Andromeda began. "After your little encounter when you were six, even though there were visibly no signs of contact between you and the wolf, your father and I vigorously researched lycanthropy and the ways to contract it. The ONLY way a werewolf can be made is if the victim is personally injected with the virus through a bite or a scratch during the full moon."

Tonks recalled Remus saying how Bill had been bitten, but because Greyback was in human form at the time, he would be spared the lycanthropy for the most part.

"Werewolves cannot be born unless two werewolves mate in their wolf form during the full moon. Even then, the odds that the mother carries the pups to term without being torn apart from the inside out during a full moon occurring in the gestation period is highly unlikely."

Tonks thought a moment. "So, a human cannot give birth to a werewolf?"

Andromeda shook her head. "Exactly. Even with a werewolf parent, the child will be completely human. At the most what could happen is the child is born with a lot of thick hair."

Tonks felt a tear come to her eye, and for the first time, the thought of being with child wasn't a bad thought.

Meanwhile, Andromeda continued to explain. "The Lycanthropic virus can be spread only through blood-to-blood contact. Or saliva-to-blood contact. It doesn't thrive in any other bodily fluid."

Tonks looked up at her mother. "That wasn't our only concern," Tonks said. "Think of the timing of the birth!"

Andromeda nodded solemnly. "True, there is that little notion. I do believe it's a careless time to be getting pregnant, Nymphadora. You never were the one to think before you acted."

Tonks bowed her head again. After a minute of silence, Andromeda spoke again. "But it can't be helped now, can it? We might as well be happy with what we have, regardless of the timing, I'm going to be a—"

"—There IS always the chance I really am just sick," Tonks suggested, shrugging. Andromeda nodded.

"We can easily find out, however, Is…is Remus nearby?" Andromeda asked. Tonks nodded.

"He was taking a nap upstairs last time I saw him."

Andromeda rolled her eyes. "It's one in the afternoon for Merlin's sake!"

"Indeed," Tonks said. "Every day I see him he gets less and less like how I first met him. REMUS!"

Tonks could hear the sound of feet on the ceiling above her head. She looked at Andromeda. "How do we find out here?"

"A little spell I learned a long time ago. I performed it on myself when I thought I was having you for the first time," Andromeda said. "It's harmless and it's completely accurate. You could use this the day you conceived and it would be completely correct!"

Tonks licked her lips nervously as she heard Remus' footsteps on the stairs. What would his reaction be? Would Andromeda's information calm him enough and help him see the positives like it did her? Andromeda gave Tonks a kiss on the forehead.

"It'll be alright, love," she whispered as Remus appeared in the kitchen window.

"What's happening? Is everything alright?" he asked He suddenly noted the look on Tonks' face. If it were possible to combine fear with pride, it was the look Tonks was wearing on her face right then. He'd never seen any look quite like it.

"We….we think we know why I've been so sick," Tonks said. She looked at Andromeda.

"Raise your arms," she instructed. Tonks obeyed.

"Andromeda, what's this all about?" Remus asked, apparently confused.

"We're about to see. _Infantis cherchum_!" Andromeda chanted. She drew a white circle with her wand around Tonks' abdomen. Remus raised an eyebrow. Tonks had her back to him, so she couldn't see how he was reacting. Nor was she completely sure she wanted to see.

After what seemed like full minutes but was probably only ten or twelve seconds, the ring turned a bright blue, hovered for another minute, and faded. Tonks put her arms down. Andromeda nodded.

"Clear as day," she said. She looked over Tonks' shoulder. "Judging from how quickly it turned blue and how bright it was, you're easily two months in, Nymphadora. Remus, you're going to be a father."

Tonks' eyes slammed shut as the world around her grew hazy. Was it a happy haze? Tonks felt an overwhelming sensation within her. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling. She was pregnant after all. There was a baby in there!

"Remus? Where are you--?" Andromeda suddenly cried out, bringing Tonks back to reality. She opened her eyes and whipped her head around.

Remus was already gone from the kitchen window.

* * *

Tonks didn't see Remus for the rest of the afternoon, nor at supper.

Nor did she care. She really didn't want to see him, not now. He'd just up and left her as soon as Andromeda said that Tonks was in fact carrying his child.

He came home sometime after dusk. The house was relatively quiet. Tonks had spent the afternoon up in the bedroom alternating between tears of rage and tears of sorrow. Why wouldn't he listen to her? Well, it's not like his ass-headedness was a new concept to her.

She could hear him coming in the front door. She buried her head in her pillow and listened for the voices…

"Andromeda, where is she?"

"Upstairs."

"What's wrong?"

"You know damn well what's wrong."

"We'll talk about it after the wedding. I need some rest."

"Better make yourself comfortable on the sofa."

"What?"

"She's locked the door. Wouldn't take supper either."

"Merlin…"

"God night, Remus."

"Andromeda—"

Tonks heard her mother's footsteps on the stairs, indicating she hadn't bothered to answer Remus again. She heard a faint knock on the door.

"Nymphadora? It's Mum," Andromeda whispered. "Don't worry, I told him you weren't intending to welcome him in tonight. He's on the sofa."

Tonks spent nearly a full minute contemplating letting her mother in.

"Please? I have toast and jam. You need to eat, especially now."

Tonks groaned and opened the door for her mother, who stepped inside with the tray. Andromeda frowned at her daughter's appearance. Tonks' hair was a dirty blonde (she intended to go lighter blonde for the wedding tomorrow). She wore flannel pajama pants and a very loose-fitting purple tee shirt. The bags under her eyes were conspicuous against her pale skin. She looked more like a drowsy university student rather than a pregnant full-grown witch. Andromeda set the tray aside and tsked.

"Nymphadora, if you don't want to go tomorrow—"

"—I'm going, Mum. And with Remus."

Andromeda knitted her eyebrows. "What?"

"Maybe if I pretend, at least for tomorrow, that it never happened, that he didn't actually….run from me…his mind will come back to sanity and we'll be able to talk it out in peace after the wedding," Tonks reasoned. Andromeda nodded in mock-understanding.

"I mean, it wasn't altogether unexpected, right? His reaction. It's just….he RAN!"

"I know, Nymphadora," Andromeda said, painting her face with a sympathetic smile sweet enough to give Tonks a cavity.

"I mean, he didn't even wait. If he ran before, then who's to say he won't do it again? Didn't he see the reason at least to let me explain, to let you say what you know?" Tonks growled under her breath. "He can be such a git. He doesn't think about anyone but himself. Didn't he think I'D react like this?"

"Nymphadora, sometimes people do things in the heat of a moment that they wouldn't normally do. Like when you go into battle. You don't like hurting people, but in the heat of a moment, if you had to kill a Death Eater before he killed you, would you hesitate and think for a minute what consequences would come of it?"

Tonks shook her head. Then again, being an Auror, she had a License to Kill (she, Kingsley, and Mad-Eye were the only ones with that advantage).

"Maybe it was another instinctual thing?" Andromeda suggested.

"Maybe…I'll let him get away with that excuse tonight. But it's his only second chance, and he needs to understand that. I'll forgive him that once," Tonks agreed.

Andromeda smiled and patted Tonks' shoulder. "Now, get some rest. You'll need to for tomorrow."

Little did she know how true that sentence would turn out to be.

* * *

It was as if a thousand things had happened in the course of a second, and now Tonks had no room left in her brain for audible speech.

The Weasley/Delacour wedding was beautifully executed. Much bigger and grander than the Lupin/Tonks affair. More people in attendance, for one. More food, a bigger ceremony as well. But Tonks wasn't jealous. She spent much of the occasion trying to avoid eye contact with her husband (they only danced once, and not with each other, Tonks was asked by Arthur and Remus danced once with Ginny). Harry Potter was supposed to be here, but he was in disguise. However, Tonks was not familiar enough with the Weasley family to know which redheaded cousin was The Chosen One.

Kingsley was absent, which made Tonks nervous. Kingsley had promised to make it unless he was direly needed at the Ministry, defending it. Tonks had volunteered to be on standby, but Kingsley shook off her help, saying a takeover was still at least a week off. Maybe there was a change in the winds?

Sure enough, Tonks got her answer in the form of Kingsley's lynx, informing the wedding party that the takeover had occurred, and was successful with the murder of Minister Scrimgeour. Most of the party ran. Harry, Hermione, and Ron had disappeared elsewhere. There were still quite a few people present, however. The Weasleys aside from Ron and Bill, who'd taken Fleur to safety at Shell Cottage (Remus did end up giving his old home to them, as he once suggested) were still there, and the Lovegoods were still present. Tonks had seen Viktor Krum from across the party, but he was gone now. Many Death Eaters (Tonks didn't see too many recognizable ones) were guarding the wedding party that remained, letting people go one at a time after a lengthy interrogation.

The prisoners were talking in hushed tones. Rowle, the leader of this band, the same man who'd nearly murdered Remus a few months ago, barked threats every which way. Any sounds of Apparition and someone 'would get blasted.' Tonks noticed with sympathy how Remus visibly shuddered when Rowle announced that.

Tonks sat on the grass leaning up against Remus' back for support. Ginny was sitting next to her, looking nervously around the field. Her parents and brothers weren't too far away. Ginny and Tonks tried to keep casual conversation going to keep their nerves settled. Remus didn't speak, which made Tonks even more nervous.

The Death Eaters chose who would be interrogated next but roughly grabbing the collar of whoever tickled their fancy. In the ten hours since they'd arrived, only handful of people were set free. Charlie Weasley was among those who were released.

At one point, Tonks was approached by George Weasley, the scar where he'd lost his ear over Little Whinging red and inflamed.

"We outnumber these gits fifteen-to-one. Why not try and stage a rebellion?"

Tonks smiled and sadly shook her head. George sulked and grunted when Ginny rolled her eyes. "It would be too dangerous. All it takes is one touch of any of their Marks, and You-Know-Who would be here to finish us all off," Tonks said. "Now's not a time to be brave."

George nodded with understanding and scurried off to rejoin his twin.

"Remus, I think we need to talk now," Tonks said once she was sure he was the only one within earshot. The night sky was at its darkest by this time.

"I don't think so," Remus replied.

"I do. Remus, I'm having a baby. Your baby, and nothing you do will change that. You can either accept it and look at the silver lining of the situation, or you can just go fuck yourself."

Remus was startled at her hard use of language. He turned around to face her. She scowled at him.

"Silver lining? What silver lining?" he asked. "I…I can't believe what I've done to you…"

Tonks, appalled by his reaction, was ready to scream out the loudest, longest obscenity imaginable, but instead, she felt herself being heaved to her feet by a pair of large, strong hands. Her arm felt like it was being pulled out of its socket. Apparently, it was time for another round of interrogations.

"Alright, lovely, you'll do…" said Antonin Dolohov in his distinctive dull voice.

Tonks knew her name was on the shit list with the Death Eaters via Bellatrix. She couldn't risk giving her real name.

Tonks took one look back at Remus' who looked half worried, half angry at her. But she could distinctively hear him yell 'get your hands off her!' above the sounds of her heavy breathing and mild struggles.

Tonks shoved over to where Arthur Weasley, Xenophilius Lovegood, and a few other less-recognizable faces stood, waiting to be released. Arthur gave Tonks an assuring look and bent down to whisper in her ear.

"Your name is Elena Goyle, and your father is Gregory Goyle's younger brother who works in the Department of Mysteries. You are pureblooded. You were born in Glasgow and were sorted into Slytherin House. They're common room is accessed through the dungeons under the Black Lake."

Tonks nodded without asking a question and began reciting the information over and over in her head. Dolohov suddenly grabbed Tonks and heaved her aside, placing his wand at the base of her neck.

"Name?"

"Elena Goyle."

Dolohov rose an eyebrow. "Blood status?"

"Pure."

"Goyle? As in, Gregory?"

Tonks took a deep breath. "His brother, my father, works in the Department of Mysteries."

She could see Remus out of the corner of her eye, staring at her with hope.

"Hogwarts House?"

"Slytherin."

"Naturally, being a Goyle. Where is the Slytherin common room?"

"Under the Black Lake, accessed through the dungeons."

"Are you affiliated with the Order of the Phoenix?"

Tonks swallowed. "The what?" was her answer, putting on her most confused look.

Dolohov seemed to nod in approval, and Tonks was shoved back with Arthur and the little group. Dolohov raised his wand and pointed away from The Burrow.

"Leave quickly, and don't bother running off to tattle. We control everything now."


	31. The Tale of Ariadne

Tonks couldn't risk using any form of wizarding transportation in getting home. She realized that she was pretty much Bellatrix Lestrange's Harry Potter, which meant that without the protection of her mother's house, she was screwed if she were seen in public. And now, with a baby on the way, she had to be careful not to attract ANY attention to herself. So before reaching the Muggle highway, where hopefully a bus stop rested within a mile radius or so, she made sure no one saw as she changed her hair from bright blonde to her natural mousy brown. She grew it out and straightened it. She then fiddled with her fingers, deciding to make her hair hang in front of her head somewhat. She looked every part of a lonely Muggle girl trying to get home from a party. She did carry her wand close to her body in case the worst happened.

Wandering down the gravel path that led her to the highway, Tonks looked behind her to see Arthur chasing her down. She was surprised. Arthur lived right there, he certainly did not have far to go to get home.

"Elena," Arthur said, cautiously looking around as if someone was listening. "You can stay with us until it's safe, or at least until Remus is released."

Tonks shook her head. "I can't. With a baby, I need to get home as soon as possible, and if one of them realizes….then I'd be a pile of dust left for Molly to sweep up without a warning. If I lay low, I can probably get a bus into the nearest Muggle town and find a way from there."

"Are you certain?" Arthur asked. Tonks nodded.

"I can defend myself. Are you…going back?" Tonks asked, looking back at the sheltered portion of the grass that was invisible thanks to the Death Eater's imprisoning shield. Arthur nodded.

"Molly and Ginny need me, especially, they'll let me back in," Arthur assured her. Tonks bit her lip.

"Tell Remus as soon as he's released, we're going to act like adults and sort everything out. I don't think I'll get much sleep, so he can just come in."

Arthur nodded, and without a word more, he turned and bravely headed back to where a Death Eater stood on the outside of the barrier as guard. Tonks quickly looked away and stumbled down the dirt road until she hit pavement.

There was no bus stop in sight. Tonks groaned. But she couldn't make a scene, for the baby's sake, and she decided to head south along the road until something (anything) popped up on the empty horizon other than hill and tree.

Tonks thought as she wandered, the moon rising (waxing crescent, the full moon wasn't too far off, and now Remus had no access to Wolfsbane now that Snape was out of the picture) was being covered over by clouds (deep, thick ones). She thought about the growing life inside of her and how everything from this point on affected them both. This meant she could not fight until after the birth (and when the hell would that be….March? April?). Nine months was a long time to go without coming to the aid of the Order. Hell, she'd been pregnant two months, and what had she done in that time? The Battle of Little Whinging was living proof that being pregnant did not mean you were incapable of being useful.

Then again, she hadn't KNOWN back then, so she might as well have not been pregnant.

Tonks' place in life was in the heat of battle, actively using her fighting skills to save lives. Now she was going to turn into her mother, always a stay-at-home mother, who never saw more action than what one could find in Diagon Alley during the holiday sales season.

She shuddered and continued to walk. She regretted wearing heels after about an hour, and eventually she just abandoned them by the side of the road and continued on bare feet (the soft grass didn't make this too much of a difficulty).

The rain began soon after, and came down in sheet. Tonks began feeling chills, which wasn't good for the baby. But still, she could not risk Apparation for two reasons. First, obviously the Death Eater Ministry, but now that she had another being with her, she could risk splicing the baby in half. Talk about disastrous!

Tonks opted to take shelter for the evening under a tree. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself and instantly regretted opting not to stay with Arthur. She could always head back, but the rain would make it take even longer than the two hours she'd already walked. It'd be near dawn then.

"Good afternoon, m'lady!"  
Tonks jumped to her feet and turned around, startled. Apparently she'd treaded on someone else's territory by sitting under the big willow she chose.

The man who'd just greeted Tonks bore an odd resemblance to Mad-Eye. Only he had an eye patch over the eye that would've been the crazy eye. But the hair, the scars and missing nose were dead ringers. He even had the missing leg, only instead of a wooden replacement, this strange man just had his tattered pant leg tied at the knee joint and used a cane for support.

Tonks couldn't believe her eyes. "MAD EYE!" she said happily, unable to believe he was alive after all.

"That's not a nice thing, calling strangers names, m'lady!" said the man. His voice was older than Mad-Eye's, and the accent was wrong. No, this wasn't Mad-Eye. Just an incredible simulation.

"Oh….sorry," Tonks said, blushing.

"It's okay, m'lady!" said the strange man. "You're a pretty little princess! You should be a movie star!"

Tonks didn't know what to say. This man was not in his right mind. And he was clearly a Muggle.

"Um, is there a bus stop around here somewhere?" Tonks asked. The man shook his head.

"Your chariot leave without you?" the madman asked. "Do you know Jesus?"

"Um, no," Tonks said, no idea why this man was speaking to her this way.

"Well, he's a good guy, just so you know," the man said. "Killed my wife, he did. And burned my house, told my sons to run away from me, and stole my eye and leg!" There was a sense of bitterness in his voice.

"That…that's awful," Tonks muttered.

"Another few kilometers down the road," the madman said, jerking the topic of conversation again.

"Excuse me?" Tonks asked.

"There's a town and a bus stop there. Not far," he said. "Maybe you'll find your chariot there, my fair Ariadne!"

"Ariadne?" Tonks mumbled inaudibly. "Who's he?"

"Oh, my lady! Ariadne was the daughter of a king too! The beautiful daughter of the King of Thebes! They were to feed her to a terrible monster that lived beneath her castle but the handsome Theseus went in ahead of her and slaughtered the beast and took her for his wife, but then he went and left her on this island all alone, just like you! Then, a god named Dionysus came down and made her a goddess! You'll find someone better, too!" the madman mumbled.

"Oh, I have a husband already, thank you," Tonks said nervously, wondering if a mad dash to that town in the rain was worth it just to get rid of this crazy guy.

"So did Ariadne!" the madman announced. "The man you're with now is clearly doubting his love for you. But there is a God waiting for you!"

"My husband married me knowing full well he loved me," Tonks said sternly. Well okay, maybe that wasn't the full truth, but this man wasn't exactly being truthful either.

"We'll see….oh, you're ride's coming, m'lady! I hear it now! Go! Go!" said the crazy tree man, shoving Tonks' back, forcing her out into the pouring rain again.

Tonks stood frozen for a moment, absorbing what had just happened and trying not to get dizzy over doing so. It had only been a few minutes, and she was kicked out of a tree by an insane Muggle man. How many of the trees around here housed mentally-ill old men?

Tonks wandered up to the side of the road, only to find the strange man had been accurate in his prediction of a vehicle coming. A red triple-decker bus came zooming down the highway. The Knight Bus. Tonks would know it from anywhere. She and one of her old Hogwarts roommates had used to during the summer after fifth year after getting lost in Glasgow. There must have been a point she stuck out her wand hand in the fashion of flagging it down and she didn't even realize it.

What to do now? Obviously, the Ministry controlled the routes of the Knight Bus, and there was no way Tonks could board safely. Especially because Harry had told her about Stan Shunpike and the Death Eater influences upon him.

But then again, she'd been able to use the false name to escape from The Burrow. And she looked almost nothing like herself. Could she risk it?

Tonks could hear a shout from behind her. "Board your chariot, Ariadne!" It was the crazy man. She quickly got on board when the bus stopped. So, the crazy man was a wizard after all. No, a Squib perhaps. If he weren't a wizard, then he'd at least have conjured better shelter than a tree.

Stan Shunpike was apparently in his normal post as the conductor. He took a look at Tonks and sniffed. "What choo name?"

"Elena. Elena Goyle."

"Oh yeah, I met you last year," Stan nodded staring at her up and down as she held her breath. What would happen if she didn't resemble the woman Stan had met? "Gained a bit o weight since then, I see."

Tonks rolled her eyes and breathed out at last, then she reached into the pocket of her dress. She pulled out twelve Knuts. Not exactly a lot to go on.

"Will this get me to Rowena's Way?" she asked. From there, she'd be able to walk home and be there within half an hour.

Stan studied the change and tsked. "Rates have gone up ten pe-cent since the new Ministry came in. Rowena's Way is worth a full Galleon nowadays."

"I only have this!" Tonks said. She looked around. The bus was empty except for her, Stan, and Ernie, the driver. Stan took the change from her and studied it, then, to Tonks' relief, pocketed it.

"Hope you don't except the 'ot chocolate, though," he muttered. Tonks nodded in gratitude and took a seat on a bed that faced the willow tree. The crazy old man was waving at her from the tree. Tonks shrunk lower, pretending he didn't exist. She new some insane people in her life, but that man, whoever he was, was downright sick.

"What choo Dad been up to?" Stan asked. Tonks stared at him.

"Oh, the usual, nothing new," she muttered, praying the ride wouldn't take too long.

* * *

Tonks finally made it home an hour before dawn. She found her father sitting by the fireplace in his robe, staring into the flames. Once Tonks opened the door, he shot to his feet and scooped her up into his arms.

"Dora! You're safe! Molly sent us a message!" Ted said. "'Dromeda, she's home!"

Tonks sighed and once Ted let her go, she turned herself back into her natural form.

"Not so fast!" Andromeda emerged from the kitchen, wand aimed at Tonks' chest. "Ted, you need to learn to be more careful, honestly! She could be anybody!"

Tonks rolled her eyes before her mother could even ask a safety question. "My name is Nymphadora Rhea Tonks-Lupin, currently two-months pregnant by Remus John Lupin—benevolent werewolf—whom I marred in a quiet civil ceremony about a month ago, ironic, seeing as he nearly killed me almost twenty years ago when our first house was torched by my cruel disowned aunt Bellatrix Les—oof!" Andromeda has scooped Tonks in her arms and was now hugging her so tightly, the oxygen was forced out of her lungs.

"Oh, I thought they'd shot you!" Andromeda sighed. "Thank Merlin you're safe! Now when Remus gets back—"

Tonks shoved herself away from her mother. Ted put an arm around his daughter. "'Dromeda, the baby needs to breathe too! I'm not the only one who needs to be more careful!"

"Wait, Mum, Remus isn't back yet?" Tonks said, looking confused. She suddenly realized that HE could have either been in the same situation she'd been in all night, or worse.

Andromeda shook her head. "Ted and I have both been up all night waiting. Arthur sent four Patronuses asking for word as soon as we found you. Remus must still be lost out there…"

"…or they could not have let him go yet!" Tonks interjected. Ted shook his head.

"The most recent Patronus Arthur sent said that everyone had been released. No one was killed, we're expecting him anytime now. Supposedly he was released not long after you were," he informed.

Tonks sighed and nodded, going to the window and taking a seat in the sill. "I'll wait for him," she decided. "Once he gets home, we need to talk anyway."

"Nymphadora, are you sure? You must be exhausted!" Andromeda said. Tonks shook her head and looked out at the darkness.

Morning came, then afternoon. Remus wasn't anywhere in sight. Tonks' eyelids were beginning to get heavy. She took a brief break from waiting to look in the full-length mirror in her room. She studied her body, then took off her dress and studied herself naked. Stan Shunpike wasn't kidding when he said that she'd gained weight. It was so soon in the pregnancy! How was it she was getting these curves already? Her breasts, which before were no bigger than a B cup were suddenly so…enormous! Her hips had gotten wider, and her thighs were thicker. She was starting to get hints of a belly too, but unlike the rest of her, the belly seemed to be the slowest thing to develop.

Great, she was going to be the size of a giant's version of a Quaffle by the time it came to give birth!

That was another though that crossed Tonks' mind when she began redressing herself (not wanting to dwell too long on the fact that she was going to get fat) was the birth itself. It was supposed to hurt a lot, wasn't it? Like, agonizingly? She remembered asking Andromeda that question when she'd gotten the sex talk from her at ten years old. Tonks laughed to herself, recalling how her friends had been calling it the 'Wands and Cauldrons' talk, yet Andromeda was different. She was blunt and wasn't afraid to use real anatomical lingo. Tonks had been petrified of boys for nearly a year after learning what they did to girls to make babies.

Andromeda had specifically said, "It's like a powerful witch shooting a Cruciatus Curse between your legs while someone turns up the temperature to a thousand degrees."

There was another fun thing to look forward too.

Once redressed, Tonks observed herself a little more in her deep wave of thought. Why couldn't Remus be happy with this? So much was going wrong in the world, yet one little thing goes right, and he turns it upside down. She knew deep down, he knew that a human cannot birth a werewolf, it was genetically and physically impossible. Andromeda made it clear that lycanthropy was an infliction, not a genetic component whatsoever.

Maybe once she grew a little more, Remus would soften up. He was great with children (she saw that especially when he was dancing with Ginny at the wedding). Having a child of his own would change so much about him, she knew it.

Speaking of which, which did she want? A boy or a girl? Tonks laughed to herself. She always pictured Remus having a little Daddy's girl to prance around with and play with, but Tonks herself secretly wanted a boy. A boy who'd admire all the 'cool, exciting things' she did as an Auror, and someday aspire to be like his old Mum.

Heading back downstairs, Tonks made a beeline for the window and longed to see Remus walking up the path to the house. But he didn't.

And he didn't the next day.

Or the next.

By the third day after Tonks arrived home, there was a pretty sure bet Remus wasn't returning. Tonks had shot Patronuses every day at Molly and Arthur, inquiring if they knew anything. They didn't. Once Molly sent her last Patronus that very morning, Tonks felt her heart permanently stop beating. She spent the entire afternoon up in her room pacing and crying, realizing that Remus purposefully never came home. Like before, where he'd disappeared for a whole afternoon without telling anyone where he went. Only now he might be gone for good. Tonks could not stand thinking about it, but at the same time she could not even stop thinking about it. It was Mind Torture.

She reflected back to the rainy night and the crazy old Squib who'd told her the Tale of Ariadne. How was it she was actually beginning to live that myth? Realizing that her Theseus had abandoned her made her break out into a fresh bout of tears. She wanted Theseus…err…Remus! She didn't want any God, she wanted the father of her child by her side more than anything!

At a quarter past seven that third night, Tonks opened the door for the first time in a whole day. Andromeda and Ted were both standing in the door. Ted looked like he was ready to go somewhere, and Andromeda held a hankie to her face. Her eyes were puffy and red. She held a newspaper in her free hand.

"What is it?" Tonks asked. _More drama to add to my life? As if my husband abandoning me wasn't dramatic enough…? _

Andromeda silently handed Tonks the issue of _The Evening Prophet_. The headline read **"All Muggleborns to Register With The New Ministry!" **

Tonks skimmed the article and felt her heart beat again, and pick up speed. She glanced occasionally at her father as she read about the new 'Ministry' requiring all Muggleborns to sign up and give their names to the Muggleborn Registration Commission. Tonks could sniff what this was, and it was undoubtedly no good.

Tonks felt a tear pass her eye as she finished the article and looked up at her parents. "So…Dad?"

Ted looked incredibly sad. "Yes, Dora, I'm leaving. I have to go in to hiding."

* * *

_**A/N: **The little moment Tonks had with the crazy Squib man was based on something that actually happened to two of ym friends and I whilst walking home from a movie. The crazy lady stopped us and started preaching to us left and right and was totally insane. We ended up catching the first bus that passed by just to get away from her, even though it was heading the opposite way from my friend's house. As you may have noticed, i stopped the reviewers' awards, because they've seemed to have been dwindling again a bit. You want rewards? REVIEW and TELL YOUR FRIENDS TO READ AND REVIEW!!_


	32. Mind Torture

"You're leaving?" Tonks asked. The three of them had moved to the den and were sitting in a circle around the coffee table.

Ted nodded. "I know it's a terrible time, Dora. Trust me, I would want nothing more than to be with you and the baby right now until Remus comes around, but if I stay here, and a Death Eater shows up one night, do you expect me to just GO with them?"

Andromeda nodded, but her eyes looked like they were screaming the opposite thing. "I'm sure this is just their way to shut Muggleborns up in Azkaban, or worse," she said. "You really do have a better chance—"

"—no he doesn't! Mum, how thick are you? We can put charms over the house, there's Polyjuice…" Tonks protested. "He can't leave!" She was extremely close to tears now.

"Charms only hold for so long. Plus a shield over the whole house would be a dead giveaway that we're hiding someone," Andromeda said calmly. Tonks wiped a tear out of her left eye, but it was quickly succeeded by two more. "Besides, you KNOW Bellatrix will have them come here looking for the man who turned me into a blood traitor."

"Where will you go? The Americas?" Tonks asked. Ted shook his head.

"I'll just….wander," he said, shrugging.

"And that's better than staying here?" Tonks asked furiously. Ted shook his head.

"I won't be alone, I have a few…friends…who will be traveling with me," he informed.

"Who?"

"I can't say. Safety, you know," Ted said. Tonks bit her lip.

"How can you possibly just go out there where it's so dangerous when I'm waiting here waiting for my husband to come back when he probably isn't coming back?? What is it with men and abandoning their families?!" Tonks cried. She got to her feet and turned away from her parents and stared into the fireplace.

"So that's what this is about?" Andromeda asked. "You're afraid he won't come back like Remus hasn't?"

Tonks was unresponsive. It was as if the empty, dark floo was hypnotizing her.

"Nymphadora, Remus and your father are two totally different people," Andromeda said. "What Remus has done to you…I don't know if I could ever forgive him. But your father and I have been married for twenty-four years! I know he will come back once the Ministry falls and it is all over."

"But what if it doesn't end?" Tonks said. "Or what if a group of Death Eaters find him and--?"

"It's true love. Nothing can stop it, even death," Ted said. Tonks turned to look at her father. She had always seen so much of Remus' sensible, wise nature in him. Why was it she suddenly saw her father in a better light than her own husband?

Ted stood up and took Tonks' hands in his. "Dora, I will be protected. I may not be an Auror like you, but I received eight N.E.W.Ts, so it's not like I can't defend myself when danger comes."

Tonks nodded. "I understand, but Mad Eye was the best Auror in his class, and Dumbledore was—"

Ted cut her off with an embrace. "I won't lie to you," he said from over her shoulder. "I am terrified of doing this. But think of what a danger I will be to you and your Mum if I stay here! What if they decide to torch the house again? Mad Eye won't be here this time to save you," he informed. Tonks cried into his shoulder. "And this time, we're talking about your baby. I would give my life for you and your child, even if his or her father won't."

Tonks separated herself from Ted. "He will come back," she said angrily. "He must."

"It's been three days, Nymphadora," Andromeda said. "I'm not so sure."

"He's alive and he's out there," Tonks said. "If you're implying he's dead, then keep trying, because Remus is as powerful as any Auror," she insisted. Ted looked at Andromeda. "And if you're thinking he just ditched me because of our child, then you still haven't hit the mark!"

"Then why isn't he here" Andromeda asked. Tonks thought a moment. She realized she couldn't come up with an answer other than death or abandonment. No news confirmed or denied either possibility, and both ideas stabbed Tonks right in the heart. Tonks fell back into her seat with a sob. Ted pated her shoulder.

"You and your Mum have proof of wizarding blood, so you two will be safe," Ted insisted. Tonks shook her head.

"Oh no," Tonks said. "I should come with you."

"Like hell!" Andromeda barked.

"Mum, Bellatrix wants me just as much as You-Know-Who wants Harry! She's out to get me, I saw it the night Mad-Eye died! I'm a danger to you too!"

Andromeda shook her head. "You have a baby to take care of. Going into hiding isn't good for it."

"The baby? It's suddenly all about the baby, is it?" Tonks shot up angrily. "What if I don't WANT to be pregnant anymore? Did you ever think of that? Considering this baby's father just left me and now MY father's leaving me, what if I really don't give a shit about this stupid baby inside me anymore?"

"You don't mean that," Andromeda said.

The sound of a car horn honked from outside. Ted stood up. "That's my taxi. I'm taking it to where I'm meeting my…friends," he informed his family. He went to the door, and Andromeda immediately followed him. Tonks stood up but didn't go beyond the coffee table.

"Take care of yourself, love," Andromeda whispered to her husband, wrapping her arms. Ted held her close, looking like he'd rather die than let go of her. Tonks had to look away. How come Remus never embraced her like that?

But they did let go of each other, and Ted turned to his daughter. "If I'm not back by the time the baby is born, tell Remus you must name him after his maternal grandfather if it's a boy!"

Tonks snorted back a small laugh and nodded. "I will," she promised. She wondered how Ted could possibly assume he was coming back for the birth?

The taxi horn honked again. Ted gestured for Andromeda to move away from the door. "Don't look out the windows, just in case. I love you both!" Andromeda stepped back to stand with Tonks. Ted quickly picked up the small bag, slung it over his shoulder, and went out the door, gently closing it behind him.

And with that, Ted Tonks was gone.

* * *

Tonks and Andromeda withdrew into themselves and their various activities after Ted's departure for the next month. Nothing much happened. Tonks' morning sickness finally ceased, but was overtaken by another sickness. She was sick of Remus Lupin and his undeniable fear of commitment and running from it without telling anyone where he was going. Her longing and ache for him disappeared as August waned into September and was subsequently replaced by anger. Andromeda supported her anger and began feeling some of her own over the matter.

"Cold feet over fatherhood is one thing, but running away from responsibility when only a month ago he vowed to never do that is another Quidditch pitch entirely. Honestly, if he's alive out there, he can stay out there!"

As a result, Tonks felt a truly strong bond with her mother for the first time in many years. To pass the time and keep their minds off the terrible outside world, the women bonded with each other over things such as Andromeda's gardening and Tonks' fondness for music. She was surprised to hear Andromeda didn't think of the Weird Sisters as 'noise' (like Remus had). Some of the few laughs they shared in between their times of worrying and anger came from their talks.

Andromeda still had _The Daily Prophet_ delivered by owl every day, and it was obviously taken over by the Ministry, seeing as so much dark press and news about Muggleborn roundups littered the front page every day. A whole section was devoted to 'WANTED' Muggleborns for the crime of 'stealing the secrets of magic.' Ted Tonks had been on the list for a fortnight straight with a price slightly higher than the usual, set at twenty-five Galleons on his head. Hermione Granger was one of the largest articles, and the price on her head was over a hundred Galleons (probably due to her association with Harry Potter). Despite this, Andromeda and Tonks longed to see his picture every day in the paper, because every day he was still there meant it was another day he was safe.

However, despite the bonding and giggling shared in a totally feminine household, Tonks was still torn apart every day by Remus' absence. There really was no way to tell whether he was alive or dead out there, whether he'd abandoned her and his unborn child or not. It was like before…waiting. Waiting was the worst kind of Mind Torture available. She couldn't stand it anymore. It was ripping her apart. She didn't know what to think anymore. The month from the wedding until this point, in addition to the pregnancy, had aged Tonks considerably. She didn't wear pink hair anymore. She generally kept it a reddish blonde now. It was more mature.

On September 2nd, Tonks and Andromeda received a surprise visit from Molly. They were in the den when Molly knocked on the door. Tonks held her wand up to the woman as a security measure. "Tell me about Fred!" was her question.

"Fred Gideon Weasley is my son, five minutes older than his brother George Fabian Weasley, both by my husband, Arthur Weasley, who is the second cousin-once-removed of Sirius Black and once had a Ford Anglica that could fly. Currently, that car is driving free-range around the Forbidden Forest outside Hogwarts thanks to…"

"…come on in, Molly," Tonks said, inviting Molly in. Molly took a look at Tonks and smiled.

"Lucky girl, you are, not showing yet. With Ronald and Ginevra I was showing by the end of my third month!" she recalled fondly.

Tonks nodded. "Well, I'm still early on," she mumbled, running her hand over her stomach, which was beginning to swell slightly.

"Andromeda, I haven't seen you in ages!" Molly said. Andromeda nodded.

"Would you like some tea?"

"Oh, that would be lovely, thank you," Molly said.

Tonks guided Molly into the den and sat her down on the sofa. "So, what brings you here?"

"A few things. I wanted to check in on you and how you're coping," Molly said. "About Ted and Remus being out there…"

Tonks raised an eyebrow. "I miss my Dad, but Remus….how do we even know he's alive?"

"Ronald sent me a Patronus a few nights ago. Said he'd seen Remus briefly from where he and…his friends are," Molly said. "I'm quite proud of him, of course, being able to produce one at his age—"

Tonks wasn't listening. Her blood was boiling over. So, he WAS alive. Tonks could not believe it. He really HAD ditched her. At least if he'd been shot down, he'd have an excuse for his absence.

"Tonks?" Molly asked. "You're redder than an apple," she remarked. "And…so is your hair!"

Tonks let out a deep breath and sighed. "Oh, sorry. What was that?"

"I was taking about how it was so hard actually sending Ginny off to school this year. The Platform was crowded more than usual, what with the new laws, and the guards on the platform gave Arthur ad I dirty looks. Many of the kids avoided Ginny, at least until Luna Lovegood smiled and waved to her. But it made me uneasy, and Arthur knows we're counting the weeks until we're driven into hiding," Molly explained. "Because of our affiliation with Harry, you know?"

Tonks nodded. "So, Remus is alive is he?"

Molly nodded. That was when Andromeda emerged from the kitchen with the tea tray.

"The bastard can stay wherever the hell he is, I really can't believe he would do this to us," Tonks said stubbornly, crossing her arms.

Molly smiled. "At least you still love him," she said. Tonks grunted.

"Not so sure about that," she said. Molly shook her head.

"No, I can see you're still in love with him," Molly said. Tonks raised her eyebrow again.

"Oh? How?"

"You said you couldn't believe what he did to 'us'!" Molly accused. "You think of the two of you as one."

"Molly, I haven't the faintest idea of what you're talking about," Tonks said.

"You don't think there have been times I just wanted to slap Arthur and beat him senseless? Times like this happen all the time during a marriage. The fact that you said 'us' and not 'me' says a lot about your devotion to him, Tonks."

"Molly, I think this is a little more severe than a common bedroom argument," Tonks said bitterly. Molly nodded.

"Fair enough," she said back. 'Granted, Arthur never actually made himself disappear like Remus has, but the man will come around. He needs time to realize that you're NOT being made an outcast by carrying his baby!"

Tonks felt a shiver run down her spine. She'd never thought of it that way before. She reflected back to when Remus confessed that he broke apart from her because he didn't want her to become another victim of his past.

"You…you think he left me because he thought me being pregnant by him would make me an outcast?" Tonks asked. She looked at her mother, who shrugged. Molly, however, nodded eagerly.

"He wouldn't run away for his own sake. It has nothing to do with his commitment to you. If I know him, he's doing this because he believes it's what' best for you, not him."

Tonks stared at her feet. Why hadn't she thought of that sooner?

Biting her lip, Tonks fought back the tears that were coming on. "But he should know better! We've had this argument before! About our relationship! How could he possibly regress so far?"

"The thing of it is, Nymphadora, before it was just the two of you concerned. Now, a whole new life comes into it. The one you and he made together. Unlike your relationship, the baby cannot just be broken up with and forgotten about. He didn't regress, he just let it sink in that the same scenario has come up again, in force!" Andromeda reasoned.

"Plus, all men are babies, you should be aware of that by now!" Molly said. Tonks barely smiled.

"Well, I certainly think he should have handled it better regardless. He should have sat down and expressed this to Nymphadora in person," Andromeda said. "He's smart enough to know that he's hurting people this way and words solve things quicker than action—"

"—except in wartime," Tonks finished before abruptly standing up and heading for the stairs. "Well Molly, thank you for stopping by. Be careful getting home." With that, she sped upstairs and slammed the door to her room. She just could not stand being a part of the conversation anymore.

* * *

That night, Tonks sat in her windowsill overlooking the night sky. She always loved the view from her window, when it was dark out, she could see the small cluster of lights that was Rowena's Way. She couldn't help but think of the men in her life and where they were now, both alive and dead.

She thought of Mad-Eye. What would he think of her right now, pregnant and hiding out in her mother's house when Harry Potter was out in the middle of the woods, fighting for his life while trying to figure out how to destroy Voldemort? Would he tell her to take care of the baby first and foremost, or tell her that one less Auror meant one more battle for someone else to fight for her?

She thought of her father. He was safe for now, but for how long? Who was with him, and how far away was he? Was he still in England? America? Asia? Did he think of her and miss her and her mother as much as they both missed him? Was he sleeping in a tent in the woods or hiding with a Muggle family on a farm or in a city? Was he fighting a Snatcher or a group of Snatchers at this very moment?

She thought of her husband. Was he in hiding, or was he just hiding from her? The full moon had been last night, was he incapacitated? Did he need someone to help care for him until he recovered and who was doing that? Did he think of how she and his future son (or daughter) were fairing, or even if they were still alive? Would he come around this time, or would the wedding over a month ago have been the last time she ever saw him? Did he think of her at all?

So many unanswered questions. Again, waiting, worrying, wondering. The three Ws that Tonks wanted none of ever again. She'd gone such a long time without being truly happy (nearly two months, since their honeymoon) and without a care in the world. Would she ever feel happy again?

Getting up from the window and looking at the mirror, Tonks realized that four a woman only beginning her second trimester, she was showing more than she anticipated. She suddenly had a great desire to take Remus' large, rough and hand place it on her stomach. If it were under any circumstances other than wartime, she knew his face would light right up, realizing that a part of him was in there. It was his legacy materializing. A legacy he never thought he'd be able to leave.

She wanted him to be there with her as she grew fatter and began craving pickles and ice cream. She wanted to see him grimace as she ate twice as much as he did at the dinner table. She wanted to see the look on Remus' face when they found out the sex of their baby. She wanted him there to hold her when her hormones began going crazy, and she wanted him at her bedside as she brought their firstborn into the world. It honestly wasn't too much for a pregnant mother to ask for.

Yet she wouldn't get it. She wasn't even allowed one of those beautiful moments. Tonks let the tears pour silently from her eyes as she sat in the window again, looking at towards Rowena's Way.

At the end of the stone path that led to the house, her eye caught hold of a shadowy figure, just standing there. His pants were baggy and his sweater was too loose for him. He seemed to be staring in her window at her. Tonks' heart stopped.

"REMUS?" she called out. "REMUS!" She quickly ran downstairs and ran out onto the stone path, not even bother to put on shoes.

She ran down to the end of the path, but nothing, and no one was there to meet her. If he was there, he'd fled. If she'd imagined him, then she was standing out in the middle of the road in the middle of the night, a cut on the bottom of her left food for nothing.

Either way, he was gone again. No surprise there.


	33. Diagon Alley

September faded in to October, and the Earth grew cooler and darker with each passing day. Tonks refused to change her hair color, but she stopped waiting by the window for Remus. She still clung to the hidden hope that he'd be sleeping on the porch one morning when she woke up, waiting to be allowed inside. But that ache only surfaced once in awhile. She'd gone nearly a whole year without seeing him last year. Now, the ache was replaced almost exclusively by fury. He'd made a vow to her not to run away. Did 'marriage' just mean fancy clothes and a party to him in the end?

Tonks noticed more severe changes in her mother as the months rolled on. Ted's picture was still up in the 'WANTED' section every day, which renewed her hope. But Tonks knew Andromeda secretly hoped to see his Patronus float in one of these days. But Tonks knew her father was being smart in not sending messages. Even if Patronuses could not be heard by anyone save for the recipient, a Death Eater could easily spot one and follow it to the destination.

Andromeda wasn't eating as much, and she was actually letting the house go a little bit. Nine days had gone by without her performing a Dusting Charm at one point (and that was a record). She didn't eat as much, and she spent a lot of her time just sitting by the window as Tonks once had. Tonks struggled to find things for her and her Mum to do to keep their minds off their respective significant others. The garden was already prepared for the first frost, due at any time now that October was beginning to wear off into November. They'd redecorated almost every room in the house that wasn't their bedrooms.

The evenings were worse. Andromeda and Tonks tuned into the national Wizarding radio stations hoping for any sign of any news of any form. The Death Eaters had clearly taken over most of the stations. On October 23rd, just as Andromeda went to turn on the radio to fiddle through it, an owl flew in the window and dropped a small piece of parchment in Tonks' lap. This surprised her. Other than the _Daily Prophet_ owls, she hadn't received an owl in months.

"What does it say?" Andromeda asked, getting out her wand to turn the radio on.

**"Nine thirty tonight, tune in. Password is "Hedwig.'"**

"That's incredibly dangerous to send by owl," Andromeda said, tsking. "Wonder who it is?"

"There isn't a name," Tonks said. "But it's already Nine thirty-four."

Andromeda tapped the radio with her wand. 'Hedwig," she said. The radio flipped on, and after a few moments of static, a familiar voice appeared.

_"If you're just tuning in, this is our very first Broadcast of Potterwatch, the program for supporters of Harry Potter. As you know, the Ministry controls every station, so for the rest of us, we have set up this program for those who still keep the faith. I'm your host, River, joined tonight by my co-host, Royal."_

_"Hello, River."_

"It's Kingsley!" Tonks said excitedly. A pirate radio program!

"Hush, love," Andromeda whispered, leaning in closer.

_"There have been several stories the Prophet refuses to publish, but we think are most worthy to be of note. In Warwickshire three nights ago, a half-blood wizard bravely sacrificed his life to save a Muggleborn couple and their two sons from the hands of Yaxley. Yaxley murdered Jason Stebbins while the family Apparated to safety in an unknown location. This broadcast tonight is dedicated to Stebbins' memory. Now, over to Royal for Potterwatch's Friends of Potter segment."_

"How awful!" Andromeda muttered. Tonks felt for the first time how sheltered she was from the war outside.

"_Thank you, River. Tonight, we regretfully have no news of Potter's progress on his mission, but we have new evidence that the Infltration of the Ministry of Magic nearly two months ago, was in fact Potter and his two friends Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley in an attempt to further their task. It is speculated what they came for was successfully stolen, however, nothing can be confirmed as of now. More news as these reports come forth. Wherever he is right now, I hope he knows he has a loyal army right behind him. We all have faith in him."_

_"Thank you, Royal. In other news, it was recently announced that Snatcher findings and murders are on the rise, the names of those killed have yet to be released. In addition, sales in Diagon Alley have dropped nearly fifty percent since the takeover thanks to high prices and the now necessary practice of producing a Wizarding ID card…if you do not have an ID card, it is well advised you either procure one or a false ID, as there are guards within the Leaky Cauldron that ask for them in order to gain access to Diagon Alley."_

Andromeda gave Tonks an odd look. "We really do needs some groceries. Rowena's Way has shut down most of its' stores," she said. Tonks nodded.

"I'll need to make a fake card, though," Tonks expressed. "Because of Bellatrix."

_"One final news alert tonight, the name of the Dark Lord, you know, the one that starts with a 'V' has been confirmed to have become taboo. Repeat, do NOT say You-Know-Who's name, as there are Death Eaters on guard all day and night waiting for a taboo alert. Saying His name will expose you if you are hiding, and if you are not, you'll still be at the mercy of the Ministry." _

_"Thank you, Royal. This is River saying we will be back on air soon, so keep turned in! Our next password will be Sirius…"_

And with that, the radio went to static. Tonks looked at Andromeda. "I guess I better get started on that false ID, then," she suggested. "I'm not letting you go to Diagon Alley alone."

"But if you're seen with me walking into the Leaky Cauldron, the fake ID will be no good. They'll assume you're my daughter. They know you can shape shift."

Tonks shook her head. "I'll go in first, then you follow about four or five minutes later," she said. "I can make it tonight and we can head to Diagon Alley tomorrow."

Andromeda nodded. "Alright. I think we both need to get out anyway."

* * *

The next morning, Tonks showed her mother the false identification she'd made. Her name was Ella Phelps, an American who had been transferred to England as a Healer. Andromeda approved with this and admired how realistic it looked.

"But Nymphadora, they'll have detectors for false IDs, won't they?" Andromeda suggested as they headed out into the street. They planned to Apparate from Rowena's Way.

"Of course they will. I didn't make a new card. I changed my old one so it's undetectable," she reasoned Andromeda held her breath. "Plus, I've been practicing my American accent!"

"I just hope you're absolutely sure you're covered," Andromeda said sighing out dramatically.

Diagon Alley was just as the two Tonks women had expected. Empty and quiet. Well, not completely empty. There was the odd witch or wizard daring to brave the street for their groceries. But compared to the crowded alley Tonks was so used to seeing, this was like standing in the middle of a desert. The eerie silence did not make Tonks feel too comfortable. It gave her a somewhat twisted feeling in her gut, and she was almost positive it wasn't the baby.

At one point, Tonks could have sworn she'd seen Narcissa Malfoy, her biological Aunt (but mentally, she was a nobody to her, just like Bellatrix), but before she could worn Andromeda, the woman who'd looked like Narcissa was out of sight, so it didn't matter anyway. Tonks knew it didn't really matter if Andromeda was seen. But because so many people associated Andromeda with her shape-shifting daughter, it would blow Tonks' cover, and undoubtedly she'd be handed over to Bellatrix, who'd see to it she met the same fate as Sirius. She wasn't really enjoying this 'outing.' It must have been the paranoia.

The only thing that kept Tonks from darting out of there as fast as she could was the possible (not likely, but still possible) event that she could spot Remus somewhere in here (maybe in Florish and Blotts?) but the outlook seemed even more gloomy the more Tonks observed the alley. A werewolf would not make himself visible in a public place such as this.

Andromeda had Tonks follow her closely as she walked around, buying up so much food, one would've assumed she was going to live in a rabbit hole for a year. Tonks observed with caution the guards standing on every corner, stopping people for identification and eyeing the passersby in between identity checks. It was not at all like the bright, optimistic world she'd known most of her life.

"Mum, I don't want to stay here much longer," Tonks muttered. Andromeda nodded with understanding.

"Just one more stop," she insisted. Andromeda wandered into Florish and Blotts with her packages, Tonks just wanted to stay outside. It was bad enough the world was dark and gloomy under this new regime. She wanted to be able to breathe fresh air before the Death Eaters took THAT away from her too…

"Please…my children!"

"Daddy! Leave him alone!"

Tonks was snapped out of her semi-conscious daze by the yelling of what appeared to be a man being subdued by a single Death Eater. Two little blonde girls hugged each other and cried, watching helplessly. No one witnessing the occurrence seemed to pity them aside from Tonks. She gripped her belly and suddenly thought of her own child and what would happen if it were she being tackled to the ground and her child watching helplessly.

"Andrew Hough, you are hereby under arrest for stealing the secrets of magic…"

A Muggleborn. Tonks bit her lip and looked frantically at the little girls, neither of them looking to be of Hogwarts age yet. She felt a tear come to her own eye. She'd blow her cover if she helped them. The man, Mr. Hough, was on the ground, the Death Eater quickly besting his victim.

"I have two daughters! Let me go!" Andrew Hough insisted.

"Daddy! Someone help him! PLEASE?" the older of the two little girls cried out. Many of the witnesses in the street quickly moved into shops to avoid being dragged into the spotlight. Tonks bit her lip. Why was nobody coming? They all outnumbered the guards in the alley, a quick rebellion and lives could be saved! It was a terrible sight to witness, and it brought so many emotions to the surface.

"Your blood traitor children will be fine," said the Death Eater. "Their mother is a half-blood, right?"

The man was fighting a losing battle as his children watched, crying. Tonks couldn't stand to watch anymore. So many families, including her own, were being ripped apart by the war and the new regime. No matter what happened to her, the fact that she had already waited this long to help these people would've made Mad Eye bow his head in shame at her. She took out her wand and quickly waved it at the Death Eater, careful not to miss.

"_Stupefy!" _Tonks hollered. The Death Eater fell back into a side alley, unconscious. Tonks ran to help the man up. The girls were still panicking, slow to realize the change of events. Several of the guard left their post and began running at the scene.

"Get them out," Tonks said quickly. "Apparate as far away as possible," she instructed. The man ran to grip his daughters' hands.

"Thank you!" he yelled over his shoulder as he and his children disappeared in a flash. Tonks looked around as several of the guards were charging at her now for defying authority. Andromeda emerged from the store to see what all the sudden chaos was about.

"Nymphadora!" Andromeda suddenly hollered from inside Florish and Blotts. It was undoubtedly a mistake, but her mother had exposed her identity. Tonks quickly Apparated directly into her house before any of the guards could catch her.

* * *

Arriving back home, Tonks was torn between passing out from exhaustion and quick thinking, and running to protect herself. The Death Eaters had means of tracking where's she'd gone off to within a matter of minutes of Apparating. From the way she thought of it, she had five minutes. Tonks quickly decided that trying to cover her ass was better than comforting it. She quickly ran outside and casted a Shield over the house (it probably wouldn't hold very long Tonks' mind was in five different places at once and therefore her Shield wasn't as strong as it could be). Once she casted a shield, she ran back inside. She could try and hide out in the cellar. Of course, they could just torch the house, and she'd go down with it. Still, it was her best hope. She didn't have an Invisibility Cloak.

As she ran for the door that led into the cellar, a green fire shot up from the fireplace. Tonks froze in place. They couldn't have tracked her down so quickly, could they have?

Andromeda emerged from the fireplace and quickly ran to her daughter, slapping her in the face.

"You stupid child!" she yelled. "They're swarming around the alley! They'll be here any minute!"

Tonks yelled right back. The stress was too much. "I couldn't! I couldn't just watch! They were going to—"

A loud pounding on the door sent both women into silence.

"Open up, its the Ministry!" Andromeda turned to her daughter. "Change your look, go hide in the basement and put an Inpenetrable Shield over you, but keep your wand ready in case they do find you. I'll do the best I can."

Tonks dutifully obeyed and dashed down the stairs. Andromeda slammed the door shut. Andromeda waved her wand. "_Accio robe_!" Her robe came flying down from her bedroom. Andromeda whipped it on and went to answer the door…

* * *

Meanwhile, downstairs, Tonks had given herself jet black, curly hair and crouched behind a large box of Yule decorations, putting a shield over the corner. She put her ear against the wall, hoping the conversation from just upstairs would carry. If she was given just a second of warning, she was going to use it to her advantage…

"Open up!"

"No need to yell." Tonks marveled at how clearly she could hear…and how calm Andromeda sounded.

"I'm with the Ministry, and we have reason to believe a criminal of the regime has Apparated into your home and is hiding out here."

"I've been upstairs all morning. I'm ill," Andromeda said.

"We declare the right to search your house for the wanted criminal!"

"Who, exactly? Potter?"

"No, a young woman with reddish hair helped a mudblood escape this morning and disappeared."

"He got away? The Muggleborn?"

"The Mudblood and his issue are gone without a trace."

Good, thought Tonks, at least if she was sent to Azkaban for life or executed on the spot, it wasn't completely in vain.

"Please don't use that word in front of me."

"Are you questionng the regime?"

"I'm TELLING you not to use that filthy word around me. I'm an old woman!"

"You don't look older than fifty."

"Regardless, as far as I know, no one is here."

"Then you won't mind if I do a complete search of the house in case the traitor is hiding in the basement?"

"We don't have a basement in my house, you ignorant moron!"

Tonks bit her lip. Now wasn't a good time to get a whiff of that Black blind fury that even Andromeda exhibited sometimes. She hoped her mother didn't get carried away.

"I must search this house and if you fail to let me, you will be arrested for the crime of failing to turn in a criminal of the regime!"

"You said this person was red-haired?"

"Reddish blonde."

"Female?"

"Yes."

"Oh, you damn idiot!" Andromeda said. It sounded like Andromeda sounded exasperated.

"What is it, woman?"

"I saw a woman run out of the bushes under my window dash off into the woods about ten minutes ago! I assumed it was just a local ruffian from Rowena's Way down the valley," Andromeda said.

"Rushed into the woods, you say?"

"You ignorant and poor excuse for a member of the regime, in all the time you've been interrogating an innocent old woman, she could've Apparated halfway to the Americas by now! You lost her!"

"Oh, well…"

"Get off my property!"

Then there was silence, then the sound of a slamming door. Tonks refused to budge from her spot. Andromeda didn't make a move to come get her. She assumed that she was making sure the coast was clear. Tonks rubbed her belly. "I think we got away with this one…sorry for the excitement!"

Suddenly, she felt a bump respond. Tonks gasped for breath and looked down. Yep, it was definitely a bump. Did….did the baby kick? She was only at the end of her fourth month, did babies kick within their mothers so soon?

"Fine, I'm sorry!" Tonks whispered angrily.

Andromeda's footsteps could be heard on the stairs. Tonks broke the shield and stood up. "They're gone," she informed. "I hope you nearly killing us taught you that your conscience be damned in wartime—"

"—Mum," Tonks said as she got to her feet.

"Yes, you did a good thing, but even though Remus is gone, you ending his child's life before it even began is a terrible way to bring him back around!"

"The…the baby just kicked," Tonks said in a haze.

"W…what?" Andromeda asked, her mood suddenly changed.

"The….baby kicked me," Tonks replied, just before fainting right into her mother's open arms, too tired to breath another conscious breath.


	34. A Christmas Eve Surprise

_"In other news tonight, we finally have confirmation that the incident in Diagon Alley on October 24__th__ was in fact the work of one of our stronger allies, Auror Nymphadora Lupin, after a whole month of looking into this story. A tale like this proves that even in the toughest of times, there is always reason to hope, and good people willing to risk their lives for others…"_

"Ugh, turn it off," Tonks moaned, picking a Christmas ornament out of its' box as best as she could with her ever-growing belly in the way.

"Why not? They're talking about how wonderful you are again. I would've thought you'd be delighted to hear they're still honoring you," Andromeda said casually.

"They called me Nymphadora Lupin again, Mum!" Tonks said. "I don't want myself being associated with….HIM. He hasn't come back in nearly five months, and as much as I still miss him, if he never intends to return, then damn him to hell and let me move on with my life!"

Andromeda was astounded. Throughout the season, Tonks was never as emotionally upset as Andromeda had initially anticipated with the leaving of her husband. She actually grew angrier with time. It was now December 24th, Christmas Eve, and the two women of the house were passing the evening decorating a small, sad looking pine tree that was set up in the corner near the window. Tonks was clearly pregnant now, and a little bigger than even she thought. Andromeda arranged for a Healer and a close friend of hers to visit the house once a month to give Tonks her monthly check up. Apparently, according to the standard nine-month rule, she was due on March 10th, Remus' birthday. However, the Healer advised that the way her child was developing, she wouldn't be surprised if the birth was April 10th. This upset Tonks. She thought she was getting big fairly quickly. To be told that she was progressing slightly slower than usual nearly made her lose it.

Luckily, they hadn't seen any more action since that day in Diagon Alley. The Death Eaters had lost the trail on their 'enemy of the regime' and Tonks was safe.

However much the longing for Remus dulled as the weather grew cooler, Tonks knew it would never die completely. The ache would always be there, whether he came out or not. Her eyes would always have that reflex to gape at the window whenever there was one. Even the anger was now beginning to die off. Now, Tonks was sick of emotion in general and weary of all the negative waves that were carried about by the wind.

"Mum?"

"Yes?"

"I….I don't think I meant that. If he came back, I think I'd let him in," Tonks mused. Andromeda raised an eyebrow.

"You can't be serious," she said. "Nymphadora, he's treated you like you're second best to himself and his cares all this time. A real man would treat you like nothing on earth could compare, even himself. I'm still not too keen on the idea that he's even coming back."

Tonks sighed. "You and Sirius are twin souls," she said.

"Beg pardon?"

Tonks walked over to the small tree sitting by the window and fiddles with the ornament hook before standing on her tip toes to hand it. "You can hold grudges forever, just like Sirius could. I guess 'forgiveness' isn't in the Black Family Dictionary."

Andromeda shook her head. "No. I suppose it isn't. Good thing you take after your father."

Tonks nodded and looked out the window. Would she really welcome him with open arms when he returned…if he returned?

"Well, I suppose if Remus did show up on our doorstep tonight, I'd let him in. I have no right to keep him away from his unborn child. But he needs to know how terrible he made me feel and what an asshole he was for doing this to me," Tonks muttered. "But forgiven or not, it doesn't really change what happened, does it?"  
"No, I don't suppose it does," Andromeda nodded.

"So what it comes down to is if the person is important enough to you. Is he worth taking the hit?"

"And is he?" Andromeda asked. "And consider carefully, Nymphadora, because he does have a habit of worrying about himself—"

"—on the contrary, Remus is very selfless," Tonks said. "He doesn't run away because he's afraid. He runs away because he thinks it's the best for me. He thinks I deserve better than him. He thinks…he thinks he's saving my life by leaving," she said.

"Well it's Christmas Eve," Andromeda muttered. "If he hasn't been home in five months, and he doesn't come home tonight, then I think we can say goodbye to any hopes we have left of seeing him again."

Tonks nodded. "I don't know," she said. She paused a moment. "Where do you suppose Dad is tonight?"

Andromeda heaved a loud sigh and stared out the window. "He's still in the paper, so he's out there. Maybe he's taken shelter with Aunt Katherine," Andromeda thought.

"The Muggle world? That's dangerous, the Death Eaters are really beginning to target Muggles," Tonks noted, recalling the majority of the stories on Potterwatch were about Muggle attacks.

"Not if they keep a low profile. Ted can very easily pass for a Muggle with no information about our world," Andromeda said.

"True," Tonks agreed after a moment. She looked out the window again before quickly ripping her eyes away. Outside it was snowing. Not just snowing, but it was the kind of flurry Tonks used to love best, with light, soft flakes that took full minutes to decide where they wanted to land. She would love going out to play with the other children who lived in or around Rowena's Way. As she grew up, she played less but still loved watching the newer generation frolic around the drifts. But no one was out tonight. There wouldn't be.

Tonks rubbed her belly and thought of her baby. How long would this new regime last? Would Harry Potter ever resurface to kill Volde…You-Know-Who? Tonks didn't want to bring her son or daughter into a world like this one. She'd rather die in order to ensure that he or she grew up in a happy society where no one was abused or beaten just by their blood status. She didn't want her child (or children, if the future allowed) to be on the run or hiding in fear of being shipped off to Azkaban for not being pure-blooded.

Ugh, she hated the tiresome habit of saying he/she. She really wanted to know a sex. Andromeda said when her Healer friend came in January, she could ask her to do a test to find out whether it was a son or daughter in her belly right now.

Tonks mused over names as she mindlessly continued decorating the Christmas tree with her mother. If it were a girl Tonks liked very simple names, like Meghan Rose, Julie Marie, and Jennifer Anne. Merlin forbid she name her daughter something complicated like her own mother had so generously done for her. For a son, Tonks had initial decided she'd take her Dad's advice, but now other names came to mind, like Ian Miguel, Joseph Mark, or even Harry James (she knew Harry would be embarrassed, but the name did flow nicely off the tongue).

"We're sleeping in tomorrow morning, right?" Andromeda asked hopefully. Tonks cracked a small smile.

"Of course, I'm not four," she said. Andromeda nodded.

"Hopefully Molly will drop by, or Bill," Andromeda said. "Haven't heard from them in awhile. I hope they're alright—"

Suddenly, as if on cue, there was a tapping noise at the door. Tonks and Andromeda simultaneously looked up.

"Who do you suppose?" Tonks asked. Andromeda shook her head.

"Probably a branch from the bush outside blowing in the breeze," Andromeda said.

"Sounded rather strong for a tree branch," Tonks said, getting her wand out, heading for the door.

She first looked out the tiny peephole. No one was directly at the door. "Who's there?"

No answer. Tonks shrugged and turned away from the door. "It must have been a branch after all," she said.

The door made the rapping sound again. Tonks rolled her eyes. "I'll cut that damn branch off if it's going to make this noise much longer!" She furiously went to the door and opened it, exposing herself to the bitter cold wind blowing right inside.

"Nymphadora, no—!" Andromeda shouted.

Tonks squinted her eyes. There was barely any means of seeing three feet in front of her, with the darkness and the snow and the wind all combined. But she sensed a presence. Someone was very nearby.

She got out her wand. _"Lumos,"_ she whispered. As the light beamed on from the tip of her wand, a silhouetted body came vaguely into view. It wasn't hooded and it made no move towards her. Tonks decided it was worth the risk to step out into the snow just a bit to get a better look.

"Get back inside, Dora, you'll die of cold."

Tonks couldn't believe her ears (nor her eyes). "D…Dad?"

The body stepped towards her. Tonks realized quickly that she was mistaken in her diagnosis as to who was paying them a visit. She blinked a few times and touched her stomach.

"Oh Merlin," she whispered.

"Who is it, Nymphadora?" Andromeda asked. Tonks, speechless, refused to answer her Mum.

"Remus John Lupin," Tonks breathed out, surprising how much LIKE her Mum she sounded. 'How kind of you to stop by." Her voice was cold an unwelcoming.

Remus slowly made his way through the shin-deep snow banks and up onto the porch. He glared at his wife, right in the face. His eyes traveled down her body, and once his gaze hit her baby bump, he seemed to stare longer than usual.

"Merlin," he muttered under his breath, as if he still didn't totally believe he was going to be a father.

What he did next startled Tonks. It wasn't something she was used to seeing Remus do. He stared another second or two at her swollen belly, then fell to his knees right in front of her. He took her free hand in his and kissed every finger on that hand. He hadn't said a spare word.

Then he let go of her hand and moved his hand up to her belly and seemed to caress it with great care. Tonks felt a shudder go up and down her spine. She knew she wanted to welcome him into her house, but she felt the Black Family stubbornness rise up in her and possess her mind.

"How dare you even think about touching me?" Tonks asked, while not moving away from Remus' touch. "You honestly expect me to welcome you in out of the cold when you've left me waiting and worrying for five months?"

Remus looked up at her. "I understand. I'll leave again if you want."

Tonks stared down at him past her nose. "Why are you taking such sudden interest in our baby? Are you out of food? Places to live? Figure you'd pluck up the courage and try to win back my mother and I?"

Remus silently stared back up at her and bit his lip, devouring every poisonous word she said.

"Because my Mother is very keen on me slamming this door in your face," Tonks said. "You're damn lucky she's not the one who answered."

"Damn lucky?" Remus asked. Tonks nodded and decided it was time to let the tears go. Who the bloody hell was she fooling anyway? She sank down into the snow and sobbed loudly. Remus held put his arms, and Tonks fell into them in a wreck.

"I hate you so much, Remus. How could you do this? Why? I hate you! I hate you!" Tonks sobbed into his shoulder. She broke free of his grip and scooped his face in her hands.

"I really hate you," she said again before kissing him deeper than she'd kissed him before.

* * *

Andromeda welcomed Remus into her home like she would Bellatrix or Narcissa, but that was to be expected. As a result, she'd yelled briefly at him then yelled at Tonks, then coldly gone upstairs to bed. Tonks and Remus stayed up and sat by the fire. Tonks, however, had Remus sit in her father's old chair while she lounged on the sofa. They made light, awkward conversation not unlike the conversation they'd made when they first met.

"So when did Ted leave?" Remus asked.

"Soon after you did," Tonks said. "We haven't heard from him. But he's still got thirty galleons on his head, so that's good news. He hasn't been caught."

Remus nodded. "The reason I came back was….two things. For awhile I was hovering in an around Grimmauld Place. But now that place has been uncovered thanks to Bellatrix, so I moved into the woods. I….I met your father somewhere outside Blackpool in late November."

Tonks perked up in hearing this. "H…how is he fairing?"

Remus nodded. 'Very well for a man on the run, actually. He's traveling with a few others, and they all seem to support each other very well. He asked if I'd been back, and I said 'no'"

"Did he tell you to come back?" Tonks asked. Remus shook his head.

"I actually traveled with him for a few days. But one night we sat, and he told me that you undoubtedly needed me more than he did. He said that I should cast my insecurities aside, that this baby was not a werewolf, and that I should be with you."

"How is it you'll listen you him before you listen to me?" Tonks asked. Remus bowed his head.

"It's ridiculous, I know that now," Remus said. "But he did help me come to my senses."

"Which would be a first," Tonks said, smiling mildly. Remus returned her smile.

"And I heard that report on Potterwatch, which also gave me a nod to head home," Remus said. "'Royal' spoke of a young woman who helped save a Muggleborn from being torn apart from his family and that there were suspicions that this young woman was Auror Nymphadora Lupin."

"TONKS-Lupin," Tonks corrected. Remus nodded.

"But it was something about how he called you Nymphadora Lupin, and how you saved a family from being ripped apart. I realized how incredibly…stupid…I was for doing what I did. I was being a coward, while you were risking your life for strangers—"

"—if you were there, Remus, you would've done what I did," Tonks said, recalling the horrific screams of the two little girls.

Remus sighed. "How can you be so sure I would?"

Tonks looked at her husband. "Because I know you better than you think I do," she said.

"Did you know I would come back?"

What a good question, thought Tonks. She finally nodded after nearly a minute. "I was angry for a while, but after a certain amount of time I gave up. But…something in the back of my head kept me drawn to the window. So, I think I did know somehow that you'd come back to me."

Remus stood up and took a seat again next to Tonks. "I'll understand if I have to sleep on the sofa for a year because of this—"

"—you won't," Tonks said. Remus looked somewhat surprised.

"I won't? How come?" he asked. Tonks took his hand in hers.

"Because forgiveness or not, it wouldn't change the fact that it happened. All that matters is how important you are to me. You…you are," Tonks said.

Remus smiled. "It's so good to be home," he said. "The baby? How is it?"

"Well, it's due on your birthday," Tonks said with a smile. "But the Healer said she wouldn't be surprised if it's a month overdue. We'll find out in two weeks what the sex is," she said. Remus smiled.

"It's not like me," Remus said.

"I hope it is," Tonks said, grinning (man, it felt good to genuinely smile). Remus rolled his eyes.

"I mean, it doesn't have lycanthropy?" he asked. Tonks shook her head.

"Mum told me how in her research, she found that a human mother giving birth to a werewolf child live is impossible," Tonks said. "A Healer comes to the house once a month for to give me a checkup, and she confirmed it. But—"

"—but what?" Remus asked, a hint of worry in his voice.

"She told me not to morph during my pregnancy, particularly in the first term. By that point I already had to save myself from those Death Eaters in Diagon Alley."

"What does that mean?" Remus asked. Tonks looked at her feet and took Remus' hand.

"It means odds are I mutated his or her genes in morphing myself. It's…actually going to be like me!" she said.

Remus let out a loud sigh. "Don't scare me like that!" he said, actually laughing lightly.

"Metamorphmagism only occurs when a gene in the mother is morphed enough to affect a gene in the child inside her, making it unstable, giving that child the power to change at will. My mother took Polyjuice once when she was pregnant with me so she could hide from her parents when she was eloping with my father!" Tonks said. Remus nodded and ran a finger along Tonks' arm.

"I'm home to stay this time," Remus assured Tonks.

"Oh?" Tonks asked. "How do I know for sure?" she asked. Remus bent over and kissed Tonks on the lips, again deeper and with more passion than ever before.

"Oh, alright then," Tonks said nodded. "I bet you're tired," she noted.

Remus nodded and leaned up against the back of the sofa. "I bet you are, too…"

* * *

On Christmas morning, Andromeda wandered downstairs around seven that morning in order to secretly place her gift for Tonks on top of the mantel. However, when she entered the den, her eyes caught sight of Remus lying on the sofa, his arms around Tonks, who was on top of him. Both were sleeping like babies.

Andromeda nodded and sighed quietly. "Well, if you say so, Nymphadora. If you say so…"


	35. Where The Heart Is

_**A/N: **__To inform my still-loyal readers, I have not abandoned you all, nor this fic. I hit a mild case of writer's-block and thusly decided to concentrate on school for a little while as my muse took a coffee-break. She's back, and so am I, but don't expect me to update every-third day like I used to. This fic is waning and running it's course, and it's left me exhausted! I've been working on it for six months straight! _

* * *

Having Remus back came with more than it's share of problems and readjustments, of course. The bonding that Tonks and Andromeda seemed to have spent the first half of Tonks' pregnancy building up began to break down. She spoke to Tonks in a more juvenile tone once again. And she eyed Remus like a hawk at all times, even though Remus kept assuring her that he was here with Tonks and the child to stay.

January was bitter cold and extremely snowy. Every day Remus and Tonks worried plenty for Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Where were they? How were they holding up? Were they any closer to destroying Voldemort? If they were, you wouldn't know it from the looks of the outside world. The Death Eater Ministry was no less powerful now that it had been after the coup. They hadn't heard from the Weasleys in a long time, either.

On January 21st, Andromeda's Healer friend came to the house to examine Tonks. Deeming it unsafe for Remus to be around when a somewhat-stranger was in the house, Tonks insisted he hide in the basement like she had when the Death Eaters came for her until the appointment was done.

For the better part on an hour, Remus just sat and waited in the basement, pondering everything that was happening around him. Tonks was getting very big in the belly. Pretty soon, he'd be a father. Something he'd never thought he'd be. He recalled one not-so-special day in Hogwarts where he, Padfoot, Prongs, and Wormtail all sat by the lake, watching the Giant Squid do backstrokes lazily in the water. Prongs finally was going out with Lily Evans, and he was musing over their future, if they had one. Sirius had cut in saying their firstborn had to be named after him and he had to be the godfather. Prongs had laughed, then turned to Remus, saying similarly that when Remus had his firstborn, he had to make him the godfather.

Well, that obviously wasn't going to happen. James Potter was dead, of course. But…but what about Harry?

Remus' thought was interrupted by the sound of Tonks' footsteps on the stairs. He stood up and watched as Tonks made her way downstairs. He snickered to himself. How was it that Tonks was…dare he say it…graceful? She floated down the stairs, clutching her stomach. She wasn't the awkward youth he'd met. She was a graceful, steady mother-to-be. He was proud to be her husband.

Tonks smiled. Remus sighed. "Well," he asked. "Is the baby healthy?"

Tonks nodded. "He's doing very well in there."

Remus stopped a moment to muse over that. His baby was healthy.

"Remus, it's a boy. We're having a son!" Tonks announced.

A son. The Lupin name was spanning another generation at the very least. How was this…possible?

Remus couldn't comprehend what it was he was feeling. He felt something twinge within his chest he'd never felt before. Tonks looked up at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Remus? Aren't you going to say anything?"

Remus shook his head. "Some moments are better left without words, Dora, my love," he whispered softly.

Tonks wondered briefly if perhaps Remus was having a stroke. Then she realized he was feeling pride. Perhaps for the first time in his whole life. He was proud, of who he was and what he had done to get there. No, not being a werewolf and getting bitten. He was proud of being a father and letting his heart rule his head for one moment and consenting to marry Tonks.

Tonks reached out for Remus' hand and gently knitted his fingers in hers. She then guided his hand over her belly until she settled on a spot just below her own navel.

"Feel that? The Healer said he has a very strong, regular heartbeat. That's where the heart is," Tonks said. She felt her own heart flutter as Remus glowed.

Remus recalled his own mother telling him how strong his heartbeat was and how study of a child he'd been before he was bitten. He was taking after his father already!

Tonks moved Remus' hand around in a circle gently until she felt a strong thump against her gut. Tonks uttered a small 'oof!'

"Are you hurt?" Remus asked.

Tonks shook her head again. "No. It was just him saying hello to his Dad!" Remus chuckled.

"Is he still due on March Tenth?"

Tonks shook her head. "The Healer said possibly late March now. She still isn't ruling out April."

April! Four months! "Isn't that longer than it's supposed to be for a woman?"

Tonks shrugged. "A month longer. It's unusual, but The Healer said it was probably stress on my part that was slowing development. Two weeks to a month is irregular, but not dangerous or anything. Just…rare."

Remus looked up at Tonks, his hand still on her belly, and bent down to kiss her with not passion, not caution, but true love.

"Nymphadora, get upstairs, you'll catch your death down here!"

Remus and Tonks quickly drew apart when they heard Andromeda's voice from the stairwell. Tonks blushed. She took Remus' hand and slowly followed her mother upstairs. The Healer was gone.

"Mum, we were having a moment, couldn't you have at least—"

"—Nymphadora, you're going to be a mother in three months' time. All this hanky-panky love will stop because that is no way for a Mum to behave around her son, am I correct?"

Tonks bit her lip. Andromeda continued. Remus tightened his grip of Tonks' hand.

"Let me warn you two now. Once this child is here, all this frisky-business is going to come to a screeching halt. There will be no more time for romance, as he will be taking up every spare waking moment of your day!"

Tonks nor Remus refused to speak.

"And let me tell you, it's bad enough I accepted YOU, Remus Lupin, back into my household after what you did, and we very well could've done fine without you! You have a long way to go before you learn what being a father is all about—"

"—oh Mother, SHUT UP!"

Remus was surprised to hear Tonks yell so forcefully at her mother. She ripped herself free of Remus' death grip on her hand and walked threateningly up to Andromeda. "Mum, are you really so cold? Honestly, I can't understand how you can be so thick sometimes!"

"Nymphadora!"

"Remus is here to stay. He's learned his lesson! We need him here with us. SO many families are being torn apart outside these cottage walls! Our own family took a hit when Dad left. But do you think he'd act like such a…a…"

"A what?"

"A _**BITCH**_!"

Andromeda went white as snow

"A cold, jealous, unfeeling BITCH around his son-in-law when at the same time his daughter's the happiest she's been since her honeymoon?"

Andromeda was silenced.

"Mum, I understand you're feeling so much in the way of fear for Dad, mistrust for Remus, and anticipation for me, but can't you just get a grip and realize you can't control everything?!"

Andromeda pouted and turned her gaze from Tonks to Remus. "I'd like to speak to you alone a moment. Nymphadora, go upstairs and wait for us in the kitchen."

"MUM--!"

"Dora, please," Remus said softly. Both Tonks and Andromeda looked surprise at Remus. Tonks sulked and trudged up the stairs. But instead of heading into the kitchen, she dashed over to the vent that led into the basement and kneeled down as best she could with her stomach in the way. She could hear the conversation fairly well, considering what she was given to work with.

"Mrs. Tonks—"

"—I know you think I hate you. I do hate you, but not for who you are. You are a kind, mild, sensible individual, and that fact that my daughter loves you doesn't hurt either. I trust her judgment. I hate you for what you did to Nymphadora, however."

"I understand."

"So you understand also that I am not very keen on trusting you again. Trust is easy to destroy but damn near impossible to rebuild."

"Yes."

"With that said, I…I suppose I should apologize too. I indeed have a hot head. Ted was usually the rope that held me steadfast to the ground. But until he returns, I guess I'm a little…"

"…Lost?"

Tonks could now only hear her mother's muffled sobs as she broke down. She bit her lip and got herself back onto her feet. After another moment, Andromeda and Remus emerged. Andromeda's eyes were puffy and red. Remus looked a little bemused, to say the least, but not unsympathetic.

Andromeda headed into the kitchen and quickly put on a kettle the Muggle way, the way Ted liked his tea every afternoon. Remus took Tonks' hand in his.

"I don't know about you, but I feel like a little nap is in order."

Tonks looked up the stairs and felt another bump hit the side of her abdomen. Her son was kicking her again from inside her. As she realized this was going to be happening a lot more, her back suddenly ached.

She decided to take Remus up on his offer. A nice, soft bed sounded pretty damn good about then.

* * *

As Tonks grew even larger, her third trimester a month underway by early February, she wasn't the only one experiencing large amounts of fatigue. Andromeda and Remus were both kept on their toes with her demands and needs. Some were very necessary demands, like exercise so the baby could be healthy. Andromeda and Tonks would huff and puff and try their best attempts at some of what Muggles called 'aerobics.' Other demands, however, were downright ridiculous. Remus still couldn't quite get over the night he was sent out in the snow in his robe to trek down to Rowena's Way to find one of the few stores left open after the coup in order to satisfy's Tonks' craving for both chocolate-chunk ice cream and dill pickles.

Before long, the baby was going to be too fat to be born the natural way, he thought.

As for the outside world and the war, Remus was still contributing as best as he could. He'd joined the news team of Potterwatch, and had already done a show from a secret location Tonks thought his voice sounded deep and sexy over airwaves.

Tonks herself, though she spent much of her time thinking about her impending motherhood, felt like a caged bird. She wanted to be out there in the thick of the action. She wanted to rescue more Muggleborn families and take down Bellatrix once and for all. But she'd be putting her own selfish longing to be a lively young Auror again before her child's life. Thus, she remained caged and decided to make the best of her cage. She and Andromeda decorated a corner of her bedroom and set up the crib, so at night, when the baby cried, his Mummy wouldn't have to go too far to feed him.

Despite the odd and nasty cravings and the occasional mood swing (his particular favorite being _'Remus, it's not fair that Accolon left Morgana for Guinevera on __**As the Wand Waves**__! What does Gwen have to offer that Morgana doesn't? And SHE'S a vampire! Oh, the world is full of prejudice, so tragic!'_), Remus found himself enjoying the time with Tonks preparing for the new arrival. Very much so, actually. He had to admit, all the excitement made him feel younger than he usually did.

February was a quick month to pass, and it did so completely uneventfully, other than the one time Remus was stopped by two Ministry officials and briefly interrogated on why he was buying so many pints of _Accio Raspberry! Ice Cream_. As for Andromeda, she allowed her heart to resettle with Reus being back in her and her daughter's life. It took a bit of adjustment, but it was worth it having the family together again. True happiness seemed just around the corner.

At least until the morning of March 2nd. A particularly cold morning, Tonks was the first one to rise. She felt the skin on her belly stretch ever so thin, she felt like her child was just going to rip out of her one of these days. He had little more room in there, so at least the kicking ceased. But to compensate, Tonks just felt so big and awkward, she needed help getting to her feet sometimes. But not this morning. She stood in front of a mirror brushing her teeth, when she heard the familiar tap of the owl who delivered The Daily Prophet to the house. She quickly went to the window, tipped the owl, ad took the paper. She spread it out on the small desk in the remaining corner that wasn't submerged in baby things and opened it to the usual section.

It was missing. The ad for the capture of Ted Tonks. Missing. For the first time in seven months. Gone. It wasn't needed in print anymore…

Remus woke up about twenty minutes later to find Tonks sprawled on her back on the floor, still passed out from the shock.

* * *

Arthur Weasley himself had stopped by that afternoon once Andromeda sent the Patronus that Ted's ad was missing. While it was nothing definite, the worry was clearly present, and in war, there was little room for hope and optimism. Remus never left Tonks' side, and Tonks never got off the sofa that day. Arthur sent Order sympathizers out for any news at all of Ted's whereabouts.

Arthur also confided in the family as they waited for news that he, Molly, and the rest of the Weasleys were going into hiding after Ginny got home for the Easter holiday in a few weeks. Their names were growing more and more mentioned in a negative light, and Molly openly preferred that she'd rather have Ginny not return to school rather than have her be dragged off the train like poor Luna Lovegood, who'd been taken hostage by Death Eaters at Christmastime.

"Where will you go?" asked Tonks, nervously rubbing her belly, her free hand intertwined with Remus'. She could hear the half-heartedness in her voice. Her father's life seemed slightly more important to her at the moment than the Weasley Family.

"It will be unsafe to say out loud," Arthur said. "Fred and George's friend Lee Jordan will be our Secret Keeper. The Ministry wants me, and they'll suspect Kingsley first, probably. Lee's consented. For extra security, we'll make an Unbreakable Vow beforehand with him making him promise to keep the secret."

"That's wise," Andromeda said.

"Andromeda, any news since I sat down?" Arthur asked.

Andromeda shook her head. "I sent messages to Hestia, Dedalus, Aberforth, and Kingsley to keep an eye out for anything. Kingsley is investigating and inquiring at the Ministry to see if there is any alternative reason why the article was taken out."

Remus kissed Tonks lightly on the forehead. "He'll be fine. When I saw him last fall, we were in the woods south of Blackpool, and it doesn't seem that area is within the firm grasp of the Death Eaters as of yet. If he's still lingering in that area, he's sure to be fine."

"Mum, you need to send a Patronus to him. It'll find him and tell him to come home!"

Andromeda shook her head. "If he's still alive, he's still in hiding. It's too risky."

"And if a Patronus' intended recipient isn't out there anyway, it will just keep wandering until someone does find it. What if it's a Ministry official?" Arthur added.

Tonks bit her lip and leaned back on the sofa. Arthur insisted he stay until any scrap of news was found. Molly was in contact later that afternoon, her little white squirrel informing them that Ginny was aware of the news that she would not be returning to Hogwarts after Easter and that she could not tell even her closest friends why. Arthur sighed.

"She's nervous, of course. About Ron," Arthur said.

Tonks nodded, understanding Molly in a different way than she ever did, now that they shared the common bond of motherhood.

Tonks had spent the better half of last year waiting and worrying for Remus. Now she was doing the same for her father. Yet, the sting of being unaware of a loved one's fate did not grow dull with time like a scrape. The pain in her chest was still so sharp it made it hard to breathe. Any little noise that broke the half-hour silence that followed was greeted with four sharply-turned heads, thinking for a fraction of a second that it was a Patronus floating in the window. But it wasn't. The first noise was a pencil rolling off the table. The second was a bird outside screeching after a mean-spirited Blue Jay stole it's seed.

Finally, a white glowing form knocked at the closed window around supper time (Andromeda had made no move to put so much as a kettle on, let alone prepare any kind of meal). It was Kingsley's lynx, pawing at the glass. Tonks looked at Remus and got up to let in the Patronus. It flew in and landed on the coffee table, speaking with Kingsley's voice.

_"Snatchers found Ted's group three days ago. All three dead. Many Sympathies." _

Tonks, surprisingly, wasn't the first to faint. This time that grim honor went to Andromeda, who fell onto the sofa beside her daughter in a float of dry sobs.


	36. Breaking Dawn: Part I

It was almost as if the next three weeks were spent in a roles-reversal therapy session, at least as far as the parents-to-be were concerned. Tonks spent the following weeks since her beloved father's death on either the sofa or the bed, refusing to eat more than half of what she should have been eating for her and the baby. She was quiet, her hair was brown, and her mood was stable, yet consistently very low. Remus, on the other hand, had almost seemed to gain back a little bit of his younger appearance a she tried to keep his wife's spirit up so, at the very least, she wouldn't starve the child to death. But, Remus was surprised to find that keeping optimistic actually helped him feel better. He really felt a little guilty himself, because he'd never really bothered to get close to his father-in-law. But Remus made his peace in taking care of Tonks in her depressive state with Ted. It was as if Remus was promising Ted that he would always be there now, to take care of his only child.

However, Andromeda was in somewhat of a worse state than Tonks. Remus could now see where Tonks got her moods from. Andromeda was downright inconsolable, and over that first fortnight as a widow, she lived off tea and bread, made only after Remus went upstairs with Tonks to bed.

There was no body, so, like with Sirius, there was only a very small memorial service. It had to be held in the utmost secret, but the Order still wanted to pay their respects to the fallen. So Bill and Fleur Weasley came by to pay their last respects around ten the first Saturday. Then, just before they left, they sent a signal to Kingsley, who stopped by for an hour, then he in turn sent a signal to Molly and Arthur, who stopped by with Fred. Tonks had never seen Fred so solemn and serious before. It was rather awkward. No more than six people dared to gather in the house at the same time, however. Andromeda then spend a few days setting up a small, yet elaborate stone memorial in the garden, now no longer covered in snow to her dead husband. Hopefully his spirit, wherever and whenever it was, was at peace.

The funeral was the last time Remus, Tonks, and Andromeda saw the Weasleys before Ginny came home on the train for Easter break. They took her off swiftly and went into their hiding place, wherever it was. Lee Jordan sent his Patronus (a crow) to everyone in the Order assuring everyone that the Weasleys were safe and out of harm's way, and he assured the surviving Order members that while he wasn't an official member of the Order of the Phoenix, he was one to be trusted. Remus felt like he could trust Lee Jordan. He seemed must more sincere in his mannerisms than Wormtail ever had.

Finally, on April 3rd, Remus decided to try and snap Tonks out of her depression. It was remarkable how much she'd changed the past year. Not that he blamed her, from getting pregnant and married to losing her mentor and her father, to going half a year not knowing where her husband was, Tonks had a right to be moody. But she'd gone nearly two days without eating and drinking more than a few glasses of milk and a few biscuits. So Remus had strived to whip out the heavy artillery. A weapon so deadly, even a pregnant woman in mourning couldn't resist it.

Take out.

He had to travel all the way to Muggle London in the utmost of secrecy in order to get it, but he got it, and he brought it home, warmed it up, and brought it on a tray upstairs. Tonks was sitting in front of her mirror, combing out her long brown locks. The bag under her eyes stood out against her abnormally pale skin. It was now spring, she needed sun. Her belly was so big, she now had to adjust her posture so that she leaned back enough to allow her abdomen room at the desk. Technically, as of tonight, she was almost a month overdue, but the Healer said she wouldn't be seeing labor for at least another week.

"Love, I brought you some special supper," Remus whispered tenderly. Tonks turned around, glared at the paper sack with Korean lettering, and smiled half-heartedly.

"I get it. I need to eat more," Tonks nodded.

Remus nodded. "Our baby needs to eat," he added. "And…I figured this would help me get to talk to you."

"What about?" Tonks was only looking at Remus through his reflection in the mirror. Her skin was somewhat paler than usual today. Remus bit his lip and thought cautiously about what he was to say next.

Remus sighed and set down the tray and bag. "Anything. Everything. Anything you want to say out loud," he said. "The house isn't as much a home when you lock yourself inside your head like this."

"My father is dead, just because you and your father never had that relationship doesn't mean you can't expect me to get up after a few days and feel all better."

"I don't expect that of you," Remus said.

"He will never know that he's going to have a grandson soon, and he will never know who his grandson will be," Tonks muttered solemnly. Remus wanted to walk up to where she was sitting and put a comforting hand on her shoulder, but Tonks didn't appear to be one who would appreciate a gesture like that at the present moment.

"That's a very terrible thought, Dora. Most women in your position are thrilled about the impending arrival—"

"—yeah? Well, most women don't give birth within the same month they lose the most important man in their life!" Tonks cried out. "Leave me alone!"

Remus only stumbled a moment over the words. _Most important man_…did Tonks only consider Remus second to her deceased father? Not that he could completely blame her for what she was saying. Her mind was stretched thirty different ways all at once.

"I'm not leaving until you eat something," Remus said stubbornly. "Even for a woman nine months pregnant, you're acting strangely."

"You really think so?" Tonks asked, spinning around slowly in her seat.

"Honestly, I think we're both acting out of our normal personalities. I find it…strange that I'm become more of an optimist while you're the moping one. It's not supposed to be like this."

"I don't think it's so unnatural," Tonks whispered. "Mum once said that in a good marriage, you begin to become your spouse."

"Then I guess we're doing great then, aren't we?" Remus shrugged. Tonks nodded and made a move to get to her feet. Remus immediately grabbed her hand.

"Oh dammit, Remus! I can't wait until this thing is on the other side…"

"You're not alone," grunted Remus as his and Tonks' joint efforts paid off. Tonks groaned as she finally got up on her swollen feet.

"Then I can finally get back to work, too," Tonks said. Remus rose a hairy eyebrow.

"Like hell."

"REMUS!!" Tonks suddenly shrieked (good Merlin, another mood swing). "What does that mean?"

Remus took a step towards the door in defense. "Dora, exactly how soon after the birth do you think you're going back to work?"

"Four to six weeks," Tonks said quickly. "Two months at the most. Is that so much to ask?"

"Yes," Remus replied. "Who'll stay with our son?"

"Mum," Tonks answered. "If you think you're going to try and make me be a stay-at-home wife, you know I can't."

"Why not?"

"Well, how often do YOU go to work? Hmm? Tell me, Remus Lupin, what kind of hours does YOUR boss give you?"

Remus was silent. She had a legitimate point, after all.

"SOMEONE has to be the breadwinner for this family. If anything else, YOU should be the stay-at-home parent!" Tonks said, pointing an angry finger.

The room went silent as Tonks had to catch her breath. She saw the hurt look on Remus' face. "Remus, you need to understand what I'm going through. So much is going on around me, and I haven't been able to stop it or help it or whatever! I've been a…a spectator at the show, when I'm used to being in the show. I just….wait and worry. I've done that way too much since I met you. It still hurts so much to wait and worry."

Remus nodded. Now he knew how Tonks used to feel after she began spouting off sharp words she never really meant.

"You're right," he finally said silently. "I wasn't thinking, and I am sorry."

Tonks' breath went shallow. Her eyes went wide. Her look changed drastically over the next three seconds. Remus nearly laughed. She looked stunned.

"What, is it that shocking that a husband admits defeat?"

Tonks didn't say a word.

"Dora?"

"Oh shit," Tonks muttered, looking down at the carpet between her legs. It was damp. Remus followed Tonks' gaze to the floor, and suddenly he realized why she'd gone silent. She grabbed her belly and gasped for a breath. "R…Remus, save that take out for later. I…I really don't feel like eating right now."

"Dora—" Remus said, biting his lip.

"—because I feel like having a baby."

* * *

Remus immediately called Andromeda up to the bedroom, and Andromeda called for the Healer immediately. The Healer said she was tied up at the moment and wouldn't be able to come until the evening. Until then, Tonks could still do anything she wanted to in order to help relieve the pain. Tonks did not feel contractions very strongly, and they didn't bother her too much. Plus, the contractions only were coming at twelve minutes apart, so for the afternoon, she and Remus walked around outside, in front of the house. It was a relatively cool afternoon, so Tonks wore a sweater and scarf. Remus refused to let go of her hand.

"So, ready to go inside yet and lie down?" Remus asked. Tonks shook her head.

"No, they're still somewhat bearable," Tonks said, slightly lying. The last one she endured had forced her to stop in her tracks. It'd made her feel the urge to stop moving until it passed. But Tonks wanted to enjoy the last of this beautiful evening while it last. There wasn't a cloud in the periwinkle sky.

"Dora, we're having a baby tonight," Remus whispered. Dora smiled and gently ran her hand over her stomach.

"I know."

"Are you nervous?" Remus asked. Tonks looked up at the sky and smiled. Her hair went baby-powder pink.

"I was about to ask you the very same thing, Remus," Tonks said. Remus chuckled.

"I'm not the one about to give birth so—"

"—you know what I mean," Tonks said. "Don't be silly."

Remus sighed. "Yes."

"I don't doubt you'll be an incredible father, Remus," Tonks said. "It will be quite a ride, that's for certain. But we'll go through it together."

"Yes," Remus muttered, nodding.

"But it will be so much fun, too!" Tonks said pensively. "We'll be completely responsible for who he becomes. Think about who he could be! We could be the parents of the next big Quidditch star, like Viktor Krum, or he could be the next Albus Dumbledore. And we'll raise him in our own house."

"Our own house?" Remus asked.

Tonks grinned and squeezed his hand. "Mum won't like it, of course, but getting our own home, finally really starting our life together, with you and I and our little boy Teddy—"

"—Teddy?"

"Teddy. Dad made me promise if he never came home, we'd name our child after him," Tonks said. Remus thought a moment and nodded.

Remus was astounded to see Tonks so peaceful, despite the fact that she was probably in for a long, painful, agonizing night. Then again, he felt an odd sense of serenity, even though so much was happening with the world around them. Harry Potter had nearly been killed in the past month. He and Ron and Hermione had been taken captive by the Malfoy family, and narrowly made their escape. The news had Tonks nearly biting her nails off.

"It sounds right," Remus said. "Theodore Remus Lupin…"

"Remus as his middle name? Why?" Tonks asked.

"Why not?" Remus asked back. Tonks smiled and nodded.

"Ted Remus Lupin it is, then," she confirmed. She paused a moment, as if she really wanted to make sure she wanted to say what she was about to say. "Remus?"

"Yes, love?"

"Would you ever consider….trying to have a daughter?"  
"Dora!" Remus said. "You can't be serious! Let's concentrate on this one first!"

Tonks giggled. "I meant a few years down the road."

Remus thought serenely for a moment. "Yes." He said. Tonks beamed. He sounded sincere in his answer as well as agreeable.

Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain like nothing she'd experienced before shoot up inside her. Tonks groaned and doubled over. Remus had to catch her to keep her from falling to the ground.

"That's it," Remus said. "We're taking you into the house and you need to lie on a bed."

"Ugh!" Tonks cried. "THIS hurts!"

Remus nearly killed himself using up every ounce of strength he had in order to get his wife back to the safety of the house. Andromeda was waiting, and she helped get Tonks up into bed. The sun was just setting.

"Hopefully by the time we see the sun again, YOUR son will be there to see it with you," Andromeda noted to Remus.

* * *

The night brought a rowdy round of thunderstorms with it. It seemed as if nature was reflecting the growing pain Tonks was enduring. It was as if someone was tearing at her innards with their claws and teeth. Each pain took her further and further into insanity. She began screaming with every contraction sometime after eleven that evening. The Healer even seemed to be concerned. Tonks was getting frantic, fast.

"Should she be in THIS much pain?" Remus asked, gripping Tonks' hand as she grunted her way through a hard pain.  
"Not with how late she is. Not with how slow she started off. When was her first contraction?" the Healer asked.

Remus went over the times in his head. He'd gotten back with the take out food from London about two that afternoon….

"Two fifteen, or thereabout," he answered. The Healer nodded.

Andromeda went to the head of the bed and put a fragile hand over Tonks' forehead. Her hand was cool and soothing against her hot, sweaty forehead.

"She's feverish," Andromeda said quickly. "Should she be?"

"No," the Healer said rather quickly. "Not exactly. It might just be the stress catching up to her, though. We need to let her be for the time. Let nature do what it sees fit."

"WHAT?!" Tonks suddenly yelped from the bed. She leapt up from her position lying down, Remus had to hold her back so she didn't fly at the Healer. "Let nature do it's thing?! I'm HURTING and I would really like some DRUGS!"

"Nymphadora, please!" Andromeda hissed. "Don't talk to her that way."

"It's too late for drugs, Mrs. Lupin," the Healer said in a much kinder tone. Her face said loudly and clearly_, I feel really sorry for you_.

"Too late? WHY?!" Tonks barked rudely. Remus remarked as how she seemed almost werewolfish. A loud clap of thunder roared outside the window (open regardless of the rain at Tonks' request).

"You're halfway dilated. You may be feverish and in loafs of pain, but some women do have worse first experiences than others. Your mother had a tough time with you, she was telling me, so it could just run in the family…" the Healer said.

Tonks gritted her teeth and turned to Remus. "YOU…"

"Me?" Remus asked.

Tonks' hair was as red as Molly Weasley's, and her bloodshot eyes from being awake and in labor at midnight nearly matched exactly. "Don't ever think you'll get me naked again as long as you live, Remus John—"

"—fair enough," Remus said quickly, half embarrassed and half afraid for his life.

Another two hours went by, and Tonks moved beyond the anger phase, now she was on the verge of tears and absolutely exhausted. Remus remarked to the Healer privately on how quickly her attitude was changing.

"What do you expect, her hormones are having the worst rave inside her body since she went through puberty!" she'd replied.

"Isn't there SOME magic way you could take away the pain?" Tonks called from the bed, where Andromeda sat with her, calming her down to little avail.

The Healer shook her head. "No spells. At this stage, any spell, even a benevolent spell, could hit the child and cause damage to it's body," she said. 'An infant's body is very sensitive to any kind of spell cast on or around it."

Tonks groaned loudly from the bed. "How much longer?"

"I really can't say at this point in time. Your progress is slower than average but not altogether uncommon, so it could be anytime between now and dawn," the Healer answered, the agitation beginning to become evident in her voice.

Remus looked at the clock. It was only one nineteen in the morning. Dawn was still a long, long way to go…


	37. Breaking Dawn: Part II

_**A/N**_**:** _I know how long it's been since I updated last. I am extremely sorry for the long delay, but my life has been so damn busy. I pray my loyal fans who are left accept this as a Christmas/Yule/Hannukah gift with my apologies. I have had a very stressful semester, and hopefully, seeing as this fic has less than five chapters left to go on it, I'll be able to take advantage of J-term to finish this off! Enjoy, and thanks again to my loyal fans who have waited patiently for this!_

_Oh, and before I forget, let me say that I have recently been asked by roxysnape if she could be allowed to translate this fic into Spanish. I obliged, and now my fic can be enjoyed in Spanish as well as English! So if you're more comfortable with that, go to her account. I think she's still a decent number of chapters behind this one, but she does have my permission to post it, and I am just giving her a shout-out here and now. Thanks, roxysnape!_

* * *

The wee hours of the morning wore on, and Tonks' labor pains grew worse and worse until she couldn't stand it anymore. Sweat rolled down her forehead like a waterfall. Her hair was about the most intense color of vivid orange Remus had ever seen. Andromeda had gone around opening all the windows in the room in order to keep it cool. Remus was freezing, but Tonks didn't seem cool or comfortable enough. At about three in the morning, the Healer ordered that Remus be sent out of the room until the birth occurred. She said there was the possibility for infection if anyone else was in the room besides she and Tonks because they were not in a hospital.

He did not agree to this without a fight.

"Miss, please, she's my wife. Why can't I stay and watch my son being born?" he insisted, rather forcefully.

"It could be dangerous. When it comes, I'll cast a quick Sterilizing Charm over him, and you'll be able to come back, but—"

"—I want to stay with her!"

"Sir, it could endanger your child's life—"

"—Miss, this is the nineties! Surely you can—"

"—just go, Remus."

That was probably the last thing Remus ever expected to hear Tonks say to his face. "I'll be fine," she muttered. "Hopefully it won't be too much longer," she moaned softly.

Remus looked at her face, which was red as an apple, and nodded subtly. He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"I'll be right outside the door. Scream if you need me," he whispered tenderly in her ear.

"Just think, two years ago we were barely together…now we're starting a family tonight," Tonks said.

That nearly sent him into a fit of tears. True, it had been two short years ago around this time that he and Tonks had only just begun to date. Time flew, but at the same time, looking back, it was almost as if their first meeting was three decades ago.

"Remember how we first met?" Tonks asked. Remus smiled and gripped her hand.

"How could I forget? You were talking to a mirror, wondering if you were going to be let into the Order at all."

"I'm awfully glad I did, Remus," Tonks replied. Remus kissed her again. Then the Healer shoved him out of the room rather roughly. Remus made a mental note to hex her if he ever met her on the street after this. Andromeda was already out in the hall, leaning against the wall.

They didn't speak. Andromeda kept very still as the next two hours passed, while Remus went from pacing the hall every time he heard Tonks scream, to sitting in the corner, his face in his hands, wondering exactly how long this was supposed to take.

He took a long look at Andromeda and it made him rather curious. If anything, Andromeda looked absolutely thrilled about her grandson's grand entrance happening tonight. The look on her face looked frightfully similar to Tonks' face on their wedding day last year. She did not look tired, but the wrinkles that were there were wrinkles of experience. She HAD endured a rough year thus far. He could only imagine the emotions that were going through her that moment. Such a joyous, exciting night, but had she always imagined this night coming with her waiting with Ted? How alone did she feel?

At one point, while Remus paced, he took a misstep and nearly knocked over a small stand with four framed photos on it (perhaps some of Tonks was rubbing off in him? God forbid their son was as awkward as either of them were).

Andromeda had caught the one picture that fell off the stand before it fell smashing to the ground.

"Sorry," Remus quickly muttered.

"I don't blame you at all," Andromeda said. She looked at the photo, then her eyes darted back to her son in law. This happened a few times before she gestured for him to come look at the picture.

The Tonks family were at the Burrow. The photograph was in black and white. Ted and Andromeda were a very beautiful couple, holding each other, despite the burn scars on Andromeda' cheek and Ted' ruffled hair and tattered flannel shirt. Tonks was running at their feet, around six years old, chasing what was probably a seven-year-old Charlie Weasley. Tonks was adorable. She was the one who displayed the most burn marks on her body. Even her hair was a little singed.

"This was the day after the attack on our house," she said. "Ted insisted we have a family portrait so soon after a disaster because he wanted it to remind us that we still had each other despite being homeless, and that was worth everything," Andromeda explained, struggling to keep her composure.

"Oh?" was all Remus had to say. After all, every time that night was mentioned, he still felt a little ashamed.

"But it got me thinking of other things. So many tiny details could've been altered one little bit, and Nymphadora wouldn't be with us, or she'd be changed forever. It made me think that Fate was really protecting us and guiding our footsteps," she mused. "It's very scary, thinking on how one little change in the timeline could potentially have you in a completely different life right now. Have you ever thought of that? Remus?"

Remus smiled and nodded to himself. So many things…if Tonks had never been accepted into the Order, if Kingsley had decided to recommend another Auror for the position, he and his wife would've never met. If Mad-Eye had been three seconds late to fetch a six-year-old Tonks from his clutches, he might've killed her or turned her into a fellow werewolf, and Tonks would've grown up despising him like he'd despised Fenrir Greyback. If Tonks had given up her fight for Remus' love, they still would not be together right now, having a baby at the crack of dawn.

So much to think about!

"I have no regrets about how I've lived my life up to this point, you know," Andromeda said as Remus studied the picture further (he hoped their son would resemble Tonks for his sake…she was quite a cute child!).

"You don't?" Remus asked. Tonks screamed from behind the closed door. Remus had to fight the reflex to run in there and ask what was wrong. Perhaps it was Andromeda's hand on his shoulder that held him back.

"No. There were times I knew I made some bad moves. But regret is more extreme than people make it sound. I don't regret a single movie I've made, and that is how life should be lived."

"I have regrets," Remus said.

"I suspected as much," Andromeda said.

After a pause, Remus found something else to say to continue the awkward conversation. "You're saying you want me to raise my son to live a life without regret?"

"Raising a baby is incredibly rough, Remus. You have no idea what a journey what you will be in for. Sometimes you will want to kill your son. Sometimes you will want to kill Nymphadora, and she will want to kill you. It all happened with Ted and I. But I still don't have a single regret with the way I raised my daughter," Andromeda lectured.

"How can you not have one single regret after so many years?" Remus marveled.

"Instinct," Andromeda said.

"I don't know if I have any of those," Remus muttered. Andromeda shook her head.

"No, you do," she said. "The Powers That Be wouldn't allow you to be a father if you didn't."

"He's going to be the only child at school whose father has to 'go away' every month to transform into a hideous beast. How can I possibly have any instinct?" Remus asked.

Andromeda rolled her eyes. "You've shown incredible instinct with Nymphadora already."

"I ran away from her when I heard she was pregnant!"

"You came to your senses. Remus, no one makes perfect decisions," Andromeda said. "But you came back, and you're here now. You left to protect her, not to abandon your duty to her."

Tonks screamed again. Remus noted that each scream she uttered got louder and longer.

"Andromeda, are you ever going to forgive me for what I did?" Remus asked. Andromeda paused a moment

"Tell me, Remus, how you plan to raise my grandson," she finally said.

"Well, give him lots of food, send him to a good school, make sure he sees a dentist every year, make sure he does his homework, punish him when he's bad, reward him when he's good—"

Andromeda briskly shook her head. "Wrong, Remus. That is wrong. Bellatrix would do all of that, Merlin forbid she ever had a baby. "

Remus sighed and thought a moment before answering again. "I…I'll raise him with love, utter devotion to his well being. I'll raise him to know a life better than the life I lead. I'll raise him to be proud of who he is no matter who he is, and I'll break my back to make sure the world he lives in is better than the world I lived in."

Andromeda smiled and nodded only slightly. "Very good. See, you have instinct!"

"So, you forgive me, finally?" he asked.

Andromeda didn't nod, but neither did she frown or shake her head. "Forgiving you would be a waste of energy. It's not worth it, for I know you and Nymphadora both will make parenting decisions that will most likely piss me off and make me groan. But, I do trust you to take care of my daughter and grandson, so, as long as you allow me to spend time with him occasionally, feel free to consider us on good terms again."

Remus nodded. He looked at the small clock on the wall. The clock told him that it was five-thirty in the morning. A very faint light-blue light began to peek in from the window down the hall.

"Andromeda, what is the date today?" he asked.

"April fourth, I believe. Why?" she asked.

Remus smiled. As if on cue, Tonks screamed one last time, and then the screams gave way to a loud, clear, crying sound.

"Today's my son's birthday," he said softly. The Healer opened the door. Remus practically shoved her against the wall as he rushed into the room.

The sight he saw on the bed was a sight that he would keep locked away in his emory and look fondly on until the day he died. Tonks, her hair a pale pink, was smiling as she held a small bundle in her arms. Not a childish, friendly smile, but a smile of content, of motherly satisfaction. The bundle in her arms squirmed. Remus kneeled by the bed.

"He, regretfully, looks like you," she said, jokingly, opening the blanket and showing Remus the bloody, slimy mass of child that squirmed restlessly in her arms. Remus chuckled and didn't know what the hell Tonks was talking about.

"His hair is black. The Black Family dark hair. He'll look like you, only without the pink hair," Remus said.

"His face is wrinkled," Tonks said back. "He'll look like you," she said.

Remus had to admit, for a person only ten minutes old, he already had sturdy little leg muscles, which he used to thrash about. Clearly, he was much happier in his OTHER room…

Andromeda appeared at his side. She clutched her hands to her mouth and gaped down at her grandson.

"By Merlin's staff, I'm a grandmother," she whispered. "I just hope the black hair isn't an indication of his demeanor…it's the shade of my older sister's hair…"

Tonks and Remus exchanged nervous glances.

* * *

Dawn broke clearly and fully. The Healer pronounced mother and child fit, but gave directions to call her if problems arose. Sometime after she left, around none that morning, the clear sun and blue sky gave way to overcast skies and the winds picked up. There was a rainstorm, the first major rain storm of the season, coming in soon enough.

Remus had gone downstairs to get Tonks something to eat, but when he came back upstairs with a bowl of porridge, he nearly dropped it upon seeing Tonks and her baby. That was not the same baby he'd seen when he left the room!

Tonks laughed when she saw the look on Remus' face. "He's like me!" she bragged. Indeed, the baby's hair was no longer black as Harry Potter's, but now a gingerish red. He looked like the eighth Weasley!

"A Metamorphmagus," Remus said, beaming. "Like his Mum!"

"I told you it was more likely he'd be like me!" she said.

Remus sat on the bed next to Tonks. She suddenly spoke up.

"Why don't you make your way over to Shell Cottage to give them the news?" she asked. "They're probably worried sick about us!"

"I think I'll do just that," Remus said, kissing Tonks' forehead. "Should I introduce him to the world as Ted Remus Lupin?"

Tonks nodded. "Of course. We decided that yesterday, love."

"But, who should the godparents be?" Remus suddenly asked. Tonks' train of thought halted a moment. She hadn't thought of that!

She suddenly smiled as Remus went to make a suggestion. Almost at the same time, both parents said, "Harry."

"You want Harry Potter as Teddy's godfather too?" Remus asked. "I thought so because—"

"—who better?" Tonks said, shrugging. "I think he'd be perfect. He's still young, but so are we. It isn't like we're going to die tomorrow. He'll be more of an uncle at first anyway, but just in case, when we're all older, it's always in good measure..."

"Of course, dear," Remus cooed. Tonks sighed happily.

"Go, go tell him the news!" Tonks said happily, waving him away in the same manner a Queen might dismiss a subject (of course, this was only jokingly).

Remus grinned. Tonks laughed. It was as if having Teddy sent Remus back in time emotionally about fifteen years. He was giddy as a young man in love! Tonks had never seen Remus so…genuinely happy before. She liked seeing him this way.

"You should go before the storm hits," Tonks said. "And don't be long!"

Remus nodded and left to room to spread the happy news.

Only a few minutes later, Andromeda came into the room in a bathrobe, giggling. "Remus certainly is feeling chipper today."

"Yesterday, I don't think you'd ever expect to describe him as 'chipper'!" Tonks remarked.

"Let me hold Teddy?" Andromeda asked. Tonks obliged and immediately held her son out. His hair was getting even lighter, as if about to go blonde.

Andromeda paced the room with the baby in her arms, who was still somewhat restless, but now not nearly as loud. She was quiet as she held him.

"He's not going to be as much a trouble maker as you were," she finally said.

"Oh? How can you tell?" Tonks asked, sitting up straight in bed to eat some of Remus' porridge. Labor had left her exhausted and hungry, but hunger currently overpowered the exhaustion.

"Within five hours of your birth, you were already sporting green and pink and purple hair colors," Andromeda said. "At least this young man is decent enough to stick to naturals," she noted.

Tonks smiled. "He's a bit loud, isn't he?"

"Oh, when you were a newborn, we couldn't get you to shut up unless you had a bottle on your lips," Andromeda said. "Just wait until he's a toddler. He'll be more trouble than any member of the Tonks family is worth!"

"One day at a time, Mum," Tonks said quickly. "One day at a time!"

"Indeed. Well, perhaps I should let you get some rest until Remus comes back," Andromeda said. "I can take care of Teddy until he comes home, then we can have a big lunch. But you've had a long night, so take a nap," she instructed.

Tonks nodded and scooted down in the bed, contentedly closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep before Andromeda could even shut the blinds and close the door.

The house was quiet once again after the second longest night of Andromeda's life. With her grandson in her arms (he'd seemed to settle down quite a bit as she held him) Andromeda went downstairs and to the window in the kitchen that overlooked the garden where he simple memorial to her husband was. She didn't dare take the newborn outside and expose him to the cool, wet air yet.

"Ted, your grandson's here," Andromeda muttered.

A small, delicate wind rustled through the rosebush she'd planted, as if Ted was approving of the new addition to his family being named after him.

Dawn had broken on a new era. Andromeda just couldn't wait to see what would happen next.


	38. That Beautiful Front Window

April grew extremely warm very fast, at least in the air around Tonks cottage. Of course, that might just have been the bliss the four inhabitants of the cottage were living in.

The new addition to the Tonks-Lupin family, Teddy, was a jovial infant with a cherub-like face. He brought nothing but absolute love and joy to his parents, and he quickly became the reason Remus and Tonks woke up in the morning. He was clearly a Metamorphmagus with at least as much talent as his mother. As a baby only weeks old, he, of course, couldn't control his powers yet, but Tonks was already beginning to make animal faces around him. She'd developed an interesting theory on if she began morphing around her son, he'd be able to gain control over his morphing abilities even before he became of school age.

"I had to take special lessons with a man who could morph and was of age during my first year of school," Tonks explained. "They were such a burden on my social life, so if Teddy can have reasonable control by the time he's eleven, then we won't have to enroll him in special classes."

The new parents quickly noticed patterns with Teddy's hair color, and they quickly learned that the colors Teddy would display were not random. When his hair was blue, he was happy. When it was a pale yellow, he needed to be changed. When it was green, he wasn't feeling well. When it was a dull brown, he was either just sad or tired. And when t was Weasley-red, it meant he wanted to see his Mummy and Daddy.

Remus' youthful disposition continued, as if Teddy was completely changing his life. He and Teddy were already forming an incredible bond, from what Tonks observed. Twice already, she'd found Remus asleep on the sofa, Teddy nestled in his arms, his hair a bright, neon blue. It was a very warm feeling Tonks felt whenever she saw Remus and her son together, sharing father-son time. It made her reflect back on the times before the Second War escalated last summer. She'd been so young and innocent in her interest for Remus. She'd seen him as so much more than what he was, and oh how her mind had stretched her view of him! Now she saw him for everything he was and nothing more…and she was suddenly satisfied with it.

Andromeda, Tonks noticed, wasn't as close to Teddy as she and Remus were. It wasn't that she went out of her way to avoid him, but she didn't exactly volunteer to play with him or hold him. It was curious. Tonks once attempted to bring this up with her mother while Remus bathed Teddy.

The only reasonable answer Andromeda had to offer was, "He's your son, not mine. Once the war ends and you three move out, if we have gotten close, he will miss me too much, and we cannot have him suffer from separation anxieties on a count of his grandmother."

Tonks learned to be satisfied with this.

The month went by almost as if it was only a day. Tonks and Remus hardly slept, what with Teddy's midnight cries for food, and that one time they feared he'd gotten a cold. But the lack of sleep wasn't sorely missed, in between the bouts of laughter Teddy offered them. So many memories were made inside of the month. For the first time in an extremely long time, Tonks felt as if she were the member of a warm, comforting family.

On the morning of May 1st, Tonks and Remus decided to allow Teddy to sleep until he cried, instead of wake him for a morning meal. It was one of the few times they could have an intimate moment, and they chose to spend it out in the garden by Ted Tonks' mini-memorial, eating a small breakfast and enjoying the sunrise sitting in the grass.

"Remus? Any news of the war?" Tonks asked, only half-interested. She leaned her head on her husband's shoulder as he thought. He would still tune in to _Potterwatch_ while Tonks put Teddy down for naps and such.

He shook his head. "I'm not sure. It's….quiet over the airwaves. Almost too quiet."

"What does that mean?"

Remus shrugged. "It's like calm before a storm," he muttered. "I can feel it in my bones, almost. Something is about to happen…something big."

"Oh, come on, Remus, you're not old enough to feel things in your bones yet!" Tonks said, laughing. "I say no news is good news, and you just sound silly."

"No," Remus said. "It was like this before. There was a steady…quiet period before Vol—You-Know-Who went to Godric's Hollow." (The Dark Lord's name was still taboo, and saying it now would put Teddy in danger.)

"Well, let's keep our fingers crossed that things don't erupt like that."

"It'll be the way things have to end," Remus said. "You're still too young to understand. The only way we can win is with one final, all-out battle in which we have to be victorious."

"I suppose I should trust you. You do have more experience than I," Tonks said. Remus looked down at her and smirked. Two years ago, she wouldn't have conceded like that, she would've fought the suggestion that she was immature until the bitter end. She'd grown up. A lot.

But he didn't try to say any of this aloud. Instead, he savored the tender moment and ran his hand up and down the back of Tonks' neck. Tonks shivered at this touch, but didn't try to pull away.

"I certainly hope we have enough on our side to win this epic final battle," Tonks mumbled. "They are already down two fighters."

"Two?" Remus asked. "I thought that—"

"—the two of us," Tonks said. "We're both needed here. If we receive word from Kingsley that there is to be a battle, surely neither of us would accept it," she insisted.

Remus did pull away from Tonks now. "You wouldn't go, that would be absurd. But there's nothing that's forcing me to stay behind."

"But there is," Tonks said. "Remus, you have a family now. We need you."

"But fellow wizards fighting for the cause of peace need me. Every fighter is one more shred of hope that we can win against their massive forces, Dora," Remus explained. "I am one of the most experienced, skilled fighter on the Order's side. I'd have to go."

Tonks shook her head. "One man will not make a difference," she said. She immediately wanted to take it back, for she suddenly sounded like a little girl again, like she did when she was arguing for Remus' love, only now she was arguing to keep it.

"Dora, you need to understand what I'm saying."

"But if you—" Tonks suddenly cut herself off before she said something that would make her cry. She decided to quickly change course before that nasty thought entered her head that was almost inevitable should Remus stick to his current course. "Remus, darling…" Tonks started again, turning to face her husband, taking both of his bug, rough hands in hers, which were no longer sift and dainty, but calloused and red from all of the hard work she had to do as a new mother.

"Dora," Remus muttered back, almost inaudibly. "I would be a selfish ass not to answer my call of duty."

"Love, you don't know what it's like. What I went through, waiting and worrying for you. It's a pain worse than the Torture Curse, it's a pain worse than being on fire, waiting in limbo for fate to decide whether my true love lives or dies. I would not wish a pain like that on Bellatrix Lestrange or even You-Know-Who himself, and your suggestion is that when, and if active battle resumes, you're planning to subject me to that torment all over again just to retain your pride?" A small bead of sweat rolled down the side of her face.

"Pride? Since when did PRIDE enter the equation?" Remus suddenly barked back, his voice still quiet, but suddenly three degrees rougher.

"Since you said just ten seconds ago that you would be considered a selfish—"

"—I know what I said," Remus interrupted.

"Remus, I would rather throw myself into that battle myself and die than to sit at the front window for four months, wondering if you are out there still, or gone forever," Tonks said. "I would die FOR you."

Remus immediately shook his head. "You are to go nowhere near the front."

"It's not as ridiculous a notion at you think it is. You just said yourself you're one of the most skilled members of the Order. Have you forgotten that I am only one of two Aurors left standing? Don't you think my extensive training under The Great Alastor Moody will not work to my advantage at all?" Tonks reasoned. "I could very well go into battle—"

"—not while you're needed here—"

"—YOU'RE NEEDED HERE TOO!" Tonks protested.

Remus reached out to brush a small tear away from the side of her cheek. "Let's…let's not talk anymore about it," he said. "It was wrong of me to bring it up at all. There is no battle, not yet, anyways. We'll decide what's best when the time comes, but until then, let's just sit and enjoy this beautiful moment together—"

Suddenly, a shrill cry rang out from upstairs. Teddy was awake. Tonks got up and rolled her eyes.

"Speaking of when duty calls," she muttered. Remus laughed and got to his own feet.

"I'll help you out," he said. The pair went inside, neglecting the dark set of clouds beginning to obscure the sun off to the east.

* * *

It was just before supper the following evening, Tonks and Andromeda were setting the table, while Remus was making clouded shapes of horses running around little Teddy's head as he lied on his favorite blue blanket, his hair matching.

"I don't get how it was so nice yesterday, and today's it's been dark, cold, and cloudy," Andromeda muttered. "The winds are picking up as well."

"It's England," Remus answered from the den. Tonks raised her eyebrows and nodded.

"Need we explain more, Mum?" Tonks asked. Andromeda pouted her lips.

"Merlin forbid your son grows to be a sharp-tongued mischief-maker like his Mum," she said, her eyes showing slight amusement. She then leaned her head out into the den and cleared her throat so her son-in-law could look at her.

"Well, the roast is nearly finished, Remus, so if you want to put Teddy in his playpen—"

"—DUMBLEDORE!" Tonks shrieked as the room suddenly got very white.

"What??" Andromeda hollered. Teddy began crying. Remus scooped the baby in his arms and got quickly to his feet.

But Tonks did not mean Albus. She saw a large goat sprinting in through the window and positioning itself in front of her. Tonks vaguely remembered that to be the Patronus of Albus' little brother Aberforth, who was almost his polar opposite. But Tonks didn't know him well enough to form a well-constructed opinion of him.

_"Battle at Hogwarts. You-Know-Who and Death Eaters present in massive numbers…every able-bodied fighter needed desperately."_

The goat fizzled away. Tonks suddenly felt the kitchen get a hell of a lot harder.

"Dumbledore?" Tonks said. "I meant Aberforth…" she mumbled.

Remus bolted into the kitchen and immediately put Teddy in his mother's hands. Tonks didn't have time to speak. "I'm going," Remus said. He checked to make sure his wand was in full working order by flicking it a few times. The blue sparks that emerged were harmless, and Teddy reached out for them with his hands from Tonks' grip.

"Remus—"

"—Dora, you're staying here. I have to hurry," Remus said breathlessly, going to the closet where his broom, along with Tonks' and Andromeda's were. He grabbed his and headed for the front door. It was still daylight, but the sky was a dark grey already. Tonks rushed and followed him.

"Remus—"

"—don't argue, it'll only make this harder," Remus replied, quickly bending down to kiss Teddy on the forehead, then moving up to kiss his wife's mouth. Tonks kissed with every ounce of energy she had, as if Remus would change his mind and stay if the kiss satisfied him enough.

"Be careful," was all Tonks said. It was true, an argument would make this moment even harder to bear. Instead she said nothing more, and only stood back as she watched Remus take off and fly out of sight, beyond the clouds and the horizon of nearby Rowena's Way.

Tonks refused to come inside for the better part of an hour. She just stood there, Teddy waiting patiently in her arms, looking to the sky, half expecting Remus to fly back any moment saying how it was a false alarm.

But it didn't happen. He didn't comeback. Tonks began to feel a dull ache in her chest…a very FAMILIAR dull ache.

Was that brief moment the last moment she would ever see him alive? How could she possibly live another moment wondering if the love of her life, her Remus, the reason she lived, was off fighting for his life…or worse…a hundred miles away?

"Nymphadora, darling," Andromeda said, softly from behind her. "Teddy will catch cold," she said. "Come inside, darling," she insisted.

Tonks nodded silently and followed Andromeda in. "I'll be upstairs if you need me," was all she said before heading for the staircase.

The overwhelming feelings Tonks fought down were causing her to being to lose her head ever so slightly. So, here she was again, condemned to wait and worry, to see if he would be lucky enough once again, to come home to her.

But would he be lucky this time?

Tonks noticed Teddy beginning to grow impatient, so she gently changed his diaper and put him down in his playpen, where he began to settle down and fall asleep. Tonks watched him, and she noticed with a painful realization that he looked like Remus when he slept.

Tonks looked up at the front window…she felt a strong, magnetic attraction to it. It was as if it drew her into it, and she wanted nothing but to resist it, because she knew what painful memories that front window contained, and what terrible news it had to bear. She felt the tears begin to build up at the corner of her eyes. That window…that damned front window.

So much flashed before her eyes in that moment she felt herself being pulled to it. It was absolutely amazing the power it held. It was as if the window told her entire story. She could see her reflection in the glass. She was looking in a mirror, reciting things to herself when he first came into her life. The window gave way to the moon, partially covered by clouds, as it was the first night Tonks and Remus had duty together. The curtains were lavender, the same color as Tonks' wedding dress. The window couldn't close all the way (no matter how many cursed times Andromeda tried to fix it), so there was a draft. The draft was the most powerful thing about the window. It made Tonks' feet cold.

As they were right now. As they were whenever Tonks would be around Remus. Those cold feet suddenly told her exactly what she needed to do. The window called her name and bade her to come and explore what was beyond it. So much more comfort awaited her on the outside…knowledge, destiny…

The front window, that beautiful front window, guided her to do what she did next…

* * *

Strange how Nymphadora hadn't made so much as a peep since Andromeda had gone upstairs to bed. Sitting at her vanity table, brushing her long, brown hair (and plucking a few grays here and there), Andromeda had found the next hours going by ominously silent. Had Nymphadora gone to bed? No, she didn't hear any footsteps on those creaky old stairs. Did she cry herself to sleep on the sofa?

No, because the walls and floors were so thin, Andromeda would've heard even stifled sobbing. Teddy had been somewhat quiet up to this point too.

Or maybe she was just sitting, staring out the window like she had done for most of last autumn. Andromeda knew what waiting and wondering felt like, especially during those months where she didn't know the condition and location of Ted. She only prayed silently to herself that her daughter would have better luck.

But since when was Nymphadora one to sit and wait for fortune to come to her? She used to prefer going out and actively seeking the answers herself—

"Oh….no, no, she wouldn't…" Andromeda suddenly muttered to herself, her heart skipping four beats. It occurred to her…but that would be a stupid move on her part! Nymphadora wouldn't just abandon her son to go look for her husband on the front lines of a dangerous battlefield?

But Nymphadora was always full of surprises. After all, she did find true love in the last place Andromeda expected her too.

But just the same…

Suddenly, Teddy's distinct cry could be heard from downstairs. Andromeda quickly grabbed her bathrobe and threw it on over her flimsy nightgown. She opened the door and bolted down the stairs as fast as she could. What she found downstairs send Andromeda into a state of near-mental breakdown. But she could keep her composure for Teddy….she had too…

The room was empty except for Teddy wailing in the playpen. The broom closet door was open, and only her own broom remained safely inside. The door wasn't closed all the way, and one of Nymphadora's favorite necklaces lied in the open doorway, clasp broken. On the chain was a ring of sorts, the significance of which Andromeda never quite understood, but it had a purple stone shaped like a dog's paw print on it. The stone was flashing a bright color…

Andromeda bit her lip until blood drew. Nymphadora had done it. She'd actually done it.

Quickly, Andromeda scooped her wailing grandson in her arms and began rocking him gently.

"Don't worry, Teddy, they'll be back someday…just you wait and see. Your Mummy always comes back…"


	39. Epilogue: A Promise in the Haze

_**A/N:**_ _Well, here's the epilogue to my longest, greatest epic fic ever written! Phew, am I tired after finishing this! It took nine solid months, and I am so thrilled this fic alone garnered a bit of a fan base. It's been quite a ride writing, and I said this in the beginning and I'll say it again so there are no questions: yes, I believe this is what was happening all along in the books, once you read between the lines. I consider this canon no matter how many interviews hapen to come out later, no matter what the wikis say._

_To all of those who reviewed this fic along, even if just for the prizes, I thank you most humbly. You were the reason I carried on with this fic through hiatus and writer-block and busy work schedules! Please pat yourselves on the back. You all are just wonderful. Enjoy the final chapter in my epic Remus/Tonks story The Lone Wolf, and see you next fic!_

_Signed, Sadie Lovegood _

* * *

The summer's evening was damp from the midday thunderstorms that had rolled on by earlier, but not altogether miserable. The humidity almost created a bit of evening haze, that when the sliver of sun that shown reflected off it, made the large acre of land appear orange. The whole area was deserted except for the tombstones lining the horizon, creating winding paths this way and that. Indeed, the Albus W. P. B. Dumbledore Memorial Cemetery, located just outside Hogsmeade, was quiet, still. Not even the crows bothered to disturb the peace. Not many witches and wizards had the nerve to do so, either. That is, aside from the three that had just made their way past the Hog's Head and through the wrought-iron gate.

Three people, three varying heights, shapes, and postures. The shortest of the three carried herself with an air of pride despite being where she was. Her hair was a golden red, wavy, tied in a loose braid running down until it stopped in the small of her back. Her eyes and her height were her mother's, but her carriage and her style belonged to her 'cool' father. She wore a navy blue suit that made her look mature for her twenty-two years.

Her hand was intertwined with the tallest person's hand. His hair tonight was a familiar mousy brown, but his eyes were his favorite shade of violet. His face was a spitting image of his own father's (handsome, a little thin, perhaps, but still symmetrical), but he walked with a slight forward lean like his mother and had a tendency to trip over trifles in the road. He was the reason the trio was in the cemetery to begin with. His free hand held a bundle of lavender lilies, and he wore a chain around his neck holding a ring on it, a ring with a purple paw-print-shaped stone. The ring itself meant little to him, but it was still somehow his most precious posession.

Behind the couple walked the third figure, of medium height. She used a cane to walk, for her old age had taken much of the use of her right leg. Okay, so she wasn't as old as some believed her to be, but her years of loss followed by her years of raising her grandson had aged her considerably. But she was not ashamed of it. Every wrinkle was proof that she had the strength inside her to carry forward, not only for her ward, but for herself as well.

The tallest man knew the intended pathway more than either of the other two. He went there every Hogsmeade weekend during his school days, now seven years past. The path he walked was practically worn down through the grass from the many times he'd walked there.

As they walked deeper into the evening haze, the red haired young woman suddenly stopped at a grave she was always mesmerized by. Her fiancé knew to stop when she did, but the old woman only halted after a few seconds. It was the grave of the uncle she never knew, her father's younger brother who had died only minutes before her fiancé's parents.

After a minute of somewhat awkward reverence for Fred Gideon Weasley, the trio moved on further down the hazy path. Thus far, none of them had said a word.

The young woman let go of her fiance's hand as he picked up speed in anticipation, and she let him go ahead of her. The young man with brown hair and the lavender lilies wound his way through the tombstones. Colin Creevey, the youngest casualty…Sirius Black, who's elaborate memorial had no body under it...Emmeline Vance, who's grave had obviously recently been visited as the base of the stone was covered in flowers…Michael Corner, who's stone had the proud shield of Ravenclaw on it…

Finally, the young man arrived at the two grave markers, laying side by side, under a small willow that had been planted between the two as if to shelter the graves from rain and snow. The man knelt beside the first stone and took half the bundle of lilies and laid them underneath the stone…

**Remus John Lupin**

**1960-1998**

**Friend, Husband, Father, Brave Fighter**

**Order of the Phoenix Member I & II**

This was always the awkward part for the young man. Talking to his father.

"Dad, I'm sure you know tomorrow's the big day. I just wanted to let you know saved a seat in the front row for both you and Mum, in case you felt like dropping in from heaven or wherever it is you are. Can't make as many promises about the cake, though…" The man paused and clicked his tongue and looked behind him. He was still alone. Perhaps they'd gone to look at his grandfather's memorial. He still had time.

"I failed Stealth and Tracking again for the third time, but I'm sure a few more private lessons with Uncle Harry and I'll finally be an Auror. Grandmum says I have Mum to thank for my uncanny ability to trip over thin air."

Sighing, the young man turned to the other stone, his Mum's stone.

**Nymphadora Rhea Tonks-Lupin**

**1973-1998**

**Loyal Wife, Mother, Auror**

**Werewolf Rights Advocate**

**Order of the Phoenix Member II**

"Mum, I hope you don't mind Vicky uses your wedding dress tomorrow. She fits it perfectly, or so I've heard. She won't let me see her in it until tomorrow morning. I found it in Grandmum's attic and she agreed to let her wear it. I bet you looked just beautiful in it. Anyway, if you think you're getting grandchildren, don't hold your breath—metaphorically speaking—for a few years. She needs to finish her Healing studies and I still need to pass that damned Auror final," he said to his mother's tombstone, taking the second bunch of lilies and placing them under her headstone.

"And Grandmum said how you liked making your hair pink, let me assure you it will not be that way tomorrow. I hope you'll approve of sky blue instead."

"Teddy?" cooed a voice from behind the young man. He turned around to see his two female companions with him. He smiled.

"Yes, Grandmum?" he asked. Andromeda Tonks nodded at the graves.

"You need another minute?" she asked her ward. The creases under her eyes were deepend as she gave a smile to her only grandchild. The younger woman stepped up beside her fiancé and kneeled beside him, looking at her parents-in-law's memorials.

"Ted, if you want to be alone, Gran and I can wait with the Portkey," she assured. Ted shook his head.

"Aren't we eating with Harry tonight, Victoire?"

She shook her head. "You and Gran are. Mummy's taking me and my girlfriends to London for my bachelorette party, remember?"

"That's right," Teddy said. "I…I just felt like I needed to do this before we got married."

Victoire nodded with understanding. "Of course. Do whatever you need."

Teddy looked back at the graves again. He'd never known either of them. All he ever knew he learned from his grandmother. But she kept non secrets from them, and when Teddy had a question about his parents, Andromeda always answered in full, and he was grateful for that.

Of course, she couldn't answer everything, especially when Teddy asked how they had died in the battle. Andromeda could only provide him with rumors she'd picked up from surviving Order members, like Kingsley and the Weasleys. According to Kingsley Shacklebolt and Mr. Weasley, Remus had died first, and Tonks survived him for almost a half hour before she fell at the hands of Andromeda's own sister, Bellatrix. Mr. Weasley claimed they'd fought side-by-side until Remus fell. Kingsley, on the other hand, said that Tonks had never found Remus at all. Then, there was Lee Jordan and Mrs. Weasley, who both stuck by their story that Tonks fell first, and Remus had actually allowed Antonin Dolohov to kill him when he saw Tonks fall, as if seeing her dead made him lose his will to live. She never knew which story to believe, nor which story she wanted to believe. But in the end, the conclusions were always the same, and both Andromeda and Teddy developed their own separate ideas over time.

Andromeda walked a little closer. "Your father always called himself a lone wolf, you know," she recalled. "He's not a lone wolf anymore."

"I don't think he ever was, Grandmum," Teddy said fondly. "I never knew the man, but something tells me that all along, he was never alone. There was Mum, and Uncle James and Sirius, right?"

Andromeda smiled. "You need to stop sneaking around through his old schoolbooks. Just because I gave you a key to the attic does not mean you have a right to snoop."

"What can I say? I'm a Marauder by blood!" Teddy declared proudly. Andromeda winced.

"Stop calling yourself that. It makes you sound like a deviant!" Victoire giggled.

Teddy snickered and stared at the graves. What would his parents say about how he lived his life up to this point? He was a bit of a rebel at school, yet at the same time became Hufflepuff's male prefect because of his ability to charm the professors. He had his heart set on only two things now: Victoire and becoming an Auror.

But he knew about one thing: whatever possessed his father into thinking he was a lone wolf wasn't true. Sure, he was a werewolf, scarred and seemingly defeated. But that's why his Mum was brought into his Dad's life. And he had friends, and a kind heart. Lone Wolves cared only for themselves. Remus Lupin cared about his whole pack. That was all that mattered.

Sometimes Teddy dreamed about them. Often, he'd see a man with a face almost exactly like his, holding the hand of a shorter woman with spiky pink hair. They'd sometimes be spiraling around a dance floor in each other's arms. Other times he saw two silhouettes against a full moon, wrapped in each other's embrace. But his most frequent dream was when he saw two Patronuses, both wolves, prancing beautifully along a country meadow, past a windmill, over the forests and through valleys. It was a beautiful dream, and oftentimes Teddy would cast his own Patronus, a coyote, to follow them as they wandered.

"You coming?" Teddy snapped out of the small trance he'd placed himself in. Victoire had gotten up and was now holding out her hand to Teddy to help him to his feet. Teddy took her hand and got up.

"I'll be fine," Teddy said.

Victoire caressed her lover's cheek with a long, thin finger. "Oh, I had no doubt you would be," she replied, brushing his lips with her own, briefly.

"Not in front of Mum!" Teddy said quickly, jokingly pointing at the graves. Victoire giggled and let Teddy lead her out of the graveyard, out of the haze, and into life. A life his parents had died giving to him.

Well, he would not let them down. He would make the most of the gift his parents left him. He would not be a lone wolf. It was a promise that would hang in suspension over the hazy graveyard forever, never to be broken or let down.


End file.
